Shades of Geek

While some friends and I were heading out of the office this afternoon, my friend Wendy was raving about a new application that was created by one of the tech guys. Wendy freely admits that she's a geek, she loves her comic books and everything. Needless to say, I've learned not to argue with her about certain things.

Anyways, I don't know how it got brought up but I made a comment about how the cast of Battlestar Galactica did the Top Ten List on Letterman the night before and I clapped a little when I saw the promo for it. I'm open about my love for BSG openly and freely, its a damn good show and I have no shame.

So, when I said that, Kerry called me a nerd. But Wendy defended my honor and said that I was a geek because the show is fantasy and not sci-fi - which is totally different. If I had that reaction to something involving Star Trek, then yes - I would be a nerd. Yes, we have learned to love these nuances about Wendy. The best part of that whole story, was that someone relatively new to our company, Rodrigo, was in the elevator with us. I bet watching 3 girls define the parameters of the social acceptance of geek vs nerd really made his day.

Anyways, here are the Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Watch This Season of BSG.

For Your Viewing Pleasure..

This is just a bumper until I get an actual blog post up. Damn Henry Cavill is so hot. Makes me drool...and think of dirty things to do to him...and wait - people are reading this..

Sigh.....

So High I Could Touch The Sky

I know this is a bit late, but late is better than never.

I have to preface this blog post and say that Jake gave me the biggest guilt trip about not taking him to the concert. He whipped out all the good lines like "Why don't you want to spend time with me?" and "How can you abandon your son like this?" I told him that I just didn't think it would be a good idea, that he's too young. Especially when my tickets were on the floor and all the pushing and shoving. That last line was a lie by the way, I'm not dumb -I buy actual seats to concerts. But I seriously thought that he was too young to be going to a rock show.

So the night of the concert comes and we get to the Forum. First thing I notice is that there are all these freaking kids there! And I'm not talking about 12 year olds - oh no...I'm talking about 5-6 year olds! On a school night! The guilt set in fast, let me tell you. Then we bought a beer and started our climb to the seats. These seats were very very high, higher than I thought they would be. Damn lure of pre-sale. Next, it was a Foo concert. HELLO?!?!? I few deep inhales and we were pretty damn happy. And soon, I forgot about the children in the crowd.

Ok - the show itself was pretty fucking awesome. What made it better was that Dave Grohl was so funny and very personable. I know that its how they are supposed to be but come on - there have been times when I've gone to a concert and they perfomer only sang for an hour and a half straight and got off stage. I wont go into detail about the set list, but they did play pretty much all the songs I wanted to hear (except for Home from their last album, which I admit is a rather moving little diddy). They ended up closing with Best of You - which has to rank as my all time favorite song of theirs. Its just this song this grips you with the lyrics and then sucks you in with music that before you know it, you are just punching the air with every beat.

And yes, I didnt forget the little lad:



Funny, they way he looks is the way I felt that morning after.

Decisions...Decisions...

I honestly don't know what I'm more excited about for tonight's activities....

The Project Runway finale or The Foo Fighters concert

Hmmmmmmmm

Jef-f Dun-HAM

I think that ventriloquism is underrated. One of my favorite acts is Jeff Dunham and his character, Peanut. My brother will remember how much we would watch him and just laugh our asses off (ok, maybe me more than him because he has this elitist attitude about how he has a better sense of humor than I do). I found this on youtube and couldn't resist posting it. If you like it, I suggest watching parts 2 and 3 - thats when Jose, the Jalapeno on a Stick comes out.

Its Not The Lizard Dance!

A couple of weeks back, Jake and I were driving and he tells me how much he likes a commercial on tv. He's trying to explain it to me and he finally tells me its the one with the lizards dancing - you know "like this" and proceeds to do the moves from Thriller.

Me: "Oh yeah, the Thriller dance"
Him: "Nooo....the lizard dance"
Me: "Its not the lizard dance!!"

This went on for about 2 minutes, when again the harsh reality of parenthood hit. I'm always amazed that I forget that I have to teach my kid things. Yes, I sometimes assume that he's automatically downloaded with pop culture and history knowledge every night when he goes to bed. So when he had this look of "What the hell is Thriller?" I knew something had to be done.

My dear sweet friend (who was as offended at this as I was) let me borrow his Michael Jackson dvd to school the child in Michael Jacksonness...and class was in session last night my friends. As I was making dinner, Jake started watching the video and couldn't believe the mania that followed Michael at the pinnacle of his career.

The videos begin...he loved "Black or White", he didn't quite get "Billie Jean" (which quite frankly I kind of still don't get after all these years), and he looooooved "Remember The Time". I had to downplay the scariness of "Thriller" - you know zombie references can't be good for a 6 year old. So I would tell him, "ok, here comes a scary part" or "zombies can't be THAT scary if they can dance like that - right?!?!" The great thing is that he was watching the dancing and saying "how can this be the lizard dance if they aren't doing this move?" and then the move happens. I kind of got too much of a thrill in seeing his little "lizard dance" bubble burst when I showed him the proof that he was wrong. Yeah, I'm a good mom.

So, defeated, he agreed that he will not refer to it as the lizard dance anymore. We watched all the videos and he also liked BAD and BEAT IT. I was rambling on about what the videos were about and then made a comment about Weird Al and his parodies of the songs.

Low and behold - he now has a new favorite video:

Point: Jimmy Kimmel

A few weeks ago, Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon proclaimed their "status" on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Now, Jimmy decided to get his revenge and steal something of Matt's: Ben Affleck. For as much as I loooooved Sarah's song (the damn song got stuck in my head once that I was actually humming it during new hire orientation) this video has to take the cake. Too many celebrities to name that are in this one, which proves that either A) they have nothing better to do or B) they have great senses of humor. I'm going with A.

Enjoy if you haven't seen it!



P/S You gotta love that Indiana Jones did this...

Movie Reviews Galore!

I have been slacking in posting movie reviews so I'm just going to put all of them up at the same time. You all know how much I love to multi-task.

There Will Be Blood
This is a story of a man named Daniel Plainview who drills for oil and his rise to fortune. I will always remember how proud this man was (and I'm talking the 7 Deadly Sins Pride) and the portrayal of Eli Sunday by Paul Dano (from Little Miss Sunshine). Daniel's pride allowed him to have a drive to create his fortune, but what was the cost? And Eli Sunday, well quite frankly, freaked me out. Daniel Day Lewis deserves the Oscar for Best Actor. I was completely engrossed with his character and while I was sympathetic to his drive for success, I felt offended by the way he treated people around him - especially his son.
Rating: I highly recommend the movie and grab a bag of popcorn.

La Vie En Rose
The movie is the life story of Edith Paif, a famous French singer - and yes, its in French. Marion Cotillard transforms herself from a quiet street singer to a famous songstress to a woman who realizes her life is coming to an end. The story and the acting of Cotillard really suck you into Paif's ups and downs of her life. It amazing that she became who she was because of the life she had as a child. I was impressed by her drive to perform and her need to just sing, because its who she is. And honestly that is what I remember most of her, this image of her being ill and telling her manager to put her up in front of the microphone because she had to sing.
Rating: Awesome biopic - I recommend it highly as well.

La Dolce Vita
Fellini's classic about a journalist at a crossroads of his life and looking for maybe a meaning to it. You know, maybe it was because I saw this move right after I watched La Vie En Rose, but it didn't wow me as much as I thought it would. I was pulled into the story and the sympathized with Mastroianni's roller coaster ride but there was something, just not real. The sweet life that Fellini is a fascade that only exists with certain people. For some reason the one scene that did speak to me was when the paparazzi were waiting for the wife of Mastroianni's friend. It was heartwrenching and is the moment that made him change his way of life, to an extent. I think this is one of those movies that I have to watch again but I've learned that not all classics are classics for everyone.
Rating: Rent it to see it for its brilliance but don't expect it to be brilliant for you.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
This movie is a true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, the editor of Elle, who suffers a stroke and has to live in an almost fully paralyzed body, only his left eye isn't paralyzed. One word: Magnicifent. I just can't convey how wonderful this movie is. Just watch it...seriously...just watch it. I have to admit one thing though - the movie is in French and it has subtitles. And one part of the movie, Bauby learns how to speak by blinking. The speech therapist says letters and when she gets to the letter that he wants, he blinks. Its tedious but he ends up writing the book that the movie is based on. Ok, back to my thing. So I'm listening to her ramble off the alphabet and I'm trying to guess what he's going to say along with her. And she says the letters - M-E-R..then the subtitle is saying T-H-A and I'm wondering why its not right...then I realized that they were translating what its going to be in English. Kind of messed me up for a minute there, thought that I completely forgot how to speak French.
Rating: GO WATCH NOW!

