Pluck and Blow

While interviewing Wynton Marsalis on the latest episode of the Colbert Report, they showed a very short clip of Stephen Colbert playing a saxophone with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar playing a double bass. Yes, I did a double take and then a few minutes of some internet searching and VOILA! I find the original clip where they pulled it from.

The best laugh I had all day. Enjoy...

Whew! Thought It Was Just Me...

One day, after watching an episode of "Two and a Half Men" (don't judge me) I noticed that one of the slides at the end of the episode had a little bit more writing than usual. With the magic of TiVo, I paused the screen to see a slide from Chuck Lorre Productions. It was something like this (its not exactly this but I picked this one because its funny):

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #111*

This is the official "I have nothing worth writing about" vanity card. It will run whenever I have nothing worth writing about. Don't be surprised to see it quite a bit. From now on, when our schedule requires me to deliver a new card and I'm empty, I'll simply say, "Run one eleven." A check of the one hundred and ten cards I've already written will quickly demonstrate that I should have written this card a long time ago. Why didn't I? Vanity. I had become vain about my vanity cards. I was determined to write a new one each week because, well... I'm just that kind of guy. But I'm older and wiser now. I know when I have nothing to say. And that knowledge is freedom. Freedom from the constant need to win your approval. And more importantly, freedom from the obsessive and relentless need to end each vanity card on a joke. The Electoral College.*

1st Aired: 8 Nov 2004

I have to admit that on the one hand I'm so happy I found these Vanity Cards because they are so funny and on the other hand I'm sooo pissed off at myself that I had never seen them before! Its like my tv is giving me this look...the exact same look that I pictured my brother giving me when I told him I discovered "This American Life". That look goes something like this:

New Blog of Note!

Jessica tweeted about this blog called "Sad Guys on Trading Floors". I just spent the past 30 minutes laughing my ass off.

Attempts to Recover

I really don't like the randomness that viruses hit people. Colds, flu, stomach flu...its all so whatever. When it comes to me though, I've noticed that I'm losing my voice a lot more frequently than I used to. Which actually isn't that bad when you are at home alone. However, it does become a pain when people are calling you to check up on you and you really dont have the energy (or voice) to have any sort of conversation other than "Hi, I'm sick, ok, uh-huh, ok, bye". Kostas sent me this awesome e-card that pretty much sums up what I've come to realize what sick days are, days to "Eat, Sleep, and Relax"

In that spirit, I made a hamburger soup on Saturday afternoon and have had enough left over to feed me all weekend.

I've relaxed by watching the movies below:
Season 2 of 30 Rock - I swear that show is so funny, if you haven't started watching it, I highly recommend it.
Smart People - it took awhile for me to get into the movie but when I pulled back I finally got into it. I liked it but didnt love it.
Victor/Victoria - Ok I've seen this movie about 20 times and the ending always cracks me up.
The Squid and the Whale - Yeah...I tried to watch it with the "its an independent film" and thought maybe I wasnt "smart" enough to get it. I got it and did not like it. I liked what they tried to do with it but above all I didnt like the characters, I hated the father (especially) and the older son. I always feel that if I cant cheer for the characters, there is no point to watch the movie.
Stranger Than Fiction - I've seen this movie before and always end up watching it when its on cable. I just really enjoy it and its one of those movies I always forget to buy when I see it in the store.
Dan in Real Life - This was on my Netflix queue and I saw it on cable and jumped on the chance to see it. The funny thing is that I thought Catherine Keeler was in this movie and kept waiting for her to come out. Movie ended and no Catherine! I know that its my own mini dorkiness but since its my blog I figured I shared. By the way, I really liked the movie.

Since there were times when channel surfing was the only thing to watch, I ended up catching the finales of the following movies:
Enchanted - This is one of those movies that I was happy to have a child to drag to. It's cute enough to make me cry (lets be real, when don't I cry) and campy enough to make me laugh.
Dirty Dancing - I gotta say, this was one of those moments where I actually said "Oh! Oh! Oh!" I turned to the movie right when Johnny says "No one puts Baby in the corner!"
Philadelphia - I turned to the movie right after the verdict was given. Well, if you've seen the movie you know what happens. :(

On top of all that movie goodness, I also finished a scarf and started making a hat. I've never made a hat, so lets see how this sucker comes out. Lets cross our fingers people!

