I got nothing - oh wait, I do!

So I was going through what happened yesterday afternoon in a somewhat comical daze. I got a call for an interview with a company in North Hollywood - put me back in my old stomping ground. They wanted to meet with me today at 4pm. Well - today at 4pm meant I would have to leave work at 1pm and drive, interview, be charming (blah blah blah), and drive home (since I would have to go to work on Wednesday). I wanted to do it Friday because it wouldn't require me to spill anything about my plans to my coworkers. On top of that I was thinking about setting a deadline of October and just moving then instead of trying to rush it. Ok - are you with me? Great. So the agency that I spoke with calls me for an interview Tuesday at 4pm. I call someone to cover the area so I can go, I cancel my hard to get appointment with my therapist (by now, seriously I dont need it, I've gotten over it), and I tell my boss what is going on because I need to take the afternoon off. After all that...they call back and say "Sorry, they have to reschedule to another day - how about Wednesday?" I told them sorry - its going to be Friday or nothing, I'm not rearranging my schedule all over again. ARRGGGGHHHH Like I said, I found it to be quite comical.

Last night, I was watching this special on the making of Star Wars on A&E. I love watching all the special features and watching a movie with the director's commentary. I'm a film buff, what can I say. Speaking of film buff. My dad and I have a project for the summer. To see all the movies that are on the AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time. I've already actually seen 47 of them - don't know if I should be proud of that or re-evaluate how I spend my free time. So I joined NetFlix and ordered Chinatown. That little sentence just put a smirk on Juan's face - just so you all know. So we were talking about movies and my mom had never seen Casablanca for one reason - she doesnt buy that Bogart and Bergman are a couple because he's too old. I swear - I curse my brother everytime he says I'm turning into her. So I'm going to force her to watch it a la "A Clockwork Orange".

Totally Inappropriate

So these are somethings that were said in my office today...no wonder they cram Prevention of Sexual Harassment down our throats.

Me to the Safety Officer: Wow, I've never seen you in clothes before.
Safety Officer: Huh?
Me: Wait, I meant that your always in your flight suit.
Safety Officer: Uh, can I file a complaint? (jokingly)
Me: No, no -you know what I meant!
Chief Test Pilot: Too late, I'm the witness.

Chief Test Pilot: What kind of icee do you want, my treat.
Me: Um - not sure, Strawberry/Kiwi or Black Cherry...wait Blue Raspeberry, wait - what else is down there?
Chief Test Pilot: Ok you know what - I'm just going to give it to you and you are going to like it!

By the way - they called me for that interview! Stay tuned...

No title - just post.

Hey - how's everyone doin'? As for me - yeah, I snuck out on the blog post because I headed down to LA Thursday night for a job interview on Friday morning. So it turned out to be a long weekend but fun.

Thursday - left town 3 times and kept coming back because I kept forgetting things. I hate traveling in a rush. Got to Steph's house about 10pm - although I wanted to be there about 830pm...it sucked. But at least I didnt get a speeding ticket.

Friday - God knows I love my mom - but she wigs out a bit. I just got out of the shower when my cell phone goes off - its her. First thing out of her mouth (translated from Spanish)
Mom: "WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME?!?"
Me: "Uh, because I just got up and I just got out of the shower."
Mom: "Don't yell at me!"
Me: "I wasnt yelling, I was just saying"
Mom "Yes you were, I'm your mother and I'm sensitive. Did you find out more information about that company? You know people put information out on the internet and the kidnap and kill young women. They are traps."
Me: "Yes mom, I found their website and got their address and everything."
Mom: "Well, give the address to Stephanie, you know, just in case."
Me: "Thanks for the faith mom. I have to go get ready"

Went for the interview - they said I might get called for a second one, so we'll see. I didnt get around to eating until 2pm and I was starving - but that starving where your eyes are bigger than your stomach. So I ended up having leftovers later that night. Anyways back to the lunch. I went to Zach's which is this little Italian place down the hill from Universal. And it was empty - deserted even. So I had the little wing of the restaurant all to myself. Yeah me. So I sat there waiting for my food and reading my book - the waiter kept coming in and checking on me (I dont know if he felt sorry for me since he sat me in such solitude). Then he sat this Korean couple in there and I know they spoke English because they both spoke to the waiter in English - but when they were along, only Korean. I found it funny. So I ate and read - and finally finished my book. So off I went to meet up with Juan for an afternoon adventure. Went to Chinatown and had Vietnamese food. Never had it and found it to be rather tasty. Always a good time. Went back to Stephanie and Ossie's place and found Ossie watching the Dodger game. I was all about going at and hitting the movies and sushi, and then - laid down and grabbed a blanket. I was out - I passed out for about 45 minutes.

Saturday: Went to have sushi for lunch with S&O - took me 3 hours to get to Carol's house. Freaking LA traffic. Went to a birthday party. Ok - so moments of the night. Senor Pancho breaking the door down with a nifty karate chop, Hope saying "She's seber, she's seber - why cant I say sober?" and Hope dancing like she was Beyonce.

Sunday: went to see Bewitched with the girls (it was cute - worth matinee price or rental) and drove home. No ticket this time - yeah!!! I've also started to work on my myspace profile. Here is the link to it if you want to check it out. Its still rather dull but I can handle only so many things online at a time, at least I added pictures to that account. If you have a myspace account - hit me up as a friend...I like having friends!

Humph...

Another quiet evening in the homestead. Watched Beauty and the Geek and then Dancing with the Stars - thank goodness Rachel Hunter was voted off, she was getting on my nerves. Although Carol and I are still curious to see what her tattoo is on her tailbone. Oh well. The funniest thing though - was my brother calling me after they announced the results...I was all WTF?!? I joked with him that he was joining the cult...then he said that his wife (the lovely Missy) had it on when he got home - yeah right. Tell that line to my mom, she's the only one that will believe you.

So Juan got me hooked on this puzzle game called Sudoku. I'll be damned if I'm not going to download a few of these suckers a day to work on. In case you dont know this about me - I'm a puzzles and game fanatic. I have crossword puzzles stashed all over the house for me to do when I get bored or just need a challenge. And there isnt a board or card game that I wont turn down. What sucks is that I don't have many people to play with. I play cards (mostly) with Shannon and my mother in law because they got me hooked, and I mean crack addict (ok, maybe more marijuana) hooked on this game called Spite and Destruction. Ooohhh so fun. I play Literati (although not so much lately) with Juan on IM. And I refuse - REFUSE - to play any game with my mother because she cheats. And not sneaky cheat, flatout cheats. Then she turns around and says "Well I was just testing you to see if you'd notice" Notice my ass - you are a cheater! LIES! That one was just for Oscar. So speaking of games - Scott and I made one up. Its good that we are productive at work. Its a movie trivia game and the object is to use one of the characters and used the plot line as clues.

Example: Your father is obsessed with an old nemesis, a plan for potential world domination, and female robotic guards.
Answer: Austin Powers.

Example: You were once a great warrior, but then you friend died and his lame ass son took over and then you because the new form of entertainment. you were about to kill the son when you realize that his nephew is this kid friend of yours. so you kill him later and die
Answer: Gladiator

Feel free to play amongst yourselves or with yourselves whatever the case maybe.

D'oh

Pretty quiet night last night. I went out and bought my mom's belated birthday present to calm her down from the night before. I told her that it would be late - but those types of "excuses" don't fly with her. If you didnt plan properly for it -then you failed. I swear Oscar - you better be discovering the next big thing. Oh by the way - Happy Belated Wedding Anniversary- 4 whole years huh. 4 years since we got lucky enough to get Missy in our lives and her family got screwed and got you. All love...all love.

Did you see the news about the Yankees? Holy shit they came back with a fury in the 8th inning of yesterday's game. They won 20-11 and scored 13 runs in the 8th. But as a fan, what got me the most was seeing Randy Johnson - the GREAT Randy Johnson - getting pulled out in the 3rd inning after giving up 7 runs. Ok - this was one of those moments when you sit back and realize that someone is past their prime. I couldn't believe it. I remember watching Randy Johnson pitching for the Rangers and going after the strike out record. Ahh, memories.

So I came in this morning and was doing my usual routine. Log on the computer, start my outlook, check my email accounts, and check Scott's blog. But it wasn't updated yet, so I did a few other things - including sending a mp3 file to a coworker. Ok, checking again...DAMMIT! Not up yet...stall some more. Ok - so I check again a VOILA! Its updated. So I'm reading it and I guess there was a problem with the MP3 file that I had sent and the guy came into my office to talk about it. I swear, I wanted to tell him to take a hike since this was my time to read SCOTT'S THOUGHTS. Although today was Mark's thoughts since he's the featured reader for the week. I thought it was funny and immediately felt the need to change my routine.

Oh Monday Monday...

Pretty busy day at work - since the other office manager left - it has been rather busy. We have someone to help but she's here only in the mornings and I guess people prefer to ask for help in the afternoon. Go figure. So after work I went to the store to buy my mom her birthday card. Yes, I havent been really "with it" lately in the planning department. I felt like one of those guys out on Valentine's Day buying the ugliest floral arrangement there was. Anyways, I find the cards (one from me and one from Jacob) and get in line to pay. I should know by know that the shortest line doesnt necessarily mean the fastest. This lady had a bunch of stuff, which wouldnt be a problem, but the cashier was so unbelievably slow! The people behind me left and I was trying to be nice and be all "Its ok, no problem" (insert fake smile here). Then the lady picked up a ball without a tag on it and said - I want this too. Apparently this was too much for the newbie cashier. She called for help from the neighboring cashier, called a manager....I HAD to change lines and as I'm moving she's yelling - "I'M SO SORRY!" Damn my luck, I went to another cashier whose mother was friends with the ex. Now, I realize there are three kinds of people in your social circle. Friends that are your own friends - no matter what they "belong" to you. His friends that you are cordial with and don't have to like - only put up with. And the "our" friends - the ones that if there is a break up either have to be civil with both parties or pick a side. I can see Scott nodding his head. ANYWAYS - so we've known this kid for a while now and when I get up to his box (a this point, I really dont care, I just want out of the store) here it comes the forced small talk. The asking about my son (who he called Ralph for some insane reason) and asking about the ex. I never really know how to address that. Because you can go one of two ways - admit the breakup (but then have to endure the "I'm so sorry!" and "Things will be ok" looks and sometimes even speeches) OR lie through your teeth and get the hell out of the store. "Things are fine, say hi to your mom for me- bye!" Out the door...Went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. Chatted with my friend Joel - the one who went to Italy and has apparently been back for three weeks BUT did bring me back my souvenier. We had a nice chat about life, relationships, and foods that start with the letter U. I only got one - Unagi. Any other suggestions?

