Thursday, June 30, 2005

Too good not to post

So this is from an IM conversation I had with Carol tonight - I couldnt help myself, I had to post.

Carol : I was at Home Depot...Lost in between Flooring and Plumbing. When this guy was GORGEOUS came to help and my first thoughts were...Floor me to the groud BABY--I need my pipes cleaned!!!

Melissa: LMFAO!!!!

Carol : Seriously... So he gets us help--I'm with the Mother. And I show my Mom this guy and I tell her--HE'S GORGEOUS!! YUMMY!! So he leaves and out of sight out of mind right, because I looked like shit--let me get away....and dream. So we are walking to another section--paints and we need help..because we are women completely clueless to what we are doing or need...What does my Mother do!!!!

Melissa: No she didnt

Carol : She goes back and brings him BACK!!! I didn't know..I thought I had lost her somewhere else...and I turn around because she's yelling my name ALL the way across the store...and she says, "El te puede ayudar con mas que lo que necesitamos!!" With the biggest smile and look of innocents in her face...Mel, I wanted to KILL HER!!! So he says to me, "So, I guess I do get to help you out more than once today?" I wanted to crawl into the GROUND!!!! I started sweating and I couldn't say a word! And he asked me like 5 hundred times what was it that I needed...HE KNEW I LIKED HIM!!! I couldn't talk!!!

Melissa: I'm dying

Carol : So then my Mother with her broken English starts telling him that I THINK he's cute and that's why I can't say a thing!!!! I think for a moment I truly died...of utter embarrassment!!! And he smiled shyly and said Thank you to me. So he got down some product that I told him I needed from the top of the shelf--grabbed it and got my Mom's hand and as I was leaving--I said, "Thank you. Have a nice day. I wanted to DIE! But I looked like the BIGGEST ASS with her Mother. But wait, I have more..So, we are walking out of Home Depot and I'm yelling at my Mom for doing what she did to me, and I'm putting the stuff in the car and she's laughing at me because she says I'm being silly and that I should have just asked him for his number!!! As if I could just do that! So I tell her to go put the cart back in it's place and I get in the car--MAD! And I'm talking to myself about how ONLY my mother would do that to me and why did I tell her!!! So I see her coming back to the car except...not my car but the car next to me-- and she gets into THE WRONG CAR!!! I was so embarrassed!!! I rolled down the window and asked her, "Mom, what are you doing? That's not my car?" And the man inside the car tells my Mom, "I just got here. I'm not going yet?" She was so embarrassed and I was so mortified by my Mom... I seriously thinks she is losing it..

I'm still laughing.....

You go girl!

Screw therapy - I'm putting this down in my book of knowledge for future reference!


I'm soooo bored this morning. I'm doing my work, I got little projects to handle but even doing them I'm so bored! I got tasked to track down a LCDR in Liberia. I thought this was going to be as much fun as when I had to find the astronaut. Turns out I found his personal email address pretty easy to darn.

Just as I'm typing this out a little drama is developing in the next office. Last week, I had downloaded and emailed The Black Eyed Peas song "Don't Phunk With My Heart" to one of the guys in the Admin office and he played this song to death. I mean people even told him to shut up about it. So the other guy in the office is blaming me for the annoyance. Fine - whatever. So I told guy #1 that we should find another annoying song to really piss them off - so I sent him Mr. Lonely by Akon. Its this song with a chipmunk voice as part of the chorus. He started playing it at 830 this morning, just here and there. The other guy just went off on him - oh this is going to be an interesting day.

And then there were two...

Two shows I've gotten into are coming to an end next week. Beauty and the Geek and Dancing with the Stars.

On Beauty and th Geek - its going to come down to Chuck versus Richard. These two guys just freaking hate each other. Although Scarlett and her boy scout partner got eliminated - awww no more almost nookie for Chuck.
PREDICTION: I think that Chuck and his partner are going to win.

Dancing with the Stars - how much do I love John and Charlotte - a whole lotta! Man they are so good, Joey and his cutie patutie partner got the boot so its a face off between John and Kelly. Kelly's really improved so it will be entertaining to watch next week.
PREDICTION: John and Charlotte are going to win, they rule!

So tomorrow I'm supposed to have a job interview for a position in North Holllywood. So I'll go down, do my thing, and immediately come back - with any luck, I wont get stuck in holiday traffic. I kind of don't want to go since I had sort of convinced myself to wait until October to properly get out of here instead of mickey mousing my way down there but I have to at least see what they have to offer. You never know when good opportunity comes a knockin'.

Scotty boy was talking about just plain not liking someone - for whatever reason. I have my list of people. Most of them deserve to be on there but others, you are right Scott, just irk me for some reason and boom - on the list. in hopes of making this a more visual blog - I'm asking my friends to email me pictures of themselves. I'll take any pics - alone, with me, with friends - just send them in. I need get a digital camera to start documenting some of the adventures that happen to me. So email me at This will also help me start setting up for a new portion of the blog to be unveiled in the next two weeks.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

My Glam Name

I'm all about links today. Find out what your glam name is by clicking here. Mine is Foxi Topaz. I like it!

Yo quiero Taco Bell

So I'm having (yes, I'm multi-tasking) that new Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell. Its OK - not thrilling. Worth a shot to cure the curiousity but share with a friend so you don't have to finish it yourself.

