READER PROFILE: Jessica

Its been a while since I've done one of these but I guess its best to wait until you get a good one. So the good one for today is JESSICA!!! She's the very same Jessica from The Cheeky Monkey link you see in my Blogs I Read section and likes to make smart ass comments in the comment section.


So I've been waiting and waiting for a picture from Jessica and I finally get this (and by finally I mean over the weekend and this is the first time I can dedicate to getting it up).

Its cute! Except it doesn't show the flirting she's so good at.

So away we go with the Q&A

Begun at 12:10 am GST on 17 November, 2005. I told you I've been waiting for the picture for a long time.

1. Where do you live?

Bournemouth, England, United Kingdom. You know that collection of countries whose square mileage is smaller than that of Oregon and where everyone thinks a 2 hour commute is longer than the stone-age? The one with the Queen right?

2. What do you do?

I am a post-grad student in Events Management at Bournemouth University. The only American in my program, but not the only outspoken obnoxious person. Thank God! One of the other students told me the other day that I sound like the people on TV in Hollywood. No joke. Thats awesome - just so you know, you are going for a degree I could only dream of.

3. Why do you read my blog?

Mostly to pass the time between reading 500 books, writing in MY blog, and holding the hands of 19 other post-grad students. You know you crack me up. You only ask that question so people will boost your ego for crying out loud! HELLO - Its my blog and for the record I ask this of everyone, quit bitching you answered the question.

4. What is your favorite story?

It would have to be the one about that kid that woke up the hulk who then chased him up some giant bean-stalk thingy only to find repunzel at the top with a butch hair-cut and making out with Cinderella. I know I'm deranged at times. I also know you were talking about you, AGAIN.Let's see. I've only been reading this thing since July maybe....I'm going to have to say the standard cop-out - I like them all. No really. They've all made me laugh in some way or another and that's all that really matters. I refuse to alienate just one and make all of the others feel inferior. I just can't do it. It seems so cruel....Yet another shameless plug that she saw through...

5. How much do you Ridgecrest and China Lake?

This was an incomplete question when it was sent to me. Did you want to know if I missed the Ridge or China Lake? Or do I loathe them? Or how much do I want to invite them over for tea and bicuits?I don't miss R/C or CL, but I do miss the people that I met while working there (yes, even you). I miss my mom, grandma, and my cat -my big fluffy-wuffy, pink-nosed, little... er, sorry. Anyway, I don't hate R/C or CL, it just sucked to be single there because, well frankly, it just sucked.Places like R/C make you realize why people adopted rocks as pets in the 70s....Sorry, it was incomplete - and you did guess correctly. I hear ya woman.

6. Doesnt it suck that we didnt start hanging out until we had both decided to get the hell out of there?

Yes it does suck and I am quite traumitized by it actually. My therapist says that my only hope for the pain is to buy shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. Pointy toed shoes I suppose...its quite a good prescription.

7. Details about the cute Brit boys you are meeting - remember this blog has no rating -woohoo first amendment!

There have been two previous Brit boys before I even moved here. One is an idiot who I finally kicked to the curb (where he belongs) last month and the other is a Brit-Italian hybrid who still calls me weekly to make me feel gooood ;). Hey, blame Melissa for wanting details, ok?Since arriving in the UK: Brit boy #1: nice, but too old for me. Liked football and me a lot, but the feeling wasn't mutual. Brit boy #2: hotter than Hedes and built like a Roman God (jawline included) but a little on the duh side. He is a pilot for British Airways (scary, I know) that i pulled (picked-up) at a bar one night and went on 3 dates with. Then he kissed me and I knew that there would never be a destination wedding, 2 gorgeous kids, and retirement together in Fiji. Hoover anyone? Brit boy #3: sexy professional sailor that you can read about how I met in my blog. The third date ended with him pulling an asshole maneuver. Seeing a 3rd date pattern here? Destiny my ass!(Mel-please hyperlink my blog entry- too much info to explain again. Thanks!) Italian boy #1: works at Starbucks, which I frequent almost everyday (my little slice of America). He started talking to me last week, or did I start talking to him? Ah well, he asked me to go out dancing with him and some of his friends last weekend and it turned out to only be him (they apparently all pooped-out). He's handsome and totally sweet, but I'm not really physically attracted to him. If you saw the way he danced the other night, you would completely understand. Also, I thought for a moment that he might be bisexual (he's not). He's hilarious, so I know that he'll at least be a fun friend....plus helping him with his english is quite entertaining. I get tired just reading about your men.

8. Yeah yeah - I finally put a link to your blog on mine. Happy now?

Yes. I FINALLY feel worthy. I can die happy now, well, as long as I'm also buried with all of my diamonds. I'm glad I can give closure to one person in my life.

9. Share a secret...

...but then it won't be a secret. Here it goes....I have eyebrow-plucking OCD. Not sure if there is a technical psychological term for it yet, but I'm sure its bound to be covered by Medicare when I no longer have eyebrows that need it. I border on that at times, but stop myself short of getting rid of them because I dont want to look like one of those women that take a pencil and stencil themselves the weirdest looking eyebrows on earth. BTW its called Trichotillomania, I looked it up.

10. JESSICA's question or questions....

Most commonly asked question of me: Are you Canadian? No, god-dammit, I'm not! Eh?

My turn now: Mel, have you and the dirty green knight slept together yet? No - I dont even know his real name. Not like that has stopped me before! My brother just cringed.

Do you think all of those boys would have really gathered for a picture with me before I left? Yes, being the pushy gals that we are and their need for attention - definitely.

Doesn't seeing those men pee in the street kind of get you a little excited? NO Be honest!! Ok...I find it funny (weird funny not ha ha funny) that people lay in doorways and say "Ok, I'm home" and part of that is turning around and urinating on their kitchen counter. When I walk by alleys and smell the stench, I wonder if it was from a homeless person or from someone who just couldnt wait to find a restroom. Then I get pissed at the person who couldnt wait and that they pissed in someone's possible home. Yes, I know I need help.

Have you found anything unrecognizable, questionable or blatantly sexual of your roomate's yet? Yes

What was it? ( I walked into Rob's room the other day and could have sworn it smelled like sex. Dirty, raunchy, all-night-long sex.Then I remembered who my flatmate is and thought "naaaa".) I can actually picture you doing that! I found his porn stash, which quite frankly wouldnt be an issue since I consider him one of my closest friends and we have had very candid conversations HOWEVER he does have a big screen in the living room and I did sleep on his couch...things started to click - sooooo I bought a new bed.

When are you and the Jakeman going to come to the land of crooked teeth and pub-crawls to see me? First I need to take care of somethings like finding an apartment, then I'll start saving for a trip. If I take the Jakeman we need to find a babysitter for the pub-crawl, I'm stating now that I refuse to leave him with Rob.

Phew, I'm spent....Finished 1:37 am GST 17 November, 2005.