Friday, March 31, 2006
Scottyboy was obessed with a woman who might have split her pants. Like I'm talking life and stuff and he's staring at this woman's ass wondering if her underwear was showing. I even suggested he take a picture of it for the blog but no...turned out it was her skirt or something. As we drove back to my car (I had left it at his work) I suggested Scott should be the next featured reader, I'll be damned if he thought I said featured BREEDER. HELLO!!! That production factory is shut down! Good times...good times.
Thanks for dinner and the tour Scotty! Great choice for food....damn good Cuban restaurant, Havana Mania. Highly recommended.
After dinner, I was supposed to get something on my car fixed but plans changed and I ended up at my uncle's house dropping off a suitcase for my aunt. Then I left with a loveseat, bar stools, and an end table - I have furniture people! Jimmy and Jonathan (I wonder if it annoys Jimmy that I call him Jimmy and not JAMES?!?-Dont care, moving on) were kind enough to be my little mules again. So now that I had furniture and was able to entertain my guests! We stayed up until 1am playing Sequence - where I won! Damn that game is addictive.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lets get on with it - shall we? Let me just say that I kept screaming HOLY SHIT! the whole night...with some phone calls back and forth until 11pm. Damn people!
Here are some highlights that were caught...
What is up with that map that were on the blast doors? What is that map? Well if you didnt get a chance to analyze it, here is your chance! You can also go here to see it better...
So if you read the map carefully you'll see where it says "I am here" in the lower left hand corner and what looks like notations on attempts to escape because there is reference to travel time under 108 minutes...hmmmm...there are also some foreign phrases and they are translated as follows:
Aegrescit medendo - The disease worsens with the treatment. The remedy is worse than the disease
Sursum corda - Lift up your hearts (to God)
Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse - I think we're on the same wavelength
Malum consilium quod mutari non potest - It's a bad plan that can't be changed.
Cogito ergo doleo - I think therefore I am depressed
Ut sit magna, tamen certe lenta ira deorum est - The wrath of the gods may be great, but it certainly is slow
Hic sunt dracones - Here be dragons
The Sayid-Locke Connection:
Well we saw how Sayid was connected to Kate - now we find out that Sayid is connected to Locke...the house that Locke was inspecting was for Nadia - the woman that Sayid was going to find in LA!!!
Yeah, totally missed that one.
Locke and the Planes:
Those planes that kept flying over Locke's head while he was at the hotel...yeah, Oceanic Airlines.
And last, but probably not least...Who is Henry Gale?
Well it aint the guy in the hatch! Henry Gale is a black man that was in the grave that Charlie, Sayid, and Ana Lucia came upon when they found the balloon. Ok - so I was sort of shocked that they dug up the grave but not surprised.
1) So who is the alleged Henry Gale? Some speculate we have already seen him…
2) Did he get caught on purpose?
3) What else did he do while he was putting the numbers in the computer to reset it?
4) Did he get caught to have access to that computer since the Losties have had control of it since Desmond disappeared?
5) Who created that map on the blast doors? Desmond? Kelvin (the guy who escaped)?
6) I’m pretty sure the blast doors coming down and the food delivery are correlated; dropping the blast doors prevents the person from going outside and seeing how the food is delivered?
7) We finally get to see Jack’s tattoos come into play – do you think he was in the military because of his time overseas?
8) Is Locke’s dad connected with Sawyer since they are both con men?
UPDATED with more theories:
1) Locke’s dad is Mr. Sawyer
2) Henry Gale and The Fake Henry Gale showed up together (thus the proper burial) to replace Desmond
3) Helen part of a Long Con with Locke?
4) One of the “bad guys” that were threatening Helen and Locke was the same guy that robbed the bank with Kate
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Enjoy and mock to your heart's content. A great big thank you to Anna who took all the pictures.
(photo by Anna) A shout out to my crew.
This is what the sign read.
I even got a phone call from an ex-coworker at the game that saw me. BTW - see that guy right behind me? The uni-bomber wanna be? Fucker dropped beer down my back.
