My Misadventures of Life

Well, yeah...

2010-08-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

Either I'm the world's worst procrastinator at restarting this thing or I have the biggest case of writer's block EVER!

I've wrestled with the thought of scrapping this for something new but that feels like I'd be that guy dumping his wife who he had all those great memories with for a hot new piece of ass. Ok, the metaphor is there because I just saw "It's Complicated" earlier this week.

I'm back...I promise this time.

I SUUUUCCCKKKK!!!

2009-04-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

Much like a moth to a flame, Twitter has taken all my attention but I cannot deny my love for this blog!

I'm back people - watch out! I'll still update the rest of my trip but for the most part, I'm typing from this point forward.

This resurgence has been inspired by Karen Seeta.

The Arrival of the Girl from California

2008-12-31T05:01:00.000-08:00

It felt like a whole day had passed when I finally arrived in Germany. Because of the time difference, I arrived at 5pm which made me feel like I had travelled for a whole day since I had left at 530pm the day before. I have to say that for as much as I hadn't slept - I was feeling pretty good. I could guess that most of it was the excitement of actually arriving in one piece and that I was seeing Kostas again for the first time in about 3 months. Let me state for the record that exiting the airport at Stuttgart felt like I was a mouse in a maze experiment. We went down these tunnels that were covered and it made it really easy to find baggage claim. I thought it was hysterical.

We leave the airport and we arrive at Kostas's sister's house for some dinner and chit chat.

I've arrived!!!

I wasnt sure how chit chatty I was going to be because I felt like I was going to crash at any minute because of the jet lag. I figured if I stayed up until 9pm or so - I should be able to adjust in one day...SHOULD. We hung out and talked until 9pm and then I decided to hit the sack. Might have been a great plan in theory but it didnt work in reality. I woke up around 1130pm and couldnt go back to sleep until 2am...then I woke up at 6am and waited for everyone else to get up. Let me say that its really weird when the sun doesnt come out until 8:00am or so because it feels like its night FOREVER. And on top of that, I didnt have a watch so I had to always go in search of a clock.

The next morning, Kostas was going to take me to meet his parents. They run a stand at one of the local farmer's market and I was excited to see some of the city since I had only seen it at night on the way in.

Here are his parents at the market:

And this is me...freezing my ass off and enjoying a nice cup of soup to warm myself up.

We hung out at the market with them for a bit and then headed back to Stella's to relax, eat, play with the baby, and get ready for our departure to Venice the next day.

On the way back to her place, I saw this clearing and insisted that we stop for some pictures.

Ok, I'll admit that it was more of a "I want to have a Sound of Music moment" but still!

Amsterdam Airport

2008-12-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

After my flight lands, we off load and I take off to my connecting flight. Since I dont know the airport, I make a note of my new gate and head over there.

During the last 30 minutes of the flight, the airline showed a little video about the airport and the different things you can do there. I was kind of excited to check the place out since I had 3 hours to kill and decided to take a look around while I made my way to my gate.

If you recall the last post, I was wearing my comfy pants on the flight. This part of the story requires a bit of background.

I've had my velour pants for a while and occassionally use them to run quick errands to the market or to get gas in addition the their laying around the apartment responsibilities. One time, I wore them to go to the market with Kostas and he gave me such shit about "wearing my pajamas" out in public. And when talking about the trip, I told him that I was planning to put them on for the flight - I could hear the eye roll over the phone. Back to our regularly scheduled program...

So I'm walking through the airport, in my velour pants, and no kidding - I got some looks. And I'll be damned if I'm going to admit this to him - he'll have to read it on my blog like everyone else!

Because of the lack of sleep, my body was all wonky and all I wanted to was to sit down somewhere to relax. I also had to stop and get some souveniers. Let me state that the dollar is worth effing nothing! Its not that I didn't know this but its different when you are signing those charge slips.

After my purchases, I headed to the immigration checkpoint to get to my gate and because of my lack of sleep, it really didnt occur to me that once I pass I probably wouldn't be able to see the rest of the airport. So I pass the immigration point and get my little stamp - my first stamp in my passport!!!!!

I put my things on the belt for the xray machine and as my stuff is passing, I see the video lady giving my bag to the security guy. He asks me if the bag is mine and asks for permission to look inside. I was thinking if there was anything in there that might be an issue but couldn't think of anything. Until he pulled out my water bottle that I had bought at LAX. He proceeded to give me a lecture on liquids and the appropriate sizes and all I could do was apologize. I jokingly said that it was probably because of the lack of sleep from the flight - to which he looked me up and down and well...lets just say that sarcasm doesn't translate very well over in The Netherlands.

After my mini-security incident, I get on the moving walkway to head to my gate - this airport is very nice but effing huge. Because I was so tired, I was tempted to just stop where I was to take a short nap (which work out since I had my pillow and was already wearing my jammies). I took a few pictures as I made my way to the gate and figure that some pictures were better than none.

After finding a phone to call my mom and Kostas to let them know I had arrived, I went to sit at the gate until my departure time. I was so tempted to fall asleep but decided to fight it because I just couldn't do it. I could hear my mom's voice in my head "Don't fall asleep!! Those Europeans will steal your things!" and whats worse was that everyone around me was asleep. I changed into my jeans and washed my face and teeth to try to wake up.

A couple of hours later, my connecting flight is called and we get on a bus to get shuttled to the plane. When I sit down at my seat, I notice that I am, in fact, in the emergency exit row. Sweet lord - I HAVE LEG ROOM!!! I was so excited that I fell asleep for 45 minutes.

Flying The Friendly Skies

2008-12-27T20:12:00.001-08:00

The flight leaves on time and I get settled in for the long trip. I have to say that when the flight was booked, I was told that KLM had the best in flight entertainment. That everyone has their own little screen and you can pick and choose what type of entertainment to keep you occupied until you arrive at your destination.

This was not applicable on my flight.

I accepted defeat and figured that I loved myself for having a plan B - my sudoku game, iPod, laptop, a book, and my crochet. My flight left at 530pm and since it was a 10 hour flight, I figured that I had to get at least 5 hours of sleep to fend off the jet lag. So really, only 5 hours of that needed to be filled with a distraction. Whats worse is that I got stuck in the middle of three seats. I didn't have much room to maneuver and was slowly getting more and more frustrated with the arrangement.

Here is a picture of my legs and my seat.

I was even prepared to be comfy by wearing my comfy pants and that shall be revisited in another post.

I ended up watching more of the in-flight entertainment than I expected to because I couldn't get comfortable. And its not like I didn't try, I had two beers and had two benadryls to help the sleepy-time to come. But nooooo....I think I ended up sleeping a total of 2 hours. The times I managed to fall asleep, the girl who was sitting next to me had friends on the flight who would come visit and they would chat - loudly. And its not that I mind people having a good time on the flight but this was teenage girl chit chatty and my lack of sleep and room to move around was not taking kindly to it.

The food was pretty good and I watched an episode of The Simpsons, an episode of Big Bang Theory, the movies "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" (which I had seen before and loved) and "Hancock" (which I hadn't seen and managed to cross that off my list).

We finally arrive at our destination, which is Amsterdam, and I have about 3 hours to kill until my next flight.

European Vacation - Taking Off

2008-12-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

This whole holiday season has passed like a blur with me. If I wasnt distracted by wrapping up work, I was distracted by getting ready for Christmas - if I wasnt getting ready for Christmas, I was getting ready for my trip. Everyone would ask me how I was feeling about my trip and to be quite honest, I didn't really allow myself to think about it. Not that I wasn't invited but there was so much stuff to do!

Jake was none too happy about my departure and I was nervous about flying. I had never really been a nervous flyer but for some reason this trip was freaking me out a bit. I voiced my concerns to a few people and the comfort I received was not comforting - at all.

"Oh, I wouldnt worry about crashing into the ocean - I heard that if you are going to crash, the air pressure is lost so quickly that you actually lose conciousness, so you wouldnt feel anything anyways" is an example of what one person said to me. Yes, warm and fuzzy feelings all around.

Anyways, Christmas came and everything went off without a hitch. Jake cracked me up because he was tracking Santa via NORAD and as the time got closer, it occured to him that we didn't make cookies for Santa. So he did the next best thing...

Gotta love his creativeness. So Christmas Eve, I'm packed and ready to go. Surprisingly enough, it didn't take me that long to pack and I feel confident that the next day will go well. Santa arrives and we do our holiday thing and head to bed.

The next day...

I wake up and feel that since I did so much the day before that I can afford to relax in the morning. I had to be at the airport around 2:30pm - 3pm so I had plenty of time. Around 11am, I start getting ready...then Jake gets picked up...then my aunt shows up...then I have to pack my carry on.

Packing my carry-on was an adventure all on its own. Lets just say that my persistance to take my pillow and laptop was a blog post on its own that I'll spare my loyal readers. Because of all that and some last minute running around, we left my apartment around 215pm. Luckily, no traffic and a fast check-in allowed me to get back on track.

Finally, I was in the airport and just waiting for my plane to leave. It was a good sign that my flight was listed as early and I was ready to start my adventure.

Europe here I come!

The Holiday Haze

2008-12-18T23:23:00.000-08:00

The first thing I had to do this morning was to get gas for my car. So off I went to the gas station.

I put my debit card in.
I put the gas pump in tank.
I pushed the button.
I went to sit in my car because it was effing cold.

After a couple of minutes, I heard a click and went to remove the pump from the tank and headed to work. A few songs into my drive into work, I look down and notice that my gas gauge hadn't moved since I put the gas in earlier. I had two thoughts 1) I have a hole in my tank and I should be seriously concerned and 2) my gauge is broken.

I figured it was #2 because the gauge wasnt going down quickly enough to be dripping gas on the freeway. Then my little gas warning light came on. Then...then I had a thought.

Could I have not put any gas in the car at the station earlier? I kept going through the motions at the pump and apparently, I never put the gas in!

I finally make it to Hollywood and find a station to fill up my tank - this time making sure that the pump actually works and puts the gas in. I even got a receipt for proof!

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

2008-12-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

I have something to admit...over the weekend I watched "High School Musical" and whats more is that I LIKED IT! I have to get HSM2 to see if Gabriella and Troy actually get to kiss this time around! I know - the SHAME of it all!!

Now I'm reading Twilight and I cannot believe I got sucked into it so quickly! I'm at the part where Bella meets Jacob and hears "the story". When I'm reading this book, I have this thing in the pit of my stomach of wanting to know what happens. This anticipation to see what happens with Edward and Bella. I can piece stuff together from seeing the film trailer but its just not the same as reading it and letting your imagination go wild. And let me state for the record that in my mind, Edward looks like this:

Sigh...ok back to the point.