The Cooler
William H. Macy plays this unlucky fellow that works for a casino who uses him to "cool off" tables when people are winning too much money. He then meets a cocktail waitress and his luck changes. The movie was, eh - ok. The movie has its moments and its really a dark film at times. If I wouldnt have seen this movie right after I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly then I probably would have liked it a little bit more. It is entertaining but I'm not running out and buying it for my collection.
Rating: Rental.

Reason Why You Shouldn't Date At Work

One of the joys of my HR job is to administer the sexual harassment trainings for the company. Recently, I logged into one of our resources and found this picture that accompanied an article about Workplace Romances.

Now...what is wrong with this picture? Everytime I see it, I actually giggle a bit. Why? Let me point out some things...

The most blatant observations is...no black man with ANY self respect will allow a white woman to do this. I actually can't believe that the guy in this picture allowed himself to be photographed for this. How much mockery is he getting from his friends over this? I'd use this picture to match up the ring and watch he's wearing to find this guy and smack him upside the head.

Ok - the look on the girl's face is hysterical! It looks like she's trying too hard to be tough and well, is not succeeding.

Doesn't it look like she's going to punch herself in the back of the head? She may need to work on that aim.

I keep thinking that the phrase "Bitch, Please!" needed to be said at some point before this picture was taken. Either she made a comment to him and he said it which made her fly into a rage (so to speak). Or she said it and cocked that fist back, triggering what could be a very embarassing moment in black history.

Ghetto-Fabulous

Driving into work today, I got flipped off by someone ass who felt that he owned lane #2 on the 101. Funny thing is that I went into lane #1 and totally passed him - so there! I felt it was going to be quite the day. I mean, who doesn't want to start their day off with an obscene gesture - right?

A few minutes after settling in at work, my coworker IM's me that they want to get a pool together for the big Mega Millions drawing tomorrow. All I needed was a $1. ONE DOLLAR. And I barely put that together...with change.

How ghetto is that? I'm paying into a lottery pool with 3 quarters, a dime, and 15 pennies.

A Day Of Truthiness

According to AstrologyZone, tomorrow is this day of realization in my (Virgo) life. Read on...

"The month ends on a more serious full moon lunar eclipse, February 20. It will arrive in Virgo, bringing a matter of great importance to culmination. If you were born at the end of August, this eclipse will speak directly to you.

This eclipse is a somber one, because it will fall almost exactly on Saturn - within three and a half degrees. That's close. Saturn makes us become very realistic, for with Saturn there's never room for illusions or fantasy. It's time to see things as they are, and no matter what happens, there won't be room for a lot of negotiation. I am so sorry to have to say this to you, dear Virgo. At eclipse time, February 20, you will see what I mean. "

I read this a few days ago and let me tell you, it kind of freaked me out. I have no idea what to expect from February 20th and I'm kind of hoping the day comes and goes without any big revelations. I've had my fair share of honest, truthful conversations in the past 3 months that I'm done for a while.

So you know what Saturn...I don't need any more realism. I'm good, thanks.

ARETHA!!!!

Valentine's Day actually had a happy tone to it this year for me. I was going to see Aretha Franklin!

Now, this isn't the first time I had seen her in concert, I saw her a couple of years ago at the Greek. But come on now...its ARETHA EFFIN' FRANKLIN!!!

My friend and I head to the Nokia Theater and after a couple of drinks we settle down in our seats and wait...wait for Aretha (effin') Franklin. Last time I went to see her, she seemed to be in major diva mode. This time, we got nice Aretha. She even sang some of her major hits! She sang Respect, Chain of Fools, Ain't No Way, and Bridge Over Troubled Water.

Not only was I singing and dancing in my chair, but we were entertained by the people around us by their singing and dancing. But in my opinion, the best moment happened early in the evening - when Aretha was introduced. She was introduced as the "Empress of Music". At least Beyonce' didnt introduce her...

Videos Of The Week!

This makes me like Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon so much more.



Best Infomercial Ever! I've never wanted to buy anything until I saw this.

The Return of Lost

LOST IS BACK!

LOST IS BACK!

LOST IS BACK!!!!!!!!

Yesterday morning I woke up with a weird sensation...the giddiness of having new television to watch, and LOST nonetheless!

Last night's episode was in a word: AWESOME.

It made me laugh.
It made me cry.
It made me cheer.
It made me freak out a little bit.
And it made me feel like someone drilled a hole in my head and mind fuck me.

Welcome back old friend...welcome back.

For Kerry And Natalie...

This is really only going to make sense to them...so keep reading at your own risk.

Congratulations on your new home! I kept wondering what to get you guys and as I was wondering through the aisles,it appeared to me...the perfect present:

A little bit more about your present...
Name: Bernie
Age: None of your business
Marital Status: Divorced. I was married to Danielle for 7 years but she couldn't handle my dedication to my work. We are still friends.
Astrological Sign: Taurus
Occupation: Garden Gnome but I prefer the title Defender of the Garden
Favorite TV Shows: The Biggest Loser, Law and Order (who doesn't like watching Jack McCoy in action?), Talk Soup, Cheaters, The McLaughlin Group
Favorite Movies: Spaceballs, Edward Scissorhands, Rambo
Favorite Sports: Golf
Hobbies: Playing the saxophone, taking long drives up the coast, playing the ponies.

Laughing At Myself - Once Again...

I laugh at myself a lot. Some people have seen me just lose it at a joke that happened in my head and I just couldn't spit out the punchline. Its gotten to the point with some friends that they just shake their heads at me and say "That's Melissa". Apparently, Jake has gotten used to his mother's tendencies as well.

We were at Target on Monday and Jake had earned himself some Pokemon cards. After picking out the cards and picking up some other things, we headed to the registers to pay for our loot. Since Jake had earned money by doing some chores, I decided to give him some cash so he could pay for the cards himself. Because I usually give him exact change, this was going to be a new experience because I purposely gave him more money so he could figure out what to give the cashier. The cashier tells him the total and I tell Jake to give him $6. Jake looks at me and says, "How much is $6?" and I say "Jake, just count the money." And then I say under my breath, "Its Monet, Count the Monet!" and I just started laughing, hard. Jake did this slow turn and looked at me and then - rolled his eyes! I just couldn't believe it! Don't get me wrong, the fact that my child is as sarcastic as I am is quite entertaining but its one of those things that you don't want to admit that you are the dork in the relationship.

In case you need a refresher in the Count the Money department...


Thank goodness for Mel Brooks.

The Cha Cha Slide

I just saw this commercial while watching the NE/SD game. HILARIOUS!!!

Damn Flu

I don't know how I got the flu but I got it. For the past 3 days, I've pretty much been restricted to the comfort of my bedroom. Its kind of funny how different life is when you are taken out of your routine. On Friday, I took Jake to school in the morning. For once, I was like one of those other mothers who drop their child off in their pajamas and look forward to returning to their homes. It was an odd feeling, let me tell you. Then, getting back home and forcing myself to not do anything was, well, hard. In my head, I had the laundry, the dishes, vacuuming, and general cleaning to do. Did I do it? Nope. Another odd feeling.

Then I started making some observations...
- I noticed that the hours between 2-5pm during the week are probably the slowest moving hours...wow, same at home as at work.
- There are a lot of people in my building that are home during the day. Do they even work?
- Daytime TV is really bad.
- When you sit and wait for emails to show, they don't.
- Laptops and wireless internet are the best things ever.
- The doctor I got to see on Thursday is really, reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllyyyyy cute.
- It seems like "The Godfather" is always on tv and thank goodness for that!