In such a mood

So I dont know if its because everyone seems to be gone today, I'm still half asleep, or plain just dont want to work. So I think I'm going to be posting odds and ends today - so keep checking back.

Three things of note that I'd like to mention already:

I don't know about you, but I'd lie and say I hated it just to get my money back even if I loved it. I'm on a budget man!

Ok - this must totally suck. To be getting divorced is one thing but to find all these things out as well. Shit. I know she's not the first one this has happened to, but she wrote a book AND they made a movie out of it. OUCH!

Of course they did a c-section. ARE YOU MAD?!?!

SWEET!!! Oh wait...

Can you believe it? I'm worth $1,798,960. I actually thought I might be worth more. I may have to lie and redo it.

I love my kid

Last night - I took Jacob to the park. The Jake man loves to run around - he's mastering going down the slide all by himself, you would think that wasnt a big deal, but it really is. So when he went down the slide - the static from the plastic slide would make his hair stand up - then he went to touch the metal ladder and would get the shock. I tried to explain what was happening and then he got a big shock. The drama queen that my child is grabbed him arm and screamed "Mother of God!" Sometimes I really wonder where he picks up these phrases (since I'm trying not to curse around him - especially when he catches me and tells me not to) and how to use them properly. Thats the one that gets me - the proper use of profanity. Anyways - we move on from the slide and eventually get to the swings. I had taught him to swing on his stomach and I guess thats the closest he's ever going to get to being Superman so he loves it. Then he tells me he wants me to swing and that he'll push me. Took me a while to explain the theory of pushing - proper positioning and such. Apparently, he got a little too into it and when he would push he would get closer to the center and next thing I knew BAM! I see his feet under me. Yup - my ass had knocked him down. I immediately jumped off and asked him if he was ok. He was just laying there looking at me as if to say "Why the hell did you do that to me?" The look on his face was so priceless! He was totally ok - it was just so funny. Then he got up and went to stand on the side and watched for a bit. But like the trooper that he is, he went back to pushing. What a guy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I got nothing - oh wait, I do!

So I was going through what happened yesterday afternoon in a somewhat comical daze. I got a call for an interview with a company in North Hollywood - put me back in my old stomping ground. They wanted to meet with me today at 4pm. Well - today at 4pm meant I would have to leave work at 1pm and drive, interview, be charming (blah blah blah), and drive home (since I would have to go to work on Wednesday). I wanted to do it Friday because it wouldn't require me to spill anything about my plans to my coworkers. On top of that I was thinking about setting a deadline of October and just moving then instead of trying to rush it. Ok - are you with me? Great. So the agency that I spoke with calls me for an interview Tuesday at 4pm. I call someone to cover the area so I can go, I cancel my hard to get appointment with my therapist (by now, seriously I dont need it, I've gotten over it), and I tell my boss what is going on because I need to take the afternoon off. After all that...they call back and say "Sorry, they have to reschedule to another day - how about Wednesday?" I told them sorry - its going to be Friday or nothing, I'm not rearranging my schedule all over again. ARRGGGGHHHH Like I said, I found it to be quite comical.

Last night, I was watching this special on the making of Star Wars on A&E. I love watching all the special features and watching a movie with the director's commentary. I'm a film buff, what can I say. Speaking of film buff. My dad and I have a project for the summer. To see all the movies that are on the AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time. I've already actually seen 47 of them - don't know if I should be proud of that or re-evaluate how I spend my free time. So I joined NetFlix and ordered Chinatown. That little sentence just put a smirk on Juan's face - just so you all know. So we were talking about movies and my mom had never seen Casablanca for one reason - she doesnt buy that Bogart and Bergman are a couple because he's too old. I swear - I curse my brother everytime he says I'm turning into her. So I'm going to force her to watch it a la "A Clockwork Orange".

Monday, June 27, 2005

Totally Inappropriate

So these are somethings that were said in my office wonder they cram Prevention of Sexual Harassment down our throats.

Me to the Safety Officer: Wow, I've never seen you in clothes before.
Safety Officer: Huh?
Me: Wait, I meant that your always in your flight suit.
Safety Officer: Uh, can I file a complaint? (jokingly)
Me: No, no -you know what I meant!
Chief Test Pilot: Too late, I'm the witness.

Chief Test Pilot: What kind of icee do you want, my treat.
Me: Um - not sure, Strawberry/Kiwi or Black Cherry...wait Blue Raspeberry, wait - what else is down there?
Chief Test Pilot: Ok you know what - I'm just going to give it to you and you are going to like it!

By the way - they called me for that interview! Stay tuned...

No title - just post.

Hey - how's everyone doin'? As for me - yeah, I snuck out on the blog post because I headed down to LA Thursday night for a job interview on Friday morning. So it turned out to be a long weekend but fun.

Thursday - left town 3 times and kept coming back because I kept forgetting things. I hate traveling in a rush. Got to Steph's house about 10pm - although I wanted to be there about sucked. But at least I didnt get a speeding ticket.