It was bound to happen...

You know, you get spoiled with biweekly 3 day weekends. I had to drag my ass to work today. I couldn't go to sleep last night - mostly because of lots of little things that happened over the weekend but mainly because I wasnt tired. So I went to LA and had a nice time - on Saturday I was in a solo mood and hit the Norton Simon museum - which for as long as I lived in the Pasadena area, I never went to. So there I was on a Saturday afternoon, walking around looking at the artwork. They were featuring Degas - what was this guy's obessession with ballerinas? I didnt realize he was an avid sculptor as well. I'm a huge fan of impressionism so I was in that area of the museum for the majority of the time. I love reading the little stories/histories that accompany the painting - about why they painted the portrait, who owned it, who they were friends with...its just interesting. Its like reading about authors that were friends and how that friendship might have influenced a great piece of literature. Anyways, so I'm walking around and made my way to the 17th Century wing and saw this painting by Jacob van Ruisdale. I don't know what made me look closer...but I swear that two sheep in the painting are fucking. Needless to say, I was laughing all by myself with the guard was looking at me. I can only imagine what kinds of things they overhear since everyone has their own interpretations of the paintings. So had a good time - went back to Carol's and we went out that night. The next morning, I pretty much woke up, got dressed, and left. As I was driving home, I got stuck behind a semi truck going through Adelanto - no biggie but as soon as the truck moved over to the right lane when the passing lane opened up - it slingshotted (is that word?) me forward...just in time for the CHP to see me "speed" past the truck. Oh yeah, I got myself a ticket. He said I was going 73 in a 55 (which I know is BS because I couldnt be going any faster than the truck that was JUST in front of me). So I gave him my information and he asked me what had happened and I explained about the truck and the slingshot effect... and he goes "Yeah that sucks. Sign here" He also told me that since I was being so nice to him, he knocked it down to 65 in a 55. Yeah me. I asked him if he was having a bad weekend and he said that it was incredibly busy. But not to busy to catch me! Oh well, for as much as I drive through the desert, it really has been a miracle I've never gotten a ticket before hand. So I stopped at Burger King to have lunch and read my book and I ended up sitting there for about 45 minutes...just reading. Luckily a friend called me and snapped me out of it. So I finally make it home and end up - you guessed it, reading my book - The Devil Wears Prada. Damn that book is so entertaining. Info for Shannon - I'm at the part where she just finds out she has to go with Miranda to Paris. Jacob went with Brian to Disneyland for Father's Day so we were able to clean a bit yesterday before the tornado returns today. Ok - work calls. I have stuff to do and I'm not at all in the mood to do it.

Oh yeah....just call me Obi-Wan

So yesterday I had to help an officer with something - like I was saving his ass with something. Part of this something is that he's going to Alaska so in return of "being his only hope" (thus my new nickname...not kidding) he's bringing me back Salmon. Yeah me! I passed out last night...damn I was tired. I didn't win the contest Scott is doing on his blog. How do you have a picture with someone that is your IM buddy. I would have had to go through my wedding pictures - which coincidently is the last time I saw him. So yesterday when I got home, Jacob was all over me to buy him the new batman mobile. But since I get paid today (and I was broke yesterday) I told him we would go this morning. No kidding- I was brushing my teeth and he comes in the bathroom asking me if I'm ready to go get his batman mobile. So we are going in a bit. Planning on heading to LA - probably leaving this afternoon to spend some quality time with my friends. Thats it...I need to take Jacob to the store, he's practically on his knees.

Evander...NOOOOOOO! and We get another one to join the cult

Another quality evening last night. Basically (George Lopez...hahahaha) went home, picked up my mom and took her shopping for Father's Day this weekend - I still have to get her birthday present (OSCAR THIS IS YOUR REMINDER! MOM'S BIRTHDAY IS MONDAY!). I don't know what to get her - I'm opting just to give her cash. Damn I'm getting rather lazy about shopping. Actually its because she is really really picky. She tells us we arent allowed to buy her any sort of appliance for Christmas, Mother's Day, or her birthday - because those are days just for her. So we have to resort to clothes, perfume, creams - ect. May not sound all that hard, but when she sits there and says "Oh...this would really great for the kitchen" You just have to know its just a rhetorical question. My mom - gotta love her. Bought Jacob these pajamas he's been dying for. My kid and his love for Spiderman - will it ever end? At least its Spiderman and not Barney, I'll give him that much.

Ok - so on the TV was Beauty and the Geek, this show is so funny. The gals had to build rockets and the guys had to buy clothes for the gals and then the gals had to do a fashion show. LOVED IT! And one guy was putting the moves on another girl. I bet these guys leave the house acting like pimps. Dancing with the Stars was on - my poor Evander. He got eliminated and I think he was more thankful that he was done dealing with this stupid reality series than anything else. John O'Hurley and his partner Charlotte are still my favorite couple. The joy of it all. Shannon - we got another one hooked on LOST! Its my friend Iliana, she emailed me yesterday about the show and I kind of caught her up. Its hard not to give out too much information.

I was up late job surfing (and chatting with Carol) so I should revise - I was up late chatting with Carol and job surfing. So this morning I feel a bit sluggish. I found out my cell phone didnt charge last night. There is something screwy about my phone - its very tempermental about charging itself. Its like - its forcing itself on vacation. Gotta start work - first get my breakfast going then work. At least today is my Friday - yeah!

Almost Forgot...

A great big Happy Birthday to Juan. Doubtful he'll read it, although when he does, he "questions" what I put (or more specifically don't put) in the blog. I reserve the right to omit certain juicy details.

So Happy Birthday, don't drink and drive, see how I'm saving you from me singing that song? Hope you get everything you want, as you usually do because you do it for yourself. I heard you got a kick ass home made gift....(wink wink).

So Happy Birthday you old man. Yes its only 3 months difference but you are still OLDER.

At my wits end...

Most of you, who actually talk to me in addition to reading the blog, know that I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. The divorce, major work issues - it has lead me to make a decision that I'm really excited and nervous about. I'm moving back to LA. I'm in search of a job (so if any of you can help, hook it up!). As soon as I get a job, I'm out of here. I have been really lucky in having friends that support me. But yesterday (here comes a rant), someone was pointing out my faults and how I got into the situation I'm currently in. Ok - I dont need my face rubbed in whatever is going wrong, I know what is wrong and I'm doing my best to fix it. Many of you know this about me - don't tell me 6 times that things went wrong, I got it. TRUST ME, I got it!

When I went through the divorce, I went to see a therapist. I've been pretty open about that. And I'll be damned if I keep leaving messages for him. I think its kind of funny - "My therapist won't call me back!" I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, but you have to get to the end of the rope to start over. So, if I'm rude, cold, indifferent - I'm sorry (because apparently I was rude to someone yesterday, unbeknownst to me). I'm just trying to deal with my shit. Yes, things will get better, but I need to find the light at the end of the tunnel to truly believe that. To me, that would be getting a job and moving out of this town.

So to those of you who have heard me out - thank you very much. Your shoulder and ears are much appreciated. I dont know what I would have done without you guys being there - especially Carol and Shannon.

Life I'm Never Getting Back

I took Jacob to go see The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. I pleaded with him to go see Madagascar again - but noooo, he wanted to go see the other movie. And since the ex took him to go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith (not kidding) - I obliged. Review: The movie has a nice message about dreaming and how to always dream a better dream, blah blah, blah - but I just started thinking about other things I would have rather been doing, like cleaning a toilet. Would have proven to be a bit more productive. And the whole 3-D glasses thing always throws me for a loop. But I have to admit that I got sucked into the story and wanted to find out what happened to Shark Boy and Lava Girl - the girl who played the teacher's (George Lopez) daughter looked like a really young and tanned Tara Reid - I couldnt get past that either. So I went home, gave Jacob a bath, and put him to bed. Then I chatted with my brother who sends (see Oscar I'm giving you proper credit) me this link for a movie his friend made. Ok - something else I felt I was wasting precious life moments on - and then the dance off begins. I'm warning you now - its about 15 minutes long, but gets funny towards the end. Might be inappropriate for work so do it at home or shut your door. "The nads are beating up the punks!" Yeah, it was pretty funny.

Tonight is Fire Me, Please. Watch it - its so funny! Well, hopefully it will be as funny as it was last week. Time for work...boss is away at the other base and its time to play...

My weekend in LA LA Land

Alright - so I have a knack for having interesting adventures. And this weekend was not an exception. So here is the run down...

