Thursday, April 28, 2005


Carol is watching me type this post. We are at the airport killing time until our fliight leaves...ho hum. Apple juice at Starbucks cost $3.56. Damn my inability to say no to my child. Although the ability to have Jacob throw a tantrum on the plane might be beneficial for some good service. So I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to post while I'm this might be it until we return.

P/S Oscar, quit yer bitching - I didnt steal your post I just paraphrased it. RELAX!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005


This actually reminds me of a story but still - I think I threw up a little in my mouth...


DAMN! I guess...

So last night was our last official night of bowling...we played 9 pin No-Tap which means if you get 9 pins on the first ball, it counts as a strike. This one lady we were playing against got a 300 (perfect game) it was cool. The anchor on our team, Al, got 8 on his very last ball and thus only scored a 298....oh it sucked. We were so excited. I did rather well with the 9 pin no tap deal - I got a 121 and then a 124, we can either blame the no tap or the MGD I was drinking. My team was shocked that I was drinking since I usually only drink soda while we play. It was one beer and I was doing really well, they joked that maybe next season I should start early since it might help my game - yuk yuk yuk. On another low and behold moment - sweater guy took off his sweater. Yes I know...I was shocked as well.

Today is Administrative Professionals Day and I've been so busy! I actually ran home during lunch to try to pack since I get the feeling that I'm going to be rushing when I get home, at least this way I have a bit of a buffer. Jacob is screwed with the DVD battery - I cant find another one for the DVD player. He's just going to have to entertain himself with his cars, coloring books, reading books, and me. With my luck, he'll be so excited he'll crash out for most of the flight. I'm taking this book I started reading "The Devil wears Prada". I think its pretty funny so far - but its early, I'm only in chapter 3, plus my mp3 player. I downloaded this song that I've fallen in love with. Its a country song and my friend was teasing me that I've become a hick since I love country now. Its one freaking song! But I swear it brings a tear to my eye every freaking time I hear it. I know...I know...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

A wee bit tired...

So I was up late cleaning my room and getting my clothes ready for the big trip (3 more days!!!). I talked to the bride to be yesterday and got a better idea of what the itinerary will be. We are going to be going to a Braves game on Friday night. Now - I have a dilemma...I hate the Braves on general principle because I'm a Dodgers fan. There was an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine receives Yankees tickets and wears her Baltimore Orioles cap and since she's sitting in some big shot's seats, they ask her to remove her cap. I believe she eventually gets kicked out for refusing to remove her cap. Anyways - I dont know if we are going into my friend's company box or what because I refuse to cheer for the Braves and if we do go into his box - would it be disrespectful for me to cheer for the opposing team? I think they are playing St. Louis and I'm all about cheering for the other team...but I dont want to be like Elaine. Help? Suggestions? I'm actually kind of curious what you all might think about this....

OK on a side note - I was up watching Letterman and Farrah Fawcett was on as his guest promoting her new reality show. Let me say that in my humble opinion, she looked like CRAP! I was kind of shocked as to how much I was criticizing her physically. She had so much collegen in her lips that her upper lip didnt even move when she talked. It was a wee bit eerie. Gives me the willies just thinking about it.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

What a weekend!

So after a long wait to get my car back from getting it "fixed"on Saturday I finally headed out of town to try to finish up buying the stuff we needed for the big trip next week. So I get to Ontario - went with Carol and Hope to the new mall in the area to knock out some shopping, had a good time. Then went to see a friend in Hollywood and it started to rain - do you remember how much it has rained in the there are sooo many flowers there are sooo many bugs....and how a lot of these bugs decided to perish on my windshield. Well light rain and bug guts dont bode well for my winshield - I actually had to pull over into a gas station and whip the windshield clean to be able to see. Then today I went to Burbank and hit Barnes and Noble and Ikea. Afterwards I went to Tar-Jay and when I came out with my loot, my car wouldnt start. The dumbass I am left the lights on! So I was calling some friends that are local to see if they could come help (because I'm too cheap to get AAA) and for some odd reason, the car finally started on its own - seriously weird. Then I was jonesin for some Fatburger, but the local Fatburger was closed and I had to settle for Panda Express. Ended up seeing a friend I hadnt seen in like 5 years - it was nice to catch up. Drove home and had to hustle to get ready for the BOWLING SHOWDOWN.

BASIC RECAP - we got our asses kicked. Oh well, it was nice being on top for a while.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Lots of Love Everywhere...

So thanks to Scott for the welcome into the club - I can't wait to learn the secret handshake and stuff. A great big CONGRATULATIONS to Kelly and her fiancee! Its no wonder you were saying he wasnt your boyfriend! We get it.

Today is one of my regular Friday's off and so the Jake man, my mom, and I are heading to Lancaster to look for a dress for my friend's wedding last week in Atlanta!!! I cant wait to get out of town - I'm particularly looking forward to Jacob's first plane ride. I'm glad I'm traveling with friends so they can help me carry all his crap. I'm taking his DVD player and I can use the excuse that HE wants to watch Dodgeball and Grease - I love that my kid got my taste in movies. Next is the appreciation of Mel Brooks movies.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Scott Rocks - yet again

So here is the direct link to that post that I referred to earlier.

