Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year - New You

I had read on someone else's blog about a website where you can set up a profile and list your goals - little things like "learning how to weld" or "getting my MBA" and it got me thinking about the things I want for the next year. Sure I can list what I want, but what is the new year going to actually bring me? Happiness? Success? Sadness? Empowerment? I'm not really sure what it will bring me but I can sure know what I'm going to be asking for.

Before the new year dawned on my new life I needed to let the old one go - I got in my car and I ended up in Santa Monica - I parked my car and made my way in the rain through the sandy beach and stood by the shore. Watching the surfers ride the weather driven waves and the birds fly above me - I realized this the moment to let things go. The rain stopped and I stood there and told the Pacific my dreams and my goals for the new year. I told her my fears and regrets of the past year and just like the sea foam, they seemed to disappear into the waves. It felt like an eternity as I stood by the shore telling the ocean my deepest thoughts, then all of a sudden the rain began to fall again. I turned to walk back to my car and I didnt feel like I was getting wet at all. I just kept walking through the sand - feeling the steps getting lighter and lighter. My new life is starting to take form because of the new outlook. I realized then when I sat on the warm, dry seat that I was soaked. I ended up driving to the Sherman Oaks Galleria and treated myself to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Women were sitting around drinking their spring water and eating their salads, while I ate a hearty meal with chicken and mashed potatoes. I even had dessert - tiramisu cheesecake. When I left - I was full and happy and ready to face the new year.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Poor Birdie!

Meet Candy

I started reading another blog after a funny story about a woman's hellish ride in a NY taxi cab during the transit strike. Low and behold I check it out this morning and I find a link to this story about Candy. See, Candy was attacked by her cagemate and lost her legs in the fight and a veterinarian made prosthetic legs for the bird.
Ahhh - TGIF.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Legit? Maybe...But Still Fun!

We all know that I'm a LOST fanatic - found this link to yet another LOST website. Dont know if its real or not but like I said, its nice to get sucked into it.

If you select all and then copy and paste in to an excel spreadsheet you will see a bunch of hyper links in the cells. My favorite is K-10. Also note that the copyright of the document is 2009.

Enjoy!

Funny Things Around the Web

Since work is stressing me out beyond belief, I figured a nice breather would revitalize our minds (and the blog). Here are some things I found of interest from the web...

If you are trying to launch into a new career - how about this?

My Kings Rule! So much for Colorado being a powerhouse this year and damn, Rob Blake can be a big baby!

Ducks suck - the goalie gives up one goal and its his own teammate that scores - Selanne should have stayed in San Jose.

HOLY CRAP!!! I was reading my horoscope and they had this link to what your resolutions should be based on your sign. I freaked because one of the "suggestions" is exactly what I had planned to do.

I love Blogging LA - seriously.

HELL NO!

I dont know about you, but this is pretty freaking cute.

I was wondering the same thing.

Is this why he sucks as our President?

I need the money - but no thanks.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Belated Xmas Greetings

Ho Ho Ho people - Merry Belated Christmas! I've been so wrapped up in things that I didnt even get a chance to send out Christmas cards. Sorry. If you were lucky, you got a phone call.

As for my Christmas, things went pretty well. I've come to the cruel realization that Christmas is really for the kids. Not too much loot - although a certain someone did feed the addiction to my crafty side and someone else gave me a cool ring with my birthstone on it - couple of sweaters and a box of licorice. Seriously, I love the box of licorice.

The Jakeman went crazy over his gifts. Loved the jersey and the kids digital camera that "Santa" brought him. AWWWW. After we took Jacob to his dad's for the week - I took my parents to Yuma to see the new baby in the family. How dumb are we that we didnt take one single picture of the baby! We were just involved in lots of family activity and low and behold, yours truly made a ham. My mom was shocked and kept asking me why I dont do anything at home - HAHA, because I'm a guest now in my home and at my aunt's I was "helping".

Back to work.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Santa vs. Mommy

I'm starting to gather that every year its going to be a competition with Santa.

Last year, I had an epiphany about being a parent and not only just giving presents from Santa but also giving present from me. This year, the story is different - I dont want to be overshadowed by the man in red. Sure, Santa may bring him lots of books and such, but mommy is giving him a Kings jersey. When I buy him his presents, I want to give him the better gifts, you know? Some people think I'm over thinking this...am I? I don't think so. Since, as adults, the joy is to watch the reaction that people have when they open that present that you searched high and low to find or even better, made for them - of course you want them to think and say "Damn this was the best Christmas ever!"