Friday: got up really freaking early to take Ryan to the airport. I always have this fear when I travel that I wont have enough time, especially when dealing with traffic on the 405. So I get up about 5:00am and picked up Ryan at 5:45am - since I told him 5:30am, I was right on time. I had to have him there at 9:30am and off we went. I actually had him there at 830am. So I dropped him off and since everyone I knew was working...I did the only other thing I could think of wanting to do that morning. I went to the beach. I hadnt gone to the beach in a looong time, so I was rather excited. I made my way to Manhattan Beach and took my MP3 to enjoy the solitude. So as I was walking to beach - I saw a homeless man sleeping on the sand...awww - with his ass hanging out of his pants...ewww. I wonder if its because he wants it to get tanned - just curious. Anyways, I called Carol and made plans to meet her before she headed off to work and went with her. Carol is an activities coordinator for kids center (more on that later). So as I made my way from Manhattan Beach to Fontana, I called my friend Jim to see how he was and he was getting lunch and invited me. So we met up and started catching up. Then came the topic of conversation that I have been talking about all weekend long. Jim works with iron - iron fences, iron staircases..ect. But what he has also made are bondage beds. Oh yeah, bondage beds. I couldn't get past the topic. So I asked my questions and told him that I have the right to ask more questions. So I made my way to Carol's and went with her to her work. It was movie day and we were watching "The Day After Tomorrow". Carol has told me stories about her kids...not that I never believed them...but damn! This kids are sharp and keep her on her toes. The funniest thing that happened was when a couple was making out in the movie and Moses screamed "They are about to fornicate!" Oh man, I was doubled over laughing so hard. So we went back to her house and started cleaning for her little sister's birthday party on Saturday night. I was so tired I basically passed out while Carol was redecorating her bedroom. AllI could hear was her hammering and then fade to black....

Saturday: woke up relatively early, had breakfast and headed out. I had an appt at 1230pm which lasted about 5 minutes. So I had to meet Stephanie at 4pm at Universal for the Dodgers game and had about 3 hours to kill. So I made my way to North Hollywood and had lunch at Bob's Big Boy. Had my usual - sat at the counter - read my book. It was quite the lunch. So I headed to the mall and went in search for a birthday card. So as I was standing in line to pay for the card - I started feeling sick and I mean SICK. It was now about 3pm and I went to Universal to meet up with Stephanie. I was telling her how sick I got and she told me that Bob's had been closed for rat infestation earlier that week. Nice huh... So we make our way to the Dodger game and it was Celebrity game night. Luc Robitaille was playing left field and I kept screaming LUUUUC in hopes that he would hear me. But we were too high up and I was embarassing Ossie, so I yelled louder. We left at the top of the 7th and the Dodgers were losing 5-3. They ended up losing by that score. Then I met up with Juan and went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I totally enjoyed the movie and highly recommend it. And even more so, I enjoyed my time with Juan. I really do miss him and I'm glad to have him back in my life. We had a rockin' and rollin' good time. I gave him his birthday present which was something I made him. Luckily he liked it. And no - you dont look younger than me. The bouncer was too chicken shit to say anything.

Sunday - woke up to the earthquake. Ahhh - good ole California. You know when you are used to the earthquakes when you dont even run for the doorway - but just roll over and go right back to sleep. Picked up Ryan from the airport, had In and Out, then drove home. Its been a long weekend but I had fun.

Ahh, Thursday

Since I’m not going to summer school, I’m doing a lot of other things and not having my LOST/ALIAS night has opened up many possibilities for shows to watch. Last night, we made an attempt to get $0.10 Buffalo wings but by the time we got there, they were all sold out. Darn the luck. So we went to join the chilidog diet and went to the park. Tired Jacob out and went home to watch Beauty and the Geek. Juan raved about this show last week and so I had to watch – it was entertaining. The concept is that hot girls are paired up with geeks. One guy was pretty cute actually and he hooked up with one of the hot girls. The girls had to learn about cars and the guys had to learn how to give a message. The girls compete against one another as do the guys – the girl and the guy who win the challenge each pick a couple to go against each other for a “showdown” of sorts. The couple who gets the most answers right on this quiz on the stuff they were challenged on get to stay, while the other team is eliminated. Last night, the girl of the “hook up” got eliminated (no thanks to her geek he got 3 answers wrong on his portion of the quiz). I have to brag that I got all the girl questions right – I rock at automotive knowledge! Watched my new guilty pleasure “Dancing with the Stars” and Carol and I texted and called each other throughout the night. Trista and her diva partner got eliminated – YEAH! Poor Evander – the guys had to the quickstep and he looked like he was going to fall. What does annoy me about the show is that they don’t play the traditional music. They were doing the rhumba and the band was playing “Endless Love”. Play the right music dammit! Juan is getting into LOST so I was filling in some of the blanks last night. It was funny because some of the questions really didn’t have answers back then (they showed episode 2) and since a lot of the questions were answered its hard to not give out too much information.

I’m starting to notice how dull my site looks. No pictures…ect. So I’m going to be changing it up. Stay tuned. Yes Oscar, this means I might actually have to use the Flickr account you set up for me. I need to get a digital camera to take pictures.

Speaking of pictures…visualize a picture of a huge tree branch in the courtyard of my apartment with the closest tree 10 yards away. The tree branch, just there – in the middle of nothing. No reason for it to be there, there were no drag marks, just looks like it was dropped from the sky. Just thought it was interesting.

I’m taking tomorrow off and heading to LA. I’m taking a friend to the airport and staying in town to run around and get into trouble. So doubtful there will be a post. Maybe this not having camera is a good thing – no evidence!

No Luck

So those of you that know me fairly well know that I can have some bad luck run around my karma for one reason or another. Lately, its been electronics. For one reason or another, some electronic items wont work or break on me. When I first started here, I accidentally broke the laminator machine - like it was my 3rd week on the job. Then about an hour ago, I broke our shredder. Our monster shredder...apparently the fuse burned after a few too many papers were sent to be shredded. AYYYEEE....no luck, I'm telling you. This is not mentioning that the copier machine wasnt working for me earlier this afternoon. I was copying some thing (about 50 pages) and did it twice (which came out to four times since I was doing two sets) and nothing would come out. So I finally decided to just walk away and do the copies somewhere else. About 45 minutes later, this guy walks in with my copies - apparently someone had paused the previous job and mine had been stored. I swear...maybe I should stay home tomorrow.

Thats the funny thing about working in an office. So many things get blown out of proportion. Here I am just blaming luck for my dumbass mistakes (yes I'm admitting it was all user error) on my blog (rant) and blowing things out of proportion for the sake of a post. What can I say, I'm kind of bored. Most of my morning consisted of me doing a web-based training tutorial for the Prevention of Sexual Harassment. Oh joy...so now I know how to properly break the rules for government regulations on that.

Had sushi for lunch...its great when the sushi chefs recognize you. They let us taste stuff. The roll this guy was experimenting with last time is now the house special. I'm doing this thing where I try a new one each time. Today it was the teriyaki chicken roll. Next time it will be the lobster roll. I'm also (wait for it) adding wasabi to my soy sauce. For those of you who I've had sushi with...oh wait that would be Juan and he doesnt read this...Steph? Are you reading this? Anyways, I'm not a fan of spicy, I'm a wimp through and through...but I've started to try the spicy stuff. Awww, I'm getting so brave! Ok, enough rambling, I have more equipment to break.

Move It Move It

You know how sometimes its feast or famine at work? Yesterday was that feast day – holy shit, I was so incredibly busy. I finally finished my non-stop work at 4:25pm when my boss offered to let me go home early, but did I? No….so I ended up ditching the gym and just headed home. After dinner I took Jacob to go get ice cream and stopped off at the park to watch a softball game. So Jacob and I had been talking about Madagascar (Scott’s new favorite movie) and I’ll be damned if he didn’t start singing “I like to move it, move it…I like to move it, move it” Scott cursed me….because I started singing it the rest of the night.

So we got home about 830pm and played for a bit and then I started to watch this show called Fire Me, Please at 9pm. Ok – this show wasn’t the absolutely best thing but I laughed my ass off. It’s a reality/competition where two people get dropped off at the same time at two different jobs for their first day. The object is to get fired before 3pm, if they both get fired – the person closest to 3pm without going over wins $25,000. The rules are 1) you cant do anything illegal, 2) ask to be fired, and 3) tell them you are on a tv show. The owners are involved because they give the show things that will piss the bosses off. It was great to see their buttons pushed. They had hidden cameras in the back rooms and stuff and the coworkers would go in there and talk shit about the contestant. At the end of the show, they showed the people going into these places of business and telling them it was a tv show. I was chatting with Juan while watching that and then Law and Order SVU. Now, LWSVU…I cant even begin to describe what they portrayed on there. Each story takes its own turns and this one had me going in circles. Basically, there was a set of identical twins, boy and girl, and some guy had male DNA on his pp from a bite. But it wasn’t the boy – it was the girl…but the girl is a girl right? Wrong, she was born a boy but the circumcision went awry and they turned her into a girl. She was taking estrogen and everything. THEN – the twins were going to a therapist where the doctor made them simulate sex to “explore” their sexuality. The doctor ended up getting murdered by one of the twins but since identical twins have identical DNA they couldn’t really prove who did it. Yes I realize that television for the most part is fiction – but someone had to have heard something to come up with this idea and it creeps me out that someone did that to his or her child. Juan and I were pretty speechless – it was weird. Played Literati again and he kicked my ass twice. Dammit.

WHEW!

Amazingly enough I’ve just been preoccupied – that’s why I haven’t posted.

Friday:
I had my usual bi-weekly day off. Took awhile for me to get my day started because – well it was Friday and I didn’t have to be anywhere at any exact time. So I ran my errands and took Jacob to see Madagascar – I should rephrase, he took me to see Madagascar because he had already seen it. Ok, this movie is hysterical! It’s cute and just so funny. Julian, the King of the Lemurs was my favorite character, I about died laughing when he first came on. Seriously, you guys need to watch it at some point, I want to take Jacob again, maybe tonight…more for me because I want to see King Julian again – MOVE IT, MOVE IT! After the movie, we went home and had dinner because we were going to go see a ballet recital of Alice in Wonderland that a bunch of my coworker’s kids were in. It was pretty good – I mean, still a local dance recital BUT there was one interesting point of the evening…the girl (lady, whatever) that did the Cheshire Cat – holy cow…it was like watching some erotic dancer on stage, I was a bit embarrassed. I sat with my boss and his family and I asked him during the intermission and apparently the same thought had crossed his mind. I sat there, with my mouth open and just in shock. I was waiting for her to pull a chair on stage, pull a rope, and have water fall on her.