Also - Kelly has a new boyfriend.


Holy Shit - if ever there was a moment filled with excitement, drama, and jubilation - it was the 10th frame of our third game last night. It came down to the wire my friends. As it turned out I was wrong about something ( I know, brace yourself). If we end up in a tie with wins - we have to play another 3 games to determine the winner. The first game was won quite decidedly by the other team- by 60 pins (even though I freaking kicked ass and got a 135 score). The second game - we lost by 10 pins (my score was 91) and the last game we won by 5 pins (I got a 97). We ended up in a tie and we are playing again on Sunday night to determine who will be the champion. When I say that I was humming the Eye of the Tiger - I am not kidding. This is a little inspirational thing that Scott taught me and it freaking worked! Since I cant figure out how to link to that specific post - please click here and read the "Did I Miss The News" post. Then I went home and played Literati (like Scrabble) on Yahoo! with a friend and beat him all three games.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Ok - so yesterday I finally finished this big project I've been working on. Its a cookbook for a fundraiser for the children of the sailors that have passed away while in our squadron. I told my boss I was going to add Publisher to my resume.

TONIGHT IS THE BIG NIGHT!! Yes my friends, tonight we go for the bowling championship. We are up by 2 games against the 2nd place team and we play against them tonight. The object is to win 2 games. If we win two games then we locked it up. HOWEVER, if we only win 1 - we lose the championship because they have more total pins throughout the season. Let me just say that we are going to get our asses kicked. These people are so good. And we think they cheat! A couple of their people when they were setting their averages purposely sucked and now they just get strikes left and right. No I'm not bitching (well maybe just a little bit) but its totally not fair if they did that. I keep telling my team that we need to buy the opposing team tequila shots and stuff - maybe we'll stand a chance then. So wish us luck.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

A living will

So ever since the Shiavo case, I have gotten into some interesting conversations with people about the whole "What If" thing. I already talked to my brother about him having power of attorney for me since I knew that he was the only one that do what I ask. So in hopes to pass along some words of wisdom about living wills. Hope you find this useful - or at least funny.

Friday, April 15, 2005


Thank goodness because I couldnt handle one more day at work. Dont get me wrong, I love my job its just been a loooong week with the drama and the previously mentioned sick child. So to celebrate, I'm posting this joke that my cousin Jonathan sent me - yes the freak. Thanks Yona!

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a package of chicken breasts, a head of romaine lettuce, a two pound can of coffee, and a pound of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk man standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this question, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her seven items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Uh...WTF...and what a dumbass!

So let me say that I was going through the local newspaper online and read about how a woman had gone missing and sadly they found her body in her apartment. But the two reasons I'm commenting on the story are (1) in the picture there is a truck of a company that "Specializes in accident and tragical cleanup" How do you come up with the idea to have this business (mind you I'm sure because of all the hazmat licensing and training you need you rake in a lot of dough) (2) At the end of the story, it says that a crowd gathered at the crime scene and they ended up arresting someone with an outstanding warrant. DUMBASS-if you have a warrant, don't go to the cops...let them come to you.

Love is a punk ass bitch

So I have been dealing with work drama and Jacob being sick with both allergies and a cold/flu. Let me tell you it sucks! I want to be sick for him because its making him miserable and on another level its freaking gross having a three year old throw up twice a day. Its so sweet to hear him call my name for comfort and call me at work asking me to come home to read to him - on another I go to work to try not to get sick. Its going to happen but oh well, what can be done...right? The joys of parenthood people.

Ok - so you are probably wondering about my subject line. That show that I have ranted about a bit - STRANGE LOVE - with Gitte and Foofy Foofy finally ended with Gitte going back to Italy to sort our her feelings between Foofy Foofy and Mattias (her fiance). The cat was let out of the bag that she married Mattias about a week ago. Damn - I would have sooo watched these two on another reality show a la Newlyweds - thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, err Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey...yeah thats it. Anyways - there are quite a few things on television that make me shudder and for some reason watching them make out in the hallway just skyrocketed pretty high on my list. So back to the title of the post - they have these little songs that accompany clip collages and one of the songs I'm assuming was called "Love in a punk ass bitch". For the life of me, I cannot remember the lyrics and as soon as I find them I will be posting them because they were funny.

So still talking about reality shows - I was up late one night and caught yet another reality show called FORTY DEUCE about this cabaret show that is moving from LA to Vegas. The show I watched apparently was the first show and introduced the casty of zany characters. So one of the characters has to go back to Argentina (I'm guessing her visa ran out) and so they had to do an open casting call for another dancer. They had an open casting call so all the freaks came out - there was a stripper midget. Yes...a stripper midget. I was in one word - ODD. I dont know what my recent affinity for midgets has been but they have been coming up in conversation left and right. I was telling a friend of mine about this show and he mentioned midget porn....yeah - I know. And the question that is going through your mind - you bet your ass I'm going try to rent on, I'm curious as hell. My brother is probably going OMG! And my cousin Jonathan has probably already seen it since he finds the freakiest things on the internet.