My friend remarked about how Twilight reminded her about being in love for the first time and its totally true! Both of these things have reminded me of how it was being a teenager and when even catching a glimpse of that guy you were enamoured with was a great thrill. And then if he talked to you, it was just the greatest feeling. Even getting a hello with your name gave your heart a flutter. I remember being head over heels for this guy in high school and I would time it so I would see him going to one class as I was heading to another. And of course you couldn't do it every day because then it was just needy and stalkerish - but you did it to see him and just put you there with him at the same place and time. Those were the days.

These stories and movies put forth the optimism that the popular guy will pick the new girl or the quiet girl (also seen in Grease and Sixteen Candles) or the hope that some good girl can change the bad boy (Breakfast Club and Dirty Dancing). Its a great expectation to have but its makes you a hopeless romantic that sometimes backfires because no one or nothing will be good enough. I'll admit that I'm one that I wanted my crush to show up somewhere I was "just because he heard I was there" (sigh - Jake Ryan) but I know that I shouldn't have that expectation because I'll always be looking for someone that will never show up.

Missing Some Game

2008-12-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

You know - I know I'm not ALL that, but I do have a little somethin'. But as the old saying goes, when it rains it pours.

Today, my coworker and I went to Starbucks for a little afternoon pick me up. As we were standing in line, this guy asks us if he could buy us our coffees. We decline and he insists because he just got a gift card from work and wanted to share. So we said sure and ordered our drinks. I usually order a tall and because its going to be a free drink, I upgrade to a grande. Then my coworker orders her drink and he's telling the cashier to "make hers a venti and give this one an extra shot with extra whipped cream!!". So we are standing there, thanking him for our coffees - he hands his gift card to the cashier and then leans over to ask us where we are from when the cashier says "I'm sorry sir, there is no money on this card"

"What?" - replies the guy.
"I'm sorry sir, there is no money on this card" the cashier repeats.
"But...there is supposed to be $80 on that card!"

At this time, my coworker and I are taking our own money out to pay for the drinks. The guy is standing there saying "Check again! Check again!" and the cashier checks one more time but its the same answer "No money on the card, sorry!" So the cashier takes our money to pay for the drinks and the guy is trying to get a receipt to show there is no money and then...he runs out of the store! No kidding! It was like seeing a little kid realize that he had peed his pants and he was running to go cry to his mommy.

Honestly, this is what it reminded me of...

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

The Problem With Being Irresistible

2008-12-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

On Saturday night, I went to a bar to celebrate a friend's birthday. While I was there, I was partying it up by have a few beers and singing along to the live band karaoke. So this guy kept walking past us and because we were drinking the same type of beer in this huge cans that we opted to take a picture (yes I'm all kinds of fun being out in public). We were taking a group picture and he jumped in - we had a good laugh and he left. About 4 minutes later, he shows up with a friend and asks for another "matching beers" picture. So I stand in the middle with one guy on each side, then I feel it...a hand slowly moving down my back and this guy's friend grabbing my ass.

It was one of those classic slow motion moments where you kind of stop and wonder "Is this really happening? I can feel it happening but I can't believe this guy is actually grabbing my ass!". So I reach up and grab his hand, like I was going to hold it, and bring it behind it...and twist it like those nice Navy boys taught me to do if I was ever being assaulted. I could hear this kid - oh yes, a kid...he looked no older than 23 yrs old - say "Ow, ow, ow" and I lean over and tell him "Don't ever...EVER...grab a lady's ass unless you have her permission - understand?" So he leaves and I turn to tell my friends what happened.

Let me state that I am not at all upset that it happened, I was actually proud of myself because there have been times when you just stand and freeze and then you say "I shoulda, coulda, woulda" but now I can say that I did - and I freaking loved it.

OK - I Can't Hold It In Anymore!

2008-12-01T00:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day my ass is on a plane to Germany to see Kostas and meet his family!!!

And if that wasn't enough excitement - I was just asked to pick a city to go visit while I'm there:

PARIS, FRANCE or VENICE, ITALY

Maybe I've lived in Southern California for way too long because its hard for me to conceive that I can travel to another country in less than 2 hours. But now I have to pick between two beautiful cities! I've always wanted to go back to Paris but Venice is Venice!

Ok - I think I know - Venice. But wait...Paris!! No Venice...

DAMN!!! Help?

I Want Some Nutmeg!

2008-11-28T17:25:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching Stephen Colbert's "A Cobert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All" and I could not stop laughing! Willie Nelson as a Wise Man, Toby Keith as a hunter looking for deer with his AK-47, and Feist as an angel - all provide great back up to Stephen Colbert looking to get to his studio for his holiday special. I have to admit that John Legend as the park ranger was a great highlight. Below is his explaination, in song, as why Nutmeg is important.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T12:48:00.000-08:00

Every year, this holiday rolls around to remind us to stop and take note of the things we are thankful for and if we are able - to say Thanks. I think something that many people (including myself) are guilty of is taking things for granted; family, friends, or health.

I'm very thankful for all I have, my friends and family have shaped me to be who I am today by cheering with me for the good and supporting me through the bad - even if it means that they smack me on the head if I'm heading down the same road of repeating a mistake.

Take a moment and realize who or what you need to say thanks to. I, for one, am thankful for many, many things - especially my family and friends and I hope they know how much they mean to me.

Happy Turkey Day!

LOOK AT THE PRETTY COLORS!!

2008-11-21T02:28:00.000-08:00

Yup, I changed the style and colors of the blog. Don't get too excited for me, Blogger makes this very easy and its only a little cutting and pasting but I will take some credit in being able to manuever through this thing faster than I would have 4 years ago.

I have to admit this does make me feel like I've gotten a haircut that I really like and haven't gotten to see the reactions of my friends so for as much as I may like it, I dont know if it actually looks good on me.

Comment below and let me know what you think. I see a couple things I might want to change but I need to sleep on it. This is too much excitement for one evening for me.

One of the Many Reasons Why I Don't Go Out Much

2008-11-20T23:15:00.000-08:00

Last night I picked up Jake for a little dinner and some quality bonding time. Before dinner, we were going to go by this townhouse to check out as a possible new domicile. We arrive and its completely dark but I decide to go up to it to see if we can see inside a bit. Jake, the scaredy cat, is against it of course and tells me that I shouldn't go because "he doesn't want me to get into trouble" but you know me, I go anyways and he tags along. I try to look inside but there is some tint on the window that restricts my view. I notice there isn't any tint on the top of the window so I pick Jake up to look into the townhouse to see how it looks inside. He peers in and says "Wow it looks really nice! Its a good size and has a pretty rug." "Rug? Don't you mean carpet?" I ask. "No, the rug next to the sofa." Jake replies. Holy shit- its not the empty apartment! So I put him down and tell him to do that only thing I can think of - run back to the car. We get inside and have a good laugh about it and head to dinner.

Now Jake has become a fan of places where you cook your own food, specifically Shabu Shabu. I really don't know what the thrill is for him but he likes it and its a blast. So we end up going to Korean BBQ and check how out how that is. With Shabu Shabu, you basically get a pot of water that you boil and cook your food in and with Korean BBQ, you sit at a table with a grill and cook your food that way. Let me say that Jake about lost his shit when he saw that it was a grill he was going to be doing the cooking on. After getting our food, we sit down and I really pay attention to the other patrons in the restaurant. In the booth behind Jake there are two women eating. The one who is facing me is wearing and eye patch over her eyebrow. Yes, you read that correctly. It was like she moved it to read something and never put it back. I found it terribly distracting and really wished that I had my camera to "take a fake picture of Jake but really take a picture of the weird person behind him" so I could share it but it was not to be. Now, behind me was a couple watching some basketball game and well, I dont know how to put this...they looked and acted like they were having some affair because everytime I looked over at them they were making out. And not even "a little kissy face" making out, I'm talking "tongue down each other's throat" making out - which prompted me to believe that the show Cheaters was going to walk through the front door at any time.

After going to Toys R Us, so Jake could redeem a gift card he received for his birthday, I dropped him off at his dad's for the night and headed home. If you look at the handy map below, purple is the route I usually take and red is the route I had to take due to some freeway construction.

I can roll with the punches of detours and pride myself on having a great sense of direction but for some reason all that failed on this trip home.

I was following some cars and a lot of cars started to turn left and so I assumed that they were going that way to get on the 710, which is where I needed to go. I made a mental note and followed the signs for the detour. I get to a major street and decided that I had had enough of the street driving and opted to get on the freeway. So I make a left and I drive...and drive...and I'm wondering 1) Where is the freeway and 2) Where the hell am I.

I look up in one of the intersections to get the street name and have two thoughts rather simutaneously 1) Holy Shit-I'm in Compton! and 2) My, Compton is not at all what I thought it would look like, because I was near a strip mall and I guess City Hall. When I got the Metro Blue Line, I figured that the best thing for me was to turn my ass around and get back on the street I was on and follow the signs to the 105. And thats exactly what I did.

As I was driving, I kind of laughed at myself for the 2nd reaction to being in Compton and thought how upsetting it must be to always get categorized as this haven for gang bangers and crime. Driving up Long Beach Blvd, I see a helicopter with a spotlight flying around. I notice that its coming towards me and getting lower. I finally get up to the area where its searching and see not one or two police cars but five cars blocking five different streets as a perimeter for the search. Always speaking too soon I guess.

Mars vs Venus

2008-11-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

Situation:
Plug a Wii into a monitor mounted to the wall on a wall mount.

Problem:
How to plug in the AV cables when the there isn't even enough room to see where the cables go.

Man's Solution:
Go online to find the specifications of the monitor, print them out and use them as a guide to find the plugs with his fingers and plug in the cables. Time invested: 45 minutes

Woman's Solution:
Borrow a compact from a co-worker to place behind the monitor and plug in the cables. Time invested: 3 minutes

They're The Dancers!

2008-11-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

I don't even know how to start this post because it can be told from so many angles! Chronological always works, so here goes.

Earlier this week, my coworker told me about this SNL skit that Justin Timberlake did with Beyonce about her video for her song "Single Ladies" and how she couldn't get the song out of her head. Sometime over the past year, I have completely fallen off the radar when it comes to popular music. It took me 4 months to get around to actually listening to Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl". So when she was saying that she couldn't get the tune out of her head, I really couldn't sympathize.

Last night, I went on a website and found a link to this video that has some guy thats famous on the net for doing something and some how ended up on the Bonnie Hunt show. I found it to be hilarious. I decided to search the net for the JT skit and only found this little mashup and nothing else. Sure it was kind of a teaser but I wanted to see the whole thing! I kind of gave up on the search and hoped that NBC would eventually post it on their site.

Tonight I get home and find a link to another video that parodies Beyonce's song. This link is to "Single Ladies (Big Girl Remix)" Its even more fabulous than what you think it might be. I didnt think my night could get better until...

I feel like I found the Holy Grail!!!

Update: Yes, apparently someone took the video down. DAMN!

Harry vs Chandler

2008-11-19T00:14:00.000-08:00

I was channel surfing and came across a Friend's episode where Phoebe has her brother's triplets and then Joey ends up trying to pass some kidney stones.

