Thursday, March 31, 2005

Pilates and a 3 year old...

So I bought this pilates video because I figured that doing pilates at home would work out best for me since 1) the classes they offer at my gym are either packed or at inconvenient times and 2) doing funky stretchy exercises are best to be done at home rather in a room full of strangers. So tonight is the night to break out the new video since I was too damn tired from work to make it to the gym for my 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of machine work. So I set myself up to do the pilates thing - and Jacob decided to join me. Ok - so I was laughing so hard at his attempt to copy the routine on the television that I was getting more ab work from the laughing than the exercises. We did an ab work out (well I did, he was pretending he was an elephant) and then the stretching one started and we were doing good until Jacob decided it would be fun to jump on me midway through the work out. Mind you - laying on your back, with your legs up over you head - wait this is starting to sound like a different kind of video....ANYWAYS - he jumped on me and we started to wrestle. I opted to just turn it off and he is now in his "castle" AKA the recliner with pillows all over it.

John Stamos is getting a ride from an elderly, kind of creepy ice cream truck driver...odd yet profound with his advice.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


You have been warned....

LOST - was so awesome we find out who is going to D-I-E. I'm almost tempted not to say Because watching the shOw develOp over the past moNths and sEeing the characters become a part of our little tv family...blah blah blah...there - I did a code thing.

ALIAS - Holy Sh*t! Marshall went on a mission!

Sydney was going to be recognized if she went to meet that bad guy so Marshall went instead and Sydney was talking to him through an ear piece...

Marshall: I know about your operation...Your connections with the Third Reich...
Sydney: Don't mention the Third Reich!

Freaking hysterical!

I went shopping at Mervyn's One Day Sale and I have to put my loot away.

My bursted bubble

You know…my bubble was there…I was pumped about my new found improving average – until I was listening to Mark and Brian this morning and heard about a 99 year old bowler that had an average of 115. On a great day, that’s what I bowl. I did a few calculations and in order to get a score of about that I needed to get 3 or 4 marks (strikes or spares) so my score would get a little padding. So figure this…this 99yr old guy (who has a 7 year old daughter…ewwww) needs to pick up a few spares to get his score. The man needs to aim the ball and lunge it down the alley. I’m going to have to pick up a Rocky training routine like Scott to beat this guy. And its not even like he’s in my league or anything, I think he lives in Kansas or somewhere else. How embarrassing would that be if he bowled in my league? My team would be like “You let the old man beat ya!” and I’m sure someone would make a comment about Viagra. Ok – gotta get back to work now.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


So I have been so busy that yes, I havent even had time to post to my wee little blog. Weekend was good - went to LA to visit friends and family. Took the Jake man to like a Golf and Stuff in Ontario and we played miniature golf with my friend's little brother and nephew. Ok - so I never knew I would be so competitive against two 10 year olds and a 3 year old. I beat them, not by much though because Matthew put up a good game and damn Jacob was impressive, he got a hole in one! Speaking of Jacob - he threw the biggest fit he has EVER thrown. Yes every mother says their kid is the best...but those of you that know my kid know that he's rather easy going so for him to be worked up about something, well its a curveball. Thank goodness Shannon was there - I was tempted to fold and do what he wanted (go home) but Shannon was my rock. Best line of the night: "We are bigger than he is, we should win" AMEN SISTER!

So good Easter - came back in time to see Desperate episodes - FINALLY! Work has been kicking my ass! We are getting ready for a few things - the ever looming Sports Day is this Friday, so I'm bowling in the morning and then in the afternoon its our Admin Officer's retirement ceremony. That night is his retirement bash. Not sure if I'm going because I'm still pretty new but it would be fun. We'll see.

Bowling was good - started out sluggish but ended strong. Team is still in 1st with 4 weeks left...we can taste the victory...

Amazing Race - 2 hr episode and I got home early enough to watch the whole thing. I'm starting to understand why people hate Rob and Amber - when the brother's car flipped they didnt stop to check on them. SPOILER ALERT - I'm so happy Ray and his on and off girlfriend got eliminated. I hated how Ray would put down the elderly couple. I'm pulling for the brothers...I hope they make it.

I love Letterman - he's so funny.

Time for bed - hopefully more interesting stuff will happen tomorrow.

P/S My brother is a poopy head too

Thursday, March 24, 2005

An astronaut, a colonel, and my mother walk into a bar...

The astronaut called me again to say that he would not be able to be the guest speaker at our event. I'm bummed but I was still happy I got to talk to him. In case you were is the link to the astronaut's bio.

