Thursday, March 17, 2005

Not much - but I got a joke!

Really not much for today - went to the gym last night. Did pretty well and this guy kept looking at me. Always find it funny when people try to flirt (not sure if thats what he was doing but I'm running with it) and it comes off as a bit flat. Anyways - just an observation.

I got this joke in my email this morning - its so wrong, yet so funny. ENJOY!

THE MONKEY

Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off the pool table---whole!" 'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,"he eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender!" Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can't believe you posted the Monkey joke...that's gross!

Melissa is... said...

Thats why I said - its so wrong, but its funny.

Anonymous said...

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his woohoo (thats my super hip way of saying phallus) shocked the bar tender yells at the pirate "hey dont you know that you have a steering wheel on your woohoo?!?!" and the pirate said "ARRRR ITS DRIVIN ME NUTS!!!!!!"

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!