***PLANT UPDATE***
So I took Jacob over to my friend’s house to water his plants. According to the list, I had to water EVERYTHING – so that’s what I did. I watered EVERYTHING. When he called to ask how things were going, I happily told him that we watered EVERYTHING and that Jacob had watered his cacti plants. To which he says – “You weren’t supposed to water the cacti!” “Uh, why not?” I reply “Because you don’t, I didn’t say to water the cacti” “You said EVERYTHING. Everything includes the cacti, if you didn’t want me to water the cacti you should have said everything but the cacti” Geez Louise….But Jacob got to see his tomato plant and he accidentally plucked off a tomato.

Saturday:
Woke up late and basically ran more errands including the watering. Ryan called to check on his plants and I told him that some look wilted. He freaked. So I was asking him questions about his plants and apparently the way I was phrasing the questions was freaking him out. It was kind of funny. I went off on him because #1 I told him I had a black thumb, even if watering plants is a no-brainer, if someone says “Use me as an absolute last resort”, you should TRUST THEM! I also got snippy because he only called to check on his plants, not to ask about my weekend and me but about his plants. My mom would laugh because she said that she could picture him jumping in his car and driving back just to check on his plants. But Ryan is a sport….

Sunday:
I woke up in the mood to clean. I got up and immediately cleaned my desk – like I was still in my pajamas and cleaning. Ended up making dinner – I totally rock. So I watched the Tony’s and I came to many realizations.
1) I wished I lived in New York so I could see these shows
2) Hugh Jackman is a really good singer
3) Monty Python rocks
4) Christina Applegate has one of those annoying, shrilly Broadway voices
5) They did a scene from the play “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” and I was laughing so hard. I’m putting that on my list!

Then I stayed up way late playing Literati with Juan (I won the series 2-1). He kicked and I mean KICKED my ass the first game but then I came back with a vengeance in the second two games.

Ok – I have to start work. That lady that is driving me nuts has 4 days left and the countdown has begun. She’s making something so simple so unbelievably complicated.

Wednesday Evening Runarounds....

Ok - so I thought that it was going to be a relatively quiet evening since my usual Wednesday night ritual of watching LOST and ALIAS is going into hiatus. But I was a wrong....

Hit the gym after work- nothing really exciting happened except that I realized that the scale is off by a pound. So I thought I had gained a pound but in reality, I hadnt. Yes people, I need a life. Went home to have dinner and shower before going to my friend's house to water his plants. I wanted to take Jacob with me so I could show him how his tomato plant was growing (it has 11 tomatoes on it!). But nooo - he decided to go to sleep. So off I went on my own.

***Plant Update***
Everything is good. Although I noticed some of the chili plants were wilted - but since it wasnt on the list to water....I did call my friend and ask him if plants could drown. Yes they can - but I think you have to really make an effort to do so. So it wouldnt be an accidental death, but murder. Just an observation.
***End of Plant Update***

I had to run a few other errands and then I went home. Ok - I'm admitting that I saw "Dancing With the Stars" last night. My mom and I haven't heckled the television this much in a while. I was a bit shocked to find that Joey McIntyre (from the good ole NKOTB) really doesnt have a lot of rhythm, Evander Holyfield is quite entertaining to watch because of the funny faces he makes, Rachel Hunter sucks, and the guy from Seinfeld (the one who played Mr. Pedderman) was so good! Ok, guilty pleasure, I have to admit. It totally sucked, it was bad television, but it was rather entertaining. I want to wait and see what the people from TWOP have to say about it.

Waaay too much faith

My friend asked me to go water his plants while he takes a very spontanous trip to Seattle "for the hell of it". Good for him...bad for me. I have to go make sure his plants dont die while he's gone. And I'm not talking a couple of ferns - I'm talking tomato plants (sure one of them is Jacob's but I'm overlooking that at the moment), many many chili plants, herbs, vegetables....yes those poor little plants are screwed. He made me a list of what needs to be watered and when. God love him, he did a step by step! To which I dont know if I should really be grateful or insulted....I'm going with grateful - my peeps.

My coworker was driving me nuts this morning. Instead of asking about things, she immediately accuses you of doing it wrong. She's leaving in two weeks for another job, so I'll just bite my tongue and smile. Nod and smile....nod and smile.....

I've been kind of bored at work so far this week. Since a lot of people took time off its rather quiet. I'm still hungry from lunch too.....ooh, I have left over Thai Pan Fried Noodles from yesterday....SWEET!

What is the world coming to?

DEEP THROAT is revealed?

Paris engaged to Paris?

Monks brawling in the street?

What? Universal's not on the list?

Ahhh Bush....

You know what....this is pretty interesting.

Alrighty then!

The talk of the office this morning is Danica Patrick - the IRL driver that made it exciting for people to watch the Indy 500 this Memorial Day weekend. Now, I have to admit that I have become a huge race fan over the past 5 years. I prefer Indy Racing to NASCAR but I have my favorite drivers in both that I cheer for and obviously hate other ones, just because. Anyways - because IRL isnt as popular as NASCAR its funny to hear people talk about it as if they have been fans for years - I mean its great that Danica Patrick brought all this attention to the sport but it annoys me that sometimes people talk out of their ass and jumping on the bandwagon. Yes, Bandwagons....tack that onto my infamous pet peeve list. Oh yeah...I have a list. Most of which my friends are aware of because I proudly declare "PET PEEVE" when someone is in violation of them.

Only three days of work because Friday is our regular day off. I really should have taken these three days off and had a mini vacation (3 days of leave for 9 glorious days off). I could have gone to LA and done some serious partying! Oh well, there are a few more chances to do that - the week of Labor Day, the days before Thanksgiving, and the last week of December.

Its 840am and I'm already ready for lunch....

The looong weekend

So lets see....

Friday night: went to a retirement party for one of the commanders - it was fun but I didnt stay long.

Saturday: went to Vegas to visit my brother. My aunt and cousins went too...WOOHOO! I miss the bbq's we used to have long ago. Even though I live with my parents, I still only get the carne asada when we go visit my brother. DAMN HIM! My mother still showing that favoritism...

Sunday: drove back from Vegas.

Monday: Went to a bbq for a bit then came home and cleaned and watched a Law and Order marathon. And then...I remembered that I had a copy of the Muppets' Wizard of Oz movie. I dont know if you guys know this about me, but I love the Muppets. My favorite all time character is Pepe the King Prawn. Oh damn he's hysterical.

Ok, back to playing Literati with Juan...he's kicking my ass and thats probably because I'm not paying enough attention to the game.

Flippin's Sweet!

I love Napoleon Dynamite - his new tutorial on how to dance is so educational!

TGIF!!!

Holy shit its been a long week. We get every other Friday off and I swear it feels like I havent worked 5 whole days in about a month. But I'm sure I have...haven't I? Anyways - last night the week caught up with me and I crashed at about 9pm or so. I blew the gym off and went on a mission to buy Seinfeld Season 4, had Weinerschnitzel for dinner (mmm, chili dogs-I swear these chili dogs rank right up there with pizza and sushi as my favorite foods), and then went home. And thats when the fun started. Jacob is really starting to respond to following rules to games- so I taught him how to play Duck Duck Goose (with action figures and stuffed animals, we are so sad) and Freeze tag. Now this is a game he got into. I had to get frozen after I pretended to slip and fall on the bed or floor so I could get some rest. Gave him a bath - then I laid down to watch the food network with him and saw this cool show about a BBQ competition. I'm so down with going to this thing next year or whenever. The recipes they talked about made me want to run out and buy a grill and start grillin'. And darn it - I don't know who won because I fell asleep. Went to Starbucks this morning, because like I said, its going to be a looooong day. Have a nice weekend!

On a side note - OMG it really does cause blindness!

LOST and ALIAS - MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD...

Jiminy Christmas!

LOST was good (not great). I love Hurley- had the best line of the night “He just exploded, right in front of us”. So they answered some questions – the creepy kid Walt got kidnapped (I totally called it) by the “others” – who have a working boat and look like pirates. They shot Sawyer and the Korean guy jumped in after him – then they blew up the raft. Found out that if you have a deep gash – open a bullet, dump the gunpowder on it, then light it on fire to close it. That’s something I never learned in Girl Scouts. I hope Charlie doesn’t start up on the heroin they found on the island…oh please oh please oh please. They opened the hatch and there were stairs and broke off about 2 yards down. I still have no idea what all that could be. Locke is seriously an ass. Hurley was trying to warn about opening the hatch because he saw the numbers and Locke just lit the fuse anyways. That man is possessed! Like I said – good, but not great.

ALIAS – what are they thinking leaving us with the cliffhanger they did? Sydney gets engaged to Vaughn. Irina (Syd’s mom) gets all uppity with Vaughn about being honest about who he is. Sloane shoots his own daughter – Nadia. Syd saves the world. Sydney and Vaughn are driving to Santa Barbara and he tells her that there is something that she needs to know if they are going to get married.

Syd: As long as you don’t tell me you are a bad guy
Vaughn: Well that depends on who you ask
Syd: What?
Vaughn: Well it wasn’t an accident that you came to me at the CIA when you came to talk about SD6.
Syd: What do you mean Vaughn?
Vaughn: And my name isn’t Michael Vaughn

Insert car crash here….

So I’m thinking the car crash wasn’t an accident (because they never are) and who the hell is he then? Poor Sydney – so much therapy, so little time.

As I wrote to Shannon this morning in an email - ahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

BBQ

BBQ was good - lots of fun. I was full from the breakfast burrito this morning and by the time I got to the chicken, I just couldnt go on....I found out that my buddy is going to school in England for her Masters in Event Management. So I didnt even know they offered that degree, something to look into. But I still want to go to USC - I'll be a true Trojan one way or another.

Work is rather quiet....so I'm having random thoughts....

