Thursday, June 29, 2006

Does this mean I should make more than 3 postings today?

Daily Overview for June 29, 2006

Provided by
Daily Extended Forecast

Quickie:Excessive behavior is a waste of time, especially today. Pare down your lifestyle.

Overview:You inner drama queen is clamoring to get out. Some of these attention-getting behaviors work in your favor right now. Go ahead and be over-the-top. Sweet or naughty -- it's up to you. You better work it!

East Coast Adventure Day 3 - NO FUCKING WAY!

**I know I'm a little delayed in posting it, but better late than never!**

The day after the Deadhead concert, I woke up at noon, partly to recover from all the traveling and because of the time change. I try very hard to adjust to any time change as quickly as possible in order to get the most out of my trip.

Since it was lunchtime, Captain Tivo decided to take me around the city and first stop was to eat. See - this is how you treat a visitor, you take them to what they want! I have to say that with certain things - I can be a rather picky eater. Since pizza is one of my favorite foods, I can get rather snotty about it. But by god, this was the best fucking pizza I have ever had in my life. It was a bruchetta pizza and it was so good that I called my mom while I was eating it to rave about it. Of course she asked me to bring her some, but its not like its Pollo Campero or anything...geez. (Pollo Campero is this friend chicken from central america that puts KFC to shame)

So off on the sightseeing we went. Thats one thing I love about a new place, just driving around and seeing whats there. I love seeing the types of houses, the types of shops, everything. As we were turning down the road/highway, I notice this sign to the right. I did a double take to make sure because I couldnt believe what I saw. The name on the sign was "At Your Service" and it was a personal assistant business. You may think, "Whats the big deal about that?" Well the big deal is that about 2 years ago, for my marketing degree, I created THAT EXACT SAME BUSINESS for a class project. I made up the name, the mission statement, the slogan, the marketing plan - EVERYTHING! I could not believe my eyes. For the rest of the trip, I couldnt get passed it and everytime I was able to work it into the conversation I did.

"So Melissa, what do you do?"
"I work for a psychic company, but if thats not interesting enough, some lady in your town stole my fictional business!"

Question of the Day


Is it

1) Illegal
2) Not PC
3) Just plain wrong

to throw something at a bird that wakes you up before dawn?

I'm going with #2... because I dont want to get a ticket.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

What happened to the PROTECT part or Fine Anna - Are You Happy Now?

Last night - I saw a police officer in his vehicle hit a guy on a bicycle. No, I'm not kidding and no, I didn't stop. Lets just say that I had a vision that Vic Mackey was the one that hit the guy and I just wasnt interested in getting involved. I've been watching way too much The Shield.

Back to the story, I was driving to go pick up the Jakeman (real reason I wasnt stopping) and while driving down the road, I saw a cop car pulling out of a driveway - so immediately slowed down. Then I saw what looked like trash go flying up into the air. I was hoping that the cop would get out of his car and pick up the trash - then I realized that the paper that went flying, was not paper, but this guys leg. And the trash can wasnt a trash can but his bike.

First thing I did was call Anna, because she was sure as shit going to be in shock about this as I was.

I'm sure the guy was fine...I saw the cop get out and check on him.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'm soooo becoming a fan!

I admired the Dixie Chicks when they voiced their opinion of Dubya during a concert some time ago. I'm totally buying their album to show my support.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Bye Bye Mighty

The Ducks unveiled their new look:

So they arent "Mighty" anymore - they look gay now.

And I'm still not intimidated.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Time Flies...

Because of the lack of posts - things have been going on and I've neglected to talk about them on the blog...lets see - quick recap:

Canes are the Stanley Cup Champions!


I dont know about you, I Tivo'd Game 7 and I was riveted! I had to wait for commercial breaks to get my laundry and go to the bathroom. The Oilers put up one hell of a comeback but they barely missed the boat. That is what hockey is about and I hope next year is just as good.

So this picture is really funny to me:


Pronger just lays into Recchi and the lady behind the glass is indifferent.

Miami Wins!

I'm happy for Shaq, Pat Riley, and the rest of the Miami Heat team - take that Kobe! Other than that, I could give a rat's ass - moving on.

95% of the time

Went out with some friend's to celebrate Iliana's birthday last weekend..I'm sober 95% of the time. That night was not one of them. Good times and now I'm being quoted on freaking myspace - GREAT!


Saw Nacho Libre last weekend - highly recommended as a good time. Especially with a 4 yr old you have to bribe not to see Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties.

America's Got Talent!

Seriously - this is the new car crash show to watch. Tivo has been programmed with the season pass. Also got passes on The 4400 and Saved. Gotta love summer programming!

I know...I know

Yes, I have lacked in the posting dept. I have been busy at work (my #1 place to post) and at home (the alternate).