For me, its turned into this sick competition with a fictional holiday character for the sake of furthering an illusion for a preschooler.

Not only do I stack up the presents and say "This one will be from me and that one will be from him" but I'm also adhering to the strict "Two types of wrapping paper" rule. Yes, one paper from me and one from Santa. Why? You know why. THE ILLUSION!

I get home and for some reason my mom is not as interested in the whole two different wrapping paper theory that I have. She just doesnt think its as big of a deal as I do. She also is giving all the presents they bought as being from Santa - I told her he's going to think that they didnt want to give him anything. I never understood why Santa's gift tags had my mom's writing or that the paper was the same - its about putting thought into it. This is stuff that I (and I'm sure my brother) noticed growing up, if I'm going to lie to my child, I'm going to do it right!

This is hurting my head - being deceitful takes up too much time and effort.

Old Sox, New Yank

There is something causing a bit of a stir between Bean Town and the Big Apple - the free agency signing of Johnny Damon from the Red Sox to the Yankees. I am a big baseball fan, I love the Dodgers and have a soft spot for the Yanks because my dad is such a huge fan (I will however, cheer for the opposing team during the playoffs to egg him on). So, not only is this a big deal in terms of a star player leaving one team for its biggest rival, it is an even bigger deal that Johnny Damon had to adhere to Steinbrenner's strict "clean-cut" policy. If you are not familiar with Damon, here is a before and after shot.

BEFORE
***For 52 million dollars, I'd get a complete Steinbrenner makeover too.
AFTER

Friday, December 23, 2005

Celebrity Sighting

Saw Andrea Parker at Mel’s Diner while our little department (5 people) went there for a holiday get together. I was the only one who recognized her. I loved that show she was on, Less Than Perfect. Patrick Warburton was great in it, kept calling his assistant Kip, "Secretary" instead of Kip.

My Name is Melissa and I'm a Procrastinator

2 more days till xmas...and I aint done shopping!

This little truth about me always comes to haunt me around holidays and birthdays. This year I’ve cut down on the list of people who are getting presents (I have a system) and for the most part I have most people taken care of. Of course, I forgot to put some people on the list that my son has to “buy” presents for. This part of Parenthood 101 they forget to go over. I may not need to buy anything for the ex, but my son sure as hell has to buy something for his dad. This kid needs to get a job quick.

Since these were mainly presents from my son, I decided to call him and ask him what he wanted to give his grandmother, his grandfather and his dad for Christmas. I told him what I had picked out for grandma and grandpa and he was happy with those, but for dad...he wanted to get daddy an action figure. An action figure? Yup, an action figure. I know my kid well enough to know that he will give the action figure to his dad and know that his dad will say "here you have it" and bam, he gets an extra present.

So last night I went to Target to finish off the shopping, let me rephrase - HOPE to finish off the shopping. Target is a funny place - last night, it was hell...H E L L. Not only do I hate to shop but people were downright pissyshit there. There were times where it felt like I was walking through the areas in slow motion, watching it all like a movie. People screaming at each other for cutting in line, clothes being thrown all over the place, dogs barking (its West Hollywood), and people fighting over a candle. I heart Christmas.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

All For The Carver

This was the plan – it was simple, I was going to go pick up a TV from Joel for my new place (oh ya I moved, didn’t I tell you guys that? Yeah, I rented a room in the Miracle Mile area, more on that later) set it all up, wrap Christmas presents and watch Nip/Tuck season finale. That was the plan.

In Melissa’s world, the plan never EVER works out.

Here is my day and I will try to keep timelines in because makes the blog more interesting I think.

