Sunday, July 31, 2005

Where the hell have I been?

Last week Scott was talking about The Flipper and how I was the only one that called to find out what it was - let me tell you it was completely worth it, but it started me on this mini quest. I realized that I was completely out on what some sexual acts are called. I hate to use the word naive for this but it seems to be the only word that describes it. I consider myself to be rather knowledgeable about this stuff but damn! Not only did I not imagine that these things were actually done but that people actually named it. I bet you it was a bunch of frat boys sitting around Sunday morning talking about their conquests from the previous night and then it comes out that they did something "weird" blaming the alcohol.

So I've been looking around and found some and here they are with the links for the definition. If I'm missing anything of particular interest, please feel free to let me know.

Cleaveland Steamer - ewwwww
Jelly Doughnut Why would a girl think this was fun?
Rusty Trombone
Screaming Churro - there is a reason why doing it on a beach is mostly a fantasy for a girl that has never had sex.
Spider-Man My personal favorite - not that I want it done to me, but its so funny!

To clarify - these are not necessarily things I would like to do. These are some items that I found to be interesting topics of conversation. So...discuss.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Creativity taking a break

We are having a retirement today and I'm going to be very busy. HOWEVER - I do not want to leave you empty handed - after all, you made your daily trek to this blog. I have "Priceless" doo-hickies for your enjoyment. I hope you like!

I actually have a friend that did this and I never got why women do this...I mean if you get lucky what are you going to excuse yourself to rip the tape off?

"Hey you - wanna take a picture? Let me just tuck this in..."

Because I'm wrapping up the whole potty training thing with my son, this seems funnier to me than it should be.

What kind of gentleman is that guy in the yellow - he didnt even offer to hold her purse!

Is that girl dead? Damn how horny was he?

Look at how it ran down his leg at some point... This is just funny...COME ON!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


I've decided to post a bit of a profile for people who are avid readers of this blog. First one to christen this endeavor (lots of big words huh) is KELENA! Kelena and I have known each other since high school and amazingly enough haven't seen each other since then. Email is a wonderful thing since that's how we have kept in touch. We got close to seeing Kelena when we were in Atlanta for Scott and Karla's wedding, but fate had other plans and Kelena got into a car accident - luckily she was just fine. So when her husband Evan gets back from his deployment in Iraq, we are planning to hit Vegas - hear that Evan? You are going to meet the real thing - be prepared! Enough stalling.

Internet...Kelena - Kelena...Internet

1) What do you do?
I'm an Air Traffic Control Specialist in the U.S. Air Force (I love how that sounds) been doing this for about 7 years now
2) Where do you live?
Raeford, North Carolina; stationed at Pope AFB
3) What brings you back to RantsRavesandRamblings?
The witty entries made by Melissa, I can always count on being entertained, shocked, bewildered and, of course, getting the ever loving warm fuzzies
4) What is your favorite RantsRavesandRamblings story?
The Friday, Jan 7th 2005, "What is that white stuff? Could it be- snow" Evan and I read that one like 5 times....
5) What are you doing right now?
It's my crew's scheduled day off, so I'm snuggling my chihuahua Chico, watching the other two (Mia and Lucky) chase each other around the living room and answering this questionnaire

Lucky is white, Mia is the brown one and Chico is the caramel and white one

Kelena - I don't know about you, but Mia looks like she's planning a prison break.

6) Share a secret:
Ha!!! You have to get me drunk for that nonsense.... Vegas we will take care of that...
7) Did you think the toothbrush story was too much? Be honest...
Of course not! consider this, (I did this on purpose, your incident was accidental) when I was single and living in the dorms in Germany, I took my suite mate's tooth brush and scrubbed the toilet with it. I then put it back in the holder in her room and went about my business. It was her turn to clean the bathroom, she didn't do it and wouldn't you know it, we had a surprise room inspection. She was a slob, so I figured that she deserved it....but I'm not really vengeful...really I'm not....LoL You are so wrong...but thats why I love ya!
8) Have you checked out the other Blogs that I read? If so, which ones? What did you think?
I've checked out all the ones featured on your blog. So far I think that everyone of these people lead such interesting lives, it's either that or they're very creative writers! LoL I love to read about other peoples lives, I think that's why I'm addicted to People magazine and US weekly....I love celebrity gossip...but not creepy gossip like the National Enquirer...weird
9) Have you recommended this site to anyone? If so, who?
I sure have. I sent it to my husband Evan, (Who is sharing it with the guys he's deployed with. So now your notoriety has spread to the C-130 aircrew world) told the guys on my crew about it, and my sister.... Woohoo popular all over the globe
10) Do you think the guy will stop every looking at my feet?
Nope! I think he's enamored. I guess instead of being a leg or booty man, this guy is a foot man. But somehow it doesn't sound as good as the other two, does it?? eeww...... I agree - ewwww.

My Fashion Illiteracy

If you know me, you know that I prefer comfort over style. I have some style - not much due to my tomboyish attributes. I tend to wear my hair up in a ponytail and save the styling for special occasions. When it comes to fashion, I get that glazed look in my eyes...but you mention Lucky Luc being re-signed to the LA Kings for a year, and I light up again. I don't understand how someone can pay $500 for a pair of shoes or $250 for a purse. I referred to COACH purses as COUCH purses in an earlier post, I thought that DKNY was pronounced dinky and not until I went to an outlet with a friend and she said "Look at the Donna Karan store" did it click, and if it wasn't for Sex and the City, I would have NEVER known who Jimmy Choo was. I prefer not to wear make up, mainly because I'm lazy but everytime I do wear it I get teased by someone asking me who I'm trying to impress. And I'm trying with the make up, I just -well lazy, I'm lazy. If I show up with make up to see you, know that I'm making an effort. So lately I have been learning to appreciate the fine art of accessories.