Even though I had seen this episode before, something about it was rather familiar and then I remembered! There was an episode of Night Court where Mac's wife goes into labor and he ends up in the hospital with appendicitis at the same time.

This little flashback wouldn't have been possible without last week's episode of 30 Rock. Thank you Tina Fey!

Learning the Rules of the Street

2008-11-18T21:15:00.000-08:00

Last week, close to the end of my workday, my co-worker calls me that she has a flat tire down the street and if I could go help her. She was within walking distance and I started to head over there. As soon as I turn the corner, I find myself looking at this:

First, it was something I had no expectation of seeing - at all. She asked me to come help her with the tire so I had assumed she would be waiting for me and well, we are in Hollywood. People help one another in Hollywood? So I go up to her and ask if she's ok and she gives me this look that she is fine but that I wasn't allowed to leave her. So I stayed.

This guy starts talking to us and I offer to help him get the car up with the jack because he is having trouble turning it. He waves me off and starts huffing and puffing yet again. I had noticed that he had a big duffle bag next to him in the street and figured that he was homeless. Immediately wondered if I had any cash to give him in case Denise didn't. I had $2.

After a while, the man asks if I could help him get the jack going because he was getting tired. Now this jack is one of those annoying jacks that the bar has a pivot in the middle because you can only go from one side to the other and then switch the bar back to do it again. What was worse was that we weren't level with the car or the jack, we were sitting on the curb. So bent over and trying to turn that bar was not the most comfortable thing to be doing.

As we are tag teaming the jack, people keep coming up to us and asking us if we need help. The guy (and yes I will continue to refer to him as The Guy because we never got his name) kept waving them off with thanks. We finally get the tire off and are having trouble getting the spare on when I smell the distinct odor of the mary jane. Its was like a cloud just arrived over our heads. We turn and there is this guy hovering over us asking if we need help. The Guy (our guy) turns and basically lashes out at Mr. Mary Jane. Saying "I know you, dont think I dont remember what happened yesterday, I saw you following her!" Mr. Mary Jane looks at him and says, "Dude I'm just trying to help" and The Guy yells back "We dont want you here! Go away!" Um, yeah it was freaky weird.

At that moment, Denise and I probably had the exact same thought. "Were we this homeless man's property?" And then I wondered how fast I could bring this car down after we tightened the lugnuts on the spare that we still had to get on. He told us that the day before he had seen Mr. Mary Jane following some woman and he followed them to make sure that she got to wherever she was going safely. At that point, Denise got down on the curb and in one shot got the spare on. No lie.

After The Guy tightens the lugnuts, he asked if I could get the car down. Yes, I realize that I'm doing half the work that this guy is going to claim the win on. So I'm bringing the car down and he asks Denise if she's my mom. Now, Denise is 3 years older than I am and earlier that day we got confused for sisters (its the curly hair and glasses). We had joked that we should create some elaborate story that we were long lost relatives or something - so this came with an extra shock. We had a good chuckle as I double timed the bringing down of the car, of course he flies in at the last minute to "wrap it up". He gets up and we thank him for the help. He says that he was happy to do so since God had asked him to help. Denise hands him $5 and apologizes for not having any more. He thanks us once again and turns to leave. I turn to Denise and ask her for a ride back to the office and we couldnt stop laughing all the way back to the office.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKEMAN!!!

2008-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

Not only has election day come and gone but that also means that my little pumpkin's birthday has arrived. Today - the Jakeman turns 7. Watching your child's birthday arrive is a very bittersweet moment at times. On the one hand, you are watching child grow into the person they are meant to be and you are there nurturing, guiding, and beaming with pride. On the other, they are turning into the person they are and the sarcasm comes out when you sing happy birthday to them and they say "Thanks mom, but you know you are never going to be on American Idol right?"

Thanks kid - you done make me proud!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKEY!!!

Si Se Puede!

2008-11-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

Sen. Barack Obama has won the Presidency of the United States of America!

I cannot tell you how proud and overwhelmed I am to be an American citizen on this day. I always hoped that I would be able to see the day that a minority would hold the office of the President.

If you didn't believe in the change and the hope this man offers, please watch the video of his speech in Chicago after they have announced him as the winner. I felt as if I was a part of that crowd and I was saying "YES WE CAN!"

History In The Making!

2008-11-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

I hope you voted and I hope you are glued to your tv or internet watching the returns.

Whoa!

2008-11-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

I swear, for the first minute of this trailer I thought this was a new movie coming out. Nope its a video game.

One More Push

2008-11-03T20:39:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Election Day!

History will happen tomorrow - either the first African-American man will be elected as the President or a women will be elected as Vice-President. If you believe in superstitions - Obama will win because the Redskins lost tonight.

I was telling my friend that I was thinking about having an Election party to watch the returns and she said "oh like an Oscar party?". Well duh! We have our own ballots to mark off the winner and have little American flags to wave - doesnt that sound like a kick ass party? I, for one, will be getting some chinese food and watching the returns until I'm about to pass out from exhaustion or excitement. I realize that we will probably have to wait a few days to get the official winner but its still great to sit back and watch it all unfold in front of you.

If you are a registered voter, please go out and have your voice heard! As for mine, I'll be voting for Obama and No on 8.

My Pippi-licious Day

2008-10-31T19:49:00.000-07:00

Oh where do I begin? I guess at the beginning is as good of a place as any.

My Halloween costume this year was Pippi Longstocking. Now, knowing me, I started planning this costume about a week ago and had to do some initial preparation. The two major portions of my planning were my dress and how I was going to get my braided hair to stick out. After a successful trip to the Goodwill store - I was done with my dress only having to add a few details. Next was the task of figuring out how to get my hair to do what it needed to do. I used a suggestion from a coworker to add some coat hangers to a headband and VOILA! Pippi braids are born!

This morning I get up early to get ready. I put the headband with wires on and a funny thing happened. I couldnt walk through the doorways in my apartment. I found this to be really hilarious and the hilarity ensued when I tried to paint my hair red with some costume hairspray out in my back patio...alone...using one mirror...and trying not to get much on myself. On to the rest of the costume - with the hair finished, the freckles added, the pirate hat on - I was on my way to work. Until I get to my car and I dont fit in my car because of the hat and the hair is hindering...well everything. I couldn't stop laughing that I had to call Kostas to share.

I arrive at work and my coworker can't stop laughing at me. And I mean anytime I walk by her desk she is cracking up. It was pretty funny actually. And this is what she was laughing at:

In the picture, you can't really tell how the headband and the wires are but let me tell you that the wires are kind of digging into my scalp and its hurting a whole hell of a lot. So much so that I had to stick little pieces of fabric underneath the wire in my hair. There was a lot of stuff going on at work, the pinnacle being our company event and costume contest (where I won Best Look-A-Like). After work, I headed straight home because 1) my head was hurting and 2) my feet were KILLING me.

I make myself dinner and sit down to relax. That is, until there was a knock at my door. I have to state that I made it a point not to turn on the light. So I get up and there are the kids asking for candy. I let them know that I didn't have any and closed the door. About 3 minutes later, another knock at the door - same routine. I'm digging into my chicken and veggies when KNOCK KNOCK...I open again and there they are - again! I bit my tongue and apologized for not having candy. I sit and get settled when KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. This time I wasnt holding back. I opened the door and they are yelling "TRICK OR TREAT!!!" And I say - "If the light isnt on - you do not knock for candy! Learn the rules!" and then I proceed to shut the door rather hard.

Here is the best part of all that - I posted "Do kids know the basic rule of Trick or Treating? If the light is OFF there is NO CANDY! I just enlightened a few 10 yr olds." on my Facebook/Myspace/Twitter accounts. I know that I have sarcastic friends but damn Gina! Maybe I was being a bit over sensitive but I thought it was funny after I realized what I had done and now people are saying that I was being mean! I almost started posting comment after comment justifying my "rudeness". Don't get me wrong - I posted a little something but I was still a little annoyed by it all.

Now - Halloween is all but over and all I have left to remind me of the day is a gift certificate for a massage and two sore feet. Happy Halloween!!

Attack of the Zombies

2008-10-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

A while back, I had to have a talk with Jake about some confusion he had over the Thriller dance. After he watch the actual Thriller video, Jake was hooked on Michael Jackson. Over the weekend, there was an event at the Hollywood and Highland complex called "Thrill The World" and I was going to try my best to get Jake there to see it.

Thrill The World is an annual worldwide simultaneous dance of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance. This year they had 4,177 people in 72 cities in 10 nations participating. Just so you know, that is a world record!

So there we are, arriving JUST in time to watch it all go down. I have to say that I was actually planning to participate but opted out at the last minute. Oh but how I regretted it that day.

Click here to see the performance at Hollywood and Highland but I opted to post the video from the San Francisco event because nothing says scary zombie like dancing in your roller skates.

If you are interested in seeing videos from other cities, go here! I dare not to want to do that dance afterwards :P

Adding Another Reader To The Blogroll

2008-10-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

A great big CONGRATULATIONS to Kerry and Natalie on the birth of their new son, Jack.

Welcome to the club!

Pluck and Blow

2008-10-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

While interviewing Wynton Marsalis on the latest episode of the Colbert Report, they showed a very short clip of Stephen Colbert playing a saxophone with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar playing a double bass. Yes, I did a double take and then a few minutes of some internet searching and VOILA! I find the original clip where they pulled it from.

The best laugh I had all day. Enjoy...

Whew! Thought It Was Just Me...

2008-10-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

One day, after watching an episode of "Two and a Half Men" (don't judge me) I noticed that one of the slides at the end of the episode had a little bit more writing than usual. With the magic of TiVo, I paused the screen to see a slide from Chuck Lorre Productions. It was something like this (its not exactly this but I picked this one because its funny):

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #111*

This is the official "I have nothing worth writing about" vanity card. It will run whenever I have nothing worth writing about. Don't be surprised to see it quite a bit. From now on, when our schedule requires me to deliver a new card and I'm empty, I'll simply say, "Run one eleven." A check of the one hundred and ten cards I've already written will quickly demonstrate that I should have written this card a long time ago. Why didn't I? Vanity. I had become vain about my vanity cards. I was determined to write a new one each week because, well... I'm just that kind of guy. But I'm older and wiser now. I know when I have nothing to say. And that knowledge is freedom. Freedom from the constant need to win your approval. And more importantly, freedom from the obsessive and relentless need to end each vanity card on a joke. The Electoral College.*

1st Aired: 8 Nov 2004

I have to admit that on the one hand I'm so happy I found these Vanity Cards because they are so funny and on the other hand I'm sooo pissed off at myself that I had never seen them before! Its like my tv is giving me this look...the exact same look that I pictured my brother giving me when I told him I discovered "This American Life". That look goes something like this:

New Blog of Note!

2008-10-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Jessica tweeted about this blog called "Sad Guys on Trading Floors". I just spent the past 30 minutes laughing my ass off.