I was scrolling through the "Watch Instantly" section of Netflix, where you can view movies or tv shows online, and I saw season 1 of Dexter available. I have heard so many good things about the show and I had never gotten around to watching it. By golly, procrastination was about be put aside. I managed to watch the whole season and I don't know if I should be proud of this accomplishment or not. The show is sooo incredibly good! Its not as gory as I thought it was going to be (it has a little gore but honestly isnt as bad as some other stuff) and the characters do a good job of capturing your interest in them. Dexter is a blood spatter expert who moonlights as a serial killer. He doesn't kill people indiscriminately though, he only kills people who slip through the system. The show has more heart than I think people give it credit for. With the writer's strike going on, CBS has decided to put this show on. If you are even remotely curious, I suggest you take a chance on it. But to truly bond with Dexter, take the time to watch the show the way it was created, by watching the non-edited episodes.

Ok - time to go back to bed, I'm a bit winded.

Yes Papa Bear Yes...

This morning, I was up before the crack of dawn because of this cough that is aggrevating my patience. I woke up to find the beauty that is The Colbert Report on my Tivo. He has been having a recurring bit called National Treasure: Portrait of Stephen where he is trying to get his portrait into the Smithsonian. The last part aired with last night's episode. I swear, the man can turn my frown upside down! TV hasn't made me laugh so hard in a while.

Enjoy!

Movie Review: No Country For Old Men

My friend let me borrow a few screeners she received so I managed to watch this movie in the comfort of my own home. Let me say - WOW. I had heard a lot of great things and one person with a negative review (cough*Derry*cough) about the movie so I was hoping it was going to live up to my expectations and it totally did.

Stop reading now if you don't want to be spoiled.

Javier Barden is just spectacular as the killer in search of a satchel full of money that Josh Brolin's character takes. This movie reminds me so much of the old Hitchcock films. You could probably line this movie up with something like North by Northwest and find a few character similarities. Hitchcock was famous for putting his lead characters in situations over their heads and all the while trying to save themselves for a sin that they are not necessarily guilty of but it turns out they are guilty of something. Brolin's character stumbles upon a drug meet gone wrong and abandons a man that is dying and finds a satchel of money and takes it home with him. Later that night, he returns to give the man some water (that he had asked for earlier) and not only finds him dead but the owners of the money in search of him. Some others are also looking for the money and have hired Javier Bardem's character to find it as well.

I swear, anytime Bardem entered the screen I wondered what he was going to do next. He was very meticulous and calculating when it came to killing. The scene that got to me was when he was in the gas station talking to the owner. Just standing there, eating his peanuts and making conversation but at the same time sizing him up to see if he should kill him or not. You could tell that the owner had that look on his face, that he knew he was dead and was just trying to process it. And I loved that Brolin's wife threw the "coin" theory out the window and I think that bugged him more than anything. He wanted to believe that the coin chose (like with the owner of the gas station) like a fate, but in the end - it was he who decided who died and who didn't. Maybe he didn't like that he had all that power of life over death and he wanted to put the fault on someone else (you stole the money, you deserve to die; you picked heads, it was tails).

The only thing that I would have liked to see was more Tommy Lee Jones/Javier Bardem interaction. It seemed that it would have been a really good rivalry with TLJ's no nonsense approach and Bardem's no nonsense killing. I was almost waiting for them to meet up but that never does happen. Quite frankly, the way it was left - was a little unsettling and bittersweet but I accept that some movies can't be tied together in a little bow and this is why it left the impression it did with me. But the more I think about it, its almost better that way too.

I highly recommend seeing this movie, so you know why Bardem will win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

Final Rating: Worth Paying Full Price

Meeting Up With The Meetups

This weekend, I was determined to try to fulfill one of my new year's resolutions, #9 to be specific - be more sociable.

So last night, a couple of friends joined me at karaoke in West LA where 5 meetup groups were converging to create quite the evening of socializing and bad singing. Let me say - total fun! Ended up meeting some really nice people and I got to sing in front of strangers. A good night overall.

This morning, I attended another meetup and went on a hike up Eaton Canyon in Pasadena. The hike is about 2 miles each way and your reward is seeing the cute waterfall in the canyon. A couple of the people that were at the karaoke event the night before, were also at the hike - so it was nice that I didn't know ANYONE there. In addition, I got to know a few of the people during the hike to and from the waterfall. When we got to the waterfall, one of the guys that I had been talking to kept saying that he wanted to jump into the little area at the base of the waterfall. This other guy and I egged him on and each of us offered to buy him two beers (each) if he'd jump in. I'll be damned if the guy actually took off all of his clothes (except the undies of course) and jumped in! He was followed by a couple of the other hikers who jumped in fully clothed. On the hike back, he made a comment about how everyone was shocked that he took off his clothes to jump in. I laughed because yes, it would be the most logical thing to do so you arent soaked on the walk back but, stripping down in front of strangers is what people were more shocked about. Ahh the memories.

And since I know you are thinking it - yes, I almost fell in...twice while jumping on the rocks in the river bed. I actually have a little scrape on my hand to prove it!

Well, Thats Always Going To Linger

A few months ago - I saw a video that was going through the net called 2 Girls 1 Cup. It was the curiosity that did me in. Needless to say, it was disgusting and it took me a while to wipe it from my memory.

Now, there is another video being promoted as sort of a sequel to that called 4 Girls Fingerpaint. Yes - its what you think it is. But...BUT its soooo much more than that. I'm not super quesy but holy crap - this has to be one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. I actually gagged - more than twice!

This was one of those things that I wanted to know what people were talking about and I had to see it even though I knew much of what was going to happen. But it brought up something interesting....at what point do you stop quenching your curiousity? Is there anything you wouldn't do? Where would you draw the line?

I saw my line...ew, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit just thinking about it.

Retirement Might Be A Bitch

This video ran at CES 2008 documenting Bill Gates's last day as CEO of Microsoft. Somehow, I like him even more after this.

New Year's Resolutions, the 2008 edition

I figured the best way to set up my goals for this year is to review what I have accomplished from the past. I looked back through the blog and I guess I haven't really made any resolutions since 2006. Go figure. Funny thing is that I'm still working on some of those!

Ok - quick recap:
Get a laptop - done
Take Tango lessons - done
Get my passport
Refresh my French - I actually worked on this!
Volunteer with Habitat with Humanity
Read at least one book a month - ongoing
Learn how to shoot a gun

Here is my 2008:
1) Learn how to shoot a gun - I don't know why this is number one but it is. Its not that I'm looking forward to joining the NRA or anything but I've always wanted to at least learn how to do it. I've already done my research and know where to go. Maybe this will help me with the shooting games on the Wii so Jake will stop kicking my ass.
2) Be a better cook - now, I'm not shabby but I realize that sometimes I make the same things a lot. Which is fine but I want to expand on my culinary talent. A while back, I bought a friend a cookbook called The Silver Spoon which is considered the Italian Bible of cookbooks. I was recently talking to him and he was telling me how every single recipe is a great treat to make and eat. Damn, back to Boarders.
3) Go to Italy - I've been wanting to go forever and dammit I'm going to go!
4) Get my passport - see #3
5) Refresh my Italian - see #3, back to Boarders!
6) Volunteer more - its good for the soul and I miss doing it.
7) Upgrade my look - tone up and get a mini-makeover. I'm kind of excited about doing this, except for the whole shopping thing. I should hire someone to do it for me. Whats funny is that I had mentioned this my friend last month and she was really excited about getting me to go on a shopping spree. And I mean so excited that I was kind of insulted. Its like when someone tells you "Wow, you look really nice today!" and you take it like you don't usually look nice.
8) Not be an idiot - easier said than done.
9) Be more sociable - its not that I'm not sociable but I don't like meeting new people. Its a comfortability thing I guess. If I'm introduced to someone by a friend, I feel that they have been screened and half the work is done. For some reason, I find this resolution filled with irony since half of my job is to interview people for my company.
10) Be Timely - I need to "get organized" and do things in a timely way this incorporates so much. I'm a huge procrastinator, its horrible and whats worse is that I'm very aware of it and still don't change it. I also tend to run late (duh, procrastination).