A few weeks ago, I bought a couple of new purses and this morning I wanted to break out the other one I haven't had a chance to use. Amazingly enough, I had a pair of shoes that match my purse, so off and running we go since matching the shoes to the purse is a big deal. So here I am, in my matching shoes and purse (and yes I'm wearing clothes, perverts) and I'm happy. But no one notices - no one says anything, of course its because I work with guys and they don't notice anything. But last week on casual Friday, I wore jean capri pants, a red top (for our squadron colors), and tennis shoes and someone said "My aren't we casual today.." Hello its Friday! But it hit me - I reached that plateau of fashion expectation at work. I dress up for work because of the office I work in (I work for the main man of where I'm at) so to me, being rather put together is just part of the "professional appearance". So now I understand why no one noticed the matching purse and shoes. If only they knew this whole fashion thing was a big act for me. I have to admit - I'm starting to dig the whole outfit thing - shoes, hair, jewelry. But the day I decide to buy a pair of shoes over $100 because they are "adorable" and will go with that one top I have, drag me out back and beat some sense into me.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Because I have been incredibly busy with stuff just piling up and up - I'm going to cheat and post a story versus having to really think of something meaningful to say. I've talked to some people who have told me that I should post stories, because the stuff that has happened to me since I started this blog is not all that has happened to me. Oh no..there is more, lots more. So here is my story of when I went to see Aretha Franklin taken from an email I sent to a friend. (I told you I was cheating) This post is dedicated to Jessica whose last day at work is today and she's off to England to get her Master's Degree. Much love to her my fellow lover of Aretha.


ARETHA BABY! Man that was a great concert...the music (a 30 piece orchestra), a Temptation to duet with (I forgot his name), her voice was a little gone-but still hers none the less...but the best part...the BEST PART..was the hissy fit she threw on stage. I kid you not! First the PA system wasnt loud enough for her, then after her 15 minute break (I'm assuming yelling at the sound guy) she came out with different shawl - the first one was huge ruffles, this one was more see a wedding veil. After she sang, she turned her back to the audience to face the piano (where-again I'm assuming- her music was) and all you see is her right hand come up holding a tissue box and say "You'd think there would be some tissues in this tissue box". Everyone in the audience went "Ohhhhh". Then she said, "You'd think for all the money you people are paying to be here, I'd be able to get a glass of water or something." Again with the audience reaction, but this time it was more like - "Get Aretha some water!" So someone from the audience handed her a bottle of water - which she promptly gave to her assistant or something and then the tall man came out with a bottle of water and was pouring it into a red plastic party cup and handed it to her. Then she says "A red plastic cup huh - do I get red party balloons to go with this too?". Always heard it happened, but never really believed it. Then she was asking the audience (which was sold out) what songs they wanted to hear, someone said "Ain't no Way" She said "you want to hear Aint no way? Well aint no way you are going to hear that tonight". LOL Too funny. She didnt even sing but oh well. I sang it all the way home. She sang another song...MY TURN. I fell in love with it. I swear its going to be my new theme song in life. I have to admit - it rivals Lenny Kravitz, but his was still the best concert ever. It kills me to say that. I was a bit disappointed that on the flip side she did throw that fit, didnt sing a lot of the popular songs, and only sang for an hour and a half without an encore. But it was one of the most romantic venues I have been at and if I was with a special someone, I might have had a different opinion on the matter. Honestly, Carol was a great date, but I didnt get any that night...and the two gay guys sitting next to me werent any help either. On a high note, one of the ushers escorted me to my seat - the same guy to just pointed Carol to the section. We laughed...I have to have my moments too dammit!

There - done to appease the masses. By the way, anyone else noticing that I'm gaining a following? I'm STOKED!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Movie Reviews, Jessica Simpson, and My Lost Toothbrush

Movie Reviews
This weekend was a weekend of movies for two main reasons - 1) its too hot to do anything else and 2) I'm broke. So here are the list of movies I watched, not sure if I should be proud that I got through all these movies or ashamed that I had nothing better to do.

War of The Worlds: very intense - I now know I must drink more water - lots more water. I do have to say the ending is weak. Damn you Spielberg. Oh damn, Loren is laughing his ass off right now.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: starts a bit slow but picks up in the middle - rather entertaining once I started giving a shit about the characters, but that took a while. Very quirky.

Wedding Crashers: very funny for a weekend afternoon. The scene at the table - classic.

Chinatown: I've had this movie sitting on top of the entertainment center since the end of June thanks to Netflix. Jack Nicholson is so badass in this movie - if you've never seen it, rent it. Its really good.

The Longest Yard: Entertaining - a little sappy on the ending but its all good.

Jessica Simpson
So I saw the preview for Dukes of Hazzard before Wedding Crashers and there she was Jessica Simpson in her Daisy Duke glory. Then I came home and was catching up on the top videos on VH1 and whose new video comes on? Damn straight Skippy - Jessica Simpson in her cupcake-sexpot version of "These Boots Are Made for Walking" ARGGHHH I'm sick of seeing that woman everywhere. MAKE IT STOP! Britney come back!!!! Oh wait...too late, I already said it. Dammit.

