Saturday, February 25, 2006


Actually I'm asking that you vote for moi but for some reason I wanted to do a little shout out to Napoleon Dynamite.

I decided to take a risk and enter Madman's Ms. Blogger 2006 contest. Shoot on over to his page and vote for me. You need to have a blogger ID to vote. DO IT - DO IT NOW...You know you want to.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Is it a Virgo thing?

I dont know what it is about today but its like the claws are out! Both my boss and I are in a mood (and both Virgos) - god help anyone that comes to interview for a job today. One person isnt getting past us because she asked to validate her parking - not to say we are really mean but it was the way she asked that made her lose that valuable 2nd interview. So I started to think if it was our sign that was making us all bitchy today - so I scoped out the horoscopes...

MSN says:
Virgo - Sun Sign
You might be experiencing a great deal of emotional confusion today, dear Virgo. There is a debate brewing inside you that is having a hard time deciding whether to pursue the practical, or the more fanciful. Looking to others for help may only add to the pot of confusion that is stewing on the back burner, so take other people's advice with a grain of salt. If nothing seems clear to you, then wait out the storm and proceed when you have a better handle on the weather.

Yahoo says:
Quickie:Healthy ambition doesn't just apply to careers. Aim high in your relationships, too.
Overview:Feel like you won the cosmic lottery? Well, that's no surprise. Everything really is going your way -- from finding the last seat on the bus to free tickets to a concert, expect the unexpected. It will be delightful.

CaliforniaPsychics (the best company EVER!) says:
Certain loved ones could really be seeking your attention today. And you should be getting more appreciation for your own originality and creativity right now. So don't be afraid to express yourself in some highly original and unusual ways. A friend or loved one could be surprising you in some way today.

Daily Horoscope says:
You'll enjoy getting together with your friends. You'll be feeling quite popular! Partners will be on the same wavelength now. Getting independent advice is recommended now to monitor your investments.

I know I know - entertainment purposes only.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


As I was driving into work and listening to Kevin and Bean this morning they were talking about this guy in Iowa that was arrested for kidnapping his wife (along with some child pornography charges). If that wasnt enough - the wife turned over a "Contract of Wifely Expectations".

All I have to say is WOW.

You can get a taste of it from this first page of the four page document. You can see the rest at The Smoking Gun. Do yourself a favor and go read it....right now right now, not later later.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What I Learned From My Favorite Hockey Players

A few weeks ago on a Saturday was the much anticipated "Meet The Players Party" where yours truly and yours truly JR, went to meet some of our favorite LA Kings players at the Home Depot Center.

The set up was really good - there were queues set up where you can get in line to get one autograph and one picture with the players and there was some games and free food/drinks. The doors opened at 1pm and the autograph session was from 2-4pm. I figured I'd show up at 1pm and see how it goes, my thing was for Jacob to get his jersey signed. I love how I have expectations of behavior and such from my 4 yr old.

So here are a few things that I learned that Saturday:

1) When in doubt - get there early and have a wingman!
Because I have never been to an event like this I didnt know what to expect. I took the Jakeman because I figured it would be fun for him and it was for like 40 minutes. Here's the story...we get there about 1:20pm and beeline for Luc Robitaille's (or Robi-tale as Jacob calls him) autograph line. As soon as we get there, they tell us that it has reached its capacity and so we move over to Pavol Demetria's line who is Jacob's other favorite player. While waiting in line we are eating food and just chatting and I'm trying to pump Jacob up about the whole thing (because we all know I was beside myself with excitement, right?) Does Pavol Demitra wears boxers...or briefs? I dont know, but I asked. No not him - some of the marketing crew was going around having the fans ask obscure questions and when put on the spot thats what I asked. God knows where "Kings TV" is - I'm assuming its going to be up on the jumbotron during a hockey game. Hopefully it will show the night I'm on the zamboni - anyone else notice the counter flip to less than 30 days!?!?!?!?

2.) Jacob really doesnt like to have his picture taken.
Here is the story: As much as a ham my kid is - for some reason he kept chickening out when it got to be his turn to take a picture. We waiting 35 minutes for Demitra and when we get there, he decides that he doesnt want to take his picture or have him sign his jersey.