Happy New Year!

To all my friends and family,

I wish you the best for the new year. May it bring you love, happiness, and joy!

Be safe!

Melissa

Who the hell is Sherry Chow?

A few weeks ago, I received an invitation for a wedding. The wedding was for a friend that I've known since elementary school (thats over 20 years!) and his bride was someone that we went to high school with. Problem was - I had no clue who the bride was. I called my friends and they all seemed to remember her. She was in my year (the groom was a year older) and in band, and since I was on the flag team, we spent LOTS of time with the band.

Last night, the wedding arrives and off I go to see the happy couple get joined in holy matrimony. The wedding was on a yacht in the marina in Newport Beach, which was a new experience all in itself. I met up with my friend, Natalie (who totally remembered Sherry) at the marina and we walk up to the yacht to embark on our little voyage. While waiting to board, we started recognizing people. It was turning out to be a little high school reunion! There were about 12 people there from the past. One girl is still the same elitist bitch that she was all those years ago. Ahhh, memories.

Upon boarding the yacht (and I'm using yacht because I don't know if I should call it a ship or a boat), there was a security guard who needed to check our bags for weapons. What cracked me up about it was that he said "I have to check your bag, but only because the Coast Guard is watching. Ok, thats good - oh one more time he's looking again" Yes, I totally felt safe.

Finally get onboard and the champagne starts flowing. I kept telling Natalie not to let me scream 'So that's Sherry Chow!' at anytime during the night because she kept saying, you will totally remember who she is when you see her. We push off the dock and start our little 3 hour tour.

The ceremony begins with the procession of the wedding party. Here it comes - the big unveiling of the mysterious bride. She starts walking out and...I still don't have a clue! She's a beautiful bride and my friend looks extremely happy and proud. The ceremony ends and we are shuffled downstairs for appetizers while they take pictures and get the upstairs ready for dinner. After a bit, the bride and groom come down to mingle and we go up to them to offer our congratulations. Here is the moment that I was looking forward to and fearing at the same time. I was afraid she was going to see that I had no clue who she was. Nat and I go up and say hi and now her voice sounds familiar...but still nothing. Now, I'm standing there like an idiot because I can't remember her.

Dinner begins and they have a Polynesian floor show, which was lots of fun. After that, the bride and groom do their first dance. They dance to swing music and it was a nice change of tradition. For some reason, now is the time that I remember who Sherry is! Luckily I didn't scream out my revelation.

My Ears! My Ears!

Time for a vote people - which one of these is most painful to watch and to hear?

Candidate #1
Premise: A garage band gets their big chance to perform in front of a live audience. They should have practiced a bit more.


Just...just...speechless. I mean - didn't anyone bother to tell them that they suck? Doesn't it look like the lead singer is walking around with his hand in his pocket like he's THAT good he doesn't even have to try. Didn't they audition for goodness sake? Is someone actually paying them? So many questions!

Candidate #2
Premise: A group of Pop Idol losers are asked to be the halftime show at a Futbol/Soccer match. Don't people know not to screw with soccer fans?!?!


The guy in the white shirt has to be my favorite - such enthusiasm! Let's not mention the audience reaction. The waving of the white flags are classic!

I think we all know who I'm voting for.

Christmas Day Movie Marathon

Christmas has come and gone - thank goodness! I think I've started an internal clock as to when to take down the tree. I would have done it today but nooo - I had to watch these movies and eat all...day...long.

So here we go with what was seen.

The Way We Were
Amazingly enough, I had never seen this Redford/Streisand classic about a couple's love story. I knew the story, but had not sat through a viewing of the film. Recently, I saw an episode of Sex and The City where the girls are talking about the movie and it piqued my interest to actually make the effort to watch it. Thank the lords for Netflix and their Watch Instantly program. I liked the movie a lot and I'm short of saying that I loved it.

Stranger Than Fiction
What an entertaining movie this is. Will Farrell plays Harold Crick, an IRS auditor, who starts hearing a voice in his head narrating his actions. The voice, as it turns out, is Emma Thompson who is writing a book about Farrell's character. Things get kicked into high gear when Harold hears the author say that his death is imminent and starts trying to figure out who the author is to try to prevent his doom. The movie is really good and is cute when it comes to the love story between Harold and the baker. I was surprised with the talent on this cast (Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah, and Maggie Gyllenhaal) and the witty writing. Highly recommended.

Notes On A Scandal
First of all, the acting of the two leading ladies in this film is superb. The story moves along rather well and gives enough suspense to make you nervous for the characters of the film. Its amazing how some movies can pick up on the nuances of human behavior. I swear, Dame Judi Dench has really really scared me. And that scene where she's trying to force Cate Blanchett's character to choose between her and Cate's family was just amazing. They both do a good job of conveying their sides of the friendship and you feel sorry for Dench's character but you also know better since you know she's pulling all these puppet strings.

Amazingly enough, I got three good movies in! Now I have to hit the theaters and catch up on some flicks on the big screen.

Things to see:
National Treasure 2 - yes, I know, I heard it sucked but I hate to admit I really liked the first one so I have to see this one.
Juno - Seems like its the Miss Little Sunshine of this year.
Charlie Wilson's War - I'm such a sucker for Aaron Sorkin's writing.
Walk Hard - Its John C. Reilly for goodness sake!
The Savages - looks good, its all I got.
P.S. I Love You - I know it doesn't look good, but I can't help it! I should just read the book instead.

Happy Festivus!

Well Christmas if finally upon us and I'd like to send out a little holiday how-do-you-do to all my friends, family, and strangers who read this blog. Hope Santa brings you all your heart's desire and that you are able to spend time with the ones you love.

Freakin' Holiday Spirit

About an hour ago, my mom and I started hearing major sirens around my neighborhood. It sounded like they were driving all over the place and they just wouldn't stop. At first it was just another one of those things, but after about 10 minutes, I was seriously getting concerned. We looked out to see if there was a fire, there was nothing. But still, the fire trucks seemed to be getting closer and closer.

Finally it sounded like it was down the street. I ventured out because my curiousity knows no bounds and then, it was revealed to me.

The reason for all the noise for the past 30 minutes: SANTA CLAUS.

Yup, Santa Claus was riding on a fire engine waving at children on the various streets of my neighborhood. I'm sure this tradition is played out in cities all over so it shouldn't be that huge of a shock. But, I always feel like I get blindsided by this. Last year, I was at a stop sign a block away from my apartment when the little caravan of police cars and fire engines passed in front of me. The one thing that gets me is that I never know when it happens. Is it the 23rd? Is it the Sunday before? It would obviously make more sense that its the 23rd though.

Anyways, figured I'd share how on this Sunday evening I thought that we were being attacked, when in reality Santa was going for a joy ride.

A Great Saturday Night

1) Wrap Presents
2) Finally cleaning/organizing Jake's room
3) Finish decorating for Christmas
4) Play Super Mario Party 8.
5) Realize that my son likes Usher and has some smooth moves
6) Finally uploaded a video on Youtube!

Yay! Everyone Hates Jessica Simpson!

In case you hadn't heard, Tony Romo from the Dallas Cowboys had the worst game of his career on Sunday. Most, if not all, Dallas fans have chosen to blame Jessica Simpson, Romo's new girlfriend, for the bad performance. Romo's teammate, the illustrious Terrell Owens joined the bandwagon in blaming Simpson - then backing off later in the day saying that he was joking (which he probably was, everyone likes a story).

So - there are 2 games left in the regular season. This Saturday the Cowboys play against Carolina and next week, they play against my beloved Redskins. There is a new website up and running that is helping the anti-Dallas fans: Ruin Romo.

There are a few steps to follow:
1) Buy Tickets to the next Dallas Game.
2) Print out this picture in Full Color.
3) Cut out eyes and head.
4) Paste or tape to a heavy piece of paper or cardboard.
5) Paste popsicle stick to bottom for easy handling.
6) Bring it to the game and let Tony know Jessica is there for him!
7) Celebrate after your team wins!