Attempts to Recover

2008-10-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

I really don't like the randomness that viruses hit people. Colds, flu, stomach flu...its all so whatever. When it comes to me though, I've noticed that I'm losing my voice a lot more frequently than I used to. Which actually isn't that bad when you are at home alone. However, it does become a pain when people are calling you to check up on you and you really dont have the energy (or voice) to have any sort of conversation other than "Hi, I'm sick, ok, uh-huh, ok, bye". Kostas sent me this awesome e-card that pretty much sums up what I've come to realize what sick days are, days to "Eat, Sleep, and Relax"

In that spirit, I made a hamburger soup on Saturday afternoon and have had enough left over to feed me all weekend.

I've relaxed by watching the movies below:
Season 2 of 30 Rock - I swear that show is so funny, if you haven't started watching it, I highly recommend it.
Smart People - it took awhile for me to get into the movie but when I pulled back I finally got into it. I liked it but didnt love it.
Victor/Victoria - Ok I've seen this movie about 20 times and the ending always cracks me up.
The Squid and the Whale - Yeah...I tried to watch it with the "its an independent film" and thought maybe I wasnt "smart" enough to get it. I got it and did not like it. I liked what they tried to do with it but above all I didnt like the characters, I hated the father (especially) and the older son. I always feel that if I cant cheer for the characters, there is no point to watch the movie.
Stranger Than Fiction - I've seen this movie before and always end up watching it when its on cable. I just really enjoy it and its one of those movies I always forget to buy when I see it in the store.
Dan in Real Life - This was on my Netflix queue and I saw it on cable and jumped on the chance to see it. The funny thing is that I thought Catherine Keeler was in this movie and kept waiting for her to come out. Movie ended and no Catherine! I know that its my own mini dorkiness but since its my blog I figured I shared. By the way, I really liked the movie.

Since there were times when channel surfing was the only thing to watch, I ended up catching the finales of the following movies:
Enchanted - This is one of those movies that I was happy to have a child to drag to. It's cute enough to make me cry (lets be real, when don't I cry) and campy enough to make me laugh.
Dirty Dancing - I gotta say, this was one of those moments where I actually said "Oh! Oh! Oh!" I turned to the movie right when Johnny says "No one puts Baby in the corner!"
Philadelphia - I turned to the movie right after the verdict was given. Well, if you've seen the movie you know what happens. :(

On top of all that movie goodness, I also finished a scarf and started making a hat. I've never made a hat, so lets see how this sucker comes out. Lets cross our fingers people!

Weekend Update

2008-10-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Nothing like heading into a beautiful weekend with a sore throat and no energy.

Note to My Brother

2008-10-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

I found it!!! The best deterrent for mom...

Me: So mom, what do you think of the sign in my window?
Mom: Oh yes, I saw it. I almost didnt come in.
Me: Well, that was kind of the point.
Dad: Ha!

Talking Politics

2008-10-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

I got my sample ballot today. I can't tell you how excited I am about receiving it. Its like the countdown has officially begun. I've already made my decision about some of the races and measures. But others, I still have some research to do until I can render my verdict.

I have to admit that I've never been so riveted and so vocal about any election as I am with this one; so much so that I'm actually considering being a poll worker this election day. Yes, 4 years ago I walked around a VERY Republican workplace saying how Bush was the WORST choice and was met with angry jeers and not-so-nice retorts. Today, I'm surrounded by many, many of my fellow Dems and sit back and watch most of Republicans and undecideds the drink this Palin worship inducing kool aid and ask myself - WHY?!?!?! WHY are you guys buying this BULLSHIT?!?!?

Here was my defining moment with Dubya and why I dislike, distrust, and disrespect him: if he were to envoke the draft to supply the military personnel to fight the war he ILLEGALLY launched, would he allow his daughters to go? The answer is no! He would send them off somewhere where they would evade the draft! He would hide behind some policy and yet force other families to send their children, siblings, or parents off to war. Some may say "Well, it was really Dick Cheney and Karl Rove pulling the strings" Really? You REALLY think that the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES would allow himself to be hoodwinked?!?!? I don't think so. Thats my major sticking point (among many, many points) with Dubya.

Now, I actually respect the fact that McCain served in the military. I respect that he was in the House of Representatives for 4 years and then has been a Senator for 20 years. No doubt he has a plethera of experience and knowledge to share. He's promoting himself as a Maverick (take a shot people!) which may be true because he has always been on the brink of walking away from the Republican party. Thats not being a Maverick, thats being not committed. I think that this year was his "turn". Four years ago, he got pushed out of the race because of a smear campaign by Dubya. By the way, where is Dubya's support? Oh yes...they dont want him around. More harm than good. If you can't trust your own party who can you trust right? By the way - are you aware that most of Bush's advisors are moving over to McCain's campaign? (p/s he needs to stop calling me his friend - me no likey)

Enter Sarah Palin. Palin has been great comedy fodder for, well everyone. She promotes herself to be one of us. Someone who Americans can relate to and therefore should vote for her because one of us will be in the White House. First of all, she is not like me. HELL NO. I don't know about any of you but I dont want someone like me in the White House! I want someone smarter, a more creative thinker, more decisive, and many things that I want my LEADER to be. Someone who can fix the economy, not have issues like I have with my checkbook and impulsive spending. I don't want her representing what I believe in because we DO NOT believe in the same things. Equality, Reproductive Rights, Protecting the Environment...should I continue?

Now Joe Biden. I just have to say that Joe Biden reminds me of that uncle that I would run to if I was in a shitload of trouble and needed help fast. He would listen to me ramble about what happened then help as best he could. Thats a man I want supporting my President!

Have you figured out who I'm voting for? If its still not clear, here is a little something I picked up last weekend and is sitting in my apartment window.

Go out this November 4th and exercise your right to vote!

The Un-Lucky Burger Joint

2008-10-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

There is this burger place down the street that I've been wanting to try for a while now. I drive by it at least 3 times a week but never stop. Why? Well, thats the funny thing. I never have any interest in getting something at any time. Then why the curiousity to try? For the sake of trying.

Tonight I couldn't decide on what to have for dinner. It was too late to make anything at home and I wasnt in the mood to buy anything from my usual fast food joints (can I get an amen for Taco Bell?!?). I figured I would just go for it.

That was a complete and utter failure.

I ordered chili nachos because I'm dying to find a place where I can find chili nachos that remind me of the days of yore when I would watch my dad coach soccer when I was a kid. Its been 20 years!! You would think I would have found it already!

One of the Strangest Things I've Ever Seen

2008-10-05T09:44:00.001-07:00

Hanging out with some friends last night, we saw this commercial come on the tv.

I cannot tell you how creepy I find this commercial. I mean really? As irresistable as chocolate? I get the concept but its really REALLY creepy that this guy is tearing his limbs off and melting his body parts. And dont get me started on the girls that bites the guy's ass.

Truth time - is it creepy or is it just me?

Weekend Plans

2008-10-04T09:40:00.001-07:00

This is how I want to be all weekend:

Doubtful it will happen considering the Dodgers are playing the Cubbies tonight in game 3. I'll be too busy jumping up and down cheering for my boys in blue.

Its Effing Hot!

2008-10-01T23:34:00.000-07:00

Ok - when did the summer start again? I'm sitting on my bed with the window wide open and the fan on and I'm still sweating.

WTF?!?!?

I hate when mother nature says "See - I told you people to carpool!"

Innneresting...

2008-09-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

I was channel surfing and came across and episode of How Its Made about maxi pads. Can I just state that I'm strangely intrigued?

Now its concrete pipes. Kind of not as interesting - I must say.

Tina Fey is Awesome!

2008-09-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Tina Fey returned to her roots at SNL to do the opening skit as Sarah Palin and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton. If you haven't seen it or want to see it again - click below.

This weekend, Tina Fey reprised her role as Sarah Palin in a "recreation" of her interview with Katie Couric (Amy Poehler). Can I just say brilliant? The thing is if you watched the actual interview - this parody is not that far off in how Palin answered Couric's questions.

I hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for these performances.

A Whirlwind of a Week

2008-09-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

Last week started like any other except for one thing - a countdown had begun. My Greek was leaving to visit family to Germany and was going to be gone for a few months. Yes, you read months and not weeks. Which is one of the reasons I haven't really been updating this thing.

Its funny how denial works. He kept saying that he was leaving but I wasn't hearing it. I knew he had the tickets, but the date seemed so far away. Not until he was saying good-bye to my parents and Jake did I realize that this was actually happening. And for those of you that know me - I did react emotionally to it.

Last Wednesday, some spontaneity kicked in and we decided to see Wicked at the Pantages. Can I just say - WOW! It was a great show and I look forward to going again before they leave Los Angeles. I have to admit that I will never really see The Wizard of Oz movie again the same way. In the show/book, it explains what happened before Dorothy showed up and the musical really gave The "Wicked" Witch of the West this endearing personality. I'm not going to get into the details because 1) you can look it up if you want and 2) I don't want to spoil it for anyone. Let's just say that I had a few "no shit!" and "A-ha!" moments in the Pantages. And lets not forget a couple of times that the hairs on my arms stood up because of the great performance of Teal Hicks as Elphaba (The Wicked Witch of the West) and Erin Mackey as Galinda (Glinda the Good).

The rest of the week seemed to be a lot of running around on its own - but with a great added twist. My old HS buddy Kelena was dropping by for a visit. It was weird trying to be a good hostess to her and try to be a good gf to Kostas while he got ready for his trip. Lucky for me, Kelena only needed a bed and a set of my apartment keys to feel right at home. ;-) I was very happy to have been able to spend time with her while she was in town; even though it was mostly in our pj's. And no - we did not have any sort of pillow fight while she was here. Pervs.

My Father, The Hero

2008-09-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Last year, I bought a couch from Levitz - an experience a part of me felt I would forget and only remember with warm memories because of the new piece of furniture I received.

A few months ago, I noticed to notice that one part of the couch felt differently from the other. I thought I was only me until Kostas started making comments about it too. Because Levitz furniture filed for bankruptcy about 6 months ago - my warranty went out the window. Honestly, I have just come to accept that this is how it is and will buy a new couch sometime next year.

Enter my father.

If you don't know my father - the man can fix ANYTHING and in the most creative ways ever. We have this little game we play, when something breaks in my apartment I pretend to fix it or pretend to not have a solution and TA-DA instant handyman. The man even brings me extra tools so he has them here to fix things. Through the course of some conversation, I make a comment about the broken couch.

At this moment, he has the couch on its side with pieces all over my living room floor claiming victory in finding the root of the problem.

Of All The Freaking Frakking...

2008-09-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

After a whole week of not having my car...after almost reaching my limit with the whole public transportation system..

It was not the starter - it was the battery!

I could have fixed the car!!!

DAMMIT.

My Mom Is A Panther!!!!

2008-09-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

A Case of the Mondays

2008-09-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

I had this feeling this morning that I shouldn't get up for work. I fought the feeling and went in. Overall the day was good...until I went to my car. Now a couple of weeks ago, I got to my car and found one of the tires flat.