So I convinced him that he could take his jersey off and hand it to players - that seemed to work, but only one of them got to take a picture with Jacob...

That lucky man was Mike Weaver.

3.) Sean Avery is a dick.
I know I really didnt need any proof of this but he left early - so did Demitra for that matter, but I like Demitra more.

4.) Michael Cammalleri is a fine motha-fucka.
I'll be damned if Cammy isnt freaking FINE! Just look at this picture - yeah yeah, it was too late to get in the line...if only...if only...

5.) George Perros thought I was stalking him.
This happened because I love my friend Monica from here to the there. She asked me to take a picture of George Perros and I found him signing autographs with Mathieu Garon (goalie) and instead of getting into the long ass line, you can stand off to the side and just take a picture of them and not with them (like animals at the zoo). So I'm standing off to the side and Perros notices me (swoon!) and asks why I dont get in the line. I point to Jacob (who by now is in a rather foul mood about the whole thing) and tell him that he doesnt want to wait in anymore lines but I was just going to take a picture of him. So he smiles - great picture! Bad focus. DAMMIT, so I take another one...again with the bad focus. By now he's looking at me and asks - "What? Arent you done?" I reply" uhhh, the camera's not working right" I had missed my moment, so this was as good as it got without drawing a restraining order on my ass.

6.) JR Rules!

Seriously do I have to say anything else about this guy? This is my new picture on my myspace profile and yes I told him that it was going on there. LOVE HIM!

7.) Matti Norstrom loves babies!
There is nothing sexier than a hockey player holding a baby (actually there are alot of things but we wont get into it here). He took like 10 pictures with this little girl - lucky bitch.

8.) Tim Gleason is funny as shit.
Like I mentioned before - you dont have to get into the line to take a picture of the players, only if you wanted a picture with them and/or signature. So it was the end of the day and we got to Eric Belanger and Tim Gleason's area and as he was finishing off he saw a couple of us taking his picture, he kept posing and telling us to just sneak in - that we could overrun the security guard. Very funny but I dont know if Perros would have the same opinion.

9.) Dont ever trust the Kings marketing team to tell you the truth.
A few of us got a chance to sneak as time wound down to meet Alexander Frolov. Since my wingman was being bribed to stay chipper (I owed him a King's helmet) I needed to get some responsible adult to take my picture with Frolov. So I ask the marketing guy to take my picture. He said that it came out great! And I grabbed my camera and ran to get some last minute signatures and pictures. I checked the camera afterwards.....BASTARD!

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Weekend Checklist

Bought my friend's belated birthday present - CHECK
Bought myself new jeans (a size smaller - woohoo!) - CHECK
Got a new haircut (and it looks FABULOUS!) - CHECK
Finally saw Transamerica - CHECK
Went to the optometrist and ordered new glasses - CHECK
Got an apartment - CHECK

Friday, February 17, 2006


I straightened my hair and now its raining...back to curly I go, oh well. I have lots to say but being swamped at work has hindered the posting for today - maybe over the weekend if I can get to a computer since I'll be running around in LA this weekend sans child.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Attention 24 Fans!

Scotty poo's post this afternoon about Jack Bauer had me doubled over in don't walk over to your mouse button for this one!

P/S Thanks for the props Scott! I'm not obsessed, I'm observant...and I go on a lot of message boards to verify my suspicions. Last night you almost got a few text messages my friend.

Review Of LOST

OK - my traditional Thursday post - off we go.

The man captured by Danielle gives the name Henry Gale and he said that he got on the island a la hot air balloon - hmm - Wizard of Oz anyone, Bueller, anyone? Uncle Henry? Dorothy Gale? Hello?!?! Totally an other - I couldnt get past that no one asked him why he had a relatively clean shave for being on the island for 4 months in a cave.

The soldier holding the picture of the girl was Kate's stepdad and obviously the girl in the picture was Kate.

After the counter reached ZERO (finally!) there were some Egyptian hieroglyphics that popped up - could they mean death? According to TheTailSection - it means CAUSE TO DIE.