Friday - God knows I love my mom - but she wigs out a bit. I just got out of the shower when my cell phone goes off - its her. First thing out of her mouth (translated from Spanish)
Me: "Uh, because I just got up and I just got out of the shower."
Mom: "Don't yell at me!"
Me: "I wasnt yelling, I was just saying"
Mom "Yes you were, I'm your mother and I'm sensitive. Did you find out more information about that company? You know people put information out on the internet and the kidnap and kill young women. They are traps."
Me: "Yes mom, I found their website and got their address and everything."
Mom: "Well, give the address to Stephanie, you know, just in case."
Me: "Thanks for the faith mom. I have to go get ready"

Went for the interview - they said I might get called for a second one, so we'll see. I didnt get around to eating until 2pm and I was starving - but that starving where your eyes are bigger than your stomach. So I ended up having leftovers later that night. Anyways back to the lunch. I went to Zach's which is this little Italian place down the hill from Universal. And it was empty - deserted even. So I had the little wing of the restaurant all to myself. Yeah me. So I sat there waiting for my food and reading my book - the waiter kept coming in and checking on me (I dont know if he felt sorry for me since he sat me in such solitude). Then he sat this Korean couple in there and I know they spoke English because they both spoke to the waiter in English - but when they were along, only Korean. I found it funny. So I ate and read - and finally finished my book. So off I went to meet up with Juan for an afternoon adventure. Went to Chinatown and had Vietnamese food. Never had it and found it to be rather tasty. Always a good time. Went back to Stephanie and Ossie's place and found Ossie watching the Dodger game. I was all about going at and hitting the movies and sushi, and then - laid down and grabbed a blanket. I was out - I passed out for about 45 minutes.

Saturday: Went to have sushi for lunch with S&O - took me 3 hours to get to Carol's house. Freaking LA traffic. Went to a birthday party. Ok - so moments of the night. Senor Pancho breaking the door down with a nifty karate chop, Hope saying "She's seber, she's seber - why cant I say sober?" and Hope dancing like she was Beyonce.

Sunday: went to see Bewitched with the girls (it was cute - worth matinee price or rental) and drove home. No ticket this time - yeah!!! I've also started to work on my myspace profile. Here is the link to it if you want to check it out. Its still rather dull but I can handle only so many things online at a time, at least I added pictures to that account. If you have a myspace account - hit me up as a friend...I like having friends!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Another quiet evening in the homestead. Watched Beauty and the Geek and then Dancing with the Stars - thank goodness Rachel Hunter was voted off, she was getting on my nerves. Although Carol and I are still curious to see what her tattoo is on her tailbone. Oh well. The funniest thing though - was my brother calling me after they announced the results...I was all WTF?!? I joked with him that he was joining the cult...then he said that his wife (the lovely Missy) had it on when he got home - yeah right. Tell that line to my mom, she's the only one that will believe you.

So Juan got me hooked on this puzzle game called Sudoku. I'll be damned if I'm not going to download a few of these suckers a day to work on. In case you dont know this about me - I'm a puzzles and game fanatic. I have crossword puzzles stashed all over the house for me to do when I get bored or just need a challenge. And there isnt a board or card game that I wont turn down. What sucks is that I don't have many people to play with. I play cards (mostly) with Shannon and my mother in law because they got me hooked, and I mean crack addict (ok, maybe more marijuana) hooked on this game called Spite and Destruction. Ooohhh so fun. I play Literati (although not so much lately) with Juan on IM. And I refuse - REFUSE - to play any game with my mother because she cheats. And not sneaky cheat, flatout cheats. Then she turns around and says "Well I was just testing you to see if you'd notice" Notice my ass - you are a cheater! LIES! That one was just for Oscar. So speaking of games - Scott and I made one up. Its good that we are productive at work. Its a movie trivia game and the object is to use one of the characters and used the plot line as clues.

Example: Your father is obsessed with an old nemesis, a plan for potential world domination, and female robotic guards.
Answer: Austin Powers.

Example: You were once a great warrior, but then you friend died and his lame ass son took over and then you because the new form of entertainment. you were about to kill the son when you realize that his nephew is this kid friend of yours. so you kill him later and die
Answer: Gladiator

Feel free to play amongst yourselves or with yourselves whatever the case maybe.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Pretty quiet night last night. I went out and bought my mom's belated birthday present to calm her down from the night before. I told her that it would be late - but those types of "excuses" don't fly with her. If you didnt plan properly for it -then you failed. I swear Oscar - you better be discovering the next big thing. Oh by the way - Happy Belated Wedding Anniversary- 4 whole years huh. 4 years since we got lucky enough to get Missy in our lives and her family got screwed and got you. All love...all love.

Did you see the news about the Yankees? Holy shit they came back with a fury in the 8th inning of yesterday's game. They won 20-11 and scored 13 runs in the 8th. But as a fan, what got me the most was seeing Randy Johnson - the GREAT Randy Johnson - getting pulled out in the 3rd inning after giving up 7 runs. Ok - this was one of those moments when you sit back and realize that someone is past their prime. I couldn't believe it. I remember watching Randy Johnson pitching for the Rangers and going after the strike out record. Ahh, memories.