Work has been crazy busy. Three people left the company (2 by choice, 1 not) in one week and we hired 3 the following week - so I've been rather preoccupied with that. Not to mention, my 2nd job as the facilities person has gotten a new project to deal with and well - yours truly is actually starting to lose her mind. In addition, the brand new soda machine I got for the office has broken down 3 times in 2 weeks. I swear, if one more person makes a wisecrack about it, I will tell them EXACTLY where they can put that soda.

Its my blog - I do get to rant - did you check the address? Ok, I'm done.

So that covers work - now on to home.

I'm still adjusting to the Jakeman being here. You would ask yourself "Why would she need to adjust? She should just be able to tell him what to do and be done with it" A-HA! You havent met my kid. One day I let him stay home from school because he made such a great argument about not going (including bullies, the lack of time he and I spend together, and the fact that I break his heart anytime I leave him there - no not kidding). I couldnt counter with anything - he had me. Figured he had earned one and let him play hooky that one day. Yeah, school has been a rather hard adjustment for the lad. I try to make it as enjoyable as possible but bottom line is that he doesnt want to be there, he wants to be at home with me...kicking my ass at UNO. But each day is easier - for me mind you - to drop and run.

The 1st day he stayed relatively fine - a little whimpering since he was caught off guard with the move but fine nonetheless.

The 2nd day - the teacher had to literally rip him out of my arms and unhook his legs that were wrapped around my waist. I cried for about 10 minutes in the car thinking that I was a horrible mother because I allowed him to feel like that. I called the school later on and they said he was having a good time (Im sure they say that to everyone)

The 3rd day - ditch day (just as much for him as it was for me)

The 4th day - He stayed talking to a little boy about the movie CARS - but he did this whimpering lip thing he does...DAMN HIM, here comes the guilt again. When I picked him up, he said it was "his best day ever!" Guilt Gone.

The 5th day - teacher had to hold him while he cried in her arms for me, walked out with a twinge of guilt. Picked him up "I'm so glad I gave school a chance! I love it here!"

The 6th day - wrapped around my legs crying - pushed him towards the teacher and skipped outside (ok, maybe not pushed, but I did skip a little to my car)

So everyday is about the same thing - crying in the morning and pretty happy in the afternoon. I just have to get used it and not fall for the tricks. But he's getting smarter about it, that I knew he's doing the guilt thing so I wont leave him at the school. So now, he's starting his crying and pleading in the car. When that didnt work, he does it at home and refuses to get dressed.

Man - this is going to be fun!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Irony? I HOPE SO!

This is the best thing to show up to on a Monday morning.

We found this across the street from our office building this morning. I hope the person who chose to put it there, knew what we did for a living.

P/S If you dont know this about me, I work at a psychic company.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Trying To Make A Good First Impression

Today was the Jakeman's first day in his new school. Wow time flies. I have been dealing with the big change for a while that it almost seemed as if it was never going to happen. But low and behold here we are.

I got up early and was all up for making lunch for Jake's first day. The ole traditional sack lunch. So there I was at 630am making my kid's lunch for school.

Ham and Cheese sandwich - CHECK
Bag of Chips - CHECK
A bag of apple slices - CHECK
Some cookies - CHECK
Some crackers - CHECK
A bottle of water - CHECK
A brown bag - ....

A brown bag - ...?

DAMN! I had no brown bag! My illusion was dying rather quickly. Then I remembered that my friend had brought some wine bottles for dinner last week and the wine was in a brown bag. So yeah! I found a brown bag! But it was quite evident that it was a liquor bag. Then I felt like the teacher would think that I was an alkie because I sent my kid's lunch in a freaking liquor bag and not a regular brown paper bag.

So I did what any paranoid parent would do.

I cut the bag.

Yup, I cut the bag down to a more respectable size.

I dropped him of and he really seemed to like the new school. As I walked out, he was introducing himself to some of the kids. I called the school later that morning to check up on him.

Me: Hi! This is Jacob's mom. Just wondering how Jacob is adjusting
Teacher: Oh, he's doing fine. Adjusting really well.
Me: Great! I was a bit concerned, because Jacob can be a bit of a smart ass.
Teacher: Yes, we've noticed.

HOLY CRAP! Two hours in?!?!?! Must be a new record. Maybe I shouldnt be the only one worried.

Monday, June 05, 2006

East Coast Experience Day 2: Complete and Utter Redemption

During our day hike, my friend and I started talking about politics. Since we are opposites on a lot of issues (not to mention hobbies), its always fun to get into it with him.

Ladies and Gents: Senor TiVo a registered Republican and card carrying member of the NRA admitted to me that George Bush is a moron.

Still gloating.

East Coast Adventure Day 2 - My First Dead Head Experience

After arriving in New York and going on a small hike in the hills near the apartment of my friend, Senor Tivo. We took off for Pennsylvania and where we were going to hang out with his family for the weekend.