P/S The sign is blocking an Avalanche fan!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
So Iliana tells me last night that as she's driving down Sunset Blvd this group of 5-6 guys cross in front of her and one of them waves - like to say thanks not for running him over...turns out its Bobby Brown. And yes, he looked like he was on the smack - allegedly.
LOST was ok last night but looks like its going to be a great ride for the next few episodes. The Tail Section has a nice little recap here or you can go to Pink is The New Blog and get your fill of hollywood gossip and a nice LOST recap. (P/S I heart PITNB)
Still waiting for zamboni pictures...Scott got a little snippy on his blog about it. And yes Zamboni is the actual Zamboni - not a metaphor...pervert.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Forget the new apartment, forget work responsibilities, forget the new 24 episode – last night was all about my date with the zamboni.
As I left work, I made a sign to take with me on the zamboni. This is something that had been somewhat brainstormed in the section and it was going to happen. Let me state that I really did feel like an idiot carrying that sign – not only that but it was sprinkling as I walked to Staples and so I had to stuff that thing under my jacket so the marker wouldn’t run. After I plant myself in my seat and the game begins...the countdown was on! Because things can always go wrong in Melissa’s world, I truly didn’t start getting excited until it was the 1st intermission and I saw the zambonis come out with their riders for that time. Since the Kings were just sucking harder than a teenage girl on prom night, the only thing I had to look forward to was my zamboni ride…there would be no Mike speech that night..oh no, the mighty had been silenced since we lost 5-0. Speaking of Mike, he gave me a little toy zamboni to commemorate my event. Que sweet.
Anyways - with about 8:25 left in the 2nd period, Jenny from the Kings crew comes to get me. A little bit of trivia for y'all, apparently our little Jenny was on LOST - she played Claire's friend in the episode when she goes to the psychic. The other person that was riding the zamboni really really wanted to go by the locker room - so Jenny bless her heart took us by there. She told us not to say anything - OOOPS!
So we get downstairs by the zambonis and they load us up - I got to ride the West Coast Choppers zamboni - WOOHOOO!!! After the r/c car race, they have us pull out onto the ice. Let me say - wow. Going onto the ice is such a powerful little rush, its amazing. I can understand how actors feel walking onto the stage with the lights shining on them and such. So we come out and I immediately put my sign up. I saw myself on the jumbotron and I felt like a dork watching myself up there. Anyways - I gave my props to my section and then I waved for a bit and after about 3 minutes - it got old. I was done, unfortunately the zamboni wasnt. So I was still having a ball riding the thing but it became rather uncomfortable and eerie. It was as if I was a fish in a fishbowl, going around and around with people outside the glass looking in at me. I still waved and posed for pictures since Anna was the only one who remembered to bring a camera, but other than that, I was just people watching. The sucky part of people watching there is that people KNOW you are looking at them. Just how that fine guy in row 1 of section 113 was waving at me - damn that fucking zamboni not stopping. What I did find cool is that this little kid was waving at me, he must have been 3 or 4 yrs old, and after I waved back he turned to his dad and said "Did you see her? She waved at me!" Damn I'm cool. After the ride was over, we were put in an elevator to return to our seats. As I made my way back to my section, I heard this guy say "Hey! Thats the girl from the zamboni!"
p/s Yes, pictures were taken, but due to techincal difficulties, they will be up tomorrow.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Apparently at the beginning of March, the planet Mercury went into Pisces and starts to move backwards - causing chaos in our lives. I'd like to think that this is bullshit. On the other hand...well read on....