I met the colonel in charge of the Marines on our base. We have the funnest time chatting while I take messages for the officers in my office. Yesterday we were talking about Animal House and quoting the movie. I went to drop something off in his office and he gave me a pen.

My mom is a nut. I offered to take her to LA this weekend so she can see my brother and she was hell bent in staying here in town - why? Because she would miss Easter mass. As if our Catholic church is the only one that exists....I swear....the genes that I carry, no wonder I'm nuts.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Running out of titles

Seems like its going to be a catch-all post of sorts...

BOWLING: So remember last week when I was soooo money? The proof is in the pudding baby! (or is it babies?) Every week we get a team standing report that not only lists our standing and group stats, but also individual achievements. I, my friends, am listed 4 times. 4 times!
Mention #1 - 2nd place for Most Improved for the season
Mention #2 - 1st place for High Series Handicap for the last week
Mention #3 - 2nd place for High Game Handicap for last week
Mention #4 - 2nd place for Pins Over Average for last week

That euphoria was sort of short lived...bowled below my average the first game, really good the second game, and right about right the last game. The team is still in first and we won 3 of our 4 games. Life is good...only 5 more weeks left. I'm seriously going to miss this when the season is over.

WORK: So I'm helping out with a dinner party that our squadron is having and we are trying to get an Astronaut to be the guest speaker. I spoke to him today and as soon as I was done, I was "OMG, I JUST TALKED TO AN ASTRONAUT!!" The Chief Test Pilot just laughed at usual.

LOST: Rerun again...New episode next week...WOOHOO!

ALIAS: Shannon sent me an email saying that Lena Olin was coming back. For those of you who could give a rat's a** about ALIAS I'm sure this means nothing...but to us who LOVE the show...HOLY CRAP! Thats it - I'm officially spoiler free for the rest of the season. I dont want to know ANYTHING that is going to happen.

Funny story about my kid: So I bought Jacob's plane ticket to Atlanta and realized that I would have to pay a pretty penny for it since websites dont sell tickets for 3 yr olds. So I made a comment about having to pay "through the nose" for the ticket. Jacob looks at me and says "What? My nose? Why do I have to pay with my nose?" Holy cow - I know it might be one of those "You had to be there" moments but it was hysterical. All day he kept asking me if he could keep his nose...I couldnt stop laughing.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Awww - Peggy!

Everyone needs a Peggy in their lives. I have a friend named Peggy, she is sweet and funny - like a grandma, an aunt and a girlfriend all rolled into one. This is what she sent me not too long ago and let me just say - I'm veh-klempt!

PEGGY: Just not a hundred percent today for some reason. But you made it all better.
ME: I'm like a band-aid...thanks girl
PEGGY: I just love you. You make my day with your responses. Everyone needs a Melissa to keep them appreciating life and enjoying her.
ME: And everyone needs a just made my website...

Monday, March 21, 2005

The dancing...the screaming...the Jimmy

So I went to my cousin's dance recital – it was freaking great. They were really impressive. The funniest part of the afternoon was when my cousin Jonathan was screaming my other cousin Jason’s name. But I mean, clear as day – JASON!!! With the voice cracking and everything…ah family memories, good times, good times.

So there is this weird guy from Whittier harassing me about getting put in my blog. Here is your little mention. Leave me alone ;)

Sunday, March 20, 2005

CAUTION: Do not mix allergy medicine and alcohol

So I went to a Passion party last night. For those of you that don't know what a passion party is, its a party where they sell "toys"...yes "toys". Always fun when you have the right mix of people. I got invited through a friend to the party - so I didnt really know the hostess. So a friend of mine and I went and started to get into it - and since I had been to one before I kind of knew what was in store for the night. So things started and I started feeling BLAH - I mean just BLAH, my nose started to eyes were watery...I felt like I had been socked in the face. Then I ask the one question I should really start asking whenever I go to someone's house that I don't know.

QUESTION: Do you have a cat?
ANSWER: Why yes I do!