6:15am – get woken up by grunts coming from the living room. Roomie is a personal trainer and trains people in the home. Worked out rather well since I needed to be off the street by 8am for the street cleaning.
7:55am – Leave for work – since its early, I opt to stop and pick up some stuff for wrapping and the room at the 99cent store and Target. Something I made a note to get was AAA batteries for my MP3 player (important).
9:10am – I get to work
10:00am - Interview
11:00am – Interview
12:00pm – Interview
12:30pm – Cover Receptionist for lunch
1:00pm – Interview
2:00pm – Interview
2:30pm – Walk to McD’s for some cheeseburgers and hope to see cute Britboy back in town.
3:00pm – 4:30pm Actually sit at my desk and do work
5:00pm – Fire someone
5:45pm – Staked out the parking structure so previous employee doesn’t come back.
6:30pm – Leave work
7:15pm – Arrive at Joel’s to pick up tv bigger than my child to take to my new place
7:30pm – Get phone call from mom asking why I haven’t called her all day (meanwhile I’m trying to control the huge tv in the front seat of my car from crushing me to death while I’m driving a STICK shift car AND talking on the cell phone)
7:42pm – Finally get mom off the phone after I pleaded for my life.
8:05pm – Arrive at the new digs, take some stuff up and ask new roomie to help me with the tv, he cant – bad back.
8:12pm – Pounce on unsuspecting male coming out of a car to help me with my tv, he knows roomie and is really cute.
8:15pm – TV delivered – cute guy calls me babe, I’m loving this neighborhood already.
8:17pm – Miraculously I find a parking spot on my street
8:20pm – Get to my room and plug in the tv – doesn’t work. Try again, nothing. Called Joel and he says that he always used a remote and it worked fine.
8:23pm – Off to Walgreens to find a universal remote for the tv
8:28pm – Arrive at Walgreens – damn Walgreens has a lot of good stuff.
8:32pm – Receive call from friend back east who only drunk dials me, I think its funny we chat for about 15 minutes.
8:41pm – Contemplated buying AAA batteries for the remote, remembered I bought batteries earlier today
8:50pm – Arrive home with new stuff, realized batteries I bought earlier today were AA not AAA’s.
8:50pm – Headed back to Walgreens
8:56pm – Arrive at Walgreens, buy batteries
9:01pm – Made it back home, bought AA batteries AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
9:01pm – Back to Walgreens, called Hope to tell her I’m an idiot
9:06pm – Arrive at Walgreens, bee line to the battery section, ask the clerk to verify that these are indeed AAA batteries (no lie, ask Hope, she was still on the phone)
9:14pm – Back home – load batteries (victory #1), read instructions to program remote, step #1 – Manually turn on TV (I’m fucked)
9:15pm – Started to think that this was not my day.
9:32pm – Called my dad for some daddy advice
9:47pm – Dad told me I was screwed
9:57pm – Accepted defeat, loaded the AAA batteries on my MP3 player and started wrapping presents
10:00pm – Nip/Tuck started, I wonder who The Carver is – still rockin out to my MP3
11:15pm – Decided to hit the hay, its been a long day.
11:21pm – Receive a text message from my cousin that my cousin Michelle’s water broke, dude, due date is a month away.
11:22pm – Called Jonathan to ask how she’s doing, he thinks she’s fine, he and my aunt are in LA and Michelle is ALONE in Yuma, drove herself to the hospital
11:23pm – Called mom to tell her
11:51pm – Get another text message from Jonathan that Michelle is in labor and at 2cm “whatever that means”
11:51pm – Immediately called Jonathan to tell him about childbirth
11:55pm – Off the phone with Jonathan, called mom with update
11:57pm – Called Oscar to update him and since he was going to be watching Nip/Tuck, he can tell me what happened.
11:58pm – Oscar didn’t watch because he kids are sick, ended up talking to my other wonderful sister-in-law for about 20 minutes.
12:31am – Finally went to sleep
6:23am – New baby arrives, shares birthday with Maya
7:12am – Got up and prayed today wont be like yesterday.


Here is a recap to what happened on Nip/Tuck – let me say that pictures of this leaked out sometime yesterday and people were hoping that FX didn’t let the cat out of the bag hours before the big finale. What dummies, seriously.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Who knew?

Who knew that a walk to McD’s yesterday morning would provide enough entertainment for a today’s blog posting. In a perfect world I would have run back to my computer and posted my little adventure but damn my employer and the fact that I've been working my ass off prevented that from happening. I can't believe they expect me to work and not slack off...I knew I should have stayed working for the government, oh well.

Anyways, on to the races...