My Lost Toothbrush
At the risk of totally embarassing myself (well what is new with that), I have a funny story to share. I lost my toothbrush this morning, my beautiful purple toothbrush. So here goes (takes a deep breath and starts to type).

I woke up this morning and its hot, freaking hot. Half asleep I do the normal routine that people do when they get up, head to the bathroom. So we have a shelf unit that is over the bathroom and I always has this fear that something would fall in the toilet because well, I can be rather clumsy and crap happens to me.

Did I ever buy anything else to put all of our stuff on? NO

Did I ever make a concious effort to put the lid down when "it" is not in use? NO

So after I'm done (I did #1 only, very important-gross, but important), I flush the toilet and reach over to the toothbrush holder and grab my purple toothbrush to duh, brush my teeth. Why my hand grip wasnt working properly, I'll never know - next thing I know, my toothbrush is falling down into the toilet. There I stand with the age old question of should I go after it. I'm standing over the toilet wondering if I should go after it, I have no idea if its going to clog up the toilet - its a toothbrush. So what do I do? Some primal something or other took over, because against my better judgement - oh yeah - my hand dives in and grabs the toothbrush. I really dont know what the hell I was thinking - because I wasnt. So now I have a pee covered toothbrush in my possession, yeah me, I beat the toilet. But was I really better off? NO So I toss the toothbrush away and wash my hands and do you know what the first thought that went through my head? Damn - I still havent brushed my teeth. HELLO! I just stuck my hand in a flushing toilet! I found an extra "traveling" toothbrush and all is well.

I can't believe I admitted this happened. I have to wash my hands again.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Yes, I know

Yes, I havent posted - Yes, I've been busy....Geez

So lots of little things going on around here...dont know how to format it so I'm just going to do a Highlights of the Day a la The Casual Friday even though I'm only half way through my day.

1. Woke up thinking it was a my regular bi-weekly Friday off, realized it wasnt, and was 20 minutes late to work.
2. Procrastinated the whole week so I could blog browse and I'm getting my come-uppins today since all my stuff is now due.
3. I have my hair in braids today and someone called me Rebecca from Sunnybrook Farms and I had to look it up because I had no idea who that was. Turns out its Shirley Temple.
4. Got a call from a friend who is having to deal with a NIGHTMARE at work - I feel for her, she doesnt deserve at all what is going on.
5. Saw the news about that guy they shot in London. You know what - if you are going to run, by all means the police should be allowed to shoot you. Especially if you have what looks like a bomb strapped to your waist. Thats another rant awaiting print.
6. Got an email from the people who handle our computers and they said that they are going to stop adding those {May Contain Propriety Context} tags - I'm hoping they read my blog and realized it was a dumb idea.
7. I'm trying to make this as entertaining as possible for Kelena and Evan - my little fan club!
8. I'm going to see the fine ass Flight Surgeon this afternoon - swoon
9. I hate that I have all this reading material in my little lobby because the guys will come in and pick something up and I know - I KNOW they are going to the bathroom for "an extended period of time". EEWWWW
10. Last night (ok, I cheated, its not a "today" highlight) I started adding the blogs that I read - if you feel like wandering...enjoy!
11. I got a drunk text message last night....
12. Speaking of Kelena (see #7) - she sent me this link in regards to my rant from yesterday. I love the timing of it all.
13. My boss made fun of my confusion this morning and told a manager that "it was a weak excuse but not the worst he's heard" Funny guy that guy...

OK- that was longer than I thought it would be.....

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Beware of the Rant

Last week I proposed some topics for posts one of which was Part Time Friendships...lets discuss that - shall we?

Mind you, I understand we live in a time where we are overwhelmed with lots of distractions - whether it be family, friends, work, school, hobbies, church - so on and so forth. I have my friends that I love dearly. I know I live far and I try to stay in touch with them as much as possible - through phone calls (which people will get on the weekends since I'm on a budget and whore out my phone on the weekends because of the free minutes), e-mails (which if you don't write back I wont start again), and IM. IM is my personal fave because it satisfies that whole instant gratification thing I'm so fond of. Now, if I call you and you don't call me back for, lets say 3 weeks, you are going on my list. If I call to drop by and visit you several times and you admit to a mutual acquaintance that you are "blowing me off", you are going on my list. If you are having guy problems and decide to call me and I stay up for hours listening to you cry and then you decide not to communicate with me for weeks on end because you are "in love", you are going on my list. I have decided to re-evaluate my list of "friends". No more - "But I have been calling - I called you for your birthday and Christmas" no more "I'm sorry I've been really busy with other things that I wasn't able to call and see how your life has been how is the divorce and basic implosion of your life coming along?" I'm sick of being that push over friend that will be there whenever you need her. I hate how loyalty just gets you screwed nowadays. I am lucky to have the friends that I have - the loyal ones. And how freaking easy do I make it for my friends to keep up with me - I HAVE A FUCKING BLOG! If you read it, you know exactly what is going on with my life. Sure there are some aspects that I don't talk about in here (like the love life) but for that if you really want to know, pick up a phone or know - PERSONALIZED COMMUNICATION. Damn people in an age where we have countless ways to communicate we sure do find it easy to ignore one another. Scotty boy and I once talked about e-mail friendships and I swear I have no problem with it - as long as the emails go both ways or its not just jokes being forwarded. Scott and I haven't seen each other in 5 years - 5 years! But I feel closer to him than I do some of my other "friends" that even though I've seen here and there don't bother to ask me how my life is going. You'd think since we have known each other for so long that we'd be able to talk about more than the small talk - the "family" the "work". You all know me better than that. You know that I'm probably more excited about hockey coming back than I am about my birthday next month.