Today - the starter died.

I had opted to stay late, to wait for the traffic to die down - go figure. So by the time all this happened, most of the coworkers heading in my direction had already gone home. Off to the metro I go!

To get home, I take the Metro to downtown LA and then get off on one stop that has all of the buses that pass down the street from my place. I get on the bus and am happily entertained with my Scrabble on my iPod. All of a sudden, I look up and see this on one of the monitors in the bus.

This has to be the worst thing I have ever seen! Do they feel because we are trapped we have to be subjected to this crap? I have to make sure my iPod is properly charged for the trip into the office tomorrow morning.

Got Themselves Some New Fans!

2008-09-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was great day my friends...a great day.

Kostas, Jake, and I went to go see some amatuer Sumo wrestling at the LA Sports Arena. I walked in with the intent of having a good time and I walked out with stories to tell for years to come.

I have no idea where to start! We arrived at venue when the doors opened and we got GREAT seats. The first portion of the program was the qualifying rounds for the three weight classes competing that day; lightweight (weight up to 187 lbs), middleweight(weight up to 253lbs), and heavyweight (weight over 253 lbs). In case you dont know the rules of sumo, its pretty simple.

The winner of a sumo bout is either:
The first wrestler to force his opponent to step out of the ring or the first wrestler to force his opponent to touch the ground with any part of his body other than the bottom of his feet.

There must have been about 30 people in our section and about 70 people total in the arena when the qualifiers started - so when we screamed or heckled...it was heard by everyone. The lightweights were up first and we all decided to cheer on Art. Lets take a gander at Art's profile picture in the program:

What cracked me up the most was that he would have to take his glasses off before getting into the ring. Unfortunately, he didn't qualify but we will get back to him during the OPEN WEIGHT competition. And if you think that sounds like fun, you are getting ahead in the story!

After we got warmed up with the lighweights, we moved onto the middleweights. The middleweights brought us more bouts and well...here we go. Lets start with James.

This is James:

James is 55 years young and quite the sumo wrestler. He was the oldest competitor and a nice guy I must say. Just so you all know, he is also "The Rope Master".

Guy #2 to speak of is Mark. Oh Mark. When we first arrived we saw this guy warming up in the ring. Now...most of the non-heavyweight wrestlers wore biker shorts or something underneath their mawashi (the official name of the diaper that Jacob found out from a security guard and kept correcting me because he got sick of his mother embarassing him). But not Mark! Oh no..Mark went against the grain and let it all hang out. On top of that he had this way of walking around that was really funny. Here is a quick picture of Mark and his greatness. Mark is the guy in the middle with the pony tail. The way he is standing is the way he walks.

After a few qualifying bouts we get to the heavyweights! I have to say that I was pretty impressed as to how many Americans there are wrestling. Another thing I noticed was this spiffy move that I named "The Wiley Coyote" where they would be pushing on one another like below and then it would seem like they would take a step back to get their breath and then they would charge - one would get out of the way and then the other guy would get out of bounds and lose. I dont know about you, but that made me laugh everytime because I thought, "Why didnt the guy know he was going to do that?!?!"

So after the Final rounds, the wrestlers were hanging around waiting for the Open Weight competition to start. This allowed some fans to get up close and meet some of them. Including me...

After the Kodak moment, the Open Weight competition was about to begin and we snagged some seats about 4 rows from the stage. That gave us a great opportunity to watch the action up front. The Open Weight competition is very different from the regular weight competitions because anyone in any weight can compete against one another. So yes, someone from the lightweight category can be drawn to compete against a heavyweight. And yes, it did happen and yes...it was quite hilarious - even Jake got a little mad.

Ah yes - sitting really close you get all the action. The slapping! The grunting! Seeing too much of the wrestler's inside thighs...(shudder)

If we had to endure it in person, you all have to suck it up and see it too! I took that picture specifically for this blog. You are welcome! :)

Another thing that we noticed was that these guys all seemed to be friends. This was evident in the Open Weight competition between Siosifa (heavyweight) and Art (lightweight). And yes, that is my laughing and screaming on the tape.

The best moment of the day has to go to Mark - remember him? Yes...well this video captures the essence of the day for him I believe. As Kostas said, "He seems like he's the guy no one likes."

Truly one of my favorite moments when he ran away. If I wasnt recording I probably would have fallen on the ground from all the laughing.

All in all - a great freaking day people! I highly recommend going to one of these things if you get the chance.

Hiatus Over!

2008-09-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I haven't been posting but I'm back now. Just got to get my shizz together to get some posts up.

More to come...

Best Commercial Award

2008-08-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I've seen a commercial on TV and ran immediately to my laptop to try to find it. This one is for the video game Mercenaries 2. I'm going to be humming the song all week long!

Go Fax Yourself

2008-08-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

Today was errand day.

Get passport - Check!
Renew Driver's License - Check!
Get Jake's school physical done - Check!
Pull my hair out because no one was listening to me - Check!

So everything went relatively well until I got to Jake's doctor's appointment rolled around. I had cleaned my car last weekend (yes, I know - please contain your shock) and apparently I threw out the form that the doctor had to sign for the new school that Jake will be attending. I called the school and asked the receptionist if it would be possible for her to fax that form to the doctor's office so I could get it taken care of. She was very nice and all I needed was the fax number. You'd think it would have been that easy.

I get to the doctor's office and because we had the first appointment after lunch, we immediately get called in. I tell the nurse weighing Jake and taking his blood pressure that I need the fax number. "Sure, no problem - I'll be right back." Not two minutes later, the doctor walks in. On the one hand - wow, that was quick...on the other, I still need the fax number. I get the 3rd degree about how his medical records don't have his immunization records.

Here is were some history is needed. Jake had all his immunizations done before we moved back to LA. I have a copy of his shots and as does his new school; also, midway through his shots I lost the yellow card thingy so I go off of this print out that his old pediatrician gave me. So I gave this copy of his shots to this new doctor's office when they were located down the street from me about 3 years ago. About a year ago, they moved offices and when patients started to go there, they just created new files. They never brought over the old files; I repeat - THEY NEVER BROUGHT OVER THE OLD FILES. Back to the story...

So I'm getting the 3rd degree and I'm trying to tell the doctor that they already have the records and she's asking me for the yellow card thingy. I'm trying to tell her that I dont have it and why should I if they already have his record. You know that story I typed out up there? I told it to her...again.

She calls a nurse to go look for the record - I suggest that I can probably get the school to fax me if I, oh get the fax number. The doctor insists that they will find it. I know that they wont because its the original reason why I gave them the hard copy from the other office. The nurse comes back in to tell the doctor that she can't find it and the doctor proceeds to tell me that maybe she would need the hard copy. I said - sure...give me the fax number so I can call the school to have them fax it over. The doctor says ok and proceeds to complete the physical. She asks me if I want Jake to have a hearing test - I say fine. Which, by the way, I find extremely funny since I had been asking for the damn fax number for 20 minutes and no one had heard me. We go back in the room and I decide I've had enough. I take out my cell phone and call the front desk of the office I'm in to ask for the fax number. I finally get it and I call the school to have them fax the pediatrician's report form and the immunization record - they say no problem.

After the hearing test, I go to the receptionist and ask if the fax had arrived and she said no. Now, because the parking complex's credit card machine was down, I had to find an ATM in order to get my car out. I figured we could stall some time by going to get money for the parking fees. We get back and still no fax. I call the school and they said they sent it but they will try again. The receptionist checks the fax machine, gives me an alternate number and we try this again.

The receptionist mercifully asks for the school's phone number and says she would take care of it so we won't have to wait around for it, an hour after my our appointment originally ended.

Oh Bela!

2008-08-15T07:46:00.001-07:00

Staying up until 1am this morning was well worth watching the American gymnasts, Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson, earn the gold and silver medals (respectively) in Women's All-Around competition. But, as if that wasnt enough, NBC showed Bela Karolyi's reaction to Liukin's floor exercise.

I highly suggest you click here and watch the video. I dont know what I like more...the pure joy in Bela's commentary or Bob Costas's reaction to getting a hug from him. Classic!

p/s They got the video from a website called Awful Announcing, which if my prediction is correct (and I'm usually about 98% right) is going to be Derry's new website. Just sayin'

Can't Hurt...

2008-08-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

I came across this funny picture again and figured that posting it might change my luck. I've had a couple of bad days. Nothing like being blasphemous to change the tide.

Meet The New Roomie

2008-08-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, Jake won a goldfish at a little carnival at Port's O'Call. It was at that game where you throw the ping pong ball and if it lands in the goldfish bowl - FREE FISH! What amazes me more than Jake actually winning is that the damn fish is still alive.

So we brought the fish home and needless to say, I was unprepared for a new pet. So improvised...

I have to admit that I really didnt think that the fish was going to last more than a week. But...after a few weeks - I figured he deserved some better digs.

Welcome home Travis Pastranafish!

Olympic Caption Contest

2008-08-11T10:53:00.000-07:00

I dont think that Michael Phelps and the rest of the US swim team appreciates the President and the First lady playing "I squish your head" while they are competing - I'm just sayin'.

Olympic Caption Contest part deux

2008-08-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

If the President stays in China for all of the Olympics, I doubt that I will have to come up with anything on my own for this blog.

Begging For A Caption Contest

2008-08-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Its Like God Doesn't Want Me To See John Travolta In Drag

2008-08-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

For the life of me, I cannot watch "Hairspray" with John Travolta and Queen Latifah. I have tried over and over and it never works out. I didn't get a chance to see it in the theater because of one thing or another. The someone gave me a copy on DVD, that never worked. Now, I got it on Netflix to watch it this weekend and it wont play on my DVD player! I figured I would try to get it to run on my computer and watch it on this thing and so far nothing. I at least got it to run to see the previews and I even got to the menu page, but then I clicked on PLAY MOVIE and nada.

Sigh...I may have to wait until it comes out on cable. Might as well at this point, I've been trying to play this movie for 30 minutes; whats a few more weeks?

THE SUMMER OLYMPICS ARE HERE!!!

2008-08-09T00:32:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!!

I just finished watching the Opening Ceremony. As an overall review it was amazing and I mean - AMAZING! I was pretty much speechless throughout most of the ceremony but, there are a few things that I want to point out.

1) The drummers at the beginning - HOLY SHIT! I was riveted...just riveted!

2) The moving boxes - I kept wondering if it was mechanical or human creating the movement.

3) How many effing countries are there in this world? I was tivoing the ceremony so I couldnt change the channel and I didnt want to watch something else because I didnt want to miss anything. The order of the countries seemed random because the countries were entering based on the number of strokes in the characters of their names in Mandarin. By the way - there were 204 countries.

4) I have to find a screenshot of when President Bush was checking his watch during the ceremony - that was classic!

