Thursday, July 27, 2006

I say Sake You Say BOMB!!

Another successful night at Tokyo Delve's last night. Had a group of friend gather there since Captain Tivo is in town and ended up popping a few Tokyo Delve's cherries that night.

I think we ended up having 4 kegs of beer and god knows how many sakes.

Here is Scott's review of the night.

my review;

sake bombs have adverse effect on me the next morning.
the end

After Tokyo Delves we walked over to Starbucks to get some coffee to try to wake us up a bit, here is Scott's review on that:

don't have fun, they frown on it.
leave the toilet seat down.
homeless people are funny.

When my headache goes away, I might post some more.

Anna - any details to add?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

LA Weekly Is BANNED!!!

You notice a level of quality in candidates depending where you post a job.

As of today - I am not advertising in LA Weekly anymore.

Here are some examples of behavior from my interviews today, remember I grade candidates on appearance, intelligence, and the way you present yourself.

1) Spent 10 minutes inconspicously (or so he thought) trying to open up a mint. Then when he thought I wasnt looking he popped it in his mouth.
2) Had horrible B.O. So horrible that I skipped through certain portions of the interview because I knew he wasnt going to get through me so I can get some fresh air.
3) Forgot to wear her dentures.
4) Spent 45 minutes filling out an application and DIDNT FINISH!
5) When I ask "What did you do from December of 2003 to February of 2004?" got out of his chair to verify the information from the resume and then told me that it was only one month and that he was unemployed. Hmmm... December (1), January (2), February (3) - 3 months man!
6) When asked "Do you have any issues or qualms about getting psychic readings?" The answer was "No, I'm computer savvy"
7) Inquired about his lack of resume - answer "Well, I honestly didnt think I'd need one" After some more discussion about his background I state "See, this is why its a good idea to bring a resume" He blows off my comment and looks at his little cheat sheet card to see what another job was that he worked at and mumbles under his breath, "Damn I have alcohol on the brain."

P/S #1, #6, and #7 was the same person.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

And The Total Is...

Got the total to replace the broken mirror.


It was a Ford Focus.

So I'm reading the bill and the part was $84.32 and the labor was $90! NINETY DOLLARS!!! Hell, I would have taken a screwdriver and done it myself.

Oh well...

No Confidence Vote

I officially have no confidence that Rob Blake will be a strong defenseman this year. Just look at this picture! What do you think the caption should be?

Let's have a contest!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Hellish Friday

Hopefully Friday was the last of my bad luck. Friday was the day that I was to clean out the old office and turn it over to the new tenants. I had scheduled a pick up with Out of the Closet thrift stores to come get our old office furniture. After a lot of running around (I had already shown up to the office once), I was set at the office about 12pm to await the arrival of OOTC.

1230pm Andrew shows up.

1235pm he informs me that they are not interested in any of the stuff we want to give them.


He starts to tell me about their "standards" and shit. Ok - with the week I had been having so far, I wanted to beat that man with a broken arm rest from a chair. He leaves, I call my boss and beg for help. I'm supposed to be out of there that day. We end up calling 1800-GOT-JUNK and they got the job done. Let me say, if you are even in a jam, call these guys, they were awesome. OK - enough free advertisement.

After the day was over, I met up with my friend Eddie at a local watering hole for a much needed (and in my opinion, well deserved) beer. I was telling him about my hellish week and after he proceeds to tell me that this bad luck thing is all in my head - the lights in the bar go out. NO LIE! We actually stayed for another hour drinking and we kept laughing at how alkie that was that even though there was a power outage on the block, that didnt stop us. Good times good times.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Streak Continues

The end of the day was near - all I had to do was get my car and pick up Jake from school, do one errand for work and that was it.

As I back my car out of the parking spot, I didnt realize that my wheel was turned so far.

Also didnt realize that the other car was crooked.

I did however, realize that the back of my car broke the side mirror of the car. A brand new something or other - it was white I think...still had paper plates, noticed that for sure.

Great, huh!

I left my card with the parking dudes to give to the owner so I can buy them a new mirrow. My luck it will cost like $500.

I need to start purchasing karma at this point. Anyone got some for sale?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

All In One Day

Day started out in an interesting manner when the Jakeman decides to tell me that his penis is "getting taller and hurting"

OK - at 730am, what do I do with that?