I'm allergic to cats...which is a good thing because I don't like cats so it all works out. Luckily some Claritin and Benedryl were found in the car. I took the Claritin and chased it with a mudslide that someone had made me. About 15 minutes later, I was as loud as sailors on leave in Thailand (Ohh, that reminds me of some stories someone told me about Thai women in clubs over there that I will NOT post on this website but will be more than happy to tell after a few drinks - ask and you shall receive type of thing). HOLY COW! I was drunk or something - but I really wasnt feeling drunk. I was being loud, making comments, asking those questions most people would be too shy to ask at one of these parties, you know...being me but a little louder. So the night was over and I was outside checking my voicemail and returning a call and freezing my ass off. It seriously was a flip of the coin on this - either I was outside BREATHING and freezing cold - or inside warm but dying. I kept going back and forth, finally we just left. Came home and I knocked out at about 10:15pm. I woke up this morning at about 730am with what I can only describe as a hangover. For me to have taken a Claritin AND a Benedryl - its unheard of. I'm not one for taking medication - my mom made me such a nervous nelly about certain things (thanks mom) that taking 2 Tylenol in my family is pushing it in the drug department. BTW, I can see Oscar nodding and saying "Testify sister!"

Anyways, heading out of town to see my cousins dance in their annual Folklorico Show. The Jake man is going to love it - he loves to watch them dance. I hope my headache goes away before they start stomping their an auditorium...that echoes....

Where is that Tylenol?

Thursday, March 17, 2005


That is the name of the new restaurant in our town. Its like Benihana's but the food is - if you can believe it...BETTER! So I took my parents and the Jake man there to eat. We ate with an out of town couple from the Bay Area in the desert to see the flowers. Apparently its a really beautiful out there. Ok - so we also sat with two more couples...four girls. Oh yeah. It was one of those nights. At one point, they were teasing one another and started talking really loud about their Magic Bullet and the Rabbit - who is with me on this people? I just sat there because they were REALLY loud and since I knew what they were talking they caught me giggling at their remarks and they got really quiet. OMG it was funny.

Not much - but I got a joke!

Really not much for today - went to the gym last night. Did pretty well and this guy kept looking at me. Always find it funny when people try to flirt (not sure if thats what he was doing but I'm running with it) and it comes off as a bit flat. Anyways - just an observation.

I got this joke in my email this morning - its so wrong, yet so funny. ENJOY!


Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off the pool table---whole!" 'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,"he eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender!" Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I freaking ROCK!

So bowling...this, other than a rambunctious 3 year old, has been a constant in my life the past 6 months. Tonight…I broke a barrier…I found “the pocket”. My average started out at 93 for the night. It’s always impressive when you go up that one magical pin in your average. First game – it was on baby. The rhythm, the slight arrogance…the sheer shock of actually getting spares – 116 my friends…116. We won the first game. The night was off to a good start. Remember – my goal is to bowl my average – getting into triple digits is icing. Second game – strikes, spares, oohhh a double (two strikes in a row) 133 – I’m so money. We won the second game. Third game – I felt like a major league pitcher, on the mound…facing his opponent – with an arm like JELLO. I couldn’t do it – I lost my game…the money had been spent. I still bowled my average…but 7th inning had hit and the relief pitcher had been called in. We ended up losing the game but won the "4th" game. So good night overall for the DRIFTERS.

I had a friend in town – someone who my brother and I had grown up with and had joined the Navy and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, so he talked to some of my friends in various areas of the Navy to see what path he might like. He went with me to the bowling alley and seriously could not believe how much fun we were having. We are the loudest and damn proud of still being #1. Also found out that we get prize money if we end up first. I’m going to be doing one arm push-ups so my arm won’t be JELLO anymore.

YET ANOTHER EMBARASSING MOMENT IN MELISSA’S LIFE: So everyone in my office was gone – meetings, flying, causing trouble…you know the usual. I opted to see if I could listen to my MP3. Our horrible computers only have the USB ports at the front that you have to angle it perfectly to get in. So I ended up kneeling on the floor trying my hardest to get the damn thing in. Fiddling with this thing for about 10 minutes I was getting frustrated…then I hear “What are you doing?” in the Executive Officer’s voice. So I stand up and turn around – to find the Executive Officer, the Safety Officer, and Helicopter Crewman standing there – holding back the smirks. Yeah...not doing that again.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Lets take a quick vote...

What would you consider more embarassing -
1) Constantly screwing up on the elliptical machine that you lose your rhythm and look like a white man dancing in a salsa club
2) Waving hello to a friend as you walk through an automatic glass door only to realize that the automatic part didnt quite work out as well as it should have?

Up with the times...

