I've had this in my back pocket for a while now and I wasnt sure how to post it without it seeming rather odd. I needed something to relate to the story so it wouldn’t be so weird, and luckily I found it today.
A while back, someone said to me out of the blue "Did you know that a lamb's vagina is the closest to a human's?" The funny thing, is that I knew what he meant, that if someone is having le sex with le lamb, it’s the closest resemblance feeling wise (ya with me?) Ok so after I gave him this “what the fuck did you do in high school?” look, he explained that a “friend” told him. I said “yeah right” and continued with our conversation.
Few months later, we were chatting about a house he wanted to buy and how it was considered a "farmhouse". I said, “Oh, so you can get a sheep instead of getting a girlfriend, think about it, it will be cheaper and you don’t get the back talk.” He laughed and then said, “Did you know that farmers would put the back legs of a lamb into their boots so the lambs wouldn’t run away” I was speechless for a minute before I said “How in God’s name do you think that I would know that?!?!” Then he said, “You can also go to the edge of something, like a roof or cliff and have the sheep at the edge and they will push back on it so it will be deeper.”
Dude, you could have heard crickets (and this was in the middle of the day).
I just busted up laughing – I couldn’t believe that he said this…frankly I come up with random shit so I appreciate people that do with same with me but I have to get like a dance card with some of the conversations I’ve had with this guy. I asked him who it was that told him all this because if he only said “a friend” I was going to assume it was him and no matter how much he told me otherwise, till the day I died, it was going to be him that did all this with a lamb (or lambs…ewww). He fessed up who it was, but I still tease him on occassion about it possibly being him.
Anyways. back to what I found that allowed me to post this story:
Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
I’m sorry, but you have to admit those Elders sure have a sense of humor.