When they showed Sayid the video of the gassing in the village - it said Property of DIA - could it be Department of Intelligence Agency or Dharma Initiative Agency? Hmmmmmm

I just thought this was really funny - here is the link to where I got it from.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

What Happened On The Way To Coffee Bean...

As I walk up Highland to Hollywood this man approaches me - not too shabby looking I might add - he gets real close to me and:
He says "What disease is festering inside of you right now?"
I said "What the hell are you talking about?"
Him:"I said, what is festering inside of you right now? What kind of a disease?"
Me: "An extreme annoyance, go away."

Man, I love Hollywood.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Not in My House!

Ahh - seems like the Kings read my blog and were properly motivated for the weekend! Kings beat the Chicago Blackhawks in OT on Saturday, more importantly they rallied to beat Dallas 6-5 on Sunday.

If that doesnt make a good blog entry, this story will....

I'll be damned if some white trash from Dallas didnt buy tickets behind me for the Sunday game. Now I dont mind a little trash talking between fans in the stands, that is what part of the fun is - but this family of inbreds were fucking trashed by the time I got there (literally at like 1:10pm with the game starting at 1pm). While entering the arena, we hear that the Stars score so the white trash bunch (WTB from now on) are on their soapbox. Seriously whatever - it only matters what happens at the end of the game - right? So the score stays pretty close during the 1st period and when we score our 2nd goal (and take the lead) Mike does his thing, the whole "He shoots, he scores, hey Turco - YOU SUCK!" Well for some reasons the WTB took exception to this and started bad mouthing Mike and called him names. Seriously - when the Stars tied it up, they mocked Mike and did the whole shouting thing against us. There was a huge fight and we ended up on a power play because the goalie (Turco) decided to get in on it and stuff, well the girl behind me started really cursing about the whole thing and I'm standing there with Jacob -so I turn around and ask (tell) her to please watch the language because of Jacob (NOTE: I curse around my kid a lot, to the point where I have to give him a dollar every time he catches me but on top of how disrespectful all around these people were being, I didnt mind becoming bitchy mommy). She gave me a look - this WTF look. Now, its not like she was saying "F-that" and left it...oh no, she put a string together a few times..more like "Mother Fuckers, cant tell any of those asshole shitheads to get their fucking act together" Oh yeah. So she turns to her peroxide headed mother and mullet wearing father and gives them a look. You know how you KNOW people are talking about you? Yeah, thats how it was "What did she say?" "Who does she think she is?" Well there was a goal that was being reviewed and I looked up at that TV's in the pressbox behind my seats to check out what was going on. They said "What the fuck is her problem?" Seriously, I'm not look at them, I'm looking over them, finally Mullet man turns around and says "Oh, she's watching the TV" but by that time, I had had enough. Instead of getting into it with them, I opt to be the bigger person (coward) and move seats (flee the area). Really, it had crossed the line when they were mocking Mike, since Jacob just loves him I couldnt handle him hearing the crap they were saying. So I make a big deal about moving, I didnt wait in between periods, I waiting for the whistled grabbed my shit and moved. Everyone is like WTF happened!??! So I told them and we all glared over at the WTB as we made comments, faces, and was really high school and petty (it was awesome). So now there was a divide because I wasnt the only person that abandoned the area, this guy and his daughter had also left. So we go into the 3rd period and we are down 5-2 - and yes with every goal they got louder and more obnoxious. But Karma has a funny way of slapping you in the face, and the WTB got theirs when our team came back and won 6-5. We would chant TURCO and Jacob would say TURKEY in between plays and whenever we scored - we ALL did the Mike thing. I know it urked them and it didnt help when I said really loud "Damn 4 unanswered goals! That must be hard to swallow."

Lessons Learned:
1. Dont talk shit at the beginning of the game - only matters what the score is at the end.
2. Those little black boxes behind you are called televisions and those things they kept showing over and over again are replays - thats what we are looking at - NOT YOU!
3. Your goalie does suck.
4. Don't mess with anyone is our section.

LOST Fans!

Its a quickie...

Found this link to an Easter Egg in Charlie's dream.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

To The LA Kings

While I get ready to embark on my hockey weekend with not one, but TWO hockey games this weekend, I'd like to make a short statement to the players of the LA Kings...