Sunday, April 10, 2005


Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Where do they come up with these things?


So I leave town to try to find a dress for my friend's wedding at the end of the month. So I drive down and the massacre begins. It has been a very wet winter so the flowers are in full bloom...therefore there are bugs EVERYWHERE. My car looks like I went through a bug car wash. So I tried to avoid a piece of tire in the road and my vanilla pepsi goes flying into the floor board of the passenger side. I pull over to get as much of it soaked up, but to no avail - the damage is done. We went to the mall and found a cute top and something for the Jake man, had some dinner at Hooters, and went back to Carol's house. CAROL MADE ME CRY. We watched THE NOTEBOOK - yes I have never seen the movie until that night and I followed her advice and took my contacts out before the movie started. OMG - I have not cried that much since this Hallmark commercial about a neighbor who takes a card to her elderly neighbor. I was weeping people - WEEPING. Thanks a lot Carol...Thanks a lot. My eyes were puffy the next morning and everything. I get ready to leave and when I get in the car...I guess a skunk decided to mark my car as part of its territory - ewwww. So then I go to the Glendale Galleria mall to look again for my dress - mind you I hate shopping - HATE shopping. I ended up buying this perfume that I've wanted for a while now and decided to shell out the money for it. I bought some paella from this kick ass restaurant in Glendale - El Morfi. They serve Paella on Sundays only - paella is various seafood, chicken, and rice...oh so yummy. I brought some back for my parents and they were oh so grateful. I said I have a surprise for dinner, dont make anything and my dad figured it out and they called every 20 mintues to find out where I was. They are so funny.

Time for Arrested Development and Desperate Housewives.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Life is too short...

So I get back to work to find an email from a friend of mine stating the death of an old supervisor of mine. I worked in his office for a year - let me tell you that I was shocked...he was 43 years old and died of natural causes (a heart condition). I broke down and cried about 5 times throughout the day. I dont even know why I'm typing this out on my blog. So thats why I havent been up to date on this thing - I've been contemplating my life choices and such because thats what you do when you get slapped in the face with the reality of death. Anyways - I've also been really busy at work, notice how I'm multitasking lunch, blog, and answering the phone? Well duh you cant see the phone and lunch but trust me its there. Tomorrow I have to get up early to help set up our golf tournament, then I'm going to Jess's memorial service, back to the golf tournament, and a comedy show...all on Friday. Not to mention on running on little sleep because Jacob has a cough from allergies that kept me up most of the night. Poor little guy. So I'll be in LA this weekend looking for my dress for my friend's wedding at the end of this month....its fun to spend money!

Monday, April 04, 2005

I'm so tired....

Had a really great weekend...ended up in Vegas, saw my brother and the fam, and won cash at craps. Everytime I walked up to a table I ended up at least doubling what I started with.

So let me give you the important points of a great craps tables for your next trip to Sin City.

1) Good table vibe - if your table is quiet and no one is talking to one another...walk to another table. You need to have the good table chi.

2) If you dont know the shooter's name - give them a nickname. Its always good to get the group behind the shooter if you are collectively calling them something other than HEY YOU.
  • When I got there Dick was shooting - Dick was a man of about 65 yrs of age and helped buffer quite a starting bank roll for yours truly.
  • Then there was Columbia, this guy who was wearing a Columbia shirt.
  • Crazy guy - this guy who had this crazed look on his face...we joked that we were going to take him to a post office to see what would happen.
  • Mrs. Crazy Guy - crazy guy's gf or wife.
  • Pinky ring guy - are you getting the gist of this?

Then there my side of the table - the cool side:

  • John - shot really good and won me $75 on one roll and Oklahoma's life coach (see below)
  • Tyler - skater dude that was drinking his screwdrivers like they were kool-aid
  • Scooter - Tyler's friend that seriously I wondered what he did because he would put about $250 out on the table on every roll
  • The Reverend because he kept preaching about how we need to focus
  • Oklahoma - some tractor magazine publisher from Oklahoma who coined the phrase HARD NINE and got John to be his life coach because John kept spilling out words of wisdom - John was no more than 27 years old.
  • Moi - btw...if anyone asks...according to Oklahoma I won the Pulitzer Prize in Erotic Fiction.
3) Be loud - people like loud and obnoxious....I was told by my friend that they heard me (specifically) and when the person at the card table they were at made a comment about how loud I was being...they said that someone needed to shut me up - thanks for the love - but I can't help but get excited when I win...$7 is $7.

4) Spend Spend Spend - Just keep putting money on the table and always get odds on the pass line pays 2 to 1.

Thats my recap. My mom recorded Desperate Housewives so I'm going to go watch it. CAN'T WAIT!

Saw Sin City on Saturday - great movie....full price people...full price of admission.