So what do you think - when does the patience run out? Really? I've drawn lines in the sand and then erased and moved them to accommodate the other person. I really hate to sound like a bitch - because truly I am not, but when is enough really enough?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


This week's feature is a nice little diddy called THE PADDY WAGON. Johnny Menace bring a nice twisted view to things. Thats all I got for this promo.

Hump Day

Damn it feels like its been such a long week because so much has been happening at work these past two days.

SCOTT ROCKS! Scott started a caption contest with the picture with Harry and I - gotta love him. Here is the link for the website.

MUST LOVE DOGS- I cannot wait for this movie to come out. Not only does it have my favorite hottie John Cusack in it but it also has my buddy Kirk Trutner in it! Check out the trailer - he plays the butcher at the beginning of it.

FLIP FLOPS: Did you hear about the Northwestern University Women's Lacrosse team that some of the gals wore flip flops to the White House to visit with Dubya?

What were they thinking?

You know how you wake up and know you are going to be in a mood and you dont know exactly what mood that is? Yeah - thats how I'm feeling. I think I'm going to be going on a rant here about something, I just don't know what just yet.

I was reading over Scott's friend Monica's blog and she made a comment that it was really hot - like Africa hot and last night my friend Jimmy said the exact same thing to me. I thought it was hysterical.

They started putting little tags on my work email subjet lines that say "Known Spammer" or "Contains Proprietary Context" - I find it funny that its scanning my messages and trying to tell me what to open and not to open - yes I know about the viruses blah blah blah - but the Content one? If its going to be dirty joke - of course I'm going to open it!

Ok - I'm going to try something here. I'm fiddling with HTML and I'm going to see if I can graduate to put a little movie or something as well. If I can get this - I think a little tear will roll down Scott's cheek since I didnt ask him for one ounce of help. Yeah me and my self reliance!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


We had every intention to get up early and get to the park early, take a break mid-day to catch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and then leave at a decent hour. As you will see - things that we plan don't usually work out.

So off we go - after a quick stop at Starbucks - to Universal we go. The day progressed rather well. When we first got there we went to the Blast Zone where they have air powered guns that you can shoot nerf balls. Let me tell you - we had so much fun in there. Its deceiving that its only for kids - but let some adults loose in there and you can cause some serious damage. I'm still looking for the one person that hit me square in the eye-bastard. We ended up walking all over the place (twice) and came across the person dressed up as Spiderman. Jacob saw him from a distance and wanted to go up to see him - until he got close and realized that was not such a good idea. He chicked out and had a nice little conversation with the web-slinger from behind my legs (important for later). Saw some people I used to work with - a little shout out to Mario and Eddie. We hit Waterworld and then the Marvel Mania store - I think the store was what impressed Jacob the most. I don't think he knew one place had so much Spiderman stuff. And then he saw it - the penny pressing machine. He immediately picked Spiderman and got himself the penny. We made our way to The Animal Show and he sat there, holding his new penny souvenir in his hand. At some point before or during the show he announced that he was going to give the penny to Spiderman. It was now approximately 4:30pm and Shannon and I are wiped out..and I mean W-I-P-E-D out! We started to walk towards Back to the Future and ran into Ossie who was the park manager at the time. Jacob was telling his new buddy about how he was going to give the penny to Spiderman, how he saw the Animal Show and the monkey was there, and how he saw Waterworld and...blah blah blah. If you know my kid - that boy can ramble on - I wonder where he gets it from?!!? ANYWAYS - so Ossie, the cool cat that he is, calls the Entertainment office and finds out that Spiderman will be at the Marvel Mania store at 5:30pm. It is now 4:45pm. Damn. So Jacob is pumped but has no concept of time. Shannon and I, on the other hand, have a great concept of time and how this was a whole 45 minutes away. He didnt want to do anything but look for Spiderman. So off we went, looking for Spidey. Into all the stores - nothing. In shaded areas with places to sit and lay down - nothing. I looked at my phone and announced to Shannon that it was 5:02pm - she had laid down on the planter wall and I was just sitting there with Jacob "waiting" for Spiderman to come by. People kept coming by...the sun was still beating down on us....nothing. Checked my phone again - 5:04pm - NOOOOO!!!! We went into another store and tried to kill more time. I got Jacob to try to find a keychain with his name on it and that occupied him for quite a long time since they werent in alphabetical order. Yeah me and my deceitful ways! Then he found the candy corner and the tootsie rolls. He wanted them - he wanted them NOW! Damn kid - relax. This tiny little bag of about 12 rolls for $3! I dont think so. Then he goes into rationalizing with me. We dont have to go to Waterworld (again) if I buy him the candy. I say no - I tell him that I can get him three times as many candies at Walmart for a cheaper price. No dice. He tells me that if I buy him the candy - we dont have to see Waterworld or wait for Spiderman. HOLD THE PHONE. I check my phone for the time - its 5:20pm. 10 minutes! We are going to wait 10 freaking for the webbed one - if not for Jacob but for Shannon and myself (because damn that suit is tight and the boy works out!). I crumble over the tootsie rolls and we head over to Marvel Mania to wait for Spidey.