You guys have been on an 8-game losing streak and as much as you'd like to get to those precious two weeks off for the Olympic break - it pains me to watch you guys give up bullshit goals, not connect on passes, and take unnecessary penalties. So here are a few things you need to work on:

1) Penalties - I'm as much of a fan of taking down the other guy but you guys are getting caught for stupid stuff! I'll admit if Mr. Magoo is the ref then he has a personal vendetta but really be sneakier.

2) The Need to Score - let me say this once...PASS IT TO THE NET! On a power play you guys pass it to one another as if the penalty is something for YOU to kill and not the other way around. In order to score, you need to shoot the puck at the actual net, it ain't gonna do it on its own.

3) SHOOT THE PUCK! Ok, so I lied, I am saying it again.

4) Getting the Lines Back Together - I'm sure that getting the guys back from injury has hurt the dynamic a bit but thats what practice is for. Get it together! I'm having more fun watching the 5 yrs olds crash into one another in between the periods.

That is all.

Tear You Apart

So I have been loving this song since it came out, finally the video comes out and well...

Friday, February 10, 2006


Ladies and Gents - we have another edition of pictures that I'm sure everyone has seen! Away we go...

Hey Rockstar: Did you and Kanga have another "incident"?


You are all welcome...

Thats for Juan


VERY VERY TRUE...$50 on Yo bitches.

Its the new crack for stay at home mommies too!

You're welcome dudes.

Where is the AVON ad for this?

Are you sure? Really?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The New Sheriff In Town!

Last night was a really good LOST episode – Here are some things that were caught in the show:

1) Yes, that was Kate’s mom who was the waitress in the cafĂ© where Sawyer met up with his partner.
2) The manuscript that Hurley was reading actually has a description on Amazon.
3) Just for here and type in gary troup. Gary Troup is the author of the manuscript that Hurley found...Gary Troup is also an anagram for PURGATORY. OOOOHHHH
4) My favorite and a reason why I'm brushing up on my French: When Sayid was showing Hurley how he fixed the radio, he got the French woman and he assumed it was the same looping message they had received before. It wasn't. The message did not loop, and translated said something along the lines of "I need help. Meet me at the Black Rock."

Thats it for now - I actually have lots of work to do this morning.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Word to the Wise

What not to say in a room full of pilots while learning to smoke a cigar...

So, how hard do I suck on this thing?

Friday, February 03, 2006

MOVIE REVIEW: Brokeback Mountain

I finally got a chance to go see the Heathy/Jakey love story. I went last night with my coworker (and new buddy) Rozanne and not only did we have a great time in a secret bar we now are going to frequent, but got a chance to experience the Brokeback Mountain together. Let me say that its not as awesomely great like everyone says it is – well in my opinion. It was good, really good, but it wasn’t OMG great. I think that I’m a rather open minded person and we all know there is a love scene in this movie – and I was cringing behind my sweater when it happened. I think it was because they just put it out there – not a long seductive scene but WHAM! THERE IT IS! So the fact that I was caught off guard I’m sure had something to do with it. Rozanne said the girls next to her giggling also kind of threw off the mood. Now for a not so in-depth analysis of the movie: I tend to agree with Gene Shalit’s review that Gyllenhaal’s character was a sexual predator. BTW – he actually apologized for his review after coming under fire from GLAAD un-fucking-believable, seriously no one else saw that Jack was wanting Ennis to give up his life for him and when he didn’t get his way he went elsewhere to be “satisfied” HELLO!??! Mexico! That’s what predators do – if they are hunting and don’t catch the first game, the go to the next one AND THAT’S WHAT JACK DID! I have to admit that I reached my breaking point (of crying) when Ennis found the shirt. That truly did it. Ranks right up there for me like when Sally Field breaks down in the cemetery in Steel Magnolias and Barbara Hershey asks Bette Midler to take her out of the hospital in Beaches. It was a good love story – I thought that Heath Ledger did a spectacular job in his role, Jakey was good, I don’t know why Michelle Williams got nominated for her 10 minutes in the movie. I wish the movie luck, because it was groundbreaking – but that doesn’t mean that it’s the greatest ever.