- Orlando Bloom is rather handsome.
- I really hate the song CLOCKS by Coldplay, I dont know why...I just do.
- I cant wait for LOST season finale tonight - like I'm going to make popcorn and turn off the lights to watch it excited.
- I need to make a decision about something and I keep thinking about the pros and cons and the solution is not something I want to do - but its what might be best. Just frustrates me that I'm thinking about it. Sucks having expectations of life and things not turning out the way you thought they would. Oh well, we hope for the best and try...
- I need to buy more skirts and summer tops, I have way too many long sleeve tops that sure came in handy during winter, but now are a bit useless. Unless, of course, I find myself in the Southern Hemisphere in the next few months.

Damn

I need to start actually doing work if seeing if an update works on blogger is keeping me entertained until the bbq starts.

Oh yeah, Scott you better be kidding!

Just curious...

I'm testing something - as always, bear with me....

Thanks Carol

Carol sent me this link last night....I cant help but post it. Ladies...we should be so lucky as to find a man like this...

Orlando in full bloom

So last night was our double movie feature night at the theater. They did a Thank You to the Warfighter and sold tickets for the event for $10 - they closed the theater to the public for this. The first round of movies started either at 545 or 600 - I went with Jacob to go see Kicking and Screaming and my parents went to go see Kingdom of Heaven. We met up during the "intermission" where we were served Pizza and Ice Cream (I also didnt mention the free popcorn and soda coupons we received). So Jacob only liked Kicking and Screaming during the soccer scenes, which really was the only decent part. I love Will Farrell but he's not as good as he was in ELF or Anchorman - this movie was just weak. Rental people....Rental. Found my parents and Jacob wanted to go with them, so then I ran into some friends at the bar at the end of the strip mall - because my friend absolutely needed a drink after watching Kicking and Screaming...so this begins the traumatizing portion of my evening. I walk in and see my friend Ellie sitting with her husband Shane. So I go sit with them and catch up a bit. She has this smirk on her face...and is motioning me to look over at the pool table. OH DEAR GOD! This woman is wearing a bra, bicycle shorts, white ruffle socks with white platform shoes with (not kidding) 6 inch heels. And the best part - she's about 45 yrs old. And not the "Wow, she looks great for 45" Oohh nooo - the "Why didnt your husband/boyfriend/significant other tell you that you look so not right?" Well my friends, thats because we havent seen how the boyfriend is dressed. HOLY FRENCH FRIES, BATMAN! The boyfriend is wearing a sleeveless shirt, white tights (and you can tell he is wearing a thong-no lie, it was hot pink), and brown cowboy boots. Never in my life, did I want to gauge my own eyes out. So my friend comes and sits down with us after his shot and is a bit oblivious. Then when I point it out to him, he's like - oh yeah they are in here all the time (LUSH!) and that during the hot summer nights, the guy goes down to a leopard thong only (insert gag reflex here). So I told my boss this morning and apparently, they own the Silver Dollar saloon up in Johannesberg which is a very popular spot for bikers. I'm not getting into all the other things I found out about this couple. I'm stopping before I have to relive the trauma.

So the four of us went to go see Kingdom of Heaven. Orlando....soooo yummy. I sighed heavily (to piss Shane off) when Orlando didnt have his shirt on and Shane moaned very loudly back. Ellie and I were laughing so hard. Anyways, the movie was really good...really enjoyed it...I'd pay full price just to oogle at the Bloom.

Got home rather late, turns out Jacob didnt want to stay for the second movie so my parents took him home. I got online and played Literati with my friend Juan. I was so money last night - I pulled ahead rather early in the game and ended up kicking his butt. I always have fun chatting with him, we knew each other way back when and got back in touch last year. I spoiled him a bit while he was in Iraq and now he's back. I like our Literati matches - we are both rather competitive and stubborn so it gets fun. I wonder how it would be if we actually played Scrabble - we'd each have our own dictionaries and challenge the hell out of one another...oh and side bets. Didnt go to bed into 1am. Believe it or not, I'm not really all that tired.

Today is a Teammate Appreciation BBQ here at the Hanger. I cant wait -yummm bbq.

Almost forgot...

So at the gym we have a variety of televisions to watch during our workouts and they put different shows on. The one show that is always on is The O'Reilly Factor. This guy is as bad as Dr. Laura. I have to read the closed captions to keep up with the show and last night they had this lady that works at the magazine Ad Week talking about Paris Hilton's new Carl's Jr ad. Oh, Paris Hilton. Let me say that there are a few people in this world that I think are truly overrated - she is sooo one of them. She looks like a giant anorexic chihuahua. Where else but in our society can we reward someone for flaunting her bony frame with pieces of cloth strategically placed, for glamorizing being a ditz (thanks to Jessica Simpson for this one too), and milking the inheritance that her parents created. It has spoiled brat written all over it. I cant believe that Carl's Jr stooped that low, gives me another reason not to eat there...even though I love their Famous Stars (with cheese, no pickles, no onions, no tomatoes). So he invites this lady to talk about it and she starts saying how it was a great marketing ploy because you are paying her to do exactly what she's good ad - being suggestive, because, after all, that is her skill set. O'Reilly (from what the captions showed) said that it was too sexy - blah blah blah....my eyes glazed over I was so uninterested in what the man had to say. So at the end of the segment - without actually saying Shut up...thats what he told the lady. She shot back and said that she only goes on those tv shows for the free publicity...good for her! Anyways - Paris Hilton....so not a fan.

Also watched Elimidate...now these dating shows are like train wrecks. If you dont know the premise, they pick a single (guy or girl) and set them up with 4 people. Then they all go out on a date and the single has to eliminate the people througout the night and end up with one. They should just put porn music to accompany this show- seriously. This guy and three girls went to a club and two of the girls took turns kissing the guy on the dance floor. Then they went to sit down. He asked one of the girls (who he had kissed) what kind of guy she was looking for. She said "Funny, sensitive, someone who can take care of me, and someone who is a good kisser" then she pulls him in and starts making out with him with the two girls on the couch looking on in shock - BOOM CHIKI BOW WOW!!! It was so funny! I need to start watching these shows again. I used to watch Blind Date religiously - then one day I saw an old coworker of mine on there and he went down in flames...I mean BAD! She's like "Go Away" and he kept saying "Come on, you know you want me - please". He kept trying to kiss her and she kept dodging and he just wouldnt get the hint! I was embarassed for him and he made the hall of shame.

A quiet evening...or so we thought!

Hit the gym afterwork - pretty good workout. Went home and had leftovers for dinner, very healthy. Ended up playing with Jacob most of the night. We were watching Emeril (since Jacob loves to watch the Food Network) and he made this giant tortilla thing with cheese and strawberries. It looked really good, I'm going to have to get the recipe and try it.

So I was trying to read The Cat in the Hat to Jacob and he got such a terrible case of the giggles...I couldnt get past the first page without him cracking up. 20 minutes later....he's still laughing. We finally get through the book and I start on the The Little Engine that Could...Yeah, I stopped 4 pages in, he wouldnt stop laughing. I'm sure it didnt help that I was doing voices and changing the words around on him BUT STILL!!! So I started to doze off and ended up getting up and getting on the net to check some stuff out for my mom. My friend Joel in Italy was online so we were chatting a bit then my friend calls me and tells me that she thinks she's called off her wedding. I hate being far away when my friends need me or I need them. I hated that phone call - made me feel helpless. All I could do is to tell her that things will be ok and listen to her cry. So talked to Carol for a while and then finally went to bed - didnt really do any of the stuff my mom wanted me to do, oh well.

This morning is shaping up to be rather busy so I better get crackin'!

UPDATE

Someone is requesting an update....

We broke 1K on the blogger counter...YEAH!

I had Thai food for lunch today, very yummy but they didnt have my favorite - pan fried thai noodles.

There is a double movie feature tomorrow night and someone gave me an extra ticket for free - damn I'm cute.

Its about 96 outside and like 65 inside...Its freaking freezing Mr. Bigglesworth.

Carol has a midterm today - good luck to her.

I'm going to the gym tonight...I hope I brought an extra battery for my MP3, its on its last legs. I cant have it going out in the middle of NIN or Sublime.

I think I know who this person is that requested the update (and what they wanted along with it), but until I have confirmation (due to the anonymous post)- this is all I'm typing. I can be reached via email or cell phone. When your identity is indeed confirmed, you will get the proper update.

Known EVERYWHERE!

Joel freaking rocks! I will now be immortal in Wisconsin.

I dont know how many people are probably rolling their eyes right about now.

The weekend...

I took the Jakeman to the Renaissance fair on Saturday. Damn it was hot...and I mean H-O-T! We finally get there and walked around. Saw the Queen's Joust which was funny - we had the evil French knight who would tell us he loved us (to which we replied "We luv youu tooo!) and would ask us to moon the people across the way. One guy took that literally and jumped up front and dropped his pants. Way too funny. So we walked around some more - found a section where kids could ride ponies. That was Jacob's whole purpose to go to this thing - the pony ride. So he got to ride twice. We walked around and that same area the pony ride was - there were games that kids could win tokens and the tokens could be exchanged for prizes a la Chuck E Cheese's. So when we were watching the turtle races - Jacob got his eye on a fetching metal sword. So after playing a few more games we were ready to redeem our tokens. We were 80 short of getting the sword - to which my child said "Well we can just play more games to get more tokens!" $10 later, Jacob got his sword. So besides that he was totally enthralled with Sand Casting with apparently has something to do with Bronzing - since Jacob was paying attention to the demonstration, he can probably explain it better than I can.

So funniest thing of the weekend - As we were walking out in the 90 some odd degree weather, Jacob start throwing a fit about wanting to go home. Mind you, we had been at this thing for most of the HOT afternoon and so we started to head to the car - as fast as humanly possible. Jacob started up even louder - "Mommy, I want to go home!" I kept trying to tell him that first we needed to get to the car before we could do anything. So we are walking through the dirt parking lot to the massive wall of rocks because my car was somewhere over there. Jacob just kept screaming - like those annoying kids in the supermarket screaming. I couldnt take it - it was reaching the boiling point of him not stopping. I was holding the whole spanking thing back because I knew he wasnt being bad, he was just in a bad mood. I did the only mature parent thing I could think of doing. I poured water from the water bottle on his head and told him to relax. He stood there in a state of pure shock...I was kind of shocked myself. So we kept walking in a sort of solemn silence that could only be explained by confusion. So we get to the car and he says, "Mommy, I'm sorry I got mad." I told him it was fine and that sometimes we just need to take a breath and relax. And says "You're right - I need to relax" and proceeds to dump water on his head. Oh..I laughed so hard.