So I came in this morning and was doing my usual routine. Log on the computer, start my outlook, check my email accounts, and check Scott's blog. But it wasn't updated yet, so I did a few other things - including sending a mp3 file to a coworker. Ok, checking again...DAMMIT! Not up yet...stall some more. Ok - so I check again a VOILA! Its updated. So I'm reading it and I guess there was a problem with the MP3 file that I had sent and the guy came into my office to talk about it. I swear, I wanted to tell him to take a hike since this was my time to read SCOTT'S THOUGHTS. Although today was Mark's thoughts since he's the featured reader for the week. I thought it was funny and immediately felt the need to change my routine.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Oh Monday Monday...

Pretty busy day at work - since the other office manager left - it has been rather busy. We have someone to help but she's here only in the mornings and I guess people prefer to ask for help in the afternoon. Go figure. So after work I went to the store to buy my mom her birthday card. Yes, I havent been really "with it" lately in the planning department. I felt like one of those guys out on Valentine's Day buying the ugliest floral arrangement there was. Anyways, I find the cards (one from me and one from Jacob) and get in line to pay. I should know by know that the shortest line doesnt necessarily mean the fastest. This lady had a bunch of stuff, which wouldnt be a problem, but the cashier was so unbelievably slow! The people behind me left and I was trying to be nice and be all "Its ok, no problem" (insert fake smile here). Then the lady picked up a ball without a tag on it and said - I want this too. Apparently this was too much for the newbie cashier. She called for help from the neighboring cashier, called a manager....I HAD to change lines and as I'm moving she's yelling - "I'M SO SORRY!" Damn my luck, I went to another cashier whose mother was friends with the ex. Now, I realize there are three kinds of people in your social circle. Friends that are your own friends - no matter what they "belong" to you. His friends that you are cordial with and don't have to like - only put up with. And the "our" friends - the ones that if there is a break up either have to be civil with both parties or pick a side. I can see Scott nodding his head. ANYWAYS - so we've known this kid for a while now and when I get up to his box (a this point, I really dont care, I just want out of the store) here it comes the forced small talk. The asking about my son (who he called Ralph for some insane reason) and asking about the ex. I never really know how to address that. Because you can go one of two ways - admit the breakup (but then have to endure the "I'm so sorry!" and "Things will be ok" looks and sometimes even speeches) OR lie through your teeth and get the hell out of the store. "Things are fine, say hi to your mom for me- bye!" Out the door...Went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. Chatted with my friend Joel - the one who went to Italy and has apparently been back for three weeks BUT did bring me back my souvenier. We had a nice chat about life, relationships, and foods that start with the letter U. I only got one - Unagi. Any other suggestions?

Monday, June 20, 2005

It was bound to happen...

You know, you get spoiled with biweekly 3 day weekends. I had to drag my ass to work today. I couldn't go to sleep last night - mostly because of lots of little things that happened over the weekend but mainly because I wasnt tired. So I went to LA and had a nice time - on Saturday I was in a solo mood and hit the Norton Simon museum - which for as long as I lived in the Pasadena area, I never went to. So there I was on a Saturday afternoon, walking around looking at the artwork. They were featuring Degas - what was this guy's obessession with ballerinas? I didnt realize he was an avid sculptor as well. I'm a huge fan of impressionism so I was in that area of the museum for the majority of the time. I love reading the little stories/histories that accompany the painting - about why they painted the portrait, who owned it, who they were friends with...its just interesting. Its like reading about authors that were friends and how that friendship might have influenced a great piece of literature. Anyways, so I'm walking around and made my way to the 17th Century wing and saw this painting by Jacob van Ruisdale. I don't know what made me look closer...but I swear that two sheep in the painting are fucking. Needless to say, I was laughing all by myself with the guard was looking at me. I can only imagine what kinds of things they overhear since everyone has their own interpretations of the paintings. So had a good time - went back to Carol's and we went out that night. The next morning, I pretty much woke up, got dressed, and left. As I was driving home, I got stuck behind a semi truck going through Adelanto - no biggie but as soon as the truck moved over to the right lane when the passing lane opened up - it slingshotted (is that word?) me forward...just in time for the CHP to see me "speed" past the truck. Oh yeah, I got myself a ticket. He said I was going 73 in a 55 (which I know is BS because I couldnt be going any faster than the truck that was JUST in front of me). So I gave him my information and he asked me what had happened and I explained about the truck and the slingshot effect... and he goes "Yeah that sucks. Sign here" He also told me that since I was being so nice to him, he knocked it down to 65 in a 55. Yeah me. I asked him if he was having a bad weekend and he said that it was incredibly busy. But not to busy to catch me! Oh well, for as much as I drive through the desert, it really has been a miracle I've never gotten a ticket before hand. So I stopped at Burger King to have lunch and read my book and I ended up sitting there for about 45 minutes...just reading. Luckily a friend called me and snapped me out of it. So I finally make it home and end up - you guessed it, reading my book - The Devil Wears Prada. Damn that book is so entertaining. Info for Shannon - I'm at the part where she just finds out she has to go with Miranda to Paris. Jacob went with Brian to Disneyland for Father's Day so we were able to clean a bit yesterday before the tornado returns today. Ok - work calls. I have stuff to do and I'm not at all in the mood to do it.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Oh yeah....just call me Obi-Wan