I can't believe that I actually agree with the people of Dallas on something! On a side note, at last night's Pub Quiz - the winning team's name was "If we lose, we are fucking Jessica Simpson." Obviously, they weren't fucking her because they won.

I wonder how effective it would be if I make one of these signs and wave it around in my apartment on Saturday.

Being An Idiot

I've had two instances in the span of 3 days that have made me feel like an idiot. And apparently, I find enough humor it in to post it out into the internet.

Idiot Instance #1
I mentioned my cable being an issue a few blog posts ago. Since I've already done what I can do by exchanging my cable box, the cable man came by on Saturday to check out what the problem was. The cable man was nice enough to tell me that the wrong cable was used to hook up to the cable box.
Where I Fess Up: A few months ago, in preparation of setting up my living room for the "new television", I bought some cable. The purpose was to set up my TV from the north wall of the apartment (where the cable came out of the wall) and move it to the southeast corner of the apartment (where it would would look awesome). I actually pulled up the carpet, stuck the cable under the wall, and replaced the carpet all the way to the new area from the wall connection. Apparently, I bought the wrong type of cord and now I have to buy the correct type of cord and redo the whole thing to fix the picture.
Reason Why This Makes Me An Idiot: I could have paid the cable guy $35 to fix it and I didn't because "I could do it myself".

Idiot Instance #2
Yesterday, I tried putting my (automatic) car into gear and I couldn't. I would push the button on the gear shift and try to put it into reverse and nothing. Try again - NOTHING! The damn thing didn't work. Finally after pressing and unpressing the break it finally went. I figured it was a one time thing until it happened again tonight, twice.
Where I Fess Up: All my cars (in the past) were manual transmissions. My dad would often laugh at me if I was driving his car and I couldn't get the key out after turning off the car because I would forget to put the car in park. Yes, I have my blonde moments. I'm just not used to the automatic cars! I've learned all of the tricks with the sticks (no pun intented, but kind of funny now that I point it out) and when something goes wrong with an automatic it feels like I can't do anything about it because its not a manual transmission. I ended up calling the ex-husband and calling to play his mechanical skills and he told me to push a button near the base of the gear shift while pressing the button on the gear shift and that should make it work...and it did!
Reason Why This Makes Me An Idiot: I have fiddled with that button over and over again wondering what it does but never really figured it out because I thought it had something to do with the overdrive. In reality it says "Gear Shift Lock Override".

Introducing The Youngin' To Great Comedy

Today, I bought myself a great early Christmas present.

I honestly feel that The Muppet Show (and Mel Brooks) contributed to my (and my brother's) sense of humor. So when I saw this sucker on sale, I had to get it. When I was unwrapping it, Jake asked me who the Muppets were. I had to double check that this was indeed my child but then I realized that I was a basically given a lump of life and I have to mold him into what I think he should be. God help me if he turns into Alex P. Keaton, but thats a story for another post.

Back to the molding...so we've managed to squeeze in about 9 episodes tonight since we started relatively early. Can you venture a guess who his favorite character has turned out to be? The Swedish Chef!

Here is a little taste of what my kid has fallen in love with:



OK - what kind of sensitive wimps are we putting out in the world if this is the stuff WE grew up on and everything else is so watered down? The man has a gun to make donuts! Let's not mention the Chinese cake he tries to beat with a bat, the Mexican lobster he tries to kill and the bandidos come to save him, and the chicken he treatens with a butcher's knife. So already we know much of this wouldn't fly with the current censors...but look at this treasure I actually saw as I was typing this.



Quotable line:
"Of course it's a female! You don't expect me dancing with a male, do you? That'd be weird!"

Seriously, are we fucked up? Because I find that line funny and not offensive at all and yet, it wouldn't fly this day in age on any of the kids shows. Are we better rounded adults than our kids will be or have we evolved into tolerant beings because of how open we have to be to accept the changes that our world is going through?

There is no point in getting into any discussion about this because I know you guys just really want to sing the song...so go at it:

Cursed!

See what happens when you give bad customer service? Karma always gets its revenge...

Being Left Behind

At this very moment, the Jakeman is on the phone with his classmate hooking up the Wii's so that they can play Pokemon Battle Revolution together over the Wi-Fi.

Damn, I'm getting so old!

Oh, Marimo!

I'm just sitting on my couch and surfing the net, trying to recover from this cold that has basically bitch-slapped me into submission. I come across Dooce and Heather posted a link to this video. Its a 10 minute Japanese short film about a girl, Mika and her dog, Marimo.

Let me state for the gals that I didn't expect to cry but I did. And it was Steel Magnolias/Beaches-worthy crying but without the sobbing. Thank goodness for that!

Fighting The Evil Cable Company

I have been having issues with my cable box for a while now and everything seemed to come to a head today.

For the past few weeks, a few channels have slowly gotten worse in terms of quality (think snow). I called the customer service line and they suggested I go exchange my cable box to try and fix the problem. I was finally able to head out this morning to do that. So I had the address in my head and Jake and I started our errands. Before heading to the cable office, I had to stop at the bank and I had promised Jake a stop at Starbucks for a hot chocolate. I knew from the map that a particular Starbucks in a strip mall was around the cable office so I opted to take him there. We get back in the car and start driving. Going back and forth on the road for about 10 minutes, I couldn't seem to find this cable office. I finally call the cable company to ask them where it was. "They say "oh its behind the Wells Fargo Bank." Um, that Wells Fargo bank is about 20 yards away from the Starbucks we were just at. I seriously didn't believe the representative, but sure enough - thats where the cable office was. And yes, I felt like an idiot.

So I get my cable box and head home to get it hooked up since I had invited my uncle and cousins over for the Mayweather/Hatton fight. I hook it up and I can't see any On Demand channels or the Pay Per View option to order the fight. I figure its because I just changed the box, so I call the customer service line. They tell me that I have a past due balance that I have to pay in order to get the fight. Um, ok - so I pay the balance and they said that everything would be ready to go in about 2 hours while they process the payment. This was at 1pm.

I was busy getting ready for the family to come over and at about 5pm, I call the cable company to order the fight. I finally speak to a human being at 5:15pm. This was our conversation:

Me: Hi I'm interested in order the Mayweather/Hatton fight and I can't do it through my cable box for some reason.
CSR: Yes, I see here that you have a balance.
Me: Well, I took care of the past due balance this afternoon and they said to call back a couple of hours to wait for it to post to my account.
CSR: Maybe you have to wait 24 hours.
Me: What? Thats not what they told me earlier. They said that its all resolved and I just had to wait a couple hours.
CSR: Well, you have to take care of this balance.
Me: But that balance is my December bill. I'm current on the account.
CSR: I don't know what to tell you ma'am. You have to pay this amount to get the Pay Per View to work.
Me: That doesnt make any sense, the account isnt due until the end of December.
CSR: Yes and after you pay it, I will process the payment and have the fight turned on. That will take 1-2 hours.
Me: No! I already waited my 1-2 hours for the payment to post. I want you to turn on the fight right now. Are you guarantee me that the fight will be on in 1-2 hours?
CSR: Yes
Me: Then why can't you just turn on the fight now? It makes no sense.
CSR: What? You can't wait 2 hours?
Me: Excuse me?
CSR: Its what the process is ma'am (and in a sarcastic tone). I'm sorry.
Me: I'd like to talk to your supervisor please.
CSR: Fine, please hold. God bless you.

I'm put on hold for about 5 minutes and nothing. So I hang up and call again.

Me: Hi, I'm having trouble ordering the fight and I was wondering if you could help me.
New CSR: Sure, let me double check your account.
Me: Thanks
New CSR: Ok - the price of the event is $54.99. Can you check channel 802 please.
Me: Um, ok
New CSR: Let me process your request. Please hold a moment.

The undercard fights comes on the television

New CSR: Well that should do it - anything else I can do for you.
Me: Uh, you have been great. Thank you!
New CSR: Thank you and enjoy the fight!