So over the weekend I got myself an MP3. Yes I know they have been out for a while, but sometimes I am not a big fan of change especially when it comes to technology. Yes, I get frightened a bit. So I managed to download tracks from my cds to the MP3 and last night a friend of mine walked me through downloading through Limelight...Limetime...something like that. ANYWAYS - I had my webcam on talking to someone else and it was frustrating that I couldnt figure out where the files went. Apparently I was making funny faces showing my frustrations. Funny thing about webcams, you dont realize the faces you so often make. I tend to bite my lip and stick my tongue out. TANGENT!! Back to the I showed my dad the website and, quite frankly, I fear I have created a monster. He's so loving the MP3 idea, he's trying to tell me how it would be in my best interest to upgrade and to just give him the one I just bought. I'm sure I'll get one with a bigger memory on it, the one I have is only 128mb - you know, getting my feet wet.

Just for Ryan - I can't believe you had me walk all over crap yesterday.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The joy of musicals

So my mom and I went to go see the Phantom of the Opera today and we could hear this guy snoring through the majority of the film. It was hysterical!! I forgot how much I love the music of that show...although I prefer the actual theater production, its just more impressive. But a good movie over all.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Ok Scott...RELAX

I went to see Robots and saw the Star Wars Trailer...I cant wait. I agree - I hope it lives up to the hype.

Friday...Friday...Friday - TGIF!

So this by far has been one of the longest weeks EVER. By Wednesday, I was ready to throw in the towel. Today I'm going to go get a well deserved pedicure and manicure. Then I'm going to take Jacob to see ROBOTS.

So I chatted more with my friend that found me on myspace and he was a bit peeved that after 5 years all he got was " So an old friend of mine from Universal found me on MySpace of all places." So here goes HI CRIS!!! Thats it - you have to earn your shout outs on my blog - especially since you couldnt remember that you sold me my crappy ass computer (thank YOU very much). Come to think of it, maybe I shouldnt give you a shout out.

I didnt watch the new Star Wars trailer - I was chatting with a friend who was looking forward to seeing it, but we were watching CSI.

Ok - something funny. I heard Jacob wake up and I went to play the hide and seek game he likes to play. So he was hiding behind the bed and I ran over the bed to get behind him to "scare" him. I was going to get back on the bed, I guess I jumped a little to hard because I sailed right over and on to the floor. Yeah, real smooth Melissa...REAL smooth.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


I have been trying to log into this thing for 2 days and it would never load! Let me clear something up - in my post about the mechanical bull...I said that I went out to smoke - I dont smoke, I went out to make a phone call with my friend that smokes. Smoking is icky.

WITH THAT SAID...many little developments...where to start...

WAY TO GO SCOTT! Scott's softball team won their championship - CONGRATS SCOTT AND LOADED!!! See how you were first Scott - thats love man!

MY KID: The Jake man is nuts. I gave him a bath on Monday night and for some reason, probably he was tired, he was so against me washing his hair. I never EVER in my life wanted to get a hose to rinse him off. Until that night...THEN I take him out to dry him off and get him ready for bed and he wants to go back in to the tub! It was drama...let me tell you. Then today I guess he went with my parents to the library and he fell. OMG he has been Mister Drama King all freaking day. Needing assistance to walk from his "injury" and everything. So I was getting him dressed for bed and I took the band aid off and low and behold it was a pretty bad - like I would have been crying (of course I'm a wimp). Not like my sister in law Missy who did her child birth totally au natural AND at home. Damn girl - remind me not to meet you in a dark alley. So we went to Wal-Mart and I bought him a new car seat. He graduated to the one that is like a booster seat but with a back. Its so cool - they have cup holders and everything. He can now keep his Dr. Pepper close to him, since I tend to drink it when I hold on to it. I swear he's growing up so fast.

BOWLING: Bowled my average all night. Won all 4 games - still in first place. We got a new member to our team - he's been there two weeks and I already dont like him. Well I'm sure he's a nice guy BUT when someone tells you how to bowl EACH AND EVERY TIME it gets rather annoying. PLUS I'm usually the only one on my team who bowls their average. You bet your ass I threw THAT in his face.

OLD FRIENDS: So an old friend of mine from Universal found me on MySpace of all places. I've given up on Friendster. I opened an account and forgot my password and have yet to get it emailed to me - and yes I ask for it over and over again, they just dont send it! I even sent in a help request and I got some generic message. OH WELL - to MYSPACE it is. But I will still keep my blog here - I'll be damned if I have to get creative twice. No need. I need to save my creativity for my lit class.

JOB INTERVIEW: So I had a job interview for an HR Assistant job in my old area. Working with the same department different group. I'd like to get it, but I'm really getting the hang of where I am and I really like it. We will find out on Tuesday.

