Saturday, December 31, 2005
New Year - New You
Before the new year dawned on my new life I needed to let the old one go - I got in my car and I ended up in Santa Monica - I parked my car and made my way in the rain through the sandy beach and stood by the shore. Watching the surfers ride the weather driven waves and the birds fly above me - I realized this the moment to let things go. The rain stopped and I stood there and told the Pacific my dreams and my goals for the new year. I told her my fears and regrets of the past year and just like the sea foam, they seemed to disappear into the waves. It felt like an eternity as I stood by the shore telling the ocean my deepest thoughts, then all of a sudden the rain began to fall again. I turned to walk back to my car and I didnt feel like I was getting wet at all. I just kept walking through the sand - feeling the steps getting lighter and lighter. My new life is starting to take form because of the new outlook. I realized then when I sat on the warm, dry seat that I was soaked. I ended up driving to the Sherman Oaks Galleria and treated myself to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Women were sitting around drinking their spring water and eating their salads, while I ate a hearty meal with chicken and mashed potatoes. I even had dessert - tiramisu cheesecake. When I left - I was full and happy and ready to face the new year.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Poor Birdie!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Legit? Maybe...But Still Fun!
If you select all and then copy and paste in to an excel spreadsheet you will see a bunch of hyper links in the cells. My favorite is K-10. Also note that the copyright of the document is 2009.
Enjoy!
Funny Things Around the Web
If you are trying to launch into a new career - how about this?
My Kings Rule! So much for Colorado being a powerhouse this year and damn, Rob Blake can be a big baby!
Ducks suck - the goalie gives up one goal and its his own teammate that scores - Selanne should have stayed in San Jose.
HOLY CRAP!!! I was reading my horoscope and they had this link to what your resolutions should be based on your sign. I freaked because one of the "suggestions" is exactly what I had planned to do.
I love Blogging LA - seriously.
HELL NO!
I dont know about you, but this is pretty freaking cute.
I was wondering the same thing.
Is this why he sucks as our President?
I need the money - but no thanks.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Belated Xmas Greetings
As for my Christmas, things went pretty well. I've come to the cruel realization that Christmas is really for the kids. Not too much loot - although a certain someone did feed the addiction to my crafty side and someone else gave me a cool ring with my birthstone on it - couple of sweaters and a box of licorice. Seriously, I love the box of licorice.
The Jakeman went crazy over his gifts. Loved the jersey and the kids digital camera that "Santa" brought him. AWWWW. After we took Jacob to his dad's for the week - I took my parents to Yuma to see the new baby in the family. How dumb are we that we didnt take one single picture of the baby! We were just involved in lots of family activity and low and behold, yours truly made a ham. My mom was shocked and kept asking me why I dont do anything at home - HAHA, because I'm a guest now in my home and at my aunt's I was "helping".
Back to work.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Santa vs. Mommy
Last year, I had an epiphany about being a parent and not only just giving presents from Santa but also giving present from me. This year, the story is different - I dont want to be overshadowed by the man in red. Sure, Santa may bring him lots of books and such, but mommy is giving him a Kings jersey. When I buy him his presents, I want to give him the better gifts, you know? Some people think I'm over thinking this...am I? I don't think so. Since, as adults, the joy is to watch the reaction that people have when they open that present that you searched high and low to find or even better, made for them - of course you want them to think and say "Damn this was the best Christmas ever!"
For me, its turned into this sick competition with a fictional holiday character for the sake of furthering an illusion for a preschooler.
Not only do I stack up the presents and say "This one will be from me and that one will be from him" but I'm also adhering to the strict "Two types of wrapping paper" rule. Yes, one paper from me and one from Santa. Why? You know why. THE ILLUSION!