So the family and I are cooking our hot dogs and hamburgers and watching the fight. At around 7:30pm, the picture gets all wonky; cutting out, freezing, and only hearing the audio at times. At 7:45pm, the picture goes out completely and I'm left with a black screen. We turn off the cable box a few times and wait it out in case its a temporary thing. At 8:15pm, I call the cable company (again). And after being on hold for 20 minutes, I get this conversation going:

Me: Hi, I ordered the Mayweather/Hatton fight and it went out about 30 minutes ago.
CSR: Ok, let me check your area for outages.
Me: Thank you.
CSR: I can't see any problems in your area. Do you have any other problems with other channels?
Me: Nope, everything is fine. Its just that one channel.
CSR: Are you sure you are on the right channel?
Me: Uh, yes. We were watching it and it just went out.
CSR: I just sent a signal to your box, did anything happen?
Me: Nope, nothing. Still out.
CSR: Ok, I really don't know what to tell you. Let me send out another signal and if nothing happens in 10 minutes, please call us back.
Me: You know, can I just stay on the phone for 10 minutes because if hang up, its going to be another 20 minutes being on hold.
CSR: Sorry, ma'am. Just call back in 10 minutes if you have any issue.

Now, during this call my cousins and I were joking that it was probably that first CSR that helped me getting her revenge on me for wanting to talk to her supervisor. That she turned off my access to the fight to have the last laugh. After 10 minutes, still staring at the black screen so I call the cable company AGAIN.

Me: Hi...(yes, I sounded defeated). I was watching the Mayweather/Hatton fight and the screen went blank. Can you please help me?
CSR: I can try! Lets see - let me first send a test signal.
Me: Yeah, I already went through all this with another representative and she told me to call back in 10 minutes if I didn't get the picture back and thats where I'm at.
CSR: Ok - let me check if there are any outages in your area.
Me: Sigh -ok. I was already told that there weren't. Almost made me feel like I was making it up.
CSR: Well, well...it looks like there are some outages in California.
Me: Great - is there any luck that they will be fixed before the main event? I mean it would suck if this actually came back on only for us to hear "That was the best fight ever!" and I'm charged for looking at a black screen for most of the night.
CSR: Don't worry about that. I'm going to credit your account right now to make sure that you dont get charged for it since you did call with your issues.
Me: Thank you very much!
CSR: Keep checking the channel, you never know - it might come back on and you'll get to see it for free.
Me: Ha! Thanks - we'll keep checking.
CSR: Have a good night.

Time at the end of call: 9:20pm

While all this was happening, we were basically watching the Kings/Coyotes game and surfing the net for entertainment. I found this round by round coverage of the fight. So every couple of minutes, I would read out the recap. We finally decided that maybe we should vote who would be Mayweather and who would be Hatton in a re-enactment while I read out the play by play. But, unfortunately, that didn't fly.

Best Inmate Escape Story Ever!

Going through Fark, I found this little diddy that caught my eye. Someone needs to turn this into a movie starring Martin Lawrence.

Inmate escapes by clogging toilet to create distraction
CHARLESTOWN, Ind. (AP) - An inmate escaped from a work-release crew after he created a distraction with an overflowing toilet, authorities said.

Wayne Mitchell, 24, was in the Clark County Jail for a probation-violation warrant, but had been working with a crew clearing roadside trash. When the crew stopped at the Clark County Fraternal Order of Police lodge to eat lunch, Mitchell went into a restroom and clogged a toilet, causing it to overflow, police said. He then came out saying he needed some towels from the jail's van to sop up the mess."The toilet overflowed and the rest of the inmates were trying to clean it up," said Maj. Chuck Adams of the Clark County Sheriff's Department. Instead of going to the van, Mitchell walked to nearby G&R Auto Sales, where an employee gave him the keys to a car he said he wanted to look over, police said. Police said he then stole a red 1995 Chevrolet Camaro convertible.

Officers later found Mitchell's jail-issued clothes at the dealership, about 15 miles north of Louisville, Ky.

First of all, this guy deserves an award other than his freedom for outsmarting everyone in this situation. Let make a few assumptions and observations:

1) He is on a roadside trash pick up detail. A group of about 20 people that are doing community service probably have about 2 people overseeing them. These guys are PRISONERS so you'd think they'd have more people supervising them. Plus they stopped at the Clark County Fraternal Order of Police lodge. How many people do you think were sitting around in there with a law enforcement background? If the amount of people who used to hang out at the VA in Ridgecrest were any indication, this is getting more and more embarassing for the Department of Corrections in Indiana.
2) Isn't the toilet clogged one of the oldest distractions? Oh look, its the Easter bunny!!!
3) OK - how many people does it take to clean up a clogged toilet?
4) I'll ask - how did he clog it up? I'm going down THAT route because I live with a 6 yr old.
5) Didn't the car salesman get a driver's license from escapee? Don't they collect those items when you, um, check into prison?
6) My favorite part of this is that they haven't caught him.

Vote For The Foos!

The 50th Grammy Award nominations were announced this morning with Kanye West leading the pack and Amy Winehouse a close second. But, not too far behind are my boys - The Foo Fighters. The Foos are nominated for 5 awards including Album of the Year and Record of the Year for their song "The Pretender".

Now, I'm not going to lie, I LOVE "The Pretender". Anytime I'm alone in my car, I put Echos, Patience, Silence, and Grace in my cd player and just rock out to that song. Let me put it to you this way, I would buy the Rockband accessory for my Wii just so I could sing this song in my apartment. I haven't had this much love for a rocker since Lenny Kravitz stole my heart when I first heard "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"

Curious to see what my hype is all about? Here is their video for "The Pretender". And yes Derry, I've already made up a karaoke routine to this...I PROUDLY ADMIT IT!



Now - the Grammys need to make this up to me and have the Foos win (even though I think that either Rhianna or Amy Winehouse are going to take it). Why you ask? Did you get a chance to watch the My Night at the Grammys special on CBS last weekend? They counted down the top 25 moments in Grammy history.

In the spot #25, Aretha Franklin steps in for Luciano Pavarotti to sing Nessun Dorma, a famous Italian aria. Now...you all know my love for Aretha so being that she's #25 was already irking me. But, she was asked to sing for Pavarotti one hour before he was to take the stage. ONE HOUR. OPERA. ITALIAN. How can this not be higher on the list? How? Here is the audio from the Grammys.



When I first heard this performance, I cried. To this day, I'm still moved by the pure emotion that she conveys. She is the best and I'm now even more excited about seeing her in February.

Some other memorable performances on the Grammy flashback show were:

Melissa Etheridge and Joss Stone with their homage to Janis Joplin:

Why I think this video is awesome: Joss Stone (wacky as she is) has one of the best soul voices out there and Melissa - well Melissa rules. She ranks right up there, not as high as Aretha but as high as Annie Lennox. And not only did she rock the performance but she did it after fighting her battle with breast cancer.

Michael Jackson proving why he was a great performer:

Why I think this performance is awesome: Not only does he combine two of my all time favorite MJ songs but ITS MICHAEL! And the Michael that we would refer to in the present tense, not the past tense.

Ricky Martin launching the Latin music scene onto America:

Why I think this performance is awesome: There are moments in life that for one reason or another, you remember vividly. For me, this is one of them. I remember being in my friend's apartment helping him put together his tv stand or something and watching this unfold on the tv before me. I remember thinking "this is when he becomes a full blown star in America". Lets not mention that he was in Menudo, star on General Hospital and was already known world wide considering that the song he was singing was the anthem to the World Cup. But you know those pesky white people! And you know they were all dancing in their seats but they were too embarassed to get up and get their groove on...

So the Grammy Night thing - gave the #1 spot to Green Day singing American Idiot. I actually love Green Day and American Idiot is one of my favorite songs from them - but #1!?!?! Did I mention Aretha was #25 and she sang Opera? And trust me, I didn't even go into my rant about Alan Jackson and Celine Dion being ranked higher than the videos I posted.

This is why the Foos need to win this year. It can't be this HUGE shock that rockers can have the best album and record of the year in music that they get voted the #1 moment in Grammy history. At least American Idiot was bashing the Bush Admnistration, so I'll cut them some slack on that one.