I get into work and I was jonesing for a Sausage McMuffin with Egg - seriously I dont know why but I just wanted one so badly, I have been craving McD's lately, maybe its because I've really cut down on the fast food - I just find it funny. Anyways, as I'm walking down the street this guy is walking his dog towards me and as he gets close to me the guy crosses the street to avoid me. Ok, so do I have some sort of invisible freak flag flying over me? It struck me as odd oh well, c'est la vie. Onward ho to McDonald's.

I get there and there is this guy standing off to the side - he tells me he's already ordered and to go up..uh, ok thanks man. After I order, I go stand next to him and he's telling this guy (tourist) that he has to stand on this star to get service. I can tell this is going to be fun. So the tourist (might I add a few details - British, one of the most handsomest men I have ever seen in my life) stands on the star and is starting to guess that this man is fucking with him - a big clue was the fact that I was cracking up. So I introduce myself to the funny man and he says his name is Bernard. I ask what he does and he dresses up as Spongebob Squarepants and walks out in front of Hollywood and Highland along with other characters. Maybe it was the smell of hashbrowns in the morning but I found it to be very funny and cool. So Bernard gets his food and goes to sit down. Guess who comes and stands by me? Fine ass Brit boy. Since I was all miss social chatty Cathy I start asking him questions - where he's from? Why he's here? Does he want a personal tour of California...the usual. We had a nice little chat until the called my number - damn food tends to pull rank over everything so I grabbed my food and started to head back to work. Bye bye BritBoy.

As I walked back, I kept thinking about how we take things for granted - by we I mean Angelinos who walk through movie sets, see celebrities buying coffee and not really think much of it. When I turned the last corner to return to my building - I see Elvis and Marilyn Monroe walking a poodle and a cocker spaniel named Buttercup.

On another highlight of the day:
Scott threatened to ban me from his blog because I don’t like Coldplay. Geez.

Blog mention of the week. Thanks to Shannon for this one. Hope you feel better girl!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Holiday Shnizzle at the Bowling Alley

Bowling, vodka with cranberry juice, and the coworkers - Good times, good times...

We had our Holiday party (thats for G) last night at Jillian's on Citywalk. So much fun, I had the great honor of coordinating the whole thing in like 3 days. Everyone had a good time - the best part was that some of our psychics showed up - LOVE IT! One of the ladies was chatting with a group and she started saying about a reading she had done for someone (question, is it ethical for a psychic to be talking about a reading she did? Is there like doctor/patient priviledge? Just wondering) and I walked up and joined the conversation while validating everyone's parking (since I was playing the hostess with the mostess that night). She made a comment about what was wrong with the person she was talking to - then I say - "Well whats wrong with me?" and she said, without missing a beat, "You are too nice." Fan-fucking-tastic.

Thats it - my whole world in a nutshell from a psychic at a holiday party.

Needless to say, I stayed away from the psychics (all of them) the rest of the night. I was tipsy and couldn't handle any more revelations - true or false.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Lack of Posts

Dear Vicks,

I'd like to thank you for your revolutionary products of NyQuil and DayQuil. They are quite helpful in my fight against this wicked cold/flu crap I have. Once again, I'm indebted.

Yours truly,
The Sicky

P/S Theraflu does nothing.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I ain't one to gossip, but....

There has been so much juice out there, I have to jump on the gossip bandwagon, so here are a few "I cant wait to tell..." stories.

Apparently I'm not the only one that loves me some Avery.
Sean Avery that is.
He's a center for the LA Kings and "allegedly" is fraternizing with Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame. They were spotted in Toronto - hand in hand!

I guess Elisha is also a huge hockey fan because she has her very own hockey blog over at NHL.com. Who knew?

At least this way he's cleaning up his image since his little rant about French-Canadian players being wussies, well change the W and replace with a P.

(source)

Things arent so sunny in the land of Spederline. "Apparently" she had his car repossed and returned to the lot. I'm sorry but that boy is a freaking BUM why she married him, I'll never know. But DAMN! So the rumor is that Mama Spears has moved in to help with the new baby and has pushed the Kevster out. THANK GOD!

(source)

I have been holding my tongue on the whole Jolie/Pitt/Aniston thing, but Brad has (in my opinion) crossed the line decency line by attempting to adopt Angelina's kids. You were unhappy in your marriage and wanted something else - fine, thats why you got the divorce.
But going out and adopting the children of the woman who (allegedly) broke up your marriage is bad form. I know that you want to move on with your life, but out of respect for Jennifer, you should have waiting. I was on Team Jolie, I'm now on Team Aniston.