Watched ALIAS tonight. I need to start recording The West Wing while I watch ALIAS. I'm going through West Wing withdrawl. Amazing Race was good last night.

Scott got me all pumped about working out. I'm probably going to start up at the gym again next week. I'm actually going to attempt the treadmill. I never do the treadmill for a few reasons...1) I dont run 2) I'm not coordinated enough to run 3) I tried it once and actually fell down and got taken for a ride - yes like those commercials. I stick to the stair machine where the ability to look like an idiot is self evident.

Ok pretty big post tonight. I'm spent - I'll try again tomorrow, hopefully no technical or user difficulties will prevent me from sharing my little life with you guys.

Now that I have done this - I get to work on my midterms. I love the priorities in my life.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Wrath of the Bull

I woke up at 4:30am in major pain - my neck was killing me. I think I have whiplash. Damn that bull.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The story of my bruise

So my friends and I went to a bar called The Saddle Ranch on Sunset. They are most famous for having a mechanical bull in one corner of the bar/restaurant - I'm sure you've heard of it or at least scene it in tv shows, the two I can think of are Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives. Anyways - so what does Melissa think about doing? DAMN STRAIGHT! I bought myself two rides on the bull. So I finally get the nerve (with some help from an Alabama Slamma) and go see HAAS who controls the bull. He told me that since he works off of tips, the nicer I was to him, the nicer he would be to me (on the bull). Let me say that I have never ran for money in my life. Anyways, so I put some money in the tip jar(only $3 since he wasnt watching) and make my way to the bull. My friends are waiting to the side - cheering me on. I get on the bull, laughing my ass off obviously. Then, the ride begins. I think I lasted 10 seconds or so. I landed on my hip - hard. Then I get up and get back on. The second ride lasted about 15 seconds and this time I landed on my knee. So I'm all excited and I go outside with a friend to smoke when low and behold BOLO from the Amazing Race strolls by. We jump on him asking him questions about the race and how they did it. Totally cool.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Out of town

I'm out of town in LA for a funeral. My friend's grandmother past away earlier in the week.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Computer Phone Calls?

Ok - so the CO was talking about this program that allows you to make phone calls over the internet. He said he talked to an old friend in Australia for 10 minutes and the quality was like he was on the phone. Hmmm....think I may have to download this sucker when I get home.

The funky internet

So I typed this all out already - I hit publish post and for some reason it sent me to error message hell. So I will try to recreate it as best as I can.

Saw LOST last night - I love that show - people need to start watching if you havent! What is up with Hurley's numbers?

We are getting a team together for SPORTS DAY here on base. I'm going to get on a bowling team - so far its the CO and myself. Gotta recruit two more people.

Thats all I can remember...darn it. I'm sure it will come to me throughout the day.

I'm lost in LOST

I love this show. If you are not watching it - start watching! WTF is up with those numbers? Thats all I'm saying.

So yesterday my boss gives me some sign up sheets - apparently on April 1st, there is a SPORTS DAY here on the base where departments create teams to compete against other teams in the command for SPORTS DAY domination. Apparently our squadron did really well last year. I'm hoping to get a team together for bowling - thats my contribution for Sports Day. They even have a competition for Halo 4. Thats how much we are with it peeps!

I'm going to LA this afternoon - my friend's grandmother passed away Monday night and today is the wake and tomorrow is the mass and funeral. She was a very sweet and funny lady. My friend is hurting and it hurts that I cant be there to hug her. Living far away sucks.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Its all about the size of your balls

IN BOWLING PEOPLE - get your heads out of the gutter. So last week I went up a pound and it really has made a difference. I know get in the ballpark to get the spares - not kidding! Usually if its on the right, the balls goes to the left...but now I'm barely missing it. Also must be that I'm finally getting the hang of this "sport". So I bowled above average all night - always a plus, our team is still in first.

Had a nice lunch with 10 handsome burly men who handle explosives - always fun when I hang out with them.

Amazing Race started last night. I'm going to watch it at some point over the weekend, when I can find the time.

Observations - I need a manicure and a pedicure.

Tonight is LOST and ALIAS night. If my brother calls during those two hours - I'm going to buy his of kids a set of drums for Christmas. He always calls during tv shows my mom and I watch then gets all pissy we arent paying attention to him while he talks...H-E-L-L-O, call us before or afterwards. At least he watches the Amazing Race and so when he would call during that it was to mock the contestants - usually saying what I was saying.

Oh - since Anonymous has neglected his duties - I'm tempted to reveal his identity. SO HE BETTER GET TO WISECRACKIN'