Weekend Update

Nothing like heading into a beautiful weekend with a sore throat and no energy.

Note to My Brother

I found it!!! The best deterrent for mom...

Me: So mom, what do you think of the sign in my window?
Mom: Oh yes, I saw it. I almost didnt come in.
Me: Well, that was kind of the point.
Dad: Ha!

Talking Politics

I got my sample ballot today. I can't tell you how excited I am about receiving it. Its like the countdown has officially begun. I've already made my decision about some of the races and measures. But others, I still have some research to do until I can render my verdict.

I have to admit that I've never been so riveted and so vocal about any election as I am with this one; so much so that I'm actually considering being a poll worker this election day. Yes, 4 years ago I walked around a VERY Republican workplace saying how Bush was the WORST choice and was met with angry jeers and not-so-nice retorts. Today, I'm surrounded by many, many of my fellow Dems and sit back and watch most of Republicans and undecideds the drink this Palin worship inducing kool aid and ask myself - WHY?!?!?! WHY are you guys buying this BULLSHIT?!?!?

Here was my defining moment with Dubya and why I dislike, distrust, and disrespect him: if he were to envoke the draft to supply the military personnel to fight the war he ILLEGALLY launched, would he allow his daughters to go? The answer is no! He would send them off somewhere where they would evade the draft! He would hide behind some policy and yet force other families to send their children, siblings, or parents off to war. Some may say "Well, it was really Dick Cheney and Karl Rove pulling the strings" Really? You REALLY think that the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES would allow himself to be hoodwinked?!?!? I don't think so. Thats my major sticking point (among many, many points) with Dubya.

Now, I actually respect the fact that McCain served in the military. I respect that he was in the House of Representatives for 4 years and then has been a Senator for 20 years. No doubt he has a plethera of experience and knowledge to share. He's promoting himself as a Maverick (take a shot people!) which may be true because he has always been on the brink of walking away from the Republican party. Thats not being a Maverick, thats being not committed. I think that this year was his "turn". Four years ago, he got pushed out of the race because of a smear campaign by Dubya. By the way, where is Dubya's support? Oh yes...they dont want him around. More harm than good. If you can't trust your own party who can you trust right? By the way - are you aware that most of Bush's advisors are moving over to McCain's campaign? (p/s he needs to stop calling me his friend - me no likey)

Enter Sarah Palin. Palin has been great comedy fodder for, well everyone. She promotes herself to be one of us. Someone who Americans can relate to and therefore should vote for her because one of us will be in the White House. First of all, she is not like me. HELL NO. I don't know about any of you but I dont want someone like me in the White House! I want someone smarter, a more creative thinker, more decisive, and many things that I want my LEADER to be. Someone who can fix the economy, not have issues like I have with my checkbook and impulsive spending. I don't want her representing what I believe in because we DO NOT believe in the same things. Equality, Reproductive Rights, Protecting the Environment...should I continue?

Now Joe Biden. I just have to say that Joe Biden reminds me of that uncle that I would run to if I was in a shitload of trouble and needed help fast. He would listen to me ramble about what happened then help as best he could. Thats a man I want supporting my President!

Have you figured out who I'm voting for? If its still not clear, here is a little something I picked up last weekend and is sitting in my apartment window.

Go out this November 4th and exercise your right to vote!

The Un-Lucky Burger Joint

There is this burger place down the street that I've been wanting to try for a while now. I drive by it at least 3 times a week but never stop. Why? Well, thats the funny thing. I never have any interest in getting something at any time. Then why the curiousity to try? For the sake of trying.

Tonight I couldn't decide on what to have for dinner. It was too late to make anything at home and I wasnt in the mood to buy anything from my usual fast food joints (can I get an amen for Taco Bell?!?). I figured I would just go for it.

That was a complete and utter failure.

I ordered chili nachos because I'm dying to find a place where I can find chili nachos that remind me of the days of yore when I would watch my dad coach soccer when I was a kid. Its been 20 years!! You would think I would have found it already!

One of the Strangest Things I've Ever Seen

Hanging out with some friends last night, we saw this commercial come on the tv.



I cannot tell you how creepy I find this commercial. I mean really? As irresistable as chocolate? I get the concept but its really REALLY creepy that this guy is tearing his limbs off and melting his body parts. And dont get me started on the girls that bites the guy's ass.

Truth time - is it creepy or is it just me?