Where's my shirt?
(source)

BREAKING NEWS!!!

I just spent 20 minutes watching a drug bust at the crack/whore motel across the street from my work.

I love Hollywood.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

READER PROFILE: Jessica

Its been a while since I've done one of these but I guess its best to wait until you get a good one. So the good one for today is JESSICA!!! She's the very same Jessica from The Cheeky Monkey link you see in my Blogs I Read section and likes to make smart ass comments in the comment section.


So I've been waiting and waiting for a picture from Jessica and I finally get this (and by finally I mean over the weekend and this is the first time I can dedicate to getting it up).

Its cute! Except it doesn't show the flirting she's so good at.



So away we go with the Q&A

Begun at 12:10 am GST on 17 November, 2005. I told you I've been waiting for the picture for a long time.
1. Where do you live?
Bournemouth, England, United Kingdom. You know that collection of countries whose square mileage is smaller than that of Oregon and where everyone thinks a 2 hour commute is longer than the stone-age? The one with the Queen right?
2. What do you do?
I am a post-grad student in Events Management at Bournemouth University. The only American in my program, but not the only outspoken obnoxious person. Thank God! One of the other students told me the other day that I sound like the people on TV in Hollywood. No joke. Thats awesome - just so you know, you are going for a degree I could only dream of.
3. Why do you read my blog?
Mostly to pass the time between reading 500 books, writing in MY blog, and holding the hands of 19 other post-grad students. You know you crack me up. You only ask that question so people will boost your ego for crying out loud! HELLO - Its my blog and for the record I ask this of everyone, quit bitching you answered the question.
4. What is your favorite story?
It would have to be the one about that kid that woke up the hulk who then chased him up some giant bean-stalk thingy only to find repunzel at the top with a butch hair-cut and making out with Cinderella. I know I'm deranged at times. I also know you were talking about you, AGAIN.Let's see. I've only been reading this thing since July maybe....I'm going to have to say the standard cop-out - I like them all. No really. They've all made me laugh in some way or another and that's all that really matters. I refuse to alienate just one and make all of the others feel inferior. I just can't do it. It seems so cruel....Yet another shameless plug that she saw through...
5. How much do you Ridgecrest and China Lake?
This was an incomplete question when it was sent to me. Did you want to know if I missed the Ridge or China Lake? Or do I loathe them? Or how much do I want to invite them over for tea and bicuits?I don't miss R/C or CL, but I do miss the people that I met while working there (yes, even you). I miss my mom, grandma, and my cat -my big fluffy-wuffy, pink-nosed, little... er, sorry. Anyway, I don't hate R/C or CL, it just sucked to be single there because, well frankly, it just sucked.Places like R/C make you realize why people adopted rocks as pets in the 70s....Sorry, it was incomplete - and you did guess correctly. I hear ya woman.
6. Doesnt it suck that we didnt start hanging out until we had both decided to get the hell out of there?
Yes it does suck and I am quite traumitized by it actually. My therapist says that my only hope for the pain is to buy shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. Pointy toed shoes I suppose...its quite a good prescription.
7. Details about the cute Brit boys you are meeting - remember this blog has no rating -woohoo first amendment!