I get home and for some reason my mom is not as interested in the whole two different wrapping paper theory that I have. She just doesnt think its as big of a deal as I do. She also is giving all the presents they bought as being from Santa - I told her he's going to think that they didnt want to give him anything. I never understood why Santa's gift tags had my mom's writing or that the paper was the same - its about putting thought into it. This is stuff that I (and I'm sure my brother) noticed growing up, if I'm going to lie to my child, I'm going to do it right!
This is hurting my head - being deceitful takes up too much time and effort.
Old Sox, New Yank
BEFORE
Friday, December 23, 2005
Celebrity Sighting
My Name is Melissa and I'm a Procrastinator
This little truth about me always comes to haunt me around holidays and birthdays. This year I’ve cut down on the list of people who are getting presents (I have a system) and for the most part I have most people taken care of. Of course, I forgot to put some people on the list that my son has to “buy” presents for. This part of Parenthood 101 they forget to go over. I may not need to buy anything for the ex, but my son sure as hell has to buy something for his dad. This kid needs to get a job quick.
Since these were mainly presents from my son, I decided to call him and ask him what he wanted to give his grandmother, his grandfather and his dad for Christmas. I told him what I had picked out for grandma and grandpa and he was happy with those, but for dad...he wanted to get daddy an action figure. An action figure? Yup, an action figure. I know my kid well enough to know that he will give the action figure to his dad and know that his dad will say "here you have it" and bam, he gets an extra present.
So last night I went to Target to finish off the shopping, let me rephrase - HOPE to finish off the shopping. Target is a funny place - last night, it was hell...H E L L. Not only do I hate to shop but people were downright pissyshit there. There were times where it felt like I was walking through the areas in slow motion, watching it all like a movie. People screaming at each other for cutting in line, clothes being thrown all over the place, dogs barking (its West Hollywood), and people fighting over a candle. I heart Christmas.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
All For The Carver
In Melissa’s world, the plan never EVER works out.
Here is my day and I will try to keep timelines in because makes the blog more interesting I think.
6:15am – get woken up by grunts coming from the living room. Roomie is a personal trainer and trains people in the home. Worked out rather well since I needed to be off the street by 8am for the street cleaning.
7:55am – Leave for work – since its early, I opt to stop and pick up some stuff for wrapping and the room at the 99cent store and Target. Something I made a note to get was AAA batteries for my MP3 player (important).
9:10am – I get to work
10:00am - Interview
11:00am – Interview
12:00pm – Interview
12:30pm – Cover Receptionist for lunch
1:00pm – Interview
2:00pm – Interview
2:30pm – Walk to McD’s for some cheeseburgers and hope to see cute Britboy back in town.
3:00pm – 4:30pm Actually sit at my desk and do work
5:00pm – Fire someone
5:45pm – Staked out the parking structure so previous employee doesn’t come back.
6:30pm – Leave work
7:15pm – Arrive at Joel’s to pick up tv bigger than my child to take to my new place
7:30pm – Get phone call from mom asking why I haven’t called her all day (meanwhile I’m trying to control the huge tv in the front seat of my car from crushing me to death while I’m driving a STICK shift car AND talking on the cell phone)
7:42pm – Finally get mom off the phone after I pleaded for my life.
8:05pm – Arrive at the new digs, take some stuff up and ask new roomie to help me with the tv, he cant – bad back.
8:12pm – Pounce on unsuspecting male coming out of a car to help me with my tv, he knows roomie and is really cute.
8:15pm – TV delivered – cute guy calls me babe, I’m loving this neighborhood already.
8:17pm – Miraculously I find a parking spot on my street
8:20pm – Get to my room and plug in the tv – doesn’t work. Try again, nothing. Called Joel and he says that he always used a remote and it worked fine.
8:23pm – Off to Walgreens to find a universal remote for the tv
8:28pm – Arrive at Walgreens – damn Walgreens has a lot of good stuff.
8:32pm – Receive call from friend back east who only drunk dials me, I think its funny we chat for about 15 minutes.
8:41pm – Contemplated buying AAA batteries for the remote, remembered I bought batteries earlier today
8:50pm – Arrive home with new stuff, realized batteries I bought earlier today were AA not AAA’s.