I moved this weekend (yeah me!) and in the process of moving something so unbelievably "Mercury Retrograde" happened - I still cant believe it. Friday night, I stayed late at work because my cousins Jonathan and Jimmy were going to pick me up at the new digs and we were going to go all together to my mom's house to get my stuff. I go to kill lots of time at KMart and my friend's house waiting for their phone call. At 9:30pm, they called to tell me that they were too tired to drive that night and opted to leave early in the AM. Now - if you know me, you know that I'm a planner. Like I even broke down the move into 4 different phases and what was being moved in each phase. This did not bode well for Phase 3 and Phase 4. I opted to just stay at my friend's place and leave early as well. The next morning - my cousins call me and we are off and running. We get to the house and I immediately start packing (since I was supposed to be doing that the night before - remember Phase 3?). My dad shows up and start instructing us on how to pack the truck. Mind you we are in our twenties (ok some of us, me, closer to our 30's) and here he is telling us specifically where to put the dresser, entertainment center, and bed in the truck. It drove us a bit nuts, but I love my dad and so we nodded with agreement as he told us and almost drew us a diagram - as soon as he left, we did it our way. We opted to go buy a tarp and lay it on the bed of the truck to put the mattress on it so it doesnt get dirty. We then decided to leave the tarp, put the boxes on top of the tarp, and put the mattress then the boxspring on top of everything; except the dresser and tv stand, they had to stand on their own. This was an awesome plan!
Finally its time to head to LA...new apartment - here I come!
We got out of there about 1pm (1 hour behind schedule according to Phase 4 - not bad). As we pass by Edwards Air Force Base, we notice dark clouds ahead. We should be fine...SHOULD. As we hit Lancaster/Palmdale we get some sprinkles. But they quickly dissapate - whew! We stop to eat lunch and then head back on the road. As we get closer to Acton, the clouds get darker but its still sunny - and then the freaky storm hits! It rained and I mean like you can hear the water pelting the car RAIN! Holy crap! So we get off the freeway and my cousins go into a store and buy a tarp and some bungee cords to secure it..there they are, out in the freezing cold wind and rain putting on the tarp but its getting harder...the rain...well thats because its started to HAIL! The finally put the tarp on and about 2 minutes after they get into the truck, it stops. No kidding - I swear to Aunt Jemima. We are now laughing our asses off and joking about this freaky rain and how my stuff is going to get mildew being under the tarp. We take off and all of a sudden the tarp rips and we (and by we I mean Jonathan and Jimmy) get off to remove the tarp since it seems like we've past the rain (notice the foreshadowing?). We kid about how now the stuff can dry - when it starts to rain AGAIN!!! We are closer to civilization now (Santa Clarita) but I'll be damned if there wasnt traffic and we had come to a crawl on the freeway! We finally get off the freeway and pull up under an awning at a gas station. We (J&J again) go out and put the tarp back on my bed and leave the dresser and tv stand to the elements. About 3 minutes after we started to drive, the rain stops. We learned our lesson and did not stop to remove the tarp, and it never rained again. When we finally get to the apartment, we start unloading the stuff and realize the bright idea of putting the tarp down, only allowed the rain to gather UNDER all the boxes.
The bed finally dried off today and I got a majority of my stuff unpacked but things are still in shambles at the new place. I'm still waiting for my fridge to show and I have no couch.
Tonight is the infamous Zamboni ride. Everyone is asking me if I'm excited - I totally am, really I am. But Mercury is in doing a moonwalk in Pisces and I still have 5 hours until game time.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Hi,My name is Joe Schmo, and I am a former writer and Art Director.
I will also tell you that I have absolutely no expectation of hearing back from you people, because while I haven't figured out exactly what Craigslist actually is, I do have a fairly good idea of what it isn't.It isn't a place to find jobs, because I fucking write in the subject header that I was a former writer in just about every fucking email I send out, but nobody ever gets back to contact me.
This of course is not to say that the fact that I wrote and art directed for 4 years is an immediate guarantee that I can expect to receive a reply to every one of my emails, but it does seem that I’d get one or two responses in 3 years of trying.
Let me also say that I have no problem getting work, it’s just that I’ve never gotten anything off of this piece of shit website. I have a book coming out at the end of this month called "Something or Other"( yes I changed it). Barnes and Noble is publishing it, so it's a decent chance I'm not some fucking hack, and it would make sense that I'd get the occasional email saying, "Hey, you don't seem like some fucking hack... do you want this job we are offering?" but that has never once happened on Craigslist. Currently I am writing another book, "Something or other part 2"(catch my drift) Also from Barnes and Noble, so I must be an entertaining writer... my credentials would certainly bear me out, and if you ever get back to me I may send you some samples, but that's not likely to happen, and fuck you very much for that.