He's asking me why its happening and what he can do to make it feel better...I seriously dont know what to say. HE'S 4 AND ASKING ABOUT HARD ON'S PEOPLE! I asked him questions that any mother would ask if it was any "injury". Does it hurt when you pee? Does it hurt all the time? Does it get hard at school or only at home. Hell what can I ask? Figured my day couldnt get any "worse" boy was I wrong...

After I dropped Jake at his school and off to work.

Work was busy as usual and I've been trying to catch up on some of my monthly paperpushing duties. About midafternoon someone announces that there is water coming in from the door. The back door near my desk is next to the bathrooms - oh yeah. Pipe burst in the men's room and the water was not only in the hallway but seeping into our suite. Off I go to get papertowels to (try) to block the water from coming in and get the mop to try to get as much of it up. Because I was walking around in the water - I managed to get my shoes and the bottom of my pants wet, then my interview showed up. Greeaaattt. There I sat, in wet shoes and socks. You know when you can feel your socks are wet and there is just not a damn thing you can do about it? Yeah, me during that interview. I wrap it up as soon as possible and when I get back to my desk I opt to borrow my cubby buddy's foot heater. I take my shoes off and try to get my socks to dry. During all this I'm checking my email and find out that someone coming in for a supervisor position decided to take another job offer (bastard!), he was my #1 choice so damn, oh well. Someone comes by my desk and I'm rolling around and end up rolling the chair over my pinkie toe.

Seriously not my day.

Then I get an email that there is a this weird smell by the soda machine (the freaking dreaded soda machine). Since my allergies have kicked it up a notch, I cant smell a thing. I recruit our temp receptionist but nothing again. I get down on all fours to see if something had spilled underneath when a manager and director walk into the area. I seriously have no timing for being found in inappropriate positions at work.

Finally the day is coming to an end and I go to pick up Jake. Last time I was 5 minutes late, they charged me $10 so I was in a bit of a rush to get there. Barely made it - with 1 minute to spare. Then I get on the normal route to get home. God I love having my kid in the car...the conversations, the jokes - the use of the carpool lane. Then as I'm driving down the carpool lane on the 134, a chipper gets behind me and lights me up. I just know that its because he thinks I'm the only person in my car. He forces me to get out of the carpool lane and pulls up next to me and asks me if there is anyone else in the car. I tell him yes (through my closed/broken driver side window). Then he tells me to lower my window. I'm screaming "I CANT! ITS BROKEN!" I'm at a crawl in the regular lane and he's going at my speed in the carpool lane. He asks me again - "ARE YOU ALONE?" I scream back "No! My son is in he car! He's 4 years old!" Now I dont know if he heard me or lost interest but he drove on, and I got stuck in the non carpool lane until the next time the carpool lane opened up.

Time for bed - hoping tomorrow will be better. Probably not since Mercury is back in Retrograde.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Weekend - Things to Do

  • Clean Apartment
  • Return some merchandise to Victoria's Secret
  • Go see Devil Wears Prada or Pirates
  • See Season 2 of The Shield
  • Find source of mysterious smell in apartment
  • Rearrange apartment furniture
  • Babysit father while mother is out of town

Friday, July 07, 2006 can I put this?

My exciting Friday night consisted of taking Jake to Chuck E. Cheese and making phone calls to people trying to share something so incredibly funny that its beyond words.

I'll try to describe...but no matter what I type, I cannot do it justice.

Jake and I arrived at Chuck E. Cheese's about 7pm after a long week and an even longer day. First of all, I never knew they sold anything other than pizza and the salad bar. I ended up order a hot dog for the kid and I got myself a chicken sandwich. No, thats not the funny part.

After we order our food and find a table, we hit the games. First thing Jacob runs to is one of those video game dance machines - you know the ones that a HUGE craze in Japan. Well there is this guy on the machine.

At first I thought it was odd because
1) he was sort of cute
2) he was about 27
3) he had athletic gear on.

So Jake starts getting on the player one side and the guy tells him that he needs both of them (freak alert! freak alert!). I'm intrigued (in that car accident sort of way). He picks some expert level and goes to town on that machine.

Now - I'm not saying he was good - but I'm wondering why this guy was at Chuck E. Cheese's at 7pm on a Friday night, ALONE.

So he's jumping back and forth, concentrating and dancing his little heart out... then...THEN when he finishes...

The coup d'etat

He whips out the water bottle AND THE TOWEL!!!