Weekend Plans

This is how I want to be all weekend:

Doubtful it will happen considering the Dodgers are playing the Cubbies tonight in game 3. I'll be too busy jumping up and down cheering for my boys in blue.

Its Effing Hot!

Ok - when did the summer start again? I'm sitting on my bed with the window wide open and the fan on and I'm still sweating.

WTF?!?!?

I hate when mother nature says "See - I told you people to carpool!"

Innneresting...

I was channel surfing and came across and episode of How Its Made about maxi pads. Can I just state that I'm strangely intrigued?

Now its concrete pipes. Kind of not as interesting - I must say.

Tina Fey is Awesome!

A couple of weeks ago, Tina Fey returned to her roots at SNL to do the opening skit as Sarah Palin and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton. If you haven't seen it or want to see it again - click below.



This weekend, Tina Fey reprised her role as Sarah Palin in a "recreation" of her interview with Katie Couric (Amy Poehler). Can I just say brilliant? The thing is if you watched the actual interview - this parody is not that far off in how Palin answered Couric's questions.



I hope Tina Fey gets an Emmy for these performances.

A Whirlwind of a Week

Last week started like any other except for one thing - a countdown had begun. My Greek was leaving to visit family to Germany and was going to be gone for a few months. Yes, you read months and not weeks. Which is one of the reasons I haven't really been updating this thing.

Its funny how denial works. He kept saying that he was leaving but I wasn't hearing it. I knew he had the tickets, but the date seemed so far away. Not until he was saying good-bye to my parents and Jake did I realize that this was actually happening. And for those of you that know me - I did react emotionally to it.

Last Wednesday, some spontaneity kicked in and we decided to see Wicked at the Pantages. Can I just say - WOW! It was a great show and I look forward to going again before they leave Los Angeles. I have to admit that I will never really see The Wizard of Oz movie again the same way. In the show/book, it explains what happened before Dorothy showed up and the musical really gave The "Wicked" Witch of the West this endearing personality. I'm not going to get into the details because 1) you can look it up if you want and 2) I don't want to spoil it for anyone. Let's just say that I had a few "no shit!" and "A-ha!" moments in the Pantages. And lets not forget a couple of times that the hairs on my arms stood up because of the great performance of Teal Hicks as Elphaba (The Wicked Witch of the West) and Erin Mackey as Galinda (Glinda the Good).

The rest of the week seemed to be a lot of running around on its own - but with a great added twist. My old HS buddy Kelena was dropping by for a visit. It was weird trying to be a good hostess to her and try to be a good gf to Kostas while he got ready for his trip. Lucky for me, Kelena only needed a bed and a set of my apartment keys to feel right at home. ;-) I was very happy to have been able to spend time with her while she was in town; even though it was mostly in our pj's. And no - we did not have any sort of pillow fight while she was here. Pervs.

My Father, The Hero

Last year, I bought a couch from Levitz - an experience a part of me felt I would forget and only remember with warm memories because of the new piece of furniture I received.

A few months ago, I noticed to notice that one part of the couch felt differently from the other. I thought I was only me until Kostas started making comments about it too. Because Levitz furniture filed for bankruptcy about 6 months ago - my warranty went out the window. Honestly, I have just come to accept that this is how it is and will buy a new couch sometime next year.

Enter my father.

If you don't know my father - the man can fix ANYTHING and in the most creative ways ever. We have this little game we play, when something breaks in my apartment I pretend to fix it or pretend to not have a solution and TA-DA instant handyman. The man even brings me extra tools so he has them here to fix things. Through the course of some conversation, I make a comment about the broken couch.

At this moment, he has the couch on its side with pieces all over my living room floor claiming victory in finding the root of the problem.

Of All The Freaking Frakking...

After a whole week of not having my car...after almost reaching my limit with the whole public transportation system..

It was not the starter - it was the battery!

I could have fixed the car!!!

DAMMIT.

My Mom Is A Panther!!!!

A Case of the Mondays

I had this feeling this morning that I shouldn't get up for work. I fought the feeling and went in. Overall the day was good...until I went to my car. Now a couple of weeks ago, I got to my car and found one of the tires flat.

Today - the starter died.

I had opted to stay late, to wait for the traffic to die down - go figure. So by the time all this happened, most of the coworkers heading in my direction had already gone home. Off to the metro I go!