Saturday night went to my friend's house and then went to Universal today. Rode The Mummy Ride - for the first time. Now, I'm not a roller coaster person, so I was pretty tense the whole time. The ride was pretty short, thank god.

DH and Grey's Anatomy was sooo good! That is all...

ooohhh it so rocked!

I highly recommend paying full price, matinee, or first born (well maybe not first born) to see Star Wars 3. It rocked harder than a bed in a cheap motel on prom night. The movie (story wise) started out a bit slow but when Anakin steps over the dark side - watch out! As it turns out, Darth Vader is not very nice.

Got my manicure and pedicure and convinced a male friend to have a manicure. I wont name names because he's afraid his masculinity will be questioned but I know he loved it. He claimed to be in estrogen heaven and testoterone hell. But you know what - he was a sport. And he loved the hot asian chick rubbing his hands.

So tomorrow Jacob and I are off to the Renassiance Faire in Pomona and then I'm hitting up the Getty on Sunday.

Again with Guatemala

So I'm sure Shannon noticed that they saved Syd's mom from Tikal, Guatemala. We are getting so popular!!! I actually went to Tikal when I was about 12 years old. My dad and I climbed all of the ruins - but the one I remember the most (and my brother will agree with me) was the one that we climbed with the ladders tied to the trees (NOT KIDDING). Two things were hysterical about that...1) my mom complaining the whole way up and 2) the video camera running the whole time we were climbing. Oh it was great. My dad with the action videos - I wonder if he still has them somewhere.

So LOST rocked as usual....ALIAS was freaking awesome. I was glued to the tv screen.

I lost another pound...yeah me!

I've been working on this appreciation luncheon all week and today was the luncheon. Thank god because I was getting a major headache from it not to mention my computer at work was acting up and I nearly asked one of the pilots to take it on a flight and drop it somewhere.

Friday I have off and plan to get a manicure and pedicure and going to go see Star Wars. I'm dragging a friend along who isnt very much into Star Wars so it will be fun.

Good Ole Tuesday Night

Since Tuesdays were usually preoccupied with bowling adventures - I have to find something to do now on those nights. I dont even have The Amazing Race to keep me company. I went to the gym after work and had a nice little work out. Did I tell you that I lost 5lbs? Ok, so that doesnt sound like much at all but I'm not on any sort of diet- unless you count me eating anything I want as a diet. Those whole 5lbs are from pure exercise. I'm so proud of myself. So I'm celebrating with a cheese danish and vanilla latte from Starbucks - yeah me! So I went home and got online for a bit and after dinner took a shower. Ok - so by like 830pm, I was done. I literally laid in bed in my bathrobe until I put my pajamas on at 1030pm. Brian had taken Jacob to Lancaster to the Golf and Stuff so it was really quiet in the house. Jacob (the party animal) came back at about 130am. My dad had stayed up to wait for him since he was up with his new obessession of downloading music and burning cd's.

So, Star Wars comes out tomorrow. I'm going to go watch it on Friday afternoon. I'm going to go get a pedicure and a manicure in the morning and then I'm just going to go the the matinee showing. Yes Scott, I know you have your tickets already and you know what? If they were having midnight showings of it here, I would totally go, but I live in hell and it aint gonna happen. Besides, I'll be happy to spend $5 for the movie...means I'm saving to buy Seinfeld Season 4.

Alright...time to start work.

My Guatemalaness

Survior's next installment will be in Mayan ruins of Guatemala. Thanks to Shannon for pointing this out. Those damn Americans are going to desecrate my heritage! Oh well - nothing some good marketing and bribes won't take care of. I'm actually going to have to watch to see what happens. I'm becoming a reality show whore....

Where does the time go?

So I could have stopped surfing the net at some point yesterday and posted to the blog but always found myself actually doing work when it came to my blog time. So here are some highlights of the past few days.

Got another update from Joel in Italy. The journal of his trip is so entertanining. If you find yourself with not much to do and want to read someone who adores the idea of controlled stream of consciousness with a wacky sense of humor - I suggest this as a good read. I emailed him and asked him to bring me a rosary from Rome. I'm excited - I'm actually requesting a specific souvenier. Usually I tell someone to bring me the tackiest thing they can find, which needless to day shows their taste. I've gotten some great souveniers that way. Carol still wins with this loud Toys R Us cup from New York - it even has my name on it.

My boss got a promotion late yesterday - he made Captain. I'm so happy for him. Too bad he doesnt read my blog to read that. Maybe I'll send him the link to show that I put him in here. Wait...now he's reading this....CONGRATS SIR! Uh, sure I'm working.

Went to they gym last night and I did that elliptical machine again. You know how you are used to one machine and even though its the same type of machine its not exactly the same one - it throws you off? Well that happened and it threw me off. It sucked. Also I realized that Mondays are like major religious holidays. The people who sin over the weekend try to repent on Mondays. The gym is so packed on Mondays and its only Mondays. The rest of the week its back to normal. Just an observation.

I've decided I'm going to compete with Ryan for cooking status. He made a cocky little remark yesterday about how good his cooking is and its on! Just wanted to share. Problem is that he's been doing it for so long he just knows a lot more than I do. Actually I just want him to make more chili. I'm not kidding, its that freaking good. Carol and Hope are supposed to come up at some point, I'm going to ask very nicely that he makes some for when they get here so they can understand why I'm raving so much about it.

Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy rock - thats my new Sunday night. I'm back to watching a lot of TV. Not good. I had gotten out of that habit but noooo they had to come out with quality shows. Bastards.

On a complete WTF side note: I was watching VH1 and MTV this weekend catcing up on the new music since we have real radio stations up here and they kept showing Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl...ok...what is up with the little Japanese brothel that follows her around? I saw these same girls in Rich Girl and now they pop up in Hollaback Girl. They are like her little entourage, its funny! Maybe thats a new accessory that is going to be big over the summer. Screw Couch purses.

Alright since my boss might have actually read this - I need to get back to work.

Nice quiet weekend...

So far its been a quiet weekend. My cousin had her confirmation yesterday and my parents took Jacob down there. I stayed up here to handle some bidness.

Got an email from my friend Joel - he is blogging his trip to Italy. I love Joel - he is cut from the same Alias/South Park lovin cloth as I am. You know how you have friends that like only certain things you like - like I have my sports fans friends or friends like that same tv shows, Joel and I can talk about anything and everything. He's hellacool and I cant stop talking about him at times. One of the things I hate about living up here is that fact that I miss being able to hang out more with some friends - Joel is one of them. Anyways, enough raving about the guy, its not like he's reading my blog to hear it. Here is the link.

Ryan made some chili and I swiped some from him for lunch yesterday. Damn it was good. I even told him it was surprisingly good. Bastard knows he's a good cook so that wont work for him. It was so good, I need to get some more to give to my dad. I think he was making another batch today. Jacob and I need to go visit the tomato plant anyways - we'll go push his buttons to give us the chili! I mentioned to him about putting corn in it and he was shocked to hear that people put corn in chili. Maybe its a southwestern thing - he's from Pennsylvania.

Ok, Jacob just woke up. Time for breakfast. I'll probably be posting the Atlanta adventures later today. I'll need to consult with Carol about some details so some editing may happen. Have a good one!

Surprisingly Good

So yesterday I went shopping to get an ergonomic keyboard and a new chair. I love my new chair for work...its so comfy. So comfy on a warm day the risk of me falling asleep in it is rather high. It took two people an hour to install my keyboard this morning. It was so funny.

SPOILER ALERT IF YOU DIDNT WATCH AMAZING RACE So last night was the last episode of the Amazing Race. I was talking to someone about it this morning and he was saying how Romber should have won because they got on the plane and the airline let Uchenna and Joyce on at the very last minute (probably with some help from AR producers). I say so what. Romber couldnt figure out that the name of the cigar shop was in Spanish in Little Cuba and in the end - would Romber figure out a way to pay the cab driver or just run in to win the money? I say good for Uchenna and Joyce, congrats to them. And how they are going to use the money to get invetro and if that doesnt work to adopt and give their child a good home...awwww. See the reality show whores dont need it. Ok - I'm done ranting about that.

Scott and the Ang are going to Napa and riding a hot air balloon. Let me say first of all, hope you guys have a good trip. Second - going on a hot air balloon is right up there for me on things I would like to do. I'm a tad jealous. I'm on this trip to do things I've been wanting to do - my next thing is to go tandem jumping. Gotta plan that trip.

On a side note - remember my Chicken Parmasen dinner that I made? I had given some to someone who is quite a good chef and he said it was surprisingly good. SURPRISINGLY GOOD! I was a bit shocked you know? That my level of cooking ability was questioned! Actually I'm not really all that surprised he said that but it was funny. Still a great compliment especially coming from him since he's Italian and lives in the kitchen. He also made me laugh the hardest I have laughed since Iliana mentioned "black people food" in Georgia (oh yes, I'll explain that later) when I asked him about a scar he has on his chin.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

So today is my dad's birthday. This serves as my reminder to my brother to call and wish him a happy day.

Went to the gym yesterday and kind of took it easy since I'm still kind of sick. Its not really good to be on the elliptical machine and coughing, but I did pretty well. Only did 25 minutes on the darn thing and the rest of my workout, I just cut out the extra 20 minutes of cardio I would usually do after my strength training. Went home and basically relaxed. Chatted with my cousins in Yuma, Carol, and Hopita. Always a good time.