5) There was a little boy walking with Yao Ming who survived the earthquake and went back to save a couple of his classmates after he was rescued because "he was a safety monitor and it was his job". I think it got a little dusty in here... Side note: how tiny does this 9 year old seem next to Yao? Makes me giggle everytime I see this picture.

6) The lighting of the Olympic flame at the stadium. WOWIE. I thought it was going to be hard to match the OMGness of Barcelona's lighting of the flame:

BUT...this one was quite unexpected and really did keep up with what was presented in the rest of the program. I'm not adding anything more because I don't want to rob the experience away from anyone. So you should go watch it yourselves.

On top of all that, I was enjoing some running commentary over on Yahoo!'s sport blog called "Fourth Place Medal". Seriously - its how I survived the 204 country parade.

Sick Day

2008-08-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

Its kind of pathetic where there are three things that are giving you great joy while dealing with a head cold.

Crocheting a Granny Square Purse
Watching Season 2 of The West Wing
Hitting refresh on People's home page so I can see the baby pictures of Brad and Angelina's babies.

Sad part is that I'm kind of mad that they aren't posted yet.

Happy Friday!

2008-08-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

I swear, this was a great way to start the day.

Unnecessary Use of the Thesaurus

2008-07-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

I have officially started reviewing the 439 resumes for the receptionist position we have available in our company. I have to admit that one of the favorite things to do in my job is looking at these things. I cannot tell you how many times I've saved resumes and cover letters because they crack me up, but I digress. I came across this sentence in one of the resumes that gave me pause...

"Franking outgoing mail, distribution of mail, running office errands and handling all messenger requests."

Franking...Franking?

My first reaction is to ask Kerry what the hell franking means. Then I chose to look it up on UrbanDictionary.com. I don't think this is what the person wanted the word to mean in the sentence:

A sexual action. It involves three men giving a woman a dirty snachez, a spiderman, and abe lincoln.

Then common sense kicks in and we chose to look it up in an actual dictionary:

To place a stamp or mark on (a piece of mail) to show the payment of postage.

Ahhhhh - well that's much better! Although, this gave Kerry a chance to kill some curiousity and find out a little bit more about Abraham Lincoln. Why do people share with me? WHY?!?!?

Who am I kidding - I love it.

What's A Little CH Amongst Friends?

2008-07-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

I was gloating to a friend about this purse I just finished making. Not only did I actually finish a project, but I also felted it!

What is felting you ask? Well, basically felting is the process of fusing the yarn fibers together to make stiches look fuzzy. Like this:

He says "Wow, add a ch and this conversation would have gotten really weird really fast." Of course that got me curious as to what he meant. He suggested that I look up what feltching was on UrbanDictionary.com. I did and quite frankly, I'm still a bit traumatized by that.

I don't think I can ever look at my pretty little purse the same way again.

Wet Balls

2008-07-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that getting guilted into a trip to the park at 8:45pm would result in a blog post, but it did.

We went to play a quick game of baseball, which in Jake's view consists of me pitching the ball to him and he hitting the ball as hard as he can so I can look like an idiot trying to get the ball back.

While I was standing at the plate, waiting for Jake to pitch the ball, I see a Golden Retriever getting closer and closer to us. I really didn't think much of it - mainly because Jake is doing his hysterical warm-up. Then the dog gets right up to Jake and sits in front of him. Now, my kid is not the best around dogs, I really don't know when or where he got his fear of dogs but he tends to tense up and puts out his hand to be smelled by the strange animal; not because he wants to be put at ease around the dog but because I'm usually standing there saying "LET THE DOG SMELL YOU!!!".

Anyways, he's standing there one hand out to be smelled and the other hand with his baseball glove on and the ball in it. What do you think the dog does? Yup, he snakes the ball. I found this be rather hysterical and only because Jake was a bit distraught that this dog just stole his ball that I did not fall down onto the grass and roll around laughing. Don't misunderstand that I didn't laugh - oh yes, I most definitely did. So as I'm laughing, Jake is chasing the dog across the park and he wants to take the ball away but doesn't want to piss off the dog by taking it away. I manage to stop laughing long enough to ask the owner to get the ball back. While he's scolding his dog in Mandarin - he returns our ball...full of slobber.

Now imagine that happening two more times and that my friends...was our trip to the park.

Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is

2008-07-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

I did something today that I've never done before...I actually donated money to a political candidate. If you know me at all, then you know exactly who I gave my hard earned money to.

I'm very excited about the national convention coming up, not only because we are going to see history but because there is an opportunity of a lifetime for a few lucky people...

Support the Open Convention
At the Democratic National Convention next month, Barack will deliver his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 people at a free, open event in Denver, Colorado.

Make a donation of $5 or more between now and midnight on July 31st, and you could be one of 10 supporters chosen to meet Barack backstage and watch his acceptance speech in person.

Each of the 10 selected supporters can bring a guest, and will be flown to Denver to spend two days at the convention, culminating in Barack's speech on Thursday, August 28th.
Make a donation now and you could have a front row seat to history.

I may have to adjust my birthday plans and make my way to Colorado.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

2008-07-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I received a call from a Kings sales rep trying to sell me season tix for this upcoming year. I was ready to get back into the swing of things but I have to say that its been an emotional rollercoaster. Because he called me while I was in the middle of something, I told him exactly how I felt about the way the team is sort of in limbo at the moment, that the team has disappointed me year after year, and why in God's name would I spend all that money to watch them lose in person when I can do it for free at home. Yes, I said all those things to him. In addition, I also listed the pros and cons of making this decision.

My love for my team - PRO
The sense of being one with your fellow season ticket holder - PRO
No coach to speak of - CON
Cammy traded to Calgary- CON (even though he had no loyalty to Kings, he was still a player to watch - in my opinion)
Barbie is the penciled starting goalie? - CON
Visnosky traded to Edmonton - MAJOR CON

But this morning, I wake up to the news of a big PRO - Rob Blake has signed with San Jose. Holy shit! When I saw this crawl at the bottom of my tv screen as I was slowly waking up for the day I actually jumped out of bed to get my laptop to read the news. I haven't stayed quiet about the fact that I hated...HATED that the Kings resigned Blake after Luc retired. I knew in my gut it was only to appease the fans and giving them a name to cheer on. But he is an overpaid over the hill mediocre defenseman- he was great...WAS. Good riddance that he's gone to San Jose. The thing that I love about this is that the whole rebuilding thing that Lombardi wants to do is, yes good for the future, but he's forgetting to have the leadership now to mold these youngsters into a force to be reckoned with.

I'm going to ride out this season being a couch fan again this year. I'll stick to my plan of getting back into the season ticket realm next year. I already have a handful of games I have to get tickets for; Calgary, Edmonton (you know I'm a sucker for the Canadian national anthem) and we also we have to add Dallas to that list. Oh did I fail to mention that Avery signed with them? Yeah, let the ass kicking begin.

Playing Catch-Up With The Movie Reviews

2008-06-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

Its not like I've actually been going to the movies every week, but none the less...

Sex and The City - Contrary to SOMEONE'S opinion that this movie was going to blow, it didn't. For someone, like me, that LOVED the series - this movie hit the spot. It felt like I was watching 5 episodes all in a row. You bet your ass I'm going to add this one to my collection.

Waitress - I got this one courtesy of Netflix and I have to say that on the one hand, it was a cute movie on on the other hand, it kind of annoyed me. Nathan Fillion is sooo cute - but not as cute as he was as Captain Mal in Firefly (have you seen that series, omg you should). My favorite character turned out to be the director/writer of the movie who was murdered before the movie was chosen for Sundance. Very sad. Anyways, the movie had a moment that as a mom, I totally and completely related to. and thats all I'm saying about that.

Kung Fu Panda - It was entertaining...it truly had its moments. I can't really think of anything else about it because, frankly, I forgot that I actually saw this movie.

Wall-E - Ohhh Wall-E. I walked in with really high expectations and I think that what killed it for me. The movie is good and very entertaining (with a moral even!) and Wall-E as a character I LOVED him. BUT the story was just a little disjointed, it was like they tried to put too much into. And yes....I cried while waching this cartoon but I dont care! You would understand if you got to know Wall-E too. I have to give this movie a 2nd shot.

Silence Never Sounded So Good

2008-06-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

A new reality series premiered tonight called "I Survived A Japanese Gameshow". I have to admit that I have a sweet spot for shows where I cheer for these people to fail for my enjoyment; we all know my love for Ninja Warrior - right? Well, this new show isn't the greatest, but it has it moments. The weak part is that its an elimination show like Survivor and not a weekly competition show where you get a new batch of contestants every week. So on a certain level, you have to watch every week to keep up on the underlying story but quite frankly, I'm only going to be watching for the challenges.

Anyhoo, I got to thinking about Japanese game shows and actually came across an article on NPR about these same Japanese game shows! It was like kismet. The author posts his Top 3 Japanese game show videos and I have to say that #2 is the best. I assume that this is a game show or part of a show - not sure about that part. Its called Silent Library and the premise is that these 6 people are in a library and they flip cards to find out what the "punishment" is. They each draw a card and the person with the odd card has to receive the punishment. The trick is because they are in the library they have to take the punishment quietly and the other participants have to stay as quiet as possible. Take a looksie at what I'm going to be downloading onto my iPod.

And no...I don't know why the black guy is on a Japanese game show.

On top of that - I found this video that gives that one a run for its money.

Botox Watch Part 2

2008-06-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I posted about my obsession with Mary McCormack's botox lips on my blog. Who knew that it would get me some action on Google and their search engine.

This almost made me as giddy as when I got contacted by Mr. Happy Crack's people...ALMOST.

Pardon Me While I Lose My Shit

2008-06-21T19:16:00.001-07:00

Why the fuck would the LA Kings trade Michael Cammalleri to Calgary?

Why?

WHY?

WHY?!?!?!

This guy actually scores goals!!! Do they actually believe that this move will actually increase their chances at getting the cup? First they fire their coach; then they buy out their goalie (which I actually approve of because he sucked ass so disregard that second point).

People, I still haven't gotten over some trades from the last two years and now this? Not to mention that my beloved Matty Norstrom actually retired!

So who is going to become coach? Who are they going to get to mind the net? Are we still calling this a "rebuilding year"? Probably, just making sure.

At least this made my decision about buying season tickets this year an easy one. PASS.

Can He Be Any More Perfect?

2008-06-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

John Cusack just keeps getting better and better....

Get ready to use your voice this November and vote!

Sharing is Caring!

2008-06-11T10:40:00.001-07:00

Kerry says:
want 1/2 my bagel?
Melissa says:
sure
Melissa says:
thanks for thinking of me as being your back up eater
Kerry says:
:)
Kerry says:
you're not my backup eater, you're my first choice sharer!
Melissa says:
YAY!!!

I'm Not Stealing Thunder

2008-06-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

This video actually left me speechless.

I...Um...Uh...

What?