To get home, I take the Metro to downtown LA and then get off on one stop that has all of the buses that pass down the street from my place. I get on the bus and am happily entertained with my Scrabble on my iPod. All of a sudden, I look up and see this on one of the monitors in the bus.



This has to be the worst thing I have ever seen! Do they feel because we are trapped we have to be subjected to this crap? I have to make sure my iPod is properly charged for the trip into the office tomorrow morning.

Got Themselves Some New Fans!

Yesterday was great day my friends...a great day.

Kostas, Jake, and I went to go see some amatuer Sumo wrestling at the LA Sports Arena. I walked in with the intent of having a good time and I walked out with stories to tell for years to come.

I have no idea where to start! We arrived at venue when the doors opened and we got GREAT seats. The first portion of the program was the qualifying rounds for the three weight classes competing that day; lightweight (weight up to 187 lbs), middleweight(weight up to 253lbs), and heavyweight (weight over 253 lbs). In case you dont know the rules of sumo, its pretty simple.

The winner of a sumo bout is either:
The first wrestler to force his opponent to step out of the ring or the first wrestler to force his opponent to touch the ground with any part of his body other than the bottom of his feet.

There must have been about 30 people in our section and about 70 people total in the arena when the qualifiers started - so when we screamed or heckled...it was heard by everyone. The lightweights were up first and we all decided to cheer on Art. Lets take a gander at Art's profile picture in the program:

What cracked me up the most was that he would have to take his glasses off before getting into the ring. Unfortunately, he didn't qualify but we will get back to him during the OPEN WEIGHT competition. And if you think that sounds like fun, you are getting ahead in the story!

After we got warmed up with the lighweights, we moved onto the middleweights. The middleweights brought us more bouts and well...here we go. Lets start with James.

This is James:

James is 55 years young and quite the sumo wrestler. He was the oldest competitor and a nice guy I must say. Just so you all know, he is also "The Rope Master".

Guy #2 to speak of is Mark. Oh Mark. When we first arrived we saw this guy warming up in the ring. Now...most of the non-heavyweight wrestlers wore biker shorts or something underneath their mawashi (the official name of the diaper that Jacob found out from a security guard and kept correcting me because he got sick of his mother embarassing him). But not Mark! Oh no..Mark went against the grain and let it all hang out. On top of that he had this way of walking around that was really funny. Here is a quick picture of Mark and his greatness. Mark is the guy in the middle with the pony tail. The way he is standing is the way he walks.



After a few qualifying bouts we get to the heavyweights! I have to say that I was pretty impressed as to how many Americans there are wrestling. Another thing I noticed was this spiffy move that I named "The Wiley Coyote" where they would be pushing on one another like below and then it would seem like they would take a step back to get their breath and then they would charge - one would get out of the way and then the other guy would get out of bounds and lose. I dont know about you, but that made me laugh everytime because I thought, "Why didnt the guy know he was going to do that?!?!"


So after the Final rounds, the wrestlers were hanging around waiting for the Open Weight competition to start. This allowed some fans to get up close and meet some of them. Including me...



After the Kodak moment, the Open Weight competition was about to begin and we snagged some seats about 4 rows from the stage. That gave us a great opportunity to watch the action up front. The Open Weight competition is very different from the regular weight competitions because anyone in any weight can compete against one another. So yes, someone from the lightweight category can be drawn to compete against a heavyweight. And yes, it did happen and yes...it was quite hilarious - even Jake got a little mad.



Ah yes - sitting really close you get all the action. The slapping! The grunting! Seeing too much of the wrestler's inside thighs...(shudder)



If we had to endure it in person, you all have to suck it up and see it too! I took that picture specifically for this blog. You are welcome! :)

Another thing that we noticed was that these guys all seemed to be friends. This was evident in the Open Weight competition between Siosifa (heavyweight) and Art (lightweight). And yes, that is my laughing and screaming on the tape.



The best moment of the day has to go to Mark - remember him? Yes...well this video captures the essence of the day for him I believe. As Kostas said, "He seems like he's the guy no one likes."



Truly one of my favorite moments when he ran away. If I wasnt recording I probably would have fallen on the ground from all the laughing.

All in all - a great freaking day people! I highly recommend going to one of these things if you get the chance.

Hiatus Over!

I don't know why I haven't been posting but I'm back now. Just got to get my shizz together to get some posts up.

More to come...