There have been two previous Brit boys before I even moved here. One is an idiot who I finally kicked to the curb (where he belongs) last month and the other is a Brit-Italian hybrid who still calls me weekly to make me feel gooood ;). Hey, blame Melissa for wanting details, ok?Since arriving in the UK: Brit boy #1: nice, but too old for me. Liked football and me a lot, but the feeling wasn't mutual. Brit boy #2: hotter than Hedes and built like a Roman God (jawline included) but a little on the duh side. He is a pilot for British Airways (scary, I know) that i pulled (picked-up) at a bar one night and went on 3 dates with. Then he kissed me and I knew that there would never be a destination wedding, 2 gorgeous kids, and retirement together in Fiji. Hoover anyone? Brit boy #3: sexy professional sailor that you can read about how I met in my blog. The third date ended with him pulling an asshole maneuver. Seeing a 3rd date pattern here? Destiny my ass!(Mel-please hyperlink my blog entry- too much info to explain again. Thanks!) Italian boy #1: works at Starbucks, which I frequent almost everyday (my little slice of America). He started talking to me last week, or did I start talking to him? Ah well, he asked me to go out dancing with him and some of his friends last weekend and it turned out to only be him (they apparently all pooped-out). He's handsome and totally sweet, but I'm not really physically attracted to him. If you saw the way he danced the other night, you would completely understand. Also, I thought for a moment that he might be bisexual (he's not). He's hilarious, so I know that he'll at least be a fun friend....plus helping him with his english is quite entertaining. I get tired just reading about your men.
8. Yeah yeah - I finally put a link to your blog on mine. Happy now?
Yes. I FINALLY feel worthy. I can die happy now, well, as long as I'm also buried with all of my diamonds. I'm glad I can give closure to one person in my life.
9. Share a secret...
...but then it won't be a secret. Here it goes....I have eyebrow-plucking OCD. Not sure if there is a technical psychological term for it yet, but I'm sure its bound to be covered by Medicare when I no longer have eyebrows that need it. I border on that at times, but stop myself short of getting rid of them because I dont want to look like one of those women that take a pencil and stencil themselves the weirdest looking eyebrows on earth. BTW its called Trichotillomania, I looked it up.
10. JESSICA's question or questions....
Most commonly asked question of me: Are you Canadian? No, god-dammit, I'm not! Eh?
My turn now: Mel, have you and the dirty green knight slept together yet? No - I dont even know his real name. Not like that has stopped me before! My brother just cringed.
Do you think all of those boys would have really gathered for a picture with me before I left? Yes, being the pushy gals that we are and their need for attention - definitely.
Doesn't seeing those men pee in the street kind of get you a little excited? NO Be honest!! Ok...I find it funny (weird funny not ha ha funny) that people lay in doorways and say "Ok, I'm home" and part of that is turning around and urinating on their kitchen counter. When I walk by alleys and smell the stench, I wonder if it was from a homeless person or from someone who just couldnt wait to find a restroom. Then I get pissed at the person who couldnt wait and that they pissed in someone's possible home. Yes, I know I need help.
Have you found anything unrecognizable, questionable or blatantly sexual of your roomate's yet? Yes
What was it? ( I walked into Rob's room the other day and could have sworn it smelled like sex. Dirty, raunchy, all-night-long sex.Then I remembered who my flatmate is and thought "naaaa".) I can actually picture you doing that! I found his porn stash, which quite frankly wouldnt be an issue since I consider him one of my closest friends and we have had very candid conversations HOWEVER he does have a big screen in the living room and I did sleep on his couch...things started to click - sooooo I bought a new bed.
When are you and the Jakeman going to come to the land of crooked teeth and pub-crawls to see me? First I need to take care of somethings like finding an apartment, then I'll start saving for a trip. If I take the Jakeman we need to find a babysitter for the pub-crawl, I'm stating now that I refuse to leave him with Rob.
Phew, I'm spent....Finished 1:37 am GST 17 November, 2005.