So yesterday I had to help an officer with something - like I was saving his ass with something. Part of this something is that he's going to Alaska so in return of "being his only hope" (thus my new nickname...not kidding) he's bringing me back Salmon. Yeah me! I passed out last night...damn I was tired. I didn't win the contest Scott is doing on his blog. How do you have a picture with someone that is your IM buddy. I would have had to go through my wedding pictures - which coincidently is the last time I saw him. So yesterday when I got home, Jacob was all over me to buy him the new batman mobile. But since I get paid today (and I was broke yesterday) I told him we would go this morning. No kidding- I was brushing my teeth and he comes in the bathroom asking me if I'm ready to go get his batman mobile. So we are going in a bit. Planning on heading to LA - probably leaving this afternoon to spend some quality time with my friends. Thats it...I need to take Jacob to the store, he's practically on his knees.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Evander...NOOOOOOO! and We get another one to join the cult

Another quality evening last night. Basically (George Lopez...hahahaha) went home, picked up my mom and took her shopping for Father's Day this weekend - I still have to get her birthday present (OSCAR THIS IS YOUR REMINDER! MOM'S BIRTHDAY IS MONDAY!). I don't know what to get her - I'm opting just to give her cash. Damn I'm getting rather lazy about shopping. Actually its because she is really really picky. She tells us we arent allowed to buy her any sort of appliance for Christmas, Mother's Day, or her birthday - because those are days just for her. So we have to resort to clothes, perfume, creams - ect. May not sound all that hard, but when she sits there and says "Oh...this would really great for the kitchen" You just have to know its just a rhetorical question. My mom - gotta love her. Bought Jacob these pajamas he's been dying for. My kid and his love for Spiderman - will it ever end? At least its Spiderman and not Barney, I'll give him that much.

Ok - so on the TV was Beauty and the Geek, this show is so funny. The gals had to build rockets and the guys had to buy clothes for the gals and then the gals had to do a fashion show. LOVED IT! And one guy was putting the moves on another girl. I bet these guys leave the house acting like pimps. Dancing with the Stars was on - my poor Evander. He got eliminated and I think he was more thankful that he was done dealing with this stupid reality series than anything else. John O'Hurley and his partner Charlotte are still my favorite couple. The joy of it all. Shannon - we got another one hooked on LOST! Its my friend Iliana, she emailed me yesterday about the show and I kind of caught her up. Its hard not to give out too much information.

I was up late job surfing (and chatting with Carol) so I should revise - I was up late chatting with Carol and job surfing. So this morning I feel a bit sluggish. I found out my cell phone didnt charge last night. There is something screwy about my phone - its very tempermental about charging itself. Its like - its forcing itself on vacation. Gotta start work - first get my breakfast going then work. At least today is my Friday - yeah!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Almost Forgot...

A great big Happy Birthday to Juan. Doubtful he'll read it, although when he does, he "questions" what I put (or more specifically don't put) in the blog. I reserve the right to omit certain juicy details.

So Happy Birthday, don't drink and drive, see how I'm saving you from me singing that song? Hope you get everything you want, as you usually do because you do it for yourself. I heard you got a kick ass home made gift....(wink wink).

So Happy Birthday you old man. Yes its only 3 months difference but you are still OLDER.

At my wits end...

Most of you, who actually talk to me in addition to reading the blog, know that I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. The divorce, major work issues - it has lead me to make a decision that I'm really excited and nervous about. I'm moving back to LA. I'm in search of a job (so if any of you can help, hook it up!). As soon as I get a job, I'm out of here. I have been really lucky in having friends that support me. But yesterday (here comes a rant), someone was pointing out my faults and how I got into the situation I'm currently in. Ok - I dont need my face rubbed in whatever is going wrong, I know what is wrong and I'm doing my best to fix it. Many of you know this about me - don't tell me 6 times that things went wrong, I got it. TRUST ME, I got it!

When I went through the divorce, I went to see a therapist. I've been pretty open about that. And I'll be damned if I keep leaving messages for him. I think its kind of funny - "My therapist won't call me back!" I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, but you have to get to the end of the rope to start over. So, if I'm rude, cold, indifferent - I'm sorry (because apparently I was rude to someone yesterday, unbeknownst to me). I'm just trying to deal with my shit. Yes, things will get better, but I need to find the light at the end of the tunnel to truly believe that. To me, that would be getting a job and moving out of this town.

So to those of you who have heard me out - thank you very much. Your shoulder and ears are much appreciated. I dont know what I would have done without you guys being there - especially Carol and Shannon.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Life I'm Never Getting Back

I took Jacob to go see The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. I pleaded with him to go see Madagascar again - but noooo, he wanted to go see the other movie. And since the ex took him to go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith (not kidding) - I obliged. Review: The movie has a nice message about dreaming and how to always dream a better dream, blah blah, blah - but I just started thinking about other things I would have rather been doing, like cleaning a toilet. Would have proven to be a bit more productive. And the whole 3-D glasses thing always throws me for a loop. But I have to admit that I got sucked into the story and wanted to find out what happened to Shark Boy and Lava Girl - the girl who played the teacher's (George Lopez) daughter looked like a really young and tanned Tara Reid - I couldnt get past that either. So I went home, gave Jacob a bath, and put him to bed. Then I chatted with my brother who sends (see Oscar I'm giving you proper credit) me this link for a movie his friend made. Ok - something else I felt I was wasting precious life moments on - and then the dance off begins. I'm warning you now - its about 15 minutes long, but gets funny towards the end. Might be inappropriate for work so do it at home or shut your door. "The nads are beating up the punks!" Yeah, it was pretty funny.