I am also an illustrator and graphic designer. My titles were Art Director and Sr. Editor and been a creative director at a small ad agency, but it's extremely doubtful that anyone will even read this missive, let alone get back to me on it, so eat a large bowl of fuck, you collective group of shit-heels, you.
I am a published author and illustrator, I even have a short film, which I directed, animated and voiced in the Smithsonian. You may have heard of it…it’s that famous fucking museum in the nation's capitol. They have dinosaur bones, Fonzie's jacket, and my goddamned animated short... not too fucking shabby. Pretty damned remarkable if you ask most people. Most people who have nothing to do with Craigslist would think so, but you guys are Craigslist people, so you will never know how well I could do your stupid job. Douche bags!
Also, I do improv two nights a week in Los Angeles, so I'm a performer. I've written for the web, magazines, short stories, books, I have "recognizable credits," I've written in teams, in a pair, and solo.
I am a mother-fucking-one-of-a-kind-talent, but fuck you all in each of your pink puckered assholes, because you will not ever get back to me to find out for yourselves. (p/s my favorite line of the whole thing)
Let me also stress to you touchholes that I don't only "work blue" but I don't care in this case, because no one will ever read this email anyway, and if they do, there is absolutely no chance they will hit the reply button. That’s just not what Craigslist people do.
I fervently hope you all get bitten by poisonous rats, and the sickness causes your blood to actually heat up inside your body. I wish for your internal organs to swell up to 7 times their normal size, and your penises to drop off; Unless you have a vagina, in which case I pray it will grow larger and larger until it meets at the top of your head, and you split in half and die.
I do appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to read my email, I'm a team player, and would love the opportunity to work in a creative atmosphere.
Looking forward to hearing back from you, and God bless, (pp/s this is my boss's favorite line)
I swear I actually received this in an email for to be considered for a position. And yes, I do want to call him, but its not exactly my call.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
And so this post shall be quick...
OH DEAR GOD! How many more people can die on this show? Honestly the person I felt the most sorry for was the security dude stuck in holding with Lyn. Of course Lyn needed to redeem himself - after all it was his fault that the terrorist got in. Like I told Scott - it was like watching an old Star Trek episode and seeing Crewman#3 "Bob" go on a planet with Capt Kirk and you knew that he was the one that wasnt going to make it back.
RIP Harry - RIP
Got a call from the new landlords - looks like I can start moving in my stuff tomorrow (woohoo!) I'll officially be in this weekend. I cannot wait. The thing that I'm most excited about is that I'm going to start cooking again. Where I'm at now, I cant cook - not like without ability, but more like no access. The stove doesnt work. So I will be at home every night whipping up new recipes - YES!
Mr. G was right...
I finally got a professional massage last night and it was so worth every penny.
Dont they ever learn?
I got the BEST cover letter EVER today for a job application. I will be posting it later because it deserves its own moment in the sun.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
1) Dont throw a hissy fit about getting your parking validated. You are asking us for a job!
2) Dont tell us that part of your 5 year plan is to open up a brothel.
3) Dont bring your friend to an interview because she needs a job too. The appointment was just for you.
4) Yes, the receptionist's opinion is taken seriously - so be nice to them!
5) Please, for the love of God, if you sign the application and you state that you DON’T have any misdemeanors and/or felonies make sure that’s the truth. This whole “Uh, I didn’t know that was going to come up” doesn’t work.
6) Working Full Time means 40 hours a week, if you want your days off that means working nights, if you say you can work weekends, that means EVERY weekend.
7) Make the time to create a “professional” email address – your credibility does go down a bit if your email address is firstname.lastname@example.org (Yes I made it up)
8) Please, don’t flirt
9) There is a fine line between confident and arrogant.
10) When I ask you what kind of company you want to work for, don’t read from our company description in our job ad.