I immediately start dialing on my cell phone. I tried talking to people in Spanish trying to tell them what I'm witnessing but I cant - I have to wait until I'm at a safe distance to properly mock this guy.

About 20 minutes later...he's battling an 11yr old.

While Jake and I are eating - I notice that he goes to refill his water bottle from the soda machine and goes to the restroom. Here I thought that he was going to freshen up and go home. Oh no...he does not.

He gets back on that machine and keeps on rockin.

Jake and I leave at 830pm and he was still there.

I totally forgot to ask the hostess if he was there every Friday night - so I can get a group together to see him next week.

Is there really nothing better to report? REALLY?!?!

Crow believed to be oldest in world dies

BEARSVILLE, N.Y. - There's no way to prove Tata was the world's oldest crow when he died Sunday at age 59. But an expert on crows says it's possible.

Tata's tale began in 1947 when a thunderstorm blew the fledgling out of his nest in a Long Island cemetery, a mishap that likely led to his long life. Injured and unable to fly, the bird was scooped up by a cemetery caretaker and brought to a local family with a reputation for taking care of animals, Tata's most recent owner, Kristine Flones, told the Daily Freeman of Kingston.

"He was never able to fly, so he became their family pet," said Flones, a wildlife rehabilitator in the Woodstock, N.Y., hamlet of Bearsville, 95 miles north of New York City.

The Manetta family took care of Tata for more than half a century but gave the bird to Flones in 2001 because of their own health problems.

Blinded by cataracts and 54 years old when she got him, Tata was still a wonderful pet, Flones said.

"When you came around him, his energy was very beautiful," she told the newspaper. "It was as if he were exuding or giving off a loving energy."

"It's an incredibly old bird," said Kevin McGowan, an ornithologist at Cornell University who has studied crows for more than 20 years. "They don't live that old in the wild."

McGowan said the oldest living crow he has documented in the wild is a bird he banded as a fledgling and has tracked for 15 years. There is an unsubstantiated claim of a 29- or 30-year-old crow in the wild, but he knows of no older crows, tame or otherwise.

While claims of animal longevity are tough to verify, McGowan said, "This one sounded pretty reasonable to me."

In an environment without predators, communicable disease or the likelihood of a fatal accident, a crow could grow as old as Tata, he said.

Flones said Tata was still active and alert in his later years, to the point each spring that he called out from inside the house to crows outside, often loudly and beginning at 5 a.m. (source)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I keep forgetting this is Anna's only form of entertainment throughout the day...

Hey Anna...

How are you?

I think I am going to renew my seats - are you still sitting in the same section? Oh yes, we've discussed the "we" factor. I digress.

Been busy today.

Sharpened 40 pencils for the owner of the company and am getting ready to go on a hiring binge for two positions.

The pain in my ass soda machine finally got fixed. I actually hugged it this morning.

I had some pad thai chicken today with some spicy as fuck peanut sauce. You know me - I dont likey the spicy. After the first bite I was waving my hand at my mouth and saying "Hot Hot" but no one cared.

Sucks Blake is back - I'm telling you when his contract is up he's going to announce his retirement. Its like we are the convalescent home for hockey players. They come here to make a nice cushion, conveniently get hurt, get a nice tan, then retire or move on. Fuckers.

I had to run an errand and I saw this tranny that looked like he just gave up on the dressing up thing. He had the high heeled boots, waxed eyebrows, thick lips, but other than that, looked rather homeless. Maybe I shouldnt jest.

I think I killed this new pencil sharpner - its making some weird noise.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Wanna Kill Some Time and Pull Out Some Hair?

Try working on this: 100 Riddles of Riddles.


I totally rock and I'm buying myself a drink.


Today's horoscope is so dead on its freaking me out.

Daily Overview for July 03, 2006
Provided by

Quickie: Today offers you a chance to push your plans into high gear. Things are happening!

Overview: Aren't you tired of underestimating your own importance? Is it any wonder that you feel underappreciated by those in a position to advance you? Your self-worth is far greater than you estimate.

Extended: There's a big opportunity coming your way today, so you need to be ready to jump at a moment's notice. Even if the morning's energy seems subdued or even quiet, there will be major things happening all around you as the day progresses. This could be a behind-the-scenes type of situation, so feel free to ask questions and consult the people around you to find out what's really going on. Let your curiosity drive you, and you may discover happy surprises.