Senor TiVo's brother in law invites us to see Dark Star Orchestra, a Grateful Dead tribute band, at Penn's Peak. Let me state that until that night - the only things I knew about the Grateful Dead are:
1) Jerry Garcia is the lead singer
2) there is an ice cream named for Jerry Garcia from Ben and Jerry's
3) The Dead is Mr. G's favorite band.

Thats it.

Oh yeah, and the whole drug scene. So Senor TiVo is trying to convince me to go - I'm tired and since I dont know what to expect, I agree to go with a disclaimer that I am tired and may not be in the greatest mood. But I forge ahead since I'm trying to have an open mind and be out of my "bubble". So off to Penn's Peak we go. Penn's Peak is a venue in the Appalachian Mountains. On the way there, Senor TiVo is explaining what the show is about. If you dont know, this band, Dark Star Orchestra, basically picks a show. For example, September 27, 1976 at Berkeley. (*G, Dont correct me, I'm using an example) and they recreate it. They sing the same songs, they stand in the same places on stage - EVERYTHING.

So I now I sort of know what to expect. After a long drive we finally get to the top. If it wasnt so freaking dark, I'm sure the view would have been awesome. Anyways, we get there and the show had already been off and running for about an hour. We find Senor TiVo's brother in law and grab some drinks.

On with the show... First impression was "Shit, I'm the only completely sober one here!" Second impression, "Damn this band is pretty awesome!" Everyone kept saying how much they sounded like the Dead - yeah, I have no clue, I was just happy I wasnt passing out and asking for the keys to the truck to take a nap in.

Everyone starts letting loose and the best thing of the night were the people on shrooms (or whatever they were on) that got up and did "the hippie dance". My two favorite people were the 75 year old woman and the school teacher. If you have been lucky to hear my East Coast Adventure story in person - then you've seen my interpretation of the Hippie Dance. Good Times

Friday, June 02, 2006

Another Metro Adventure

Question: What do you do when someone has a seizure on your metro train?

Answer: Dont ask the driver for help - they dont seem to care.

Yes folks, that was my morning.

Through some very interesting turn of events, I found myself on the Gold Line train were right before the Highland station one of patrons (who was sitting behind me no less) had a seizure. The train was pretty packed when we hear a *THUMP*. Turn around and find this lady just (laid? layed? lain? laying?) face first on the floor - almost spread eagle. Lets take a moment for a quick description - about 5'7", 180 pounds, dress, knee brace. See, now the spread eagle thing isnt all that interesting, huh.

Anyhoo - so this is when the cool headed people and the panickers came into play. Two people rush the emergency call button on the train (we were sitting in the train where the driver was in). One lady just started banging on the door asking the driver to stop the train. Another lady (sitting in front of me) was screaming (no lie, SCREAMING) "STOP THE TRAIN!! SHE'S OUT! STOP THE TRAIN!!!" Someone standing right next to her, checked if she was breathing (she was) and then went through her purse to see if she had some medical ID card/bracelet to see if she was epileptic. Because now, not only was she face down, she was also twitching. So first aid kicked in, and we left her alone to have her seizure. Screaming lady was still screaming - but she switched to "STOP THE TRAIN! SHE'S HAVING A SEIZURE! STOP THE TRAIN!" I got fed up with her and told her that he probably needed to get to a station so the ambulance would be able to access the train. That shut her up.

So the lady wakes up, totally disoriented, and we are asking her if she's ok, if she's diabetic, history of seizures, things like that. By this time, the train is pulling into the station and the driver comes out. She's standing up and looking at him as if she has seen Jesus himself (and no, he didnt look like Jesus). So he goes into it...

Driver: Are you ok ma'am?
Seizure Lady: Uh huh
Driver: Are you sure?
Seizure Lady: (blank stare)
Driver: Do you speak Spanish?
Seizure Lady: (Shakes head with blank stare)
Driver: Do you speak English?
Seizure Lady: (Nods head with blank stare)
Driver: Why dont you have a seat?
Seizure Lady sits
Driver: Are you ok?
Seizure Lady: (nodding with blank stare) uh huh
Driver: She seems ok...

About 15 people on the train (including me): She's not ok! Call an ambulance!!!

Driver pondering it (I swear)

Coolheaded guy that went through her purse (whom I found out later worked in City Hall): You know, it would probably be in MTA's best interest to call - you know, liability wise.

Driver: I'll call for help.

About this time, everyone grabs their cell phones and start calling work, friends, spouses, whatever to tell them that "Some lady had a seizure on the metro train". Poor lady was still totally disoriented - like she was wobbling in her seat disoriented.

About 5 minutes later, the Sheriff's show up and we are asked to get off the train and catch the next one.

And yes - I called work, and texted like 3 or 4 people.