11) Professional references means people you have worked with or for – not the manager of the fast food restaurant you frequent twice a week.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Last week I went to the optometrist to get my annual eye exam. When I walked in, he asked me if there was anything in particular that I had issues with – a question that up until that day, I had always said no to. So I tell him that I basically had 3 things:
1) I get headaches when I wear my glasses for an extended period of time
2) When driving at night, I see little halos around the lights
3) Every now and then I see little floaties in my eye (I know it sounds weird, work with me)
So he goes on with the exam and at the end of it he starts doing the big overview. Up until this point, all of my appointments have ended the same way – “Your vision hasn’t changed, are you sure you don’t want Lasik surgery?” Like I said…up until this point. He sits on his little stool and proceeds to go over my initial questions/concerns.
First he talks about the halos and my vision at night. He tells me that I have astigmatism in my left eye. Let me remind you that nothing has changed for me in 6 years – I get this shock to my system as if I have just been told I have cancer…why I don’t know, just the way I reacted to the news. I have heard of astigmatism but honestly I don’t know what it is…so he tells me that my eye is supposed to be the shape of a basketball and instead it is the shape of a football. Funny thing I that when I told this story last night – someone said that! Like its what they teach to optometrists in training to say when they are explaining astigmatism to people. Anyways, I’m still kind of jolted by the news and I ask about if its going to get better and if I can wear contacts. Its not that bad but it aint gonna ever get better.
Next up is the floaties issue. He tells me about how there is a gel-like fluid in your eyeball and sometimes little fluid breaks off and that’s what you see – the floaties and the doctor is telling me that it looks like wiggly things and I say “Well mine look like sperm” then he says “Some people say sperm”. Let me also add that this guy is this middle aged Asian man – for you kids that went to MKHS, think of Mr. Lee-Sung. He then asks me if I’ve seen flashing lights and I say no – he then proceeds to tell me that if I see a sudden surge of these floaties (like from 10/15 to 100) and flashes of light to call him immediately because it’s a sign that my retina is detaching. WOW – first astigmatism then retina detaching, what’s next?
So he takes my glasses and he wants to test the prescription. He comes back and tells me that he knows the reason why I get headaches – the prescription on my glasses is off in my right eye. My prescription is -4.00 and my glasses are -4.50 (that’s a lot people!) and I have been using contacts that are -4.25. I have been living a LIE! Remember, I have been using these same glasses for 6 YEARS. I felt like I had seen the light (but not in the retina detaching way).
After the appointment was over, I had to drive out see some friends and on the way I opted to call my mom and check in (because god knows if I don’t call at least once a day she thinks I’m dead). So she answers the phone and we chit chat and I tell her about my trip to the optometrist and I get to the astigmatism part (by now I’m more concerned about the floaties).
This is our conversation (because she was speaking in Spanish I’m going to leave it because it makes the conversation sooo much better):
Me: I went to the optometrist to have my eyes checked.
Mom: Que te dijo? (What did he tell you?)
Me: The doctor told me I have astigmatism in my left eye.
Mom: Aye Dios Mio! (Oh My God!)
Me: Mom its not a big deal, my eye is shaped like a football – but its not that bad.
Dad (in the background): Que paso Myriam? (What happened Myriam?)
Mom (to my dad): Melissa tiene un “astigmatism” en el ojo! (Melissa has an astigmatism in her eye!)
Dad (gets on the phone): Mija, eso es mi culpa. Lo agarastes de mi. (Mija, that’s my fault, you got that from me)
Mom (back on the phone): Estas bien? (Are you ok?)
Me: I’m fine (wondering why I overreacted in the first place). Ok, I have to go bye!
A couple of days later, I’m in a public restroom and all of a sudden I see a light flashing. The first thing that comes to mind is that my retina is detaching; like I’m wondering if I should up and run or wipe first. Then I look up and realize that the light bulb in the bathroom is going out…
John Locke, after whom the character John Locke is named, was a famous social contract philosopher who dealt with the relationship between nature and civilization. Also, the TV Locke's father is named Anthony Cooper, named for Lord Anthony Ashley-Cooper, the real-world John Locke's political mentor and patron. The real Locke believed that, in the state of nature, all men had equal rights to punish transgressors; to ensure fair judgment for all, governments were formed to better administer the laws. This philosophy is paralleled by the character of Locke, who embraces both nature and the need for organization among the survivors.