An Angry Worded Response To A Customer Service Survey

This is an actual response that I sent to Levitz. The reason I was asked for my feedback was that I had ordered a couch and I finally had it delivered this past Sunday. Lets not mention that I had ordered it at the end of October. After getting the delivery moved around because of a back order issue, the couch was in my sights when I received an email a week ago that I was receiving the couch on Sunday. I got a call on Wednesday confirming my delivery date and that I was going to get a call on Saturday to firm up the 3 hour window for the actual delivery. Around 4:30pm on Saturday, I realized I never got a call and luckily, I had the phone number in my cell to be able to call and find out what time they were coming.

Here is my response in the "Do you have any comments or issues regarding this delivery?" portion of the survey that I was sent on Monday night.

First of all, I never got a call about my delivery window. I had to call the warehouse to get that information. Additionally, I received an email on Monday regarding my delivery time on Sunday. What good is that going to do me when the delivery supposedly already happened? Secondly, my delivery time was for 1-4pm. At 4:15pm, I called the customer service line to find out why my couch had not been delivered. They told me that I would receive a call in no more than 15 minutes to get an update on my delivery. At 4:45pm, I called again because I had not heard anything from the warehouse. In about 5 minutes, I did receive a call from a very nice young lady (I'm sorry, I dont know her name) who told me that I had to wait 45 more minutes for my couch to be delivered. I was very upset that my whole Sunday had to be put to waiting around for my couch to be delivered. Whoever called me that last time (well, actually only time) was extremely polite and apologetic. She offered to waive the delivery price for the next day but I was not going to wait yet another day for a couch that I had received about 4 emails changing the delivery date. She also offered to refund my delivery charge, but I had received free delivery at the time of my purchase.

I can understand that delays happen - but 2 hours past my 3 hour window is completely unacceptible. As a customer, I would have truly appreciated a phone call from the warehouse telling me that the driver was delayed and given me a more detailed time of arrival. I was told that you offer the option of getting a phone call 30 minutes - 1 hour before the arrival of the delivery truck. However, your company failed to complete your end of the bargain by arriving during the window that you gave me. As soon as a delivery driver can see that they are not going to be able to fulfill their promise, then someone in the warehouse should call the customer and let them know in case they have a prior engagement after the time window given.

I figured I had gotten all of my anger out and then they asked me if I had any additional comments...well I guess I did.

I'm just very frustrated that I had to basically waste an entire Sunday to receive my couch. The driver never really apologized for being late. They just came in, saw where it needed to be set up, dropped it off, and left after I signed for the item. I wasnt treated with disrespect, but I was really upset and didn't want to take my anger out on the driver because I don't specifically know the reasons for him being late.

I understand that your company makes hundreds of deliveries a day and I'm sure the horrible experience of one customer may not amount to much. But as of right now, I will not be shopping at Levitz again and encouranging my friends and family to do the same because of this experience.

And yes, I realize now that I misspelled unacceptable and encouraging.

And in case you are curious, this is the reason for all the hooplah:


Isn't it pretty?!?!?!

Best Widget Ever!

Hmm, if I could only figure out how to put it in my sidebar without screwing up anything I have on there now.

My Ghetto Cars

When you sit in your car - you love your car. It doesn't embarass you. It takes care of you by taking you from point a to point b without leaving you stranded somewhere. It protects you from the elements.

In my life, all my cars have failed me in these examples - one way or another.

Car #1 - 1980 Mazda RX-7
Yes, I had a race car. I loved this car. It made me feel pretty badass driving around in this thing. True, the bucketseats were so deep that I had have a pillow to sit on. True, the defroster didn't work at all so when it got cold, I had to roll the window down a bit and put the heater on full blast to create some sort of El Nino effect in my car so I was able to see out the windows as I drove. I could actually live with all these things - but the one thing I couldn't live with were the backfires.

Sometimes, when I would turn my car off, my car would backfire. And not just a POP backfire, I'm talking about a BOOM! backfire. This was when I worked at Universal and employees would park in this parking structure. On the weekends, I had an early shift and would park on the first level. Being that I'm a person of routine, I would park in the same area every weekend. The EMT's would change shifts in the same area as I would park and I would see them those mornings. I got so in tune with my car, that I knew when a backfire was coming on. Most times, it was in some mall parking lot where I could pretend I owned another another car. But, when it happened those weekend mornings....I had nowhere to hide since it was usually the only the EMT's and me. So I would do what any self respecting girl would do if I knew it was coming - I'd run. Certain EMT's finally figured out it was me - oh the memories.

Car #2 - 1999 Nissan 200sx
Another racecar - sensing a pattern here? This blog has detailed many adventures with my devil car. Most notably, it breaking down in Montclair when we were on our way to my friend's son's baptism party and the constant oil leaks. But what I will always remember this car, is for the fact that the driver side window didnt work. It was an automatic window and one day it just stopped working. I tried over and over to get it fixed and if it was the correct motor, then it was the wrong switch - I was destined to not have this window work ever again. I was so embarassed by the window thing that I really cut down on my fast food eating because I couldn't go through the drive-thru. Having to open the door to open, pay, and receive the food was just too much humiliation!

The best story of this window was when I was driving home in the carpool lane with Jake and a cop forced me out thinking that I was alone. He was yelling at me to roll in the window down and I was just screaming "THE WINDOW DOESNT WORK!". I was so close to opening the sun roof and just standing up and telling him that I did have someone else in the car. And yes, I did do the sun roof thing once in a drive thru.

Car #3 1996 Nissan Sentra
This is an interim car until I find something I really like - whether its a new car or a newer used car. This car isn't pretty but it works. Sure, it has some sort of tiny oil leak, but I'm used to living with that. What I can't live with, is that fact that it leaks. And I mean, I realized it leaks when it was raining and the water was coming into my car! I was driving to work Friday morning and it was raining. I got to a stop sign and all of sudden I felt water coming in. At first, I brushed it off because I was in the car. But then it happened again. I looked up and I saw the water gathering near the visor and then dripping down....into my lap. I cleaned it up thinking (hoping) maybe it was a one time thing but nope, it wasn't. I grabbed a napkin and wiped it, then saw the water gather enough for another drop to fall again, into my lap.

Now I notice that there is another section under the visor of the passenger side that is doing the same thing. TWO LEAKS! I make my left turn and I guess a lot of water has gathered wherever its gathering and a some water falls into my lap. Great, I now look like I have peed in my pants and I'm on my way to work. I make a right turn and some water is starting to fall into my passenger seat/floor area. Because I can be lazy, I happen to have a couple of sweaters in my car. I grab them and I put one where the water is falling in my lap and the other in the passenger seat. And thats how I drove to work. When I get there (and find a spot on the 2nd floor so I wouldnt have to park on the roof), I look on the roof of the car. I notice that there are two tiny rusted holes near the top of the windshield. Fabulous.

The funny thing about this, is that I've already made this whole scenario up that if I have to park on the street and I'd have to put a big plastic trash back held down with bricks to prevent water from getting into the car. At least I have trashbags and I can always swipe a couple of bricks from my little garden in front of my apartment. Plan B is set!

I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!!

Damn this puzzle kept me up for a while, but I finally got it. I love my determination.

FACTS:
There is a bus with 7 children inside of it
Each child has 7 rucksacks
In each rucksack there are 7 big cats
Every big cat has 7 small cats
Everything listed above is entirely in the bus
All objects are unique
There is no driver
Every child has 2 legs
Every cat has 4 legs

QUESTION:
How many legs are in the bus?

Can you solve it? The solution is committed to memory, if you need help just post.

How Hard Is It To Proofread?

A time when spellcheck would have done wonders.

I don't know about you - but a HAMBUGER doesn't sound very appealing.

The Most Distrubing Yet Most Interesting Hour Of My Life

I was watching a special on The History Channel called The Pigs. Yes, you read right...PIGS. At first, Jake and I weren't sure how it was going to turn out, I mean how interesting are pigs really?

