Porn, Bush, and Brochitis - not necessarily in that order

Happy Monday All!

Damn it feels like its been a long weekend and it hasnt been. I went home to visit the fam and opted to go get checked out by my doctor to see if I can take anything for this allergies that I've been having...apparently nothing because I have viral brochitis - yes, I was shocked as you are. Apparently brochitis along with a sinus infection has made me feel like I have been for the past month. Woe is me. Oh well. But the funny part of all this is that the doctor prescribed me an inhaler...AN INHALER! For all the respitory crap I went through as a kid, I've never had to use an inhaler until now...let me say that if you've never used an inhaler it is quite the interesting experience. I keep getting medicine on my tongue and I dont know if I'm doing it right. Last night I opted to take even deeper breaths and after I squirted the medicine in, I swear I was going to pass out. I ended up waking up at about 3am for 2 hrs - just lying there. Damn that medicine...I think I'm going to hold off on using it unless I need to - oh I dont know, BREATHE! It really screwed me up.

"A Day Without Whores" vs. "Big Butt Road Trip"
Apparently that was the big match up at the 23rd Annual Adult Video Awards in Vegas over the weekend. How would you award the Best Screenplay prize for a porn? I'm kind of curious about that...
Option 1 - Oh baby, come over here...
Option 2 - Bitch get your ass over here!

Ahh - The Bush Strikes Again
Amazingly enough this doesnt have anything to do with the porn thing. I've checked this website out here and there and finally opted to share in case you havent seen it. Slate Magazine has a section dedicated to Bushisms. Oh yeah baby...even more pearls of wisdom from our fearless leader.

Here are a few of my faves...
"I mean, I read the newspaper. I mean, I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, I'll move on. But I know what the story's about." —Philadelphia, Dec. 12, 2005 Sure I read the book - well I saw the movie, ok someone told me what the movie was about....

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."—Tucson, Ariz., Nov. 28, 2005 Thanks for that lesson.

"I think it's important to bring somebody from outside the system, the judicial system, somebody that hasn't been on the bench and, therefore, there's not a lot of opinions for people to look at." —On the nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, Washington, D.C., October 4, 2005 Lets hire someone with no resume and with no experience!

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005 PROPAGANDA!

"If they pre-decease or die early, there's an asset base to be able to pass on to a loved one."—On Social Security money stored in private accounts, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, March 30, 2005 Is pre-deceased even a word and did anyone else get the heebie geebies from this?

"In this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis; you don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, 'How do you think my standing will be?' "—Washington, D.C., March 16, 2005 "But...but...President Adams told me it was ok to attack Iraq!"

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Sept. 6, 2004, Poplar Bluff, Mo. No comment.

"After all, Europe is America's closest ally."—Mainz, Germany, Feb. 23, 2005 I actually have a story that ties in well to this quote and unfortunately only like 3 people know it, so now I'm going to share with my blogging audience. I had a business law class and we had to research some topics and do some group presentations. The group with the class kiss ass in it had the European Union and she began describing the European Union - then the teacher asked - who does the European Union report to and she said (no lie) The Queen of Europe. I tried so hard to cover up the laughter and I had to literally put my head down and suppress the laughing. I was doing the whole heaving chest thing and tears - TEARS comind down my face. The teacher corrected the kiss ass (who was like 50 yrs old). I still laugh when I think of it. So for the rest of the semester my study group and I referred to her as the Queen of Europe.