Now my friends - you may or may not think that I exaggerate about my child and my adventures. I (luckily) have a witness that this indeed happened, I swear to you its all true, mark my words.

Waiting for Spiderman, Jacob gets ancy and buys another penny with the Green Goblin on it and we are just killing time until we can go home. We are totally done after this. Shannon stands up and sees Spiderman had gotten ambushed by a mob over by the Carnival games. So we grab Jacob and go (sweet sweet home, here I come). We get there and we tell Jacob, "Now is your chance, go give him the penny." Jacob looks at me and says "No, you do it." WTF?!! I tell him "No, you started it, you finish it - just go up to him and give it to him" And he gives me this "I'm scared" look on his face - I tell him everything is ok and just go up there and give to him. Then he says "I'll have Auntie Shannon do it" Shannon says the same thing - then my child does something that I swear was so unexpected. He says "Fine then! I'll throw it". True to his word - he chucks it at Spiderman. I think it hit him in the head and some parent saw it and handed it back to us. Shannon and I were in shock. I mean funny shock. Shannon gets down and asks Jacob if she goes with him if he'll go - he says no, what if she carries him - no, well maybe. So she picks him up and takes him over to see Spiderman.

So he's there with Spiderman and his eyes are closed.

Then he warms up to Spidey and opens his eyes.

Finally the drama with Spiderman is over. Yeah!! So out of the park we go. We head to Jamba Juice and call my friend Stephanie to thank her for the tickets since she totally hooked us up with comp passes. She's in her office and tells us to go upstairs to say hi. Reluctantly (only because we are tired) we go. Jacob informs Stephanie of his day and runs over and finds Ossie in his cubicle and tells him all about Spiderman and how he talked to him and EVERYTHING! Waterworld mean time is going off and we have a pretty great view of it from Stephanie's desk. While we are watching that, we start talking about the Animal Show and Jacob is RAVING about the monkey and how funny he was and so Stephanie calls to see if we can go backstage and see the animals. They said yes, after this show is over (in about 15 minutes) and she asks if we want to go see Louie the Orangutan in the back. Shannon and I are all over it and have found our second wind. Now when I say second wind - I mean that Shanonn and I are fixing our hair and she's reapplying her make up, for an orangutan! Jacob isnt too jazzed about it but he will warm up to the idea, we are sure of it. So back into the park we go. We get there and Jacob catches the heebie jeebies from The Green Goblin. The show lets out and we go in. Now, I dont know about Shannon, but I felt like one of those snotty rich people that goes into a store after closing to be able to do their shopping in peace. It was so funny. So out comes Harry the Orangutan and I go down to sit with him. Let me tell you - I've always had this secret little fantasy to do something like this and it totally lived up to the hype.

This is Harry and Me

I love this picture - it looks like I'm touching him inappropriately.

Shannon and Harry

Harry's turn to get fresh with Shannon

And where is Jacob you might ask?

Not wanting to have anything to do with it.

We had so much fun and we have Stephanie to thank for it. THANKS GIRL YOU TOTALLY ROCK!!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Yeah - kinda busy

This is the reason why I was unable to post the Universal trip.

To take my mind off of everything, I took Jacob to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Totally awesome.


We broke 2000 on the blog counter - still working on the Universal post - its been incredibly busy - hopefully I'll be able to post later what happened.

Ohhh yeah...The weekend

Friday night: drove down to Stephanie and Ossie's and hit traffic over the aquaduct because of an accident. I forget how much of a sponge kids are and how much my mouth does indeed just start talking without me thinking about it. As we drove my the accident, I saw the coroner's van (turned out 2 people where killed when their mini van went off the road and up the embankment). So I said "oh, someone must have gotten killed" under my breath and then Jacob was asking me what was going on and I explained (sans the dead people reference) about the accident and how everyone was at the hospital getting taken care of. When we get to Canyon Country, I called my parents to tell them we are fine and Jacob want to chat with them and proceeds to tell him how there was blood everywhere, people had died, and someone had gotten arrested. I swear - it was as if we were watching a COPS episode and I missed it all. We had a good mini bbq dinner and Ossie got himself a new challenger for his PS2. Then Steph found something that was just "Are you Serious?" Did you hear about the broo-hah-hah over Mariah Carey "Are They Real Or Are They Fake?" Abs.

Saturday: Went to see Jacob's grandparents in Torrance. Had a good time. He totally had fun helping his grandfather wash the suburban (slave labor!). Then we headed out to Naddy's bridal shower. Another great time. Drove back to Shannon's in Long Beach and crashed out while watching Toy Story - it was a miracle we didnt see Ice Age or Monster's Inc.

Sunday: Went to Universal Studios with Shannon and Jacob. Ok - this is going to have its own post and will post later, as soon as Shannon emails me the pictures. Yes, I'm posting pictures. RELAX.

Friday, July 15, 2005

It was an honor just being nominated...yeah right.

Yesterday, I get a call right before I headed over to Pt. Mugu on the vomit comet that I didnt get that job. Oh well. Like I said - I wasnt pining for it so at least I'm not all that disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I am disappointed but mostly because I wasn't picked. At least the HR lady told me that I was her first choice but management went with someone else. Yeah me - I'm the first runner up.