8:50pm – Headed back to Walgreens
8:56pm – Arrive at Walgreens, buy batteries
9:01pm – Made it back home, bought AA batteries AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
9:01pm – Back to Walgreens, called Hope to tell her I’m an idiot
9:06pm – Arrive at Walgreens, bee line to the battery section, ask the clerk to verify that these are indeed AAA batteries (no lie, ask Hope, she was still on the phone)
9:14pm – Back home – load batteries (victory #1), read instructions to program remote, step #1 – Manually turn on TV (I’m fucked)
9:15pm – Started to think that this was not my day.
9:32pm – Called my dad for some daddy advice
9:47pm – Dad told me I was screwed
9:57pm – Accepted defeat, loaded the AAA batteries on my MP3 player and started wrapping presents
10:00pm – Nip/Tuck started, I wonder who The Carver is – still rockin out to my MP3
11:15pm – Decided to hit the hay, its been a long day.
11:21pm – Receive a text message from my cousin that my cousin Michelle’s water broke, dude, due date is a month away.
11:22pm – Called Jonathan to ask how she’s doing, he thinks she’s fine, he and my aunt are in LA and Michelle is ALONE in Yuma, drove herself to the hospital
11:23pm – Called mom to tell her
11:51pm – Get another text message from Jonathan that Michelle is in labor and at 2cm “whatever that means”
11:51pm – Immediately called Jonathan to tell him about childbirth
11:55pm – Off the phone with Jonathan, called mom with update
11:57pm – Called Oscar to update him and since he was going to be watching Nip/Tuck, he can tell me what happened.
11:58pm – Oscar didn’t watch because he kids are sick, ended up talking to my other wonderful sister-in-law for about 20 minutes.
12:31am – Finally went to sleep
6:23am – New baby arrives, shares birthday with Maya
7:12am – Got up and prayed today wont be like yesterday.
Here is a recap to what happened on Nip/Tuck – let me say that pictures of this leaked out sometime yesterday and people were hoping that FX didn’t let the cat out of the bag hours before the big finale. What dummies, seriously.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Who knew?
Anyways, on to the races...
I get into work and I was jonesing for a Sausage McMuffin with Egg - seriously I dont know why but I just wanted one so badly, I have been craving McD's lately, maybe its because I've really cut down on the fast food - I just find it funny. Anyways, as I'm walking down the street this guy is walking his dog towards me and as he gets close to me the guy crosses the street to avoid me. Ok, so do I have some sort of invisible freak flag flying over me? It struck me as odd oh well, c'est la vie. Onward ho to McDonald's.
I get there and there is this guy standing off to the side - he tells me he's already ordered and to go up..uh, ok thanks man. After I order, I go stand next to him and he's telling this guy (tourist) that he has to stand on this star to get service. I can tell this is going to be fun. So the tourist (might I add a few details - British, one of the most handsomest men I have ever seen in my life) stands on the star and is starting to guess that this man is fucking with him - a big clue was the fact that I was cracking up. So I introduce myself to the funny man and he says his name is Bernard. I ask what he does and he dresses up as Spongebob Squarepants and walks out in front of Hollywood and Highland along with other characters. Maybe it was the smell of hashbrowns in the morning but I found it to be very funny and cool. So Bernard gets his food and goes to sit down. Guess who comes and stands by me? Fine ass Brit boy. Since I was all miss social chatty Cathy I start asking him questions - where he's from? Why he's here? Does he want a personal tour of California...the usual. We had a nice little chat until the called my number - damn food tends to pull rank over everything so I grabbed my food and started to head back to work. Bye bye BritBoy.
As I walked back, I kept thinking about how we take things for granted - by we I mean Angelinos who walk through movie sets, see celebrities buying coffee and not really think much of it. When I turned the last corner to return to my building - I see Elvis and Marilyn Monroe walking a poodle and a cocker spaniel named Buttercup.