Tonight is Fire Me, Please. Watch it - its so funny! Well, hopefully it will be as funny as it was last week. Time for work...boss is away at the other base and its time to play...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

My weekend in LA LA Land

Alright - so I have a knack for having interesting adventures. And this weekend was not an exception. So here is the run down...

Friday: got up really freaking early to take Ryan to the airport. I always have this fear when I travel that I wont have enough time, especially when dealing with traffic on the 405. So I get up about 5:00am and picked up Ryan at 5:45am - since I told him 5:30am, I was right on time. I had to have him there at 9:30am and off we went. I actually had him there at 830am. So I dropped him off and since everyone I knew was working...I did the only other thing I could think of wanting to do that morning. I went to the beach. I hadnt gone to the beach in a looong time, so I was rather excited. I made my way to Manhattan Beach and took my MP3 to enjoy the solitude. So as I was walking to beach - I saw a homeless man sleeping on the sand...awww - with his ass hanging out of his pants...ewww. I wonder if its because he wants it to get tanned - just curious. Anyways, I called Carol and made plans to meet her before she headed off to work and went with her. Carol is an activities coordinator for kids center (more on that later). So as I made my way from Manhattan Beach to Fontana, I called my friend Jim to see how he was and he was getting lunch and invited me. So we met up and started catching up. Then came the topic of conversation that I have been talking about all weekend long. Jim works with iron - iron fences, iron staircases..ect. But what he has also made are bondage beds. Oh yeah, bondage beds. I couldn't get past the topic. So I asked my questions and told him that I have the right to ask more questions. So I made my way to Carol's and went with her to her work. It was movie day and we were watching "The Day After Tomorrow". Carol has told me stories about her kids...not that I never believed them...but damn! This kids are sharp and keep her on her toes. The funniest thing that happened was when a couple was making out in the movie and Moses screamed "They are about to fornicate!" Oh man, I was doubled over laughing so hard. So we went back to her house and started cleaning for her little sister's birthday party on Saturday night. I was so tired I basically passed out while Carol was redecorating her bedroom. AllI could hear was her hammering and then fade to black....

Saturday: woke up relatively early, had breakfast and headed out. I had an appt at 1230pm which lasted about 5 minutes. So I had to meet Stephanie at 4pm at Universal for the Dodgers game and had about 3 hours to kill. So I made my way to North Hollywood and had lunch at Bob's Big Boy. Had my usual - sat at the counter - read my book. It was quite the lunch. So I headed to the mall and went in search for a birthday card. So as I was standing in line to pay for the card - I started feeling sick and I mean SICK. It was now about 3pm and I went to Universal to meet up with Stephanie. I was telling her how sick I got and she told me that Bob's had been closed for rat infestation earlier that week. Nice huh... So we make our way to the Dodger game and it was Celebrity game night. Luc Robitaille was playing left field and I kept screaming LUUUUC in hopes that he would hear me. But we were too high up and I was embarassing Ossie, so I yelled louder. We left at the top of the 7th and the Dodgers were losing 5-3. They ended up losing by that score. Then I met up with Juan and went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I totally enjoyed the movie and highly recommend it. And even more so, I enjoyed my time with Juan. I really do miss him and I'm glad to have him back in my life. We had a rockin' and rollin' good time. I gave him his birthday present which was something I made him. Luckily he liked it. And no - you dont look younger than me. The bouncer was too chicken shit to say anything.

Sunday - woke up to the earthquake. Ahhh - good ole California. You know when you are used to the earthquakes when you dont even run for the doorway - but just roll over and go right back to sleep. Picked up Ryan from the airport, had In and Out, then drove home. Its been a long weekend but I had fun.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Ahh, Thursday

Since I’m not going to summer school, I’m doing a lot of other things and not having my LOST/ALIAS night has opened up many possibilities for shows to watch. Last night, we made an attempt to get $0.10 Buffalo wings but by the time we got there, they were all sold out. Darn the luck. So we went to join the chilidog diet and went to the park. Tired Jacob out and went home to watch Beauty and the Geek. Juan raved about this show last week and so I had to watch – it was entertaining. The concept is that hot girls are paired up with geeks. One guy was pretty cute actually and he hooked up with one of the hot girls. The girls had to learn about cars and the guys had to learn how to give a message. The girls compete against one another as do the guys – the girl and the guy who win the challenge each pick a couple to go against each other for a “showdown” of sorts. The couple who gets the most answers right on this quiz on the stuff they were challenged on get to stay, while the other team is eliminated. Last night, the girl of the “hook up” got eliminated (no thanks to her geek he got 3 answers wrong on his portion of the quiz). I have to brag that I got all the girl questions right – I rock at automotive knowledge! Watched my new guilty pleasure “Dancing with the Stars” and Carol and I texted and called each other throughout the night. Trista and her diva partner got eliminated – YEAH! Poor Evander – the guys had to the quickstep and he looked like he was going to fall. What does annoy me about the show is that they don’t play the traditional music. They were doing the rhumba and the band was playing “Endless Love”. Play the right music dammit! Juan is getting into LOST so I was filling in some of the blanks last night. It was funny because some of the questions really didn’t have answers back then (they showed episode 2) and since a lot of the questions were answered its hard to not give out too much information.