The ride on the vomit comet? Dear god, I wanted to throw up about three times on that thing. Like I actually looked at my purse and said to myself - is it worth it? The answer is no because my purse is brand new and I hate throwing up. So we finally land and when we get out we hustle to the hanger to watch the retirement ceremony. Broke the news to my boss and his wife that I didn't get the job - they faked disappointment really badly. Retirement ceremony was nice. I run the risk of getting ribbed about what I'm going to say but I cant help it. An admiral spoke at the ceremony and I swear to you he reminded me of Woody Allen with a speech impediment. Had drama trying to head back and almost got stuck there over the weekend. Sure it might have been nice, but I like my own bed. The ride back? Was like a freaking roller coaster - on a certain level that might be fun but when you bottom out at like 2000 feet - its not that great.

When I got home I relaxed a bit and ended up going out for sushi - all by my lonesome. I was excited to grab my book and enjoy the food. But you know how when you want to be alone - others wont let you? Yeah, that was my night.

This morning I went to help my friend Jessica with her moving sale. Damn it got hot and hot and I got tired. We got tired. We even closed up shop early and dragged all her stuff into the garage early. She took me out to lunch as a thank you and when I got home, I passed out and took a 2 hour nap. When I woke up Jacob was rubbing baby powder on my arm. I felt like I was camp (even though I never went away to a camp as a child) where they do weird things to you while you are sleeping and you wake up wondering if you only have one eyebrow or if you peed in your bed while your hand is in a bowl of warm water. Yeah - I had this fear from my three year old - greeaaattt....15 more years of this.

So tonight I'm heading out of town (as usual) so there might not be another update until Sunday. Willy Wonka comes out today and so does Wedding Crashers - yeah! I'm sure to hit the theater upon my return on Sunday...peace out y'all.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Pressure of Being Creative

So I've been sitting here trying to figure out what I'm going to write about this morning. Usually I write about what I've done the night before or what is going through my mind. Since my mind sometimes wanders excessively - its a crap shoot as to what we are going to get. I'm sure it would be nice to get an organized and have some forethought into this. I did think of a few things I wanted to discuss but I might break it up into various posts.

So here are some blog topics that will be tackled over the next few days(in no particular order):
Kids being smarter than their parents
The power of my job
Grooming 101
Frustrations of others doing your work behind your back
Part Time Friendships
The toddler shooting in LA
The power of JK Rowling

Other than that what happened...played Literati with Scotty Boy last night on Yahoo IM - I was kicking his ass when he forfeited. Then we played pool and he whipped me a good one (twice). I'm going to Point Mugu this afternoon for a retirement. I'm excited because I like military retirement ceremonies. I admire the traditions and the regiment of the whole thing - this will be my second one. Unfortnately, this means that I will be riding the vomit comet to and from. Ugh - I hate riding the shuttle. Its a little plane that seats about 15 people and it has Buddy Holly written all over it (not literally although it would be funny, morbid, but funny). Since I now work with the half of the pilots that fly this thing I checked and my guys arent flying the shuttle I'm taking - the Point Mugu crew is. Darn it - I wanted to heckle.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

This just in...

No not that - the NHL and the Union have reached an agreement.
Hockey is back baby!
I have been in serious withdrawl of my physical violence.

I posted a little picture to commemorate this momentous occasion.


Ok - so its 730am and its already 77 degrees. WTF - oh yeah, its summer and I live in the desert.

I gave someone and ride to work and he bought me a cup of coffee at Starbucks - luckily I didnt have to go through the whole "Are they going to spell my name right?" drama since we were the only ones there. I have realized, thanks to Carol, that Coffee Bean is actually better coffee but since we dont have a Coffee Bean here I have to deal with Starbucks and their aggressive marketing of CD's you never thought you would want.

Still no word on the job

Just learned how to read the names of squadrons and determine what kind they are (fixed wing/rotary, Experimental/Attack/Fighter) very interesting. Probably never going to use it but if I ever make it on Jeopardy - I'll have it stored in there along with all the names of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I've noticed in the blog browsing I've started to do - it seems like its the same group of people that post on the blogs that I post on. I've inadvertedly joined a posse.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

General Stuff

That guy checked me feet out again. YUCK!

My cd player was acting up while I was driving to and from lunch - its not even like I can listen to the radio since we have crappy radio stations here. I'd rather hear myself hum.

I'm listening to Nine Inch Nail's CLOSER - damn thats a good song to get busy to.

I'm becoming an avid blog comments poster - I'm enjoying the witty banter on some of the little message boards. Although I really should find more contructive things to do with my time.

Still havent gotten my fish - I'm getting the officers involved in my caper to get my salmon.

Called to see whats up with that job - the HR lady said that they should be making a decision sometime this afternoon. Ho-hum.

The Famous Scott's Thoughts blog has broken 2K - I'm about 200 behind, not like its a contest or a race or anything....


So not much to report - they hired a new office manager to help out around the joint. We'll see how she does. I was doing lots of introducing yesterday and I called her Laura instead of Linda a few times - sorry lady, I suck at names when I first meet people.

Went to Denny's and hung out with my friend Travis for a bit last night. Ahh yes, quality time at Denny's. It was nice - just chatting and catching up. Last time we hung out was when we went to see the Aviator - damn that is a long time ago.

Watched Racing Stripes with Jacob last night. That movie is so cute and funny.

Finally decided after much deliberation that the cd player in my car is indeed a piece of shit. It wont play my cd's half the time (claiming an error has occured). What a crock.