On another highlight of the day:
Scott threatened to ban me from his blog because I don’t like Coldplay. Geez.
Blog mention of the week. Thanks to Shannon for this one. Hope you feel better girl!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Holiday Shnizzle at the Bowling Alley
We had our Holiday party (thats for G) last night at Jillian's on Citywalk. So much fun, I had the great honor of coordinating the whole thing in like 3 days. Everyone had a good time - the best part was that some of our psychics showed up - LOVE IT! One of the ladies was chatting with a group and she started saying about a reading she had done for someone (question, is it ethical for a psychic to be talking about a reading she did? Is there like doctor/patient priviledge? Just wondering) and I walked up and joined the conversation while validating everyone's parking (since I was playing the hostess with the mostess that night). She made a comment about what was wrong with the person she was talking to - then I say - "Well whats wrong with me?" and she said, without missing a beat, "You are too nice." Fan-fucking-tastic.
Thats it - my whole world in a nutshell from a psychic at a holiday party.
Needless to say, I stayed away from the psychics (all of them) the rest of the night. I was tipsy and couldn't handle any more revelations - true or false.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Lack of Posts
I'd like to thank you for your revolutionary products of NyQuil and DayQuil. They are quite helpful in my fight against this wicked cold/flu crap I have. Once again, I'm indebted.
Yours truly,
The Sicky
P/S Theraflu does nothing.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I ain't one to gossip, but....
Apparently I'm not the only one that loves me some Avery.
Sean Avery that is.
He's a center for the LA Kings and "allegedly" is fraternizing with Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame. They were spotted in Toronto - hand in hand!
I guess Elisha is also a huge hockey fan because she has her very own hockey blog over at NHL.com. Who knew?
At least this way he's cleaning up his image since his little rant about French-Canadian players being wussies, well change the W and replace with a P.
(source)
Things arent so sunny in the land of Spederline. "Apparently" she had his car repossed and returned to the lot. I'm sorry but that boy is a freaking BUM why she married him, I'll never know. But DAMN! So the rumor is that Mama Spears has moved in to help with the new baby and has pushed the Kevster out. THANK GOD!
(source)
I have been holding my tongue on the whole Jolie/Pitt/Aniston thing, but Brad has (in my opinion) crossed the line decency line by attempting to adopt Angelina's kids. You were unhappy in your marriage and wanted something else - fine, thats why you got the divorce.
But going out and adopting the children of the woman who (allegedly) broke up your marriage is bad form. I know that you want to move on with your life, but out of respect for Jennifer, you should have waiting. I was on Team Jolie, I'm now on Team Aniston.
Where's my shirt?
(source)
BREAKING NEWS!!!
I love Hollywood.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
READER PROFILE: Jessica
So I've been waiting and waiting for a picture from Jessica and I finally get this (and by finally I mean over the weekend and this is the first time I can dedicate to getting it up).
Its cute! Except it doesn't show the flirting she's so good at.
Begun at 12:10 am GST on 17 November, 2005. I told you I've been waiting for the picture for a long time.
Is this what busy feels like?
Friday - drove to the desert to pick up the parentals and child for my cousin's baby shower. On the way there, I got very frustrated with traffic that I ended up in Porter Ranch of all places.
Here I made a visual so you can laugh at me appropriately.
Dont even ask me how I ended up out there...lets just say I was trying to circumvent all the freaking LA traffic and I TRIED to take side streets. When I called my dad for guidance, all he did was laugh at me. Thanks daddy...thanks.
The rest of the weekend was filled with family stuff, which was great. Always have a good time with the fam. My car is being worked on. I was supposed to get it back but some new things that were found, I hope to get it back tonight. Ho hum.
Since I was supposed to go get my car last night and couldnt I went home and the roomie and I spent some quality time watching a dvd called "The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog". I love Triumph, he is so funny. So many sketches had me doubled over but only one made me cry from laughing so hard - I found it for you.