The description of the show read like this:
It is said that the pig is as smart as a three-year-old human. The pancreas, heart valve and intestines of the pig have been transplanted into human bodies, yet the primary use of the pig is for food. Watch the pig transform into bacon, ham, ribs and sausage, using a high tech water knife, at Burger's Smokehouse in Missouri. Then Chef Chris Cosentino re-creates old world dishes from pig parts and culinary artisans attempt to duplicate long-vanished pork specialties like prosciutto and acorn-fed pigs.

Interesting fact: some pigs can run a 7 minute mile. 7 MINUTE MILE! I'm lucky if I can do a mile in less than 9 minutes. So I've learned that a pig can out run me. Great for county fair races bad for my ego.

Then they started talking about how they inseminate pigs to maximize the breeding. Because its the History Channel and they like to be detailed, they showed how they did it. This is about the time when I stopped eating my dinner. Jake was rather unphased, true, he probably didn't understand what was going on but I was just sitting there...like this:

I just couldn't believe what was happening not only were they showing the insemination, but now we've moved to a company that actually collects, analyzes, and sells semen. Yes, you read that right. And they showed the collection method!

Please refer to picture above for reaction shot.

And by the way, Jake is still unphased. Its one of those moments in parenthood that you have to pick, either you react and explain why you react or just let it slide and pray that they don't notice.

Jake turns to me and asks "Mom, are they helping the pigs pee?"

"Yes, Jake. Yes they are."

Hmph

I wanted to post something...really I did. But I have nothing. I could talk about the Heroes episode I just saw but quite frankly it wasn't all that spectacular to be writing home to mom about (although I can pick up the phone and call my father and talk to him about it). Next week is the "season" finale. We'll see how they do. They have gotten about 4 decent episodes and the only thing I have been excited about so far has been the killing that has been going on. I may need to re-evaluate my values.

Actually something rather exciting in my own little world has happened over the weekend that really, only I can get excited about. Apparently, the SciFi network has started rerunning season 3 episodes of Battlestar Galactica and I'm starting to catch up thanks to my TiVo. I managed to watch 8 hours of BSG! Yes, I typed out BSG and if you watched, you would understand how fraking good this show is. I've tried to get a few of my friends to watch but I think thats its that one step from geekhood they are hesitating from taking.

Its ok - I get it. I'll be here...waiting until you are ready to show up. Its totally worth it, TRUST ME.

The Best Birthday Present Ever

My little Scorpio turned a whopping 6 years old earlier this month. And the great mom that I am, I got him a Wii. At first, I thought this was yet something else to corrupt my child's mind with and then something strange happened.

I GOT HOOKED.

I wish that I could say that it was from being pushed into it from having to play with Jake. But no, this was all me. The funniest thing about this, is that I've gotten a bit obsessed with creating Mii's.

What's a Mii you say? A Mii is a cartoon/digital version of yourself (or anyone else) to be used in Wii games such as Wii Sports and Wii Play. They have websites all over the place where people can show off the mii's they have made. And some sites, even give you step by step instruction on how to make some of your favorite celebrity mii's.

Here are some of the ones that are on my Wii:

STEPHEN COLBERT

DAVID LETTERMAN

JACK BLACK

MISS PIGGY

I have many more on my mii - I just don't want to expose my geekiness to the internet world.

Movie Review: Enchanted

In lieu of staying home and being tortured by the play of my favorite football team, I invited my family to go watch Enchanted in the theaters.

When I first heard of this movie, I thought - "Oh God! Seriously?" I thought it would be cheesy and not very funny. Then, I saw the trailer and thought "Ok - it is Disney. It looks campy. And it breaks out into song in the middle of Central Park. Maybe its not that bad." So I have actually been looking forward to this movie coming out for a while now and this morning the curiousity was quenched.

Now - a little quiz for my avid readers - between the 6 year old and the 31 year old - who LOVED this movie? I'll give you a hint...its the one who DOESN'T get the whole Pokemon thing.

Lets just say when the movie ended, Jake said "Thank goodness thats over! Can we go to the park now?" He hated all the songs, which was funny considering that the night before we stayed up until midnight watching White Christmas. So, if you know me even a little bit, you know that I loved this movie and yes...I was crying through most if it (I have no shame!).

If you haven't seen a preview, the movie is about a soon to be fairy tale princess that is sent to modern day New York and meets up with a New Yorker and his daughter who end up helping her while she waits for her Prince Charming to rescue her.

Giselle, played by Amy Adams (who I only knew as the Debra Messing's little sister from The Wedding Date) is so cute and charming as the displaced princess. One part I was cracking up at was when she woke up in New York and was calling the woodland animals to help her clean. Well, in New York, there are not many woodland creatures, but there are plenty of cockroaches, rats, flies, and pigeons that show up to help.

This is a family movie but can very easily pass for a date movie. The movie is rather predictable (its a Disney movie for goodness sake) but it has enough charm and wit to keep even those pesky cynical guys entertained.

Final Rating: Full Price

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for returning home from my parent's house and the turkey dinner to my tivo, my wii, my wireless internet, and unlimited amounts of soup and sprite to help me recover from whatever food virus I contracted yesterday.

Oh what a great Thanksgiving this was...

Taking Political Correctness Too Far

Santas warned 'ho ho ho' offensive to women
Wed Nov 14, 11:04 PM ET

Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.
Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.
"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph.

"Leave Santa alone."

A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.

The Lazy Weekend

I love weekends when I don't make any plans. I love that the only things I did have plans for were to do my laundry and catch up on the movies from Netflix - oh yes, and watching that hockey game featuring my favorite group of scrappers. What an interesting weekend it turned out to be.

Saturday was relatively quiet - I had every intention of doing a full cleaning of the apartment, but that procrastination kicked in and I think I ended up dozing off while watching some rerun of I Love Lucy. The sunset and the countdown to the game began. After the first two periods - I didn't know if my loyalty and love for my team was going to get me through till the end of the game. My Kings were down 4-0 and looking like their week off had put rust on their gears. Then my loyal reader(s)...THEN - the ass kicking began! It was 4-1, then 4-2, 4-3....4-4! Then by golly the Kings took the lead! They actually set a franchise record in scoring 5 goals in 5 minutes and 7 seconds (yes, I didnt have to look that up, shut up)! I was actually jumping up and down and screaming in my apartment anytime they scored. At least I wasnt wearing my jersey while watching the game at home. Right after they took the lead - a penalty was called on the Kings and Dallas tied it up sending it to overtime. In overtime, the Kings score and win!

You can see the yo-yo of emotions from this highlight reel (please ignore the ass kicking at the beginning of the video, thanks!)

Sunday, I didn't have to fight anyone for the laundry and managed to watch Pan's Labrynth on my brand new laptop! I freaking love this thing!

But the best part - THE BEST PART of this whole weekend was that I was actually going to see The Departed. Now, if you are not aware of my drama with this movie, let me give you a little run down. I got The Departed from Netflix in June... J-U-N-E. For one reason or another, I would always procrastinate in watching it. So finally today was the day. I pulled the DVD out of the sleeve and put in the DVD player....I pushed play and nothing. Nothing? NOTHING! I turn the DVD player off and turn it back on. Same thing. I take the DVD out and its scratched to hell. CRAP! So I put it away to send back and figure I can just get it on pay-per-view. But, I can't find my remote for the cable box to order it. Sigh - I'm destined to not see this movie.

Another Candidate for Best Fight Scene EVER!

Make It Stop!

I can't get this song out of my head! Damn that Fergie and her catchy tunes...

Involuntary Self-Imposed Hiatus Is Over

Thats what you get when your computer basically says "Yeah, I know you want to turn me on, but I'm going on vacation!" and then, well, not turning on - at all.


I have to admit, this whole computer being on the fritz thing was pretty funny. I asked a friend of mine to check it out and the next day when I went to see him about it, our conversation sort of went like this:


Me: Hi!
Him: Hello
Me: So tell me! Did you get a chance to figure it out?
Him: Um, how long have you had this computer?
Me: I dont know, about 7 years I think.
Him: Huh
Me: Why?
Him: Because I havent seen anything like this in about 10 years.
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah, it was kind of funny.
Me: How funny?
Him: I also found a spider web in there.
Me: (speechless)

I have officially started looking for a laptop.