The Tooth Fairy Cometh

2008-06-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, Jake started complaining about a loose tooth. Yesterday, my drama queen of a son decided to cancel all plans for the day and sit about the apartment watching tv and holding ice to his sore mouth, eating only soup and pudding. Tonight, we decided to have pizza for dinner. After the 3rd bite, the pizza bit back and Jake's tooth came out.

This perfectly natural event in my adventures in parenthood never ceases to amaze me. The shock on Jake's face that came after he pulled the tooth out of his mouth kind of caught me off guard. I was torn between finishing my pizza and taking him to the bathroom so he could rinse his mouth out. Finally, he went to bed - all excited about the tooth fairy coming to take his tooth away and I dont know what I'm more pre-occupied about.

The fact that I'm not at all prepared for this tooth coming out today. Do you think he would mind if I paid him out of the laundry quarters? I think it would blow my cover if I wrote him a check.

That I got this in my head as the image of the tooth fairy:

Lucky for me, I didnt show this to Jake or he might have put the tooth back in his mouth.

Botox Watch

2008-06-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

The city has been littered with advertisements for a new series on USA called "In Plain Sight". I'm sure you've seen the pictures - its of Mary McCormack lookin' all rough and tough with her US Marshall's badge on her waist. I have to say that I really like Mary, I loved her on the West Wing and in Mystery, Alaska (shut up, its a good movie) and I knew I would love her on this show.

Here is the thing....ever since the posters started popping up all over the place, the one thing I've noticed over and over again are those lips! Its like they didn't even bother making sure the inflammation went down before the shutter started going. Sometimes, it actually looks like she has a little shelf on her upper lip.

I've watched the first two episodes of the series and its...eh. I mean I like it but the story line is rather predictable and her family is extremely annoying. I actually found myself fast forwarding through the 2nd storyline while watching it this morning.

Anyways, I put it to my blog followers...is it just me or are those lips a little "off"?

Um - What?

2008-06-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

I have an appreciation for art - I really do.

But, I came across this blog that just baffled me.

Is the dude committing suicide? Is it a metaphor for his penis? What does the water mean? Why are they in the woods? What is the key for?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??!?

No Body of Christ For You!

2008-06-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

As I was driving home last night, I opted to listen to a little NPR. During “All Things Considered”, a story piqued my interest. It was about conservative lawyer Douglas Kmiec. Kmiec was denied communion while at a mass connected with a gathering of Catholic business people. The priest denounced Kmiec's endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama, then refused to give him communion.

Click here to listen to the story.

I have never been a very religious person, but how dare this priest think that he can pass this sort of judgement on Kmiec? This thinking is one of the reasons I distanced myself from the church in the first place.

By the way - he's not the only one. I found this article from the Kansas City Star that says:

"Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius should stop taking Communion until she repudiates her support for the “serious moral evil” of abortion, the Catholic archbishop for northeast Kansas says.

Archbishop Joseph F. Naumann, of the Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas, also criticized the governor Friday for her recent veto of a bill imposing new restrictions on abortion providers.

In a column published in the archdiocesan newspaper The Leaven, Naumann called on the Catholic governor to take the 'necessary steps for amendment of her life.'

Naumann later told The Kansas City Star that would involve a confession, a public apology and a promise to undo the damage done by her “scandalous behavior that has misled people into dangerous behavior.”

I'm sorry - I don't recall the Catholic stance on abortions being that it leads to dangerous behavior (i.e. a form of birth control) but that it was always about it being against killing a life. There is difference. I'm a very much pro-choice and do not want anyone (especially a Catholic priest) telling me what I can and cannot do with my uterus.

I'm too mad to keep typing.

Shame or Pride?

2008-06-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

My friend (whom shall remain unnamed) just admitted that she signed up for the Wheel Watchers Club on Wheel of Fortune because "She had nothing better to do".

This is the kind of thing that usually comes out of my mouth - I think I'm losing some of my zing.

My Big Fat Greek Weekend

2008-05-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

I was whisked away this weekend to do two things I've wanted to do for a long time - experience The Monty Python greatness that is Spamalot and see the Hoover Dam, being in Vegas was just an added bonus.

Spamalot is based on the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". The show is fantastic and the only time I wasn't laughing was when I was trying to catch my breath to laugh some more. Because the Grail Theater at the Wynn isnt that big, it created this intimate atmosphere that made the experience so much better. Hearing the woman in the next section crack up as soon as the curtain go up and not stop pretty much throughout the show was priceless.

I almost feel like I have to memorize this movie now. "I'm not dead yet!" "Run Away!" "Ni! Ni! Ni!" "Fetchez La Vache!" Those are some of the things I've been saying for a the past few days.

Oh yeah - one more..."I fart in your general direction!" Luckily, I have a picture to prove this one...

The best part of the show was taken from this scene from the movie:

Needless to say, I can't really stop talking about this show. It was great!

The next day - the Hoover Dam was to be tackled. Let me state that my sister in law, Missy was totally right about the effing traffic getting there. Do not go during a holiday! But even though we had to sit in traffic for a long time, it was totally worth it.

The drive up was gorgeous! I have to say that I am a sucker for desert scenery.

One of the reasons I wanted to see and walk over the Hoover Dam was because the the Arizona/Nevada stateline crossed basically right in the middle of it. People use the dam as a way to commute between the states. Maybe it was my overactive imagination, but I swore that there would be some big line showing the stateline and significance that two states met at this engineering marvel. I suppose the the people who wanted to commemerate the moment didn't think like I did. This is all I saw:

Thats it! And I knew it wasnt just me because some asian dude pointed it out as well.

Seriously speaking (or typing) the views from the dam were spectacular! To the north, you have Lake Mead:

To the south, you have the Colorado River:

And here are some pictures of the dam itself.

It really is just impressive and breathtaking. Especially when you look straight down...

And you realize that...it really is pretty damn straight down. Like...really high up and straight down...

And then you remember that you are afraid of heights and start to freak out a little bit.

Sweatin' To The Oldies

2008-05-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

I got my Wii Fit today.

Some people have said that exercising with a video game does not replace being outside. That exercising with a video game will not replace going to a gym and finding someone to push to your limits.

Let me say, that the video game sweat is still the same sweat as being outside or in a gym.

Would You Like A Side Of Gore With Your Coffee?

2008-05-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

As I was reading an article about an explosion at a construction site in San Diego, I noticed something odd. On the right, they had the "Most Popular Slideshows" listed from the news website. That wasnt the odd part...the odd part that four of these posts had a "Warning: Disturbing Images" label.

"WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGES"

I get that the disclaimer has to be on there but there are four stories that have this!

Look:
Its not even 10:30am and people are already looking at pictures of dead bodies? And yes, you bet your ass I looked at the pictures and I gotta say, they aren't THAT distubing. They have most of the image distorted. But, if you compare those pictures to what they show on the spanish news channels...now there are some actual distubing pictures. Every now and then, you get lucky because you get to actually see blood splatter!

I think I've seen one too many episodes of The Shield.

Discovering Podcasts

2008-05-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

Many know that I'm not a very technical person. If you are curious as to how frustrating it is to deal with me in this manner, just ask Derry about the time I asked him to explain to me what an RSS feed is. I have to say though, it takes me a while but I eventually get there.

Anyways, last night, I opted to surf the podcast section of iTunes to see what they have on there. Let me say, that I just found a show that I'm going to look forward to every week when it gets updated. Its an NPR show called "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!". This is their description from their website:

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! is NPR's weekly hour-long quiz program. Each week on the radio you can test your knowledge against some of the best and brightest in the news and entertainment world while figuring out what's real news and what's made up.

The show is funny and it has trivia. Witty banter and useless information? A winning combination I tell you!

Movie Review: Across The Universe

2008-05-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my mom called bs on my perpetual procrastination by actually asking for her movie back. About a month ago, she lent me "Across The Universe" to see and I still hadn't gotten around to watching it. By the way, I'm not mentioning how long I've had "The Departed" sitting in my To Watch pile. I can tell you right now (or when you read this because technically right now is right now for me and not right now for you - just sayin') that Derry just said, "She still hasnt seen it?!?!" and rolled his eyes at me.

Ok back to the movie review...the movie is entertaining and engaging, not to mention a love story/musical - which basically hits all of my happy spots when it comes to doing something on a Sunday afternoon. If you don't know what the movie is about, its love story between a boy from Liverpool (Jude) and an American girl (Lucy) set in New York during the Vietnam war era. The musical part comes courtesy of the Beatles and their songs. I have to say that I have a new found respect for their music, its one thing to sing along to their songs on the radio and another thing to watch them come alive up on the screen.

The moment of the afternoon, though did not come from the movie but from my mother. While watching the movie, the group of friends go to a party where they are offered some punch. Then it gets all trippy and they are all on a bus going somewhere. Now, this is where it got weird - my mom...I'm not even going to try to explain, I'm going to try to type out verbatum what she told me.

Mom: Do you understand that mija?
Me: Understand what mom?
Mom: Back then, they would have people drink the punch and they'd put LSD in it to make them high. When someone takes drugs, its called "a trip". They are on the bus and its a metaphor for being on the drugs.

Side note to my brother: she did this like the 3rd time she woke up during the movie.

This was basically my reaction:

I mean...what the hell can I say?

I couldn't figure out what was more disturbing - that my mom felt the need to explain this to me or the fact that she actually knows these terms, in English! There are times where I really don't want to know about her past - really I DON'T. I know we have gotten to this bonding time where I share more than I used to and I see her as a friend but dear god - she still my mother! The great thing is that one day, I'm totally going to show this blog to Jake and its going to screw him up just as much and I CANT WAIT!!!

The movie is very entertaining but I'm glad I didn't run out to see it in the theaters. Maybe if I was in another generation where the Beatles had influenced me more, I could see why someone would LOVE the film (cough, my mom, cough) but I think it was good.

Final Rating: Rental

Oh fine...Congratu-freaking-lations

2008-05-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

Most people know that I'm not the hugest of Laker fans. But I feel that some props are in order for Kobe Bryant who just won this year's NBA MVP.

Nothing says Most Valuable Player like throwing a hissy fit at the beginning of the season.

D - I'm trying to be supportive...I'M TRYING!!!

Irresponsible Parenting

2008-05-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

Driving home from work and school today, Jake opted to watch the only South Park episode I have on my iPod - "Trapped In The Closet". In case you live in a cave or have no sense of humor, "Trapped in the Closet" is the infamous Scientology episode. Yes, I referred to South Park and Scientology in the same sentence.

Jake wants to be entertained and I tell him to watch the South Park episode. He tells me that its "inappropriate" for him. Um - where did this child come from?

Does he watch anyways? Yes...yes he does.

Jake: Mom?
Me: Yeah?
Jake: Is the Scientology stuff real? That they talk about in the show?
Me: Yes it is.
Jake: So people believe in the Xenu thing and and pay money?
Me: Yup, they do.
Jake: Um - do they know it sounds stupid?
Me: Well, you may not agree with what certain people think - but its what they believe.
Jake: Yeah, its still stupid.