A little background on the bit that you see on the DVD but not on this video: Triumph is sent to Hawaii to cover the American Idol auditions and is thrown out. He goes to the local NBC affiliate to tell them about the injustice of it all and they have him do the weather on a news broadcast! ENJOY!
Friday, December 02, 2005
VINDICATED!!!
Remember how I posted that I'm recruiting for a blogmaster for a new website we are launching? Well I got some responses and I was really pushing for one person while someone else was making suggestions of bloggers to contact. Well we have two people coming in two weeks from now to interview for the position (my #1 and their #1). I have been saying that mine is great and just pulling for her because talking to her on the phone and reading her blog, I think she would be perfect. Not to take away from the other person, but I just think my gal would be best.
I get into work yesterday morning and one of the owners sends everyone involved in the hiring a link to an LA Times article on blogging. I dont have time to read it since I'm still reviewing emails - then I come to a second email from the big man saying that the gal on the cover is MY NUMBER ONE PICK! He even brought in a hard copy of the article with the picture of the blogger on the cover.
Sweet Sweet Victory.
Yes, that may be a bit premature but it felt good that I was on the right track AND that my taste in bloggers is a good one.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Update: Mr. Happy Crack
Jacob: Ok mom, I'm opening the package. (I like how this becomes like he's disarming a bomb)
Me: Ok, tell me whats in the box...I'm really excited you get to open it.
Jacob: Me too...ok OH MY GOD!!! There is some underwear in here...
Me: Underwear?
Jacob: Yes, like pajamas
Me: Great! (I still have no idea)
Jacob: Oh Yeah! There is a tshirt in here too!!! And another box! I have to open the other box!
Me: Uh, ok. (I can hear my mom in the background reading the shirt and saying Mr. Happy Crack)
Jacob: Its uh, something - like a toy.
Me: What kind of toy?
Jacob: I dont know, like a toy. Mr Happy Crack! Mr. Happy Crack (no kidding he starts singing some theme song for Mr. Happy Crack that he just made up)
Upon further investigation I figured that these are the things I received.
I get them tomorrow night when I see the family.
Action Packed Post!
BLOG OF THE WEEK - The Hollywood Machine
Ahhh yes, yet another blog that I have to add to my daily checks. THM is so funny and the adventures of the British Balcony Lover are to die for. LOVE IT!
LOST (spoilers ahead)
6 weeks! 6 WEEKS!?!? We have to wait 6 weeks to find out what happens to our favorite band of islanders? So Kate killed her stepdad because she found out he was her real dad and he was abusive towards her mother - then her mother turned her in. Damn I'd have trust issues too. Fuck.
So the roomie and I are glued to the tv and when Kate takes Sawyer outside and sees the horse, the damn TIVO switches to South Park - so we didnt get to see what happens in the end. We jump online and find out about Sayid being on TV while Kate is in the recruting office. See:
So we missed the whole watching of the film (although from reading stuff online we really didnt miss much in that dept) but we missed the whole IM thing with Michael and WALT?!?!?! Holy Crap.
South Park
Yet another gem from Trey and Matt. Free Willzyx is about how the boys go to the Sea Park in Denver and the whale starts talking to Kyle and telling him how he needs to be freed and wants to return to the moon to be with his family. Little do they know that the whale's voice is being provided by one of the announcers of the whale show and that they do this often to little kids. In true SP fashion, Kyle grabs his friends and they all get in on the action to help the killer whale return home and the hilarity ensues.
BTW - here is a recap of that "Trapped in the Closet" episode with the Scientologists and Tom Cruise.
The Colbert Report
This show has really grown on me and if you had seen it two nights ago (we watched it last night on TIVO) HOLY CRAP it was hysterical. With the avian flu running rampant, he asks the age old question - Was it really that bad: Black Death. I didnt get a chance to see all of the video online because I have to - whats the word...WORK. But if they have the interview with the author - its all worth it.