Thursday, November 03, 2005

Time to Reminisce

Every year, usually around your birthday or the holidays, you look back to see how things have changed. I’ve just started to look back and see how much my life has changed in the past 16 months. I was in a relatively happy marriage (relatively because things could always improve and nothing is ever perfect) living in a small town that kept me content but I was never happy in. Now I’m a divorced single mom living back in LA. I remember my brother making a comment on his blog a while back about how truly the decision to change your life really does rest in your own hands. You can chose to hide behind excuses but those are excuses not to do what you really want to do, out of fear, retribution – whatever. Ok, that last part was either his or mine, it’s a little blurry. But its true, in a snap of your fingers, you can choose to have a life you want or settle for something else. And living in the desert, I felt like I was settling for a life that wasn’t mine.

A lot of people would make remarks like “Why would you want to sit in traffic for hours on end?” when I first started talking about moving back to LA. Honestly, I don’t mind the traffic, just gotta know how to work it. I can get to and from work in about 25 minutes. Takes me 10 minutes by streets to get to the freeway, jump on the freeway for about 10 minutes because there is no straight road into Hollywood except maybe Highland but that can get just as jammed up, and then another 5 minutes from the freeway to work. In the morning I have Kevin and Bean and in the evenings I have Tom Leykis. Maybe it’s the fact that I grew up in LA and makes all this acceptable for me, I don’t know. But sometimes, there are things that just make it worth it.

Like this morning, as I was walking back from getting my coffee at Starbucks, I passed by some trucks that were setting up to film a tv show or a movie – its such a different world than what I’ve gotten used to but the funny thing is that I’ve never felt more at home. When I walk out of Starbucks I see the stars on the ground, like that of Walt Disney, walk by the Erotica Museum (which I still have to check out one day out of sheer curiosity), and dodge traffic as I run across Hollywood Blvd, and it feels so surreal yet homey. I always sort of felt out of place in the desert – felt like I was missing out on something and now just walking through some filming I feel like I’ve regained it – is that odd?

4 comments:

Jessica said...

Hey chica! The Erotic museum wasn't all that I expected it would be unless you like to watch a porn with a girl that looks an awful lot like Marylin Monroe, or is it Billy Jean? Ooooorrrrr, if you like (whisper) d-i-l-d-o-s, than you may like the collection of crazy contraptions upstairs. Yes I said contraptions....

Basically it felt like a strewn together collection of odds and ends without any real eroticism to it. I didn't feel as hot and bothered as I'd hoped.

mr_g said...

I hope she didn't mean Billie Jean King....uuuugh.

I'm just glad to see that they're filming in Hollywood. A few years ago, that place was such a pit it almost made Panorama City look good. (I can say that, I've lived there.) In fact, I always though the best way to deter runaways was to post pictures of what Hollywood actually looked like in bus stations around the country. But it looks like it's coming back! Though I guess I'll always think of it as a great place to pick up a trans-gender prostitute!

Jessica said...

of course I meant Norma Jean, but its not as fun....when I said Billy Jean, I was thinking more Lengend Of....BJ King? Ick.

mr_g said...

...and not to imply that I've ever done an Eddie Murphy (picked up a transgender prostitute)...I haven't! A straight call girl or two, absolutely (WAAAAY before marriage and self esteem)...and I've even posted about one of those! But definitely no Santa Monica BLVD freakiness for G...though I'm glad it's there for those who want it:)