Now, I know that I've mentioned that my son is one of the biggest drama kings I have ever known. Yesterday he scratched his knee and for the rest of the day, he needed help walking. Not kidding. We think its hysterical but my mom encourages it by playing along so he thinks its ok. I just tell him to get over it - actually he will get over it as soon as the band-aid comes off. Its just so funny to see him ask for help to walk across the room and then when he walks, he walks on his tip-toes. For those of you that know my child rather well, can guess how much he actually is milking this.

On a side note - we have a year to move to Brazil and hope that Orlando Bloom is available to fulfill the responsibilities of a new holiday.

Oh geez

How ghetto does this sound...HOME SWEET HOME!

THIS JUST IN....

Jacob called and said he used the Big Boy Potty all by himself. I'm so proud!

Almost back to 100% - kind of at 92.3%

So I'm feeling so much better. Nothing a lot of louging around and drinking lots of water wont cure -right? So, had a pretty good weekend, considering.

I took Jacob to the doctor on Friday and the pediatrician thinks that either he had allergies, a cold, and then another cold - or had a sinus infection the whole time. So she's treating him for the sinus infection and let me say that the antibiotics has helped his cough so much. While we were there, we were talking about his immunizations and how he was a wee bit behind - she said he could get caught up right then and there and let me say - I hate being a parent at times. And while I was holding him down while he was getting his shots in his poor little thighs was one of them. His face went from nervous joy to sheer pain and horror in like 2 seconds. I explained what was going to happen and how it was going to hurt, but I'm sure he didnt believe me - because why would his mother do that to him? Poor little guy, but I was so proud of him - after he was done, he wiped his tears away and limped to the car. Dont get me wrong - he's still a ham and showed ANYONE that would listen that he got his shots but still he did way better than I ever thought he would.

I got inspired and made dinner Saturday night. Chicken Parmasen and Spaghetti with Garlic and Oil was on the menu. Damn it was good. I even made the marinara sauce from scratch. I bought cans of whole tomatoes and Jacob's job was to squeeze them and break them up. Never...EVER let a 3 year old do that with out properly explaining that they need to keep the tomatoes IN THE BOWL. I was covered in tomato seeds and juice and last night, my mom found tomato remnants on the back door. But he had so much fun cooking.

Other than that, my weekend consisted of me laying in my bed and being rather unproductive. I'm starting back at the gym today - I havent been for two whole weeks - first because of the trip prep and actual trip and then because I was sick. I was reading this article on health and fitness and looked at the chart on healthy weight and where they draw the lines for overweight - I'M CONSIDERED MODERATELY OVERWEIGHT! Let me tell you - I was rather peeved. No matter how hard I try I dont lose weight, I tone up. And for this freaking chart to tell me that I need to lose about 20lbs to be considered a healthy weight, is rather frustrating. So I'm going to to talk to the personal trainer at the gym and get a new game plan. I've been doing what he suggested about 9 months ago and yes I've toned up but havent really gotten the results I had hoped for. Time for plan b! But I swear I'm not going on some crazy diet - thats where I draw the line...I love my carbs. I'll adjust but wont cut things out completely.

Ok - so I plan to slowly plug away at some of the details of the trip. Take care y'all!

This sucks

I'm sick - at least I'm getting a little better, but I'm still coughing and thats what sucks the most. Jacob has a worse cough than I do and so he has an appointment at the pediatrician's office this afternoon. I've taken him twice already but first it was allergies, then it was allergies and a cold, and today its just this horrible cough! I've gotten over the counter medication and nothing seems to help - he's up at weird hours hacking up a storm. Last night we were up watching Iron Chef at 3am. I actually stayed up an extra 30 minutes to find out who won. And its not like the food looked absolutely delicious - some of the dishes looked rather yucky, but to watch these chefs be so creative, was amazing. Mind you it was 3am and I was a bit dilusional because of the lack of sleep.

Thanks to Scott for my Mother's Day wish....what a doll.

Bleh again...

Still sick - but at least today I'm at work. I hope to make it all day but looks like I might be heading home early. Lunch didnt really help my situation, even though I was STARVING!

On a side note - who would ever think that THIS was a good idea?

Bleh

I'm sick - Atlanta got me sick...I'm blaming Georgia. I came home early from work. My aunt had eye surgery this morning and came through just fine. Although now she's wearing one of those metal eye patches, so I was mocking her and asking her if she got a parrot too. She laughed. Ok, going back to bed - I feel like crap.

BACK!

Ok, back from Atlanta - had a great time, wedding was wonderful. I'm too tired to really type out a post with all the details so that will come later.

But here some highlights:
1) Iliana talking about "BLACK FOOD"
2) Some guys in the hotel always running into us in our pj's - at various times of the day
3) The wedding
4) Jacob and the plane
5) The Braves game - including drunk guys arguing with us and Carol being touched inappropriately (AGAIN) in Atlanta.
6) Our hotel room smelling like ass
7) Getting our hotel room changed and the room still smelling like ass
8) The tornado warning and my mom telling us to repent our sins
9) My dad getting lost
10) The transexual at McD's
11) My son being THE DANCING QUEEN at the wedding
12) $ 3.56 for APPLE JUICE!

Ok - I'm sure there is more but those are basic highlights - more to follow when I'm more coherent and able to form proper sentences.

ATLANTA!!!

Carol is watching me type this post. We are at the airport killing time until our fliight leaves...ho hum. Apple juice at Starbucks cost $3.56. Damn my inability to say no to my child. Although the ability to have Jacob throw a tantrum on the plane might be beneficial for some good service. So I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to post while I'm traveling....so this might be it until we return.

P/S Oscar, quit yer bitching - I didnt steal your post I just paraphrased it. RELAX!

EWWWWW

This actually reminds me of a story but still - I think I threw up a little in my mouth...

YUCKY!!!!

DAMN! I guess...

So last night was our last official night of bowling...we played 9 pin No-Tap which means if you get 9 pins on the first ball, it counts as a strike. This one lady we were playing against got a 300 (perfect game) it was cool. The anchor on our team, Al, got 8 on his very last ball and thus only scored a 298....oh it sucked. We were so excited. I did rather well with the 9 pin no tap deal - I got a 121 and then a 124, we can either blame the no tap or the MGD I was drinking. My team was shocked that I was drinking since I usually only drink soda while we play. It was one beer and I was doing really well, they joked that maybe next season I should start early since it might help my game - yuk yuk yuk. On another low and behold moment - sweater guy took off his sweater. Yes I know...I was shocked as well.

Today is Administrative Professionals Day and I've been so busy! I actually ran home during lunch to try to pack since I get the feeling that I'm going to be rushing when I get home, at least this way I have a bit of a buffer. Jacob is screwed with the DVD battery - I cant find another one for the DVD player. He's just going to have to entertain himself with his cars, coloring books, reading books, and me. With my luck, he'll be so excited he'll crash out for most of the flight. I'm taking this book I started reading "The Devil wears Prada". I think its pretty funny so far - but its early, I'm only in chapter 3, plus my mp3 player. I downloaded this song that I've fallen in love with. Its a country song and my friend was teasing me that I've become a hick since I love country now. Its one freaking song! But I swear it brings a tear to my eye every freaking time I hear it. I know...I know...

A wee bit tired...

So I was up late cleaning my room and getting my clothes ready for the big trip (3 more days!!!). I talked to the bride to be yesterday and got a better idea of what the itinerary will be. We are going to be going to a Braves game on Friday night. Now - I have a dilemma...I hate the Braves on general principle because I'm a Dodgers fan. There was an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine receives Yankees tickets and wears her Baltimore Orioles cap and since she's sitting in some big shot's seats, they ask her to remove her cap. I believe she eventually gets kicked out for refusing to remove her cap. Anyways - I dont know if we are going into my friend's company box or what because I refuse to cheer for the Braves and if we do go into his box - would it be disrespectful for me to cheer for the opposing team? I think they are playing St. Louis and I'm all about cheering for the other team...but I dont want to be like Elaine. Help? Suggestions? I'm actually kind of curious what you all might think about this....

OK on a side note - I was up watching Letterman and Farrah Fawcett was on as his guest promoting her new reality show. Let me say that in my humble opinion, she looked like CRAP! I was kind of shocked as to how much I was criticizing her physically. She had so much collegen in her lips that her upper lip didnt even move when she talked. It was a wee bit eerie. Gives me the willies just thinking about it.

What a weekend!

So after a long wait to get my car back from getting it "fixed"on Saturday I finally headed out of town to try to finish up buying the stuff we needed for the big trip next week. So I get to Ontario - went with Carol and Hope to the new mall in the area to knock out some shopping, had a good time. Then went to see a friend in Hollywood and it started to rain - do you remember how much it has rained in the desert...how there are sooo many flowers now....how there are sooo many bugs....and how a lot of these bugs decided to perish on my windshield. Well light rain and bug guts dont bode well for my winshield - I actually had to pull over into a gas station and whip the windshield clean to be able to see. Then today I went to Burbank and hit Barnes and Noble and Ikea. Afterwards I went to Tar-Jay and when I came out with my loot, my car wouldnt start. The dumbass I am left the lights on! So I was calling some friends that are local to see if they could come help (because I'm too cheap to get AAA) and for some odd reason, the car finally started on its own - seriously weird. Then I was jonesin for some Fatburger, but the local Fatburger was closed and I had to settle for Panda Express. Ended up seeing a friend I hadnt seen in like 5 years - it was nice to catch up. Drove home and had to hustle to get ready for the BOWLING SHOWDOWN.

BASIC RECAP - we got our asses kicked. Oh well, it was nice being on top for a while.

Lots of Love Everywhere...

So thanks to Scott for the welcome into the club - I can't wait to learn the secret handshake and stuff. A great big CONGRATULATIONS to Kelly and her fiancee! Its no wonder you were saying he wasnt your boyfriend! We get it.

Today is one of my regular Friday's off and so the Jake man, my mom, and I are heading to Lancaster to look for a dress for my friend's wedding last week in Atlanta!!! I cant wait to get out of town - I'm particularly looking forward to Jacob's first plane ride. I'm glad I'm traveling with friends so they can help me carry all his crap. I'm taking his DVD player and I can use the excuse that HE wants to watch Dodgeball and Grease - I love that my kid got my taste in movies. Next is the appreciation of Mel Brooks movies.