I freaking love my kid!

Do You Speaky The Spanish?

2008-05-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I just got a telemarketing call that I think has taken it ot the next level of annoyance in my book.

The caller asked for me by name and then proceeded to speak to me in Spanish. I answered in English. He asked me if I spoke Spanish and I said yes but that I preferred to speak English. Then he proceeded to ask me why. WHY?!?! Because we are in freaking American buddy! If you are trying to sell me something then at least respect in the manner I prefer to be communicated with.

P/S He kept referring to me as a ma'am. UGH

Movie Review: IRON MAN

2008-05-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

WOW.

Robert Downey Jr is back in a big way as Tony Stark.
I actually didn't hate Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts.
Jon Favreau did a great job directing - and may I add that he lost a hell of a lot of weight.
Um, I think the kid that played Ralphie in A Christmas Story was one of the producers.

Yeah, this movie is pretty awesome. A part of me of me would like to do the traditional synopsis of it but its just worth it to go see it.

So do as Tony Stark commands:

Stop what you are doing and go see IRON MAN!!!

Final Rating: Full Price!

THIEVES!!!

2008-04-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

I know that eating at the airport isn't the cheapest thing but $29 for two cheeseburgers, fries, and two drinks?!?!

P/S Don't give me shit about one of the drinks being a float...

Day 3 of Kid Watch

2008-04-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Baby no name threw up on me right after I took a shower. It was fun.

Baby no name you say? Yeah, the new niece still has no name. My brother even set up a website to name her. Its been 3 weeks!!!

Jacob has named her Lily. He actually calls her Queen Lily and even though Oscar and Missy haven't officially settled on it, I think no matter what they name her - she's Lily to him.

I've actually grown fond of Lily as well. Lets cross our fingers!

Day 1 of Kid Watch

2008-04-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

Jake and I are in Vegas visiting the new niece. I joked with my sister-in-law that this weekend was going to be this make it or break it in terms of me wanting another child down the line.

Two 6 year olds, one 3 year old and a newborn.

Birth control - 1
Procreation - 0

New Record!

2008-04-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

It took 49 minutes for my brother and I to have one of those great "Oh my God! Stop talking my stomach is hurting and I can't breath" laughing fits.

CAMMY!!!

2008-04-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

So Jake and I just met Michael Cammalleri at LAX after we checked in for our flight. I have to admit that I think I came across as an idiot in the instance.

Here it comes...
Me: Jake I think thats Cammy!
Jake: Who?
Me: Michael Cammalleri from the Kings
Jake: Really?
Me: Yeah - go up to him and say hi.
Jake: Uhhhh (surprisingly enough my kid can get shy REALLY quick)
Me: Come on man! You gotta take the chances when you get them!
Jake: Ok! Ok!

So we kind of stand in front of him and he looks up from his luggage. And I'm just standing there because I'm waiting for Jake to say something but, he doesn't say anything. Now I realize that Jake isnt saying anything and I have ot scramble to save at least a little face.

Me: I'm sorry to bother you, but you are Michael Cammalleri right?
Cammy: Yes I am.
Jake: Cool!
Me (to Jake): I told you!
Jake: Hi Cammy!
Cammy: Hi! Whats your name?
Jake: Jacob
Cammy: Are you a big hockey fan?
Jake: Yeah
Cammy: Cool!

At this point some airline person came over to ask him about something and so we were just standing there. And yes, it was one of those awkward surreal moments that a part of me just wanted to say "Ok, just wanted to see if it was actually you - Thanks!" And thats kind of what I did.

Cammy: Sorry about that.
Me: No worries, just wanted to say hi. Have a safe trip!
Cammy: Thanks you too. Bye Jacob!
Me: Bye!!

All and all pretty good - other than the fact that I looked like a complete bum. The funniest thing is that I left my camera at home so I couldn't go that extra mile to ask for a picture. Although I believe he's at the next gate, I may run over there to use the webcam on the laptop.

Study: If you tweak results, you'll eventually prove your dumbass hypothesis

2008-04-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

One of my (many) pet peeves is the annoucements of studies that either 1) are so obvious you actually roll your eyes when they announce the results or 2) studies that are just plain stupid.

This one falls in the latter category.

This is the headline I saw on Yahoo's homepage:
MOTHER'S DIET CAN HELP DETERMINE SEX OF CHILD - STUDY

Um - correct me if my 5th grade science is wrong but doesn't the father's sperm determine the sex of the child? Mom has XX and dad has XY...an XX can only give an X and XY is the one that determines the sex of the child.

All this is doing is helping the whole "men are not accountable for anything" or "women are to blame" arguments. I'm actually so annoyed by this article, that I'm going to do an ongoing commentary for those of you who do not want to click on the link for it. (Its like my own MST3000!)

PARIS (AFP) (Please don't blame the French, I heart them)- Oysters may excite the libido, but there is nothing like a hearty breakfast laced with sugar to boost a woman's chances of conceiving a son, according to a study released Wednesday.

Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female of the human species, says the study, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, Britain's de facto academy of sciences. Fiona Mathews of the University of Exeter in Britain and colleagues wanted to find out if a woman's diet has an impact on the sex of her offspring. So less calories, minerals, nutrients equals weak woman?
So they asked 740 first-time mothers who did not know if their unborn foetuses were male or female to provide detailed records of eating habits before and after they became pregnant. The women were split into three groups according to the number calories they consumed per day around the time of conception. I have issues with this part of the study. First of all, they had to talk to women who were preparing to become pregnant because otherwise how would you have this detailed record of eating habits. I barely remember what I ate last week.

Fifty-six percent of the women in the group with the highest energy intake had sons, compared to 45 percent in the least-well fed cohort. LEAST WELL FED COHORT

Beside racking up a higher calorie count, the group who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy also went up sharply "for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily compared with those who ate less than or equal to one bowl of week," the study reported. Gives a whole new meaning to "make sure you eat your Wheaties".

These surprising findings are consistent with a very gradual shift in favor of girls over the last four decades in the sex ratio of newborns, according to the researchers. Because this article is screwing with my head so much, this sentence doesn't even make sense to me.

Previous research has shown -- despite the rising epidemic in obesity -- a reduction in the average energy uptake in advanced economies. The number of adults who skip breakfast has also increased substantially. Why is this even in this article? "This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose low calorie diets, the proportion of boys is falling," Mathews said. Its a stretch but still not buying it. The study's findings, she added, could point to a "natural mechanism" for gender selection. Wait, so now Darwinism is getting brought into this?

The link between a rich diet and male children may have an evolutionary explanation. For most species, the number of offspring a male can father exceeds the number a female can give birth to. But only if conditions are favourable -- poor quality male specimens may fail to breed at all, whereas females reproduce more consistently. HAHAHAHAHA

"If a mother has plentiful resources, then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter," thus contributing to the survival of the species, explains Mathews. I have to say, that in my family this is true - Oscar 3 Melissa 1

"However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet." So there....

While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos. I think they may have to redo that nursery rhyme, since Girls are supposed to be made with sugar 'n spice.

The Joy of Spring

2008-04-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Since its getting kind of warm out here in LA-LA Land...I've been leaving my front door open during the day. On Saturday, as I was watching something insignificant on tv and chatting it up with a friend online I see something curious on the other side of the screen. At first, I don't know what to make of it. I mean, I know what is going on but in my mind - it honestly doesn't register.
Could it be? Could two birds be having sex right outside my apartment?

If I had any sense (and many of you know that its a toss up) I would have turned on the webcam and started recording on the computer - but did I? Nope. I was too busy wondering - is that really how birds have sex? It was one of the oddest moments ever. EVER.

This is pretty much how it went:

What bothers me a little bit more about this - is that I actually Googled "Bird Sex" and looked at different videos about birds having sex until I found a one that I actually liked enough to post.

I should have written my review for Michael Clayton instead.

Topics of Discussion

2008-04-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

I had this long list of things to post about but as I sit in front of my laptop, I have a sudden onset of writer's block. Its so bad that I can't even think about what I was thinking about posting. My new iPod seems to resonate some sort of feeling but I have to admit - I have no clue.

I'm watching Major League and the best line just happened:

Yankee First Baseman: Going somewhere meat?
Willie Mayes Hayes: About 90 feet.

I know...its not much. I'm watching and trying to get inspired.

The Indians win it! The Indians win it! Oh my god - the Indians win it!

Yeah, that might help.

One Of Regular People

2008-04-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

I finally took the plunge and got my iPod.

I should retype it to reflect my actual emotion towards my new toy. I BOUGHT MY IPOD!!!!!

I have to admit that I couldn't understand why people would be on those things all the time. I see people driving with them, talking to people with the little ear buds in - all the time.

But now...I understand and I have become one of them. Even more so considering that I downloaded Scrabble.

Those Damn Dirty Apes

2008-04-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Charlton Heston died yesterday at the age of 84.

Every time I hear about Chuck Heston, I don't think of his famous roles but rather, an ex-coworker. Her name is Bonnie and I used to work with her at Universal.

Bonnie hated Charlton Heston.
She hated him for his egotistic attitude for playing Moses.
She hated him for being the President of the NRA.
I repeat, she HATED Charlton Heston.

One day, one of my other coworkers thought it would be funny to upload a whole bunch of mp3 files on the various computers in the work area with an array of Heston quotes from his movies.

When she would save a file, the computer said to her "Let my people go!"
When she would minimize a window, her computer would say "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape! "

What made this little prank even more entertaining was the temper that she had.

That day, she hated us just as much as Charlton Heston.

Frakkin' Awesome!

2008-04-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Battlestar Gallactica is back on the air tonight for its final season.

'Nuff Said

And Then There Were Three...

2008-04-04T10:18:00.001-07:00

A great big CONGRATULATIONS goes out to my brother and his family!!!

They welcomed their 3rd child to the clan very early this morning (thanks for the call at 12:30am dude).

A baby girl!!! YAY!!! No details on weight, length, or name.

Although I heard Talulah Rue is in running... :P

Running Home To Set My Tivo

2008-03-31T13:38:00.000-07:00

JOEY!! DONNIE!! JONATHAN!! DANNY!! JORDAN!!

Yup, those pesky New Kids On The Block are going to be performing on the Today show this Friday. Its been 20 years since Hangin' Tough has been released and they are unleashing their boy bandness on a whole new generation.

Damn...20 years since NKOTB came out. It feels like yesterday, since I still know all the words to their songs.

A Helpful Reference Guide

2008-03-29T12:46:00.001-07:00

YES!!! According to this, I'm pretty high up on the Geek hierarchy. Finally, some ammunition against Kerry and her uneducated name calling.

Oh Silly Hollywood

2008-03-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

When you work in Hollywood, sometimes you have to do double takes.

Today, I had a moment like that.

When I saw Charlie Chaplin riding a bicycle while flying a kite down Sunset Blvd while I was going to Quizno's to get my lunch.