I'm going to call today to see about the job. I'm getting rather ancy about it. I know I say I dont care if I get it or not - but I really do want it. I guess I just dont want to jinx myself. I've always felt that if I really want something and actually say it out loud it gets screwed up. So I try to lay low on it and see how things turn out. But I'm finding myself just not giving a rat's ass about the petty crap I have to deal with. And its not like I dont have things to do, I'm just BORED!!!

Since Scott just emailed me asking where the post is - I'm going to post as is and will update throughout the day with little morsels of excitement.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Gettin' a nod...

I love getting mentioned in other people's blogs...

Blog Browsing

Alrighty - Monday is here and I'm getting into my work routine. No one is in the office this morning due to meetings and junk so I've been catching up on the blogs I've decided to follow. Which leads me to a new feature on my blog:

BLOG OF THE WEEK (insert cheesy thunderous applause here)
This week's blog is a hilarious entry from Brian (no not that Brian) called The Casual Friday. This man has made me laugh so hard at work that my boss has had to come out and ask me what the hell is going on - I then send him the link and I hear him dying in his office. So thanks for the laughs Brian, hope you like being the first.

I watched Motorcycle Diaries yesterday. Excellent movie. I'm loving Netflix - although I keep screwing with the queue and my little AFI project is getting all fuckered up.

Funny little things I thought about...
Yes, I still need to do the picture thing on here - I'm just lazy and procrastinating the whole thing. Go to my myspace profile - I have pics there if you really want to see me.

This guy in my building (I'm not getting specific because certain people I work with read this blog) keeps checking out my feet and its really creeping me out. And its not this casual look - its he notices I'm wearing open toed shoes and stares at my feet - ewww. BUT the funny thing is that if I found this guy to be attractive - I probably wouldnt mind it as much - but I dont and thus the need for some sort of cleansing afterwards. I've kind of just dealt with it - run into the office and run out or hide behind something but every now and then I let that guard down and its like I can feel his eyes on them.

Scott still hasnt posted his blog...WTF?

I can't believe I was so worked up about the people breaking into the stadium Friday night for the soccer game.

Last night when I went to the ATM - I saw some guy walking with his girlfriend and carrying a samurai sword on his back. I love my freaky little desert town.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The interview and drunk mexicans - oh my!

Friday - left work early and headed for the job interview. I think I did pretty well - but I'll be damned if the general manager didnt ask me that hobbies question again! What is it with this place and the hobbies question? So I tell him "You know what - I really dont have any set hobbies like scrapbooking or dirt biking. I like to do many things and it really depends on what I'm in the mood for. I like to watch movies, I like to do cross-stitching/knitting, play games, do puzzles, hiking, going for drives - ect. Like I said, just depends on what I'm in the mood for." He says - ahh, you are an intellectual. Apparently, thats what he wanted to hear. So we will find out what happens. Until then, I will try not to worry about where I'll be staying if I do get the job because I cant get an apartment until later (like a month or so from now). Ah the joys of doing stuff without planning them out.

So after the interview we headed towards downtown LA to visit my cousin's shop for a bit until traffic died down a bit for the soccer game at the Home Depot Center. So I had this whole blog thing written out in my head - I had even broken it down by times but I had forgotten my little draft by the time I got home so you are going to get the highlights.
1) My dad not getting the directions ahead of time and us getting lost. He was driving and the driver is always in charge - true I claimed to know where it was but I'm not taking blame for this. Oscar - any reference to mom at this point and I'm going to start posting embarassing pictures of you here. Finding the joint and my dad driving down the bike lane to get there faster (no kidding) then getting mad when the drivers would let him get back line.
2) What is it with the cheapskates at this thing? I saw three people climb a 10ft fence to break into the arena to go see the game. - my dad told me that some people climbed the fence at the end of the stadium, slid down the grassy knoll, and jumped the second fence.
3) When I returned to my seat, I looked over at the people who were sitting next to me - I swear to you that they were the same people that jumped the 10ft fence. I dont know what came over me, but I wanted to turn them in so badly.
4) The South African team kicked Mexico's ass
5) The Jamaican goalie was huge!
6) As I'm watching something happen in the stands - one of the Jamaican players head butts the star player on the Guatemalan team and gets a red card. DAMMIT I MISSED IT!
7) The Guatemalan/Jamaican game was more exciting than the Mexico game. Even though Guatemala lost....darn it.

So there are the highlights - there was a lot more stuff going on, but since my little write up is gone, fuck it.

Friday, July 08, 2005


I love short weeks and this week is even shorter because I'm taking off at 11am for my job interview this afternoon. I'm also taking my dad for his Father's Day present of taking him to see Mexico versus South Africa and Guatemala (Go Guate) versus Jamaica at the Home Depot Center for the CONCACAF Gold Cup. So great night of drunk soccer fans ahead for me!

It was a rather quiet evening last night for yours truly because I got home and basically passed out. I didn't run a marathon or anything - didnt even go to the gym - just got home and crashed for about 2 hours. I'm not a nap person at all, but lately I have to crash every now and then. Its a sign! Its a sign! I actually think I know what I had to crash, but that leads me to the blog invisible line - what is too much to say on this thing. On a certain level - I really have no shame about what to talk about with my friends but I have to be realistic that there are "others" reading this. Which I think is cool - but at the same time you have to get to know my craziness to love it. Anyways - just a thought.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Updates on stuff...