Here's another one:
Locke is frequently connected with games. He teaches and plays backgammon with Walt, demonstrates Mouse Trap to a child in a flashback scene in "Deus Ex Machina", and plays Risk with a co-worker in "Walkabout". In " Exodus, Part 2" while handling dynamite, Locke asks Jack if he ever played Operation, joking that he "always got nailed by the funny bone"; he then proceeds to make a buzzing sound while lifting one of the fragile explosives. A startled Jack questions, "Do you like to play games, John?" Locke smiles and says "Absolutely."
At the hockey game last night, we saw Pat Sajak. Yes, I screamed "Can I buy a vowel!" - huh Rozanne.
While walking from the METRO station, we saw David Spade filming in a movie.
While in Hollywood and Highland - saw James Pickens Jr who plays the Chief on Grey's Anatomy.
Walking back from Hollywood and Highland (along with all the Oscar Hooplah) saw Doris Roberts getting the mini-red carpet treatment.
Oh yeah, and also saw lots of fake boobies - thats for Rozanne.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Things that were picked up on - just for Scott.
- The song that the airplane mobile played was "Catch A Falling Star And Put It In Your Pocket." This is the same song that Claire asked the potential adoptive parents if they knew, in her flashback last season. She asked them if they knew "Catch A Falling Star" and the woman answered that she did, and Claire said that they should sing it to her baby, because her dad used to sing it to her. So, question, could Claire's father somehow possibly be involved?
- On the same mobile, all the airplanes said "Oceanic Airlines."
- The guy talking to Ethan outside the room was M.C. Gainey, aka Mr. Friendly, aka Zeke... without the use of his fake hair and prosthetics. So, since that was Zeke, we now know that there is another "Him" who is in charge, thanks to what he said to Ethan: 'You were supposed to make the list and then bring her in... Well, what I am I supposed to tell HIM? Do you know what HE's gonna do when HE finds out.' Again, I'm not saying my gut instincts out loud: I'm *GUESSING* (only a guess) it could be A)Henry Gale or B) (and this one's way out there) Claire's father?
- Hurley's Numbers were on the injection bottle that Ethan injected into Claire's stomach.
(p/s I totally just stole those from Kristin from EOnline-but she just categorized them so nicely!)
I have to say that the episode was exactly what we've been waiting for. I loved Sawyer's comeback to Kate's "I need a gun and you dont get to ask why" line. I hope that Locke doesnt fall for the little mind screw that Henry Gale is doing on him. And what was that all about with Eko cutting off those chin hairs?
Now back to work.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The Hobbit is going down! Not saying anymore since Scott thought it was more important to play volleyball than the possible death of Agent Aaron. Quite the butt clencher Scott, quite the butt clencher.
The girls sucked last night and the bitch has come out!
Her name is Brenna and for sheer entertainment I hope she stays on.
I still have my faves though...
Girls: Katherine McPhee, Lisa Tucker, and Paris
The boys sing tonight and I have already jumped on the bandwagons...Ace, Chris, and Taylor
(God how I love Ace)
Thank God Amazing Race is back and with force! Little tidbits from the premiere last night - as you might know teams of 2 compete for a million buckaroos by racing around the world. Already I'm picking sides!
Lifelong "friends" - ok - say you are gay, its ok. And what the hell was that all about the whole "bring out the genie" crap? They said that its their little joke that when they need luck they pull out the genie. I swear he was going to pull out his penis.
The Screaming Sisters – oh my god these ladies were getting on my nerves! I hope they are out next.
Lake – LAKE! Your name is LAKE! What cracked me up was that he introduced himself to someone as Lake like the ocean and the guy said, I’m Ray, like the sun. Ugh, I’m going to hate him all season long.
Pretty boys – one guy is actually good to look at but he has his nipples pierced – what makes you think that’s attractive? Its not – just makes me want to hook a leash on you and lead you around…wait that aint a bad idea….
Double D’s – you know there is going to be some Real World hooking up between these tramps and the pretty boys – I’m just sayin’