I’m starting to notice how dull my site looks. No pictures…ect. So I’m going to be changing it up. Stay tuned. Yes Oscar, this means I might actually have to use the Flickr account you set up for me. I need to get a digital camera to take pictures.

Speaking of pictures…visualize a picture of a huge tree branch in the courtyard of my apartment with the closest tree 10 yards away. The tree branch, just there – in the middle of nothing. No reason for it to be there, there were no drag marks, just looks like it was dropped from the sky. Just thought it was interesting.

I’m taking tomorrow off and heading to LA. I’m taking a friend to the airport and staying in town to run around and get into trouble. So doubtful there will be a post. Maybe this not having camera is a good thing – no evidence!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

No Luck

So those of you that know me fairly well know that I can have some bad luck run around my karma for one reason or another. Lately, its been electronics. For one reason or another, some electronic items wont work or break on me. When I first started here, I accidentally broke the laminator machine - like it was my 3rd week on the job. Then about an hour ago, I broke our shredder. Our monster shredder...apparently the fuse burned after a few too many papers were sent to be shredded. luck, I'm telling you. This is not mentioning that the copier machine wasnt working for me earlier this afternoon. I was copying some thing (about 50 pages) and did it twice (which came out to four times since I was doing two sets) and nothing would come out. So I finally decided to just walk away and do the copies somewhere else. About 45 minutes later, this guy walks in with my copies - apparently someone had paused the previous job and mine had been stored. I swear...maybe I should stay home tomorrow.

Thats the funny thing about working in an office. So many things get blown out of proportion. Here I am just blaming luck for my dumbass mistakes (yes I'm admitting it was all user error) on my blog (rant) and blowing things out of proportion for the sake of a post. What can I say, I'm kind of bored. Most of my morning consisted of me doing a web-based training tutorial for the Prevention of Sexual Harassment. Oh now I know how to properly break the rules for government regulations on that.

Had sushi for lunch...its great when the sushi chefs recognize you. They let us taste stuff. The roll this guy was experimenting with last time is now the house special. I'm doing this thing where I try a new one each time. Today it was the teriyaki chicken roll. Next time it will be the lobster roll. I'm also (wait for it) adding wasabi to my soy sauce. For those of you who I've had sushi with...oh wait that would be Juan and he doesnt read this...Steph? Are you reading this? Anyways, I'm not a fan of spicy, I'm a wimp through and through...but I've started to try the spicy stuff. Awww, I'm getting so brave! Ok, enough rambling, I have more equipment to break.

Move It Move It

You know how sometimes its feast or famine at work? Yesterday was that feast day – holy shit, I was so incredibly busy. I finally finished my non-stop work at 4:25pm when my boss offered to let me go home early, but did I? No….so I ended up ditching the gym and just headed home. After dinner I took Jacob to go get ice cream and stopped off at the park to watch a softball game. So Jacob and I had been talking about Madagascar (Scott’s new favorite movie) and I’ll be damned if he didn’t start singing “I like to move it, move it…I like to move it, move it” Scott cursed me….because I started singing it the rest of the night.

So we got home about 830pm and played for a bit and then I started to watch this show called Fire Me, Please at 9pm. Ok – this show wasn’t the absolutely best thing but I laughed my ass off. It’s a reality/competition where two people get dropped off at the same time at two different jobs for their first day. The object is to get fired before 3pm, if they both get fired – the person closest to 3pm without going over wins $25,000. The rules are 1) you cant do anything illegal, 2) ask to be fired, and 3) tell them you are on a tv show. The owners are involved because they give the show things that will piss the bosses off. It was great to see their buttons pushed. They had hidden cameras in the back rooms and stuff and the coworkers would go in there and talk shit about the contestant. At the end of the show, they showed the people going into these places of business and telling them it was a tv show. I was chatting with Juan while watching that and then Law and Order SVU. Now, LWSVU…I cant even begin to describe what they portrayed on there. Each story takes its own turns and this one had me going in circles. Basically, there was a set of identical twins, boy and girl, and some guy had male DNA on his pp from a bite. But it wasn’t the boy – it was the girl…but the girl is a girl right? Wrong, she was born a boy but the circumcision went awry and they turned her into a girl. She was taking estrogen and everything. THEN – the twins were going to a therapist where the doctor made them simulate sex to “explore” their sexuality. The doctor ended up getting murdered by one of the twins but since identical twins have identical DNA they couldn’t really prove who did it. Yes I realize that television for the most part is fiction – but someone had to have heard something to come up with this idea and it creeps me out that someone did that to his or her child. Juan and I were pretty speechless – it was weird. Played Literati again and he kicked my ass twice. Dammit.

Monday, June 06, 2005


Amazingly enough I’ve just been preoccupied – that’s why I haven’t posted.