Found the remote - just as soon as I mention the drama, its solved. Know where it was? Of course not - it was in Jacob's toy box in the living room. Did he know where it was? After I asked him, he said - "Oh yeah, now I remember..." Geez

So I've been blog browsing, part of my latest boredom with stuff in general. But tonight, I saw something I've never seen in a blog. PORN! It may sound ridiculous and naive but I swear, tonight was the first time I ran into a porn blog. Yes its actual porn - so be careful when you open it. I'm sharing for the sake of sharing my moment.

Just for here and have a picture ready!

The hottie Kelly and Alex just won the Dancing with the Stars thing. They were the come back kids throughout this thing - so as far as the underdog story goes, it was great. But I wanted John and Charlotte to win because they were consistant. Oh well. C'est La Vie.


So rather dull day again. I swear - I need to find more things to do! But I'm sure that as soon as I say it, the rain will start a pourin'

Found a few articles that were of interest. Here they are for your reading pleasure...

What would you do for a drink? Click here to find out what some people are doing in Australia.

Oh the humanity!

Talk about a frivolous lawsuit!

I'm speechless - seriously - uhhhhhhh

Odds and Ends

In hopes of giving you an insight to my little life - because thats what I want to do this morning - I'm going to be telling you about the little shit that has been annoying me for a little bit and in this post, will be an update from the job interview. Another reason for this post - is well not much is going on and I'm trying to fill the space.

Day 4: No Remote
Apparently my remote for the tv in my room was lost sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning. I remember turning the tv off but when I woke up, it was gone. Very weird, very strange. Jacob (the little prankster) likes to hide stuff every now and then and even he has no idea where it is. I've turned my room upside down looking for it mainly because its a big pain in the ass but I'll live.

WTF is that noise?
Every morning I wake up to this weird sound - its like a bed creaking. I found out a week ago that its the water heater. Its just odd to hear this noise coming from the heater closet - everytime I open it, I guess I hope that I'll scare whatever is contributing to the noise and make it stop. And its only in the morning, that precious time when I wake up at 530am.

Hobbies - I'll show you hobbies
So my interview last Friday went really well. I actually have an appointment to meet the General Manager and VP of Marketing this Friday (yeah me). When I was talking to the HR person one of the questions she asked me was what my hobbies were. Now I used to do recruiting and I know we ask this, but I have never been asked that question. I have stuff that I like to do and do them when I feel like it -but I don't have set HOBBIES like scrapbooking or gardening. I just do what I want when I feel like it. So I tell her that I have a variety of things that I like to do - like reading, going out, big movie fan, hiking - the stuff which in my opinion counts as hobbies. I called her yesterday to confirm my appointment on Friday and she asks me the hobbies question again. I'm like WTF? Honestly, I think she's trying to get information that she cant ask legally. For example - she cant ask "Do you have children?" But she can ask "What are your hobbies?" and I can either reply "Spend time with my family and friends" (which I did) or "Spend as much time as I can with my son" (which is probably what she's looking for). See, I'm sneaky too. When I told my mom she said "What you dont think saying you like to lay around and watch tv would be a good thing?" HAHA - very funny smart ass. Anyways, that has been pestering me.

Like I said its an odds and ends day.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Its not pictures - but its brightening up the joint!

Star Wars Horoscope for Virgo

You show efficiency when working for a good cause.
But you tend to be a bit fussy when it comes to doing something out of the ordinary.
Like many Virgos, you want to stay out of the spotlight.
You do well at picking up the smallest details.

Star wars character you are most like: C3P0

Monday, July 04, 2005


The latter part of the weekend turned out to be lots of fun compared to my movie day on Saturday. I was supposed to get a call to go camping on Saturday morning but the call never came in - so thus movie day and the start of potty training weekend for the Jake man. The call then came in on Sunday, but I woke up with this urge to freaking clean - so I did that most of the day and then got into the car and made the hour or so drive to the campground to meet up with Carol and Hope. It was lots of fun - especially it being Jacob's first camping trip. Played in the river, slept in the tent, used the yucky port-a-potty...good times, good times. So other than the camping the other big thing was the potty training. We really have to work on the aiming issue. I was on the phone with his dad and screaming "Aim Down! Aim Down!" "Don't touch me, you have pee on your hand!" He was just laughing and hung up. He called about 5 minutes later still laughing. Said he could picture the whole thing - yeah real funny. So the potty training is going well - just trudging a long.

Oh, I dont know what I ate but I've had a rash on my arms for most of the day. WTF? Seriously. Just on my arms. Its weird - hopefully it will go away overnight.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Lets play the name game!


Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Movie Weekend

Its been movie weekend so far for yours truly. Here are the movie reviews so far...

SPANGLISH: It was really really cute. I rather enjoyed watching Adam Sandler in a non comedy film. The movie was well made and I thought well written.

THE PACIFIER: Ok - yes rather predicatible but it was quite entertaining.

BE COOL: Yes I never saw it - it was alright. I think most of the jokes were forced but hey, it was for killing time.

Still got CHINATOWN to get through and I'm sure I'm going to go to see WAR OF THE WORLDS at some point.

Friday, July 01, 2005

The big day

Today is that second interview for the job in North Hollywood - wish me luck. I'll be heading out of here in about 30 min. As soon as that suckers over and done with I'm getting the hell out of town as to avoid the traffic. If not, I'll be stuck in LA until late tonight - not that it would be bad, but I have stuff I want to do.

Last night we found out my cousin is expecting. Oscar is going to have to call and find out which cousin it is....I love a good little intrigue in the morning.

Have a great holiday weekend!