D-Day

nuff said

Scott Rocks - yet again

So here is the direct link to that post that I referred to earlier.

Also - Kelly has a new boyfriend.

SUDDEN DEATH!

Holy Shit - if ever there was a moment filled with excitement, drama, and jubilation - it was the 10th frame of our third game last night. It came down to the wire my friends. As it turned out I was wrong about something ( I know, brace yourself). If we end up in a tie with wins - we have to play another 3 games to determine the winner. The first game was won quite decidedly by the other team- by 60 pins (even though I freaking kicked ass and got a 135 score). The second game - we lost by 10 pins (my score was 91) and the last game we won by 5 pins (I got a 97). We ended up in a tie and we are playing again on Sunday night to determine who will be the champion. When I say that I was humming the Eye of the Tiger - I am not kidding. This is a little inspirational thing that Scott taught me and it freaking worked! Since I cant figure out how to link to that specific post - please click here and read the "Did I Miss The News" post. Then I went home and played Literati (like Scrabble) on Yahoo! with a friend and beat him all three games.

THE SHOWDOWN

Ok - so yesterday I finally finished this big project I've been working on. Its a cookbook for a fundraiser for the children of the sailors that have passed away while in our squadron. I told my boss I was going to add Publisher to my resume.

TONIGHT IS THE BIG NIGHT!! Yes my friends, tonight we go for the bowling championship. We are up by 2 games against the 2nd place team and we play against them tonight. The object is to win 2 games. If we win two games then we locked it up. HOWEVER, if we only win 1 - we lose the championship because they have more total pins throughout the season. Let me just say that we are going to get our asses kicked. These people are so good. And we think they cheat! A couple of their people when they were setting their averages purposely sucked and now they just get strikes left and right. No I'm not bitching (well maybe just a little bit) but its totally not fair if they did that. I keep telling my team that we need to buy the opposing team tequila shots and stuff - maybe we'll stand a chance then. So wish us luck.

A living will

So ever since the Shiavo case, I have gotten into some interesting conversations with people about the whole "What If" thing. I already talked to my brother about him having power of attorney for me since I knew that he was the only one that do what I ask. So in hopes to pass along some words of wisdom about living wills. Hope you find this useful - or at least funny.

FRIDAY!!!

Thank goodness because I couldnt handle one more day at work. Dont get me wrong, I love my job its just been a loooong week with the drama and the previously mentioned sick child. So to celebrate, I'm posting this joke that my cousin Jonathan sent me - yes the freak. Thanks Yona!

JOKE OF THE DAY
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a package of chicken breasts, a head of romaine lettuce, a two pound can of coffee, and a pound of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk man standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this question, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her seven items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Uh...WTF...and what a dumbass!

So let me say that I was going through the local newspaper online and read about how a woman had gone missing and sadly they found her body in her apartment. But the two reasons I'm commenting on the story are (1) in the picture there is a truck of a company that "Specializes in accident and tragical cleanup" How do you come up with the idea to have this business (mind you I'm sure because of all the hazmat licensing and training you need you rake in a lot of dough) (2) At the end of the story, it says that a crowd gathered at the crime scene and they ended up arresting someone with an outstanding warrant. DUMBASS-if you have a warrant, don't go to the cops...let them come to you.

Love is a punk ass bitch

So I have been dealing with work drama and Jacob being sick with both allergies and a cold/flu. Let me tell you it sucks! I want to be sick for him because its making him miserable and on another level its freaking gross having a three year old throw up twice a day. Its so sweet to hear him call my name for comfort and call me at work asking me to come home to read to him - on another I go to work to try not to get sick. Its going to happen but oh well, what can be done...right? The joys of parenthood people.

Ok - so you are probably wondering about my subject line. That show that I have ranted about a bit - STRANGE LOVE - with Gitte and Foofy Foofy finally ended with Gitte going back to Italy to sort our her feelings between Foofy Foofy and Mattias (her fiance). The cat was let out of the bag that she married Mattias about a week ago. Damn - I would have sooo watched these two on another reality show a la Newlyweds - thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, err Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey...yeah thats it. Anyways - there are quite a few things on television that make me shudder and for some reason watching them make out in the hallway just skyrocketed pretty high on my list. So back to the title of the post - they have these little songs that accompany clip collages and one of the songs I'm assuming was called "Love in a punk ass bitch". For the life of me, I cannot remember the lyrics and as soon as I find them I will be posting them because they were funny.

So still talking about reality shows - I was up late one night and caught yet another reality show called FORTY DEUCE about this cabaret show that is moving from LA to Vegas. The show I watched apparently was the first show and introduced the casty of zany characters. So one of the characters has to go back to Argentina (I'm guessing her visa ran out) and so they had to do an open casting call for another dancer. They had an open casting call so all the freaks came out - there was a stripper midget. Yes...a stripper midget. I was in one word - ODD. I dont know what my recent affinity for midgets has been but they have been coming up in conversation left and right. I was telling a friend of mine about this show and he mentioned midget porn....yeah - I know. And the question that is going through your mind - you bet your ass I'm going try to rent on, I'm curious as hell. My brother is probably going OMG! And my cousin Jonathan has probably already seen it since he finds the freakiest things on the internet.

Huh?

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Where do they come up with these things?

CAROL MADE ME CRY!

So I leave town to try to find a dress for my friend's wedding at the end of the month. So I drive down and the massacre begins. It has been a very wet winter so the flowers are in full bloom...therefore there are bugs EVERYWHERE. My car looks like I went through a bug car wash. So I tried to avoid a piece of tire in the road and my vanilla pepsi goes flying into the floor board of the passenger side. I pull over to get as much of it soaked up, but to no avail - the damage is done. We went to the mall and found a cute top and something for the Jake man, had some dinner at Hooters, and went back to Carol's house. CAROL MADE ME CRY. We watched THE NOTEBOOK - yes I have never seen the movie until that night and I followed her advice and took my contacts out before the movie started. OMG - I have not cried that much since this Hallmark commercial about a neighbor who takes a card to her elderly neighbor. I was weeping people - WEEPING. Thanks a lot Carol...Thanks a lot. My eyes were puffy the next morning and everything. I get ready to leave and when I get in the car...I guess a skunk decided to mark my car as part of its territory - ewwww. So then I go to the Glendale Galleria mall to look again for my dress - mind you I hate shopping - HATE shopping. I ended up buying this perfume that I've wanted for a while now and decided to shell out the money for it. I bought some paella from this kick ass restaurant in Glendale - El Morfi. They serve Paella on Sundays only - paella is various seafood, chicken, and rice...oh so yummy. I brought some back for my parents and they were oh so grateful. I said I have a surprise for dinner, dont make anything and my dad figured it out and they called every 20 mintues to find out where I was. They are so funny.

Time for Arrested Development and Desperate Housewives.

Life is too short...

So I get back to work to find an email from a friend of mine stating the death of an old supervisor of mine. I worked in his office for a year - let me tell you that I was shocked...he was 43 years old and died of natural causes (a heart condition). I broke down and cried about 5 times throughout the day. I dont even know why I'm typing this out on my blog. So thats why I havent been up to date on this thing - I've been contemplating my life choices and such because thats what you do when you get slapped in the face with the reality of death. Anyways - I've also been really busy at work, notice how I'm multitasking lunch, blog, and answering the phone? Well duh you cant see the phone and lunch but trust me its there. Tomorrow I have to get up early to help set up our golf tournament, then I'm going to Jess's memorial service, back to the golf tournament, and a comedy show...all on Friday. Not to mention on running on little sleep because Jacob has a cough from allergies that kept me up most of the night. Poor little guy. So I'll be in LA this weekend looking for my dress for my friend's wedding at the end of this month....its fun to spend money!

I'm so tired....

Had a really great weekend...ended up in Vegas, saw my brother and the fam, and won cash at craps. Everytime I walked up to a table I ended up at least doubling what I started with.

So let me give you the important points of a great craps tables for your next trip to Sin City.

1) Good table vibe - if your table is quiet and no one is talking to one another...walk to another table. You need to have the good table chi.

2) If you dont know the shooter's name - give them a nickname. Its always good to get the group behind the shooter if you are collectively calling them something other than HEY YOU.

• When I got there Dick was shooting - Dick was a man of about 65 yrs of age and helped buffer quite a starting bank roll for yours truly.
• Then there was Columbia, this guy who was wearing a Columbia shirt.
• Crazy guy - this guy who had this crazed look on his face...we joked that we were going to take him to a post office to see what would happen.
• Mrs. Crazy Guy - crazy guy's gf or wife.
• Pinky ring guy - are you getting the gist of this?

Then there my side of the table - the cool side:

• John - shot really good and won me $75 on one roll and Oklahoma's life coach (see below)
• Tyler - skater dude that was drinking his screwdrivers like they were kool-aid
• Scooter - Tyler's friend that seriously I wondered what he did because he would put about $250 out on the table on every roll
• The Reverend because he kept preaching about how we need to focus
• Oklahoma - some tractor magazine publisher from Oklahoma who coined the phrase HARD NINE and got John to be his life coach because John kept spilling out words of wisdom - John was no more than 27 years old.
• Moi - btw...if anyone asks...according to Oklahoma I won the Pulitzer Prize in Erotic Fiction.

3) Be loud - people like loud and obnoxious....I was told by my friend that they heard me (specifically) and when the person at the card table they were at made a comment about how loud I was being...they said that someone needed to shut me up - thanks for the love - but I can't help but get excited when I win...$7 is $7.

4) Spend Spend Spend - Just keep putting money on the table and always get odds on the pass line bet...it pays 2 to 1.

Thats my recap. My mom recorded Desperate Housewives so I'm going to go watch it. CAN'T WAIT!

Saw Sin City on Saturday - great movie....full price people...full price of admission.