I had my usual bi-weekly day off. Took awhile for me to get my day started because – well it was Friday and I didn’t have to be anywhere at any exact time. So I ran my errands and took Jacob to see Madagascar – I should rephrase, he took me to see Madagascar because he had already seen it. Ok, this movie is hysterical! It’s cute and just so funny. Julian, the King of the Lemurs was my favorite character, I about died laughing when he first came on. Seriously, you guys need to watch it at some point, I want to take Jacob again, maybe tonight…more for me because I want to see King Julian again – MOVE IT, MOVE IT! After the movie, we went home and had dinner because we were going to go see a ballet recital of Alice in Wonderland that a bunch of my coworker’s kids were in. It was pretty good – I mean, still a local dance recital BUT there was one interesting point of the evening…the girl (lady, whatever) that did the Cheshire Cat – holy cow…it was like watching some erotic dancer on stage, I was a bit embarrassed. I sat with my boss and his family and I asked him during the intermission and apparently the same thought had crossed his mind. I sat there, with my mouth open and just in shock. I was waiting for her to pull a chair on stage, pull a rope, and have water fall on her.

So I took Jacob over to my friend’s house to water his plants. According to the list, I had to water EVERYTHING – so that’s what I did. I watered EVERYTHING. When he called to ask how things were going, I happily told him that we watered EVERYTHING and that Jacob had watered his cacti plants. To which he says – “You weren’t supposed to water the cacti!” “Uh, why not?” I reply “Because you don’t, I didn’t say to water the cacti” “You said EVERYTHING. Everything includes the cacti, if you didn’t want me to water the cacti you should have said everything but the cacti” Geez Louise….But Jacob got to see his tomato plant and he accidentally plucked off a tomato.

Woke up late and basically ran more errands including the watering. Ryan called to check on his plants and I told him that some look wilted. He freaked. So I was asking him questions about his plants and apparently the way I was phrasing the questions was freaking him out. It was kind of funny. I went off on him because #1 I told him I had a black thumb, even if watering plants is a no-brainer, if someone says “Use me as an absolute last resort”, you should TRUST THEM! I also got snippy because he only called to check on his plants, not to ask about my weekend and me but about his plants. My mom would laugh because she said that she could picture him jumping in his car and driving back just to check on his plants. But Ryan is a sport….

I woke up in the mood to clean. I got up and immediately cleaned my desk – like I was still in my pajamas and cleaning. Ended up making dinner – I totally rock. So I watched the Tony’s and I came to many realizations.
1) I wished I lived in New York so I could see these shows
2) Hugh Jackman is a really good singer
3) Monty Python rocks
4) Christina Applegate has one of those annoying, shrilly Broadway voices
5) They did a scene from the play “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” and I was laughing so hard. I’m putting that on my list!

Then I stayed up way late playing Literati with Juan (I won the series 2-1). He kicked and I mean KICKED my ass the first game but then I came back with a vengeance in the second two games.

Ok – I have to start work. That lady that is driving me nuts has 4 days left and the countdown has begun. She’s making something so simple so unbelievably complicated.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Wednesday Evening Runarounds....

Ok - so I thought that it was going to be a relatively quiet evening since my usual Wednesday night ritual of watching LOST and ALIAS is going into hiatus. But I was a wrong....

Hit the gym after work- nothing really exciting happened except that I realized that the scale is off by a pound. So I thought I had gained a pound but in reality, I hadnt. Yes people, I need a life. Went home to have dinner and shower before going to my friend's house to water his plants. I wanted to take Jacob with me so I could show him how his tomato plant was growing (it has 11 tomatoes on it!). But nooo - he decided to go to sleep. So off I went on my own.

***Plant Update***
Everything is good. Although I noticed some of the chili plants were wilted - but since it wasnt on the list to water....I did call my friend and ask him if plants could drown. Yes they can - but I think you have to really make an effort to do so. So it wouldnt be an accidental death, but murder. Just an observation.
***End of Plant Update***

I had to run a few other errands and then I went home. Ok - I'm admitting that I saw "Dancing With the Stars" last night. My mom and I haven't heckled the television this much in a while. I was a bit shocked to find that Joey McIntyre (from the good ole NKOTB) really doesnt have a lot of rhythm, Evander Holyfield is quite entertaining to watch because of the funny faces he makes, Rachel Hunter sucks, and the guy from Seinfeld (the one who played Mr. Pedderman) was so good! Ok, guilty pleasure, I have to admit. It totally sucked, it was bad television, but it was rather entertaining. I want to wait and see what the people from TWOP have to say about it.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Waaay too much faith

My friend asked me to go water his plants while he takes a very spontanous trip to Seattle "for the hell of it". Good for him...bad for me. I have to go make sure his plants dont die while he's gone. And I'm not talking a couple of ferns - I'm talking tomato plants (sure one of them is Jacob's but I'm overlooking that at the moment), many many chili plants, herbs, vegetables....yes those poor little plants are screwed. He made me a list of what needs to be watered and when. God love him, he did a step by step! To which I dont know if I should really be grateful or insulted....I'm going with grateful - my peeps.

My coworker was driving me nuts this morning. Instead of asking about things, she immediately accuses you of doing it wrong. She's leaving in two weeks for another job, so I'll just bite my tongue and smile. Nod and smile....nod and smile.....

I've been kind of bored at work so far this week. Since a lot of people took time off its rather quiet. I'm still hungry from lunch too.....ooh, I have left over Thai Pan Fried Noodles from yesterday....SWEET!