Is this what busy feels like?

Because damn I havent had time to sit down and write in my lovely blog for a bit! Lets do a rundown of my latest activities...

Friday - drove to the desert to pick up the parentals and child for my cousin's baby shower. On the way there, I got very frustrated with traffic that I ended up in Porter Ranch of all places.

Here I made a visual so you can laugh at me appropriately.


Dont even ask me how I ended up out there...lets just say I was trying to circumvent all the freaking LA traffic and I TRIED to take side streets. When I called my dad for guidance, all he did was laugh at me. Thanks daddy...thanks.


The rest of the weekend was filled with family stuff, which was great. Always have a good time with the fam. My car is being worked on. I was supposed to get it back but some new things that were found, I hope to get it back tonight. Ho hum.

Since I was supposed to go get my car last night and couldnt I went home and the roomie and I spent some quality time watching a dvd called "The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog". I love Triumph, he is so funny. So many sketches had me doubled over but only one made me cry from laughing so hard - I found it for you.

A little background on the bit that you see on the DVD but not on this video: Triumph is sent to Hawaii to cover the American Idol auditions and is thrown out. He goes to the local NBC affiliate to tell them about the injustice of it all and they have him do the weather on a news broadcast! ENJOY!

Friday, December 02, 2005

VINDICATED!!!

That is how I felt most of yesterday and it has carried over into today. Why you may ask?

Remember how I posted that I'm recruiting for a blogmaster for a new website we are launching? Well I got some responses and I was really pushing for one person while someone else was making suggestions of bloggers to contact. Well we have two people coming in two weeks from now to interview for the position (my #1 and their #1). I have been saying that mine is great and just pulling for her because talking to her on the phone and reading her blog, I think she would be perfect. Not to take away from the other person, but I just think my gal would be best.

I get into work yesterday morning and one of the owners sends everyone involved in the hiring a link to an LA Times article on blogging. I dont have time to read it since I'm still reviewing emails - then I come to a second email from the big man saying that the gal on the cover is MY NUMBER ONE PICK! He even brought in a hard copy of the article with the picture of the blogger on the cover.

Sweet Sweet Victory.

Yes, that may be a bit premature but it felt good that I was on the right track AND that my taste in bloggers is a good one.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Update: Mr. Happy Crack

Many of you may recall my little email exchange with the agent/bodyguard of Mr. Happy Crack and how I was promised a tshirt for my little advertisement of their ad campaign. Sydney came through my friends - today, I received a box in the mail from the Happy Crack team. I happen to call home to find out how things were and my mom told me about the box. Jacob, of course was all over the box. So I told him to go ahead and open the box for me and tell me what was in it. Here is the conversation or more like what I heard on the phone.

Jacob: Ok mom, I'm opening the package. (I like how this becomes like he's disarming a bomb)
Me: Ok, tell me whats in the box...I'm really excited you get to open it.
Jacob: Me too...ok OH MY GOD!!! There is some underwear in here...
Me: Underwear?
Jacob: Yes, like pajamas
Me: Great! (I still have no idea)
Jacob: Oh Yeah! There is a tshirt in here too!!! And another box! I have to open the other box!
Me: Uh, ok. (I can hear my mom in the background reading the shirt and saying Mr. Happy Crack)
Jacob: Its uh, something - like a toy.
Me: What kind of toy?
Jacob: I dont know, like a toy. Mr Happy Crack! Mr. Happy Crack (no kidding he starts singing some theme song for Mr. Happy Crack that he just made up)

Upon further investigation I figured that these are the things I received.


I get them tomorrow night when I see the family.

Action Packed Post!

Hopefully this post will make up for the weak ass postings that have been put up by yours truly lately.

BLOG OF THE WEEK - The Hollywood Machine
Ahhh yes, yet another blog that I have to add to my daily checks. THM is so funny and the adventures of the British Balcony Lover are to die for. LOVE IT!

LOST (spoilers ahead)
6 weeks! 6 WEEKS!?!? We have to wait 6 weeks to find out what happens to our favorite band of islanders? So Kate killed her stepdad because she found out he was her real dad and he was abusive towards her mother - then her mother turned her in. Damn I'd have trust issues too. Fuck.

So the roomie and I are glued to the tv and when Kate takes Sawyer outside and sees the horse, the damn TIVO switches to South Park - so we didnt get to see what happens in the end. We jump online and find out about Sayid being on TV while Kate is in the recruting office. See:


So we missed the whole watching of the film (although from reading stuff online we really didnt miss much in that dept) but we missed the whole IM thing with Michael and WALT?!?!?! Holy Crap.

South Park

Yet another gem from Trey and Matt. Free Willzyx is about how the boys go to the Sea Park in Denver and the whale starts talking to Kyle and telling him how he needs to be freed and wants to return to the moon to be with his family. Little do they know that the whale's voice is being provided by one of the announcers of the whale show and that they do this often to little kids. In true SP fashion, Kyle grabs his friends and they all get in on the action to help the killer whale return home and the hilarity ensues.

BTW - here is a recap of that "Trapped in the Closet" episode with the Scientologists and Tom Cruise.

The Colbert Report

This show has really grown on me and if you had seen it two nights ago (we watched it last night on TIVO) HOLY CRAP it was hysterical. With the avian flu running rampant, he asks the age old question - Was it really that bad: Black Death. I didnt get a chance to see all of the video online because I have to - whats the word...WORK. But